Monday, March 14, 2011

Jalen Rose Keeps it Real

Who knew? Jalen Rose isn't always a stiff douche who spits out bland "analysis" such as "Kevin Durant is a great scorer because he can beat you so many ways, the great jump shot or slash to the basket. Back to you, Stu." As evidenced by his starring role in the ESPN documentary about the "Fab Five", you get Jalen out of the suit and give him free reign to discuss his glory years in college and he actually has a lot of interesting things to say. The doc itself, while very informative, suffers a little due to the absence of the central figure in the Fab Five sensation, Chris Webber (it's a bit like doing a documentary on the Beatles and interviewing every one but Lennon) who, understandably I guess, declined to be a part of it due to the fact that so much of the film is built around his failures (the time-out play and his taking money from a booster that basically erased the team from the history books).

Still, Jalen makes up for C-Webb's absence by keeping it real through out.

Some of the best stuff from Jalen during the film:
  • He thought Christian Laettner was a pussy and resented Grant Hill because he came from a happy black family
  • He wore 42 to spite his biological father, Jimmy Walker, (not that Jimmy Walker) who wore 24 in the NBA but ran out on Jalen when he was born
  • He knows what a crack house looks like
  • He used to call the Ohio State Buckeyes the F#@k eyes
  • He thought C-Webb bitched out by throwing the booster Ed Martin under the bus and their friendship was never the same
  • He liked EPMD a lot
  • He played beer pong and drank 40s in college, but so did everyone else
  • He was an expert trash talker, researching opposing players' mothers names and anything "crazy" that had happened to their family in the weeks prior to playing them
  • He didn't want to go to Europe with the team because "it wasn't Detroit"
  • The team wore plain blue t shirts (without a Nike or Michigan logo) during starting lineups to protest the exploitation of their image by everyone

and that's just some of the fun facts that I learned from Jalen Rose during the film. Now if they could just somehow work crack houses into those boring ESPN broadcasts.


  1. Maybe he used to keep it real, but now everytime I see him he's arguing with Skip Bayless about Lebron James.

  2. exactly. He keeps it real during the movie (in his present day interviews), but he sucks on ESPN most of the time.

  3. Jalen Rose needs a paycheck. It's hard to keep it real while earning a paycheck (unless you're a rapper, a pro athlete that isn't under scrutiny, a comedian, etc).

    Jalen Rose has a job and has enough sense to not to lose that job doing something like Charles Barkley and getting arrested for a DUI en route to a blow job. Or even get caught in a place where some of his boys were carrying crack (like in his college days).

    I think he still keeps it real. He was very honest, I know he hates Isaiah Thomas, and we'll forgive him for not keeping it real and jabbing Nick Van Exel for this...

  4. I remember when he almost fought Ewing when he was with the Pacers. Put his dukes up and everything.

  5. TRIVIA QUESTION (which I dont know the answer to)

    I remember seeing Jalen Rose in a couple rap videos. Anyone know which ones?

  6. Has appeared in music videos for rap stars Ludacris, P Diddy, Nelly and Style. (taken from his bio.)

    I think they mean Styles P. I remember him in the "I get high" video, but that's it. Kind of ironic since people used to think he was on drugs in college.