Monday, December 19, 2011
That Stupid Lexus Commercial is Ruining Christmas
Christmas is a wonderful (if somewhat stressful) time for everyone. Even Jews enjoy the birth of Christ as it affords them valuable movie marathons at the local Multiplex as us ignorant, Christians awkwardly try on our sweaters and eat turkey and whatnot. But there is a real war on Christmas, an assault on the true spirit of our holiest day. That is those awful Lexus "December to Remember" commercials.
There's so much to hate about this ad campaign. Firstly, it's just one douchebag after another giving their douchey spouse a luxury car with a big bow on it (a douchey bow I might add). Who can relate to this? I'm no supporter of OWS, but this commercial makes me want to pitch a tent in the nearest publicly funded park on Wall Street, and start eating cans of spaghetti o's in a drum circle. It's simple hate, but it feels so right to hate these idiots. The economy is going to hell, every day there's a new story on the nightly news proclaiming 90% of the country lives below the poverty line and is now eating urinal cakes for nourishment, millions of young adults are moving back in with Mom and Dad, Russia has a Satan missile and these fools are giving Lexuses to each other like they're Harry and David fruit baskets.
I wouldn't even hate on the ads if the execution was slightly less annoying. Each ad unspools in the same horrific manner: some type of annoying couple is going about their daily routine; getting ready for a night on the town, playing a generic version of Rock Band with the kids or something when they're alerted to a special gift lurking outside their home/condo. Unfortunately for us it's not a Satan missile, but a Lexus with a big bow on it. I understand that there is a world out there where people buy each other's cars for Xmas but it doesn't seem like this is relatable for much of America. And the way they cutely reveal the gift is gag inducing. These technological wizards somehow program their building's elevator or a video game to play that annoying Lexus December to Remember theme song. I suppose if you have the disposable income to lavish a 50 thousand dollar car on your loved ones you can also rig the elevator in your condo or pay somebody to reprogram your video games. And about that song, the whole premise of the ads rely on the gift recipient instantly recognizing that song as the "Lexus" song. I could hear that a million times and not associate it with Lexus. It sounds like a basic Holiday type song. But now I'll instantly associate that tune with douchey rich assholes who take over my tv during every time out of every NFL game and remind me of how much worse my life is since I'm sweating over buying an Ipad! Bah Humbug and go to Hell, Lexus!