Monday, May 16, 2011

Best and Worst Superhero Movies

With the success of Kenneth Branagh's Thor and the excitement over the new X-Men, Spiderman, Green Lantern and Captain America movies coming to an African bootlegger's spread out sheet on Fulton St. very soon, let's add to the hype overkill and look at the greatest and stupidest Superhero movies of all time.


Compared to newer superhero flicks, this one seems a little dated. But Tim Burton set the stage for the more sophisticated big budget blockbuster comic book movies, and that Batman logo is still one of the cooler posters.
Spiderman 1 & 2:
Maybe the first superhero movie to explore the psychology of why someone would become a superhero, and also featured some great effects.

Batman Begins and The Dark Knight:The gold standard in comic book movies, the first movie to almost get you to believe that a guy would put on a funny suit and jump around beating up bad guys (I especially like the scenes where Bruce Wayne is testing out different costume technology) and featured some great set pieces and acting (as far as superhero movies go).

The first X-men was a very solid film, not as bloated with mutant shenanigans as the next couple of X-movies. Not as much character development as the ones I previously mentioned, but very good nonetheless.

Iron Man:
Brought Robert Downey Jr. back to superstardom (maybe bigger than he ever was pre-drugs) and Tony Stark was a cool, fun playboy alternative to Bruce Wayne's solemn, rich but miserable hero.


The Hulk (both versions):
Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee didn't get much right with his version of the big green guy, but the next version with Ed Norton as an ornery Bruce Banner wasn't much better. The cartoonish Hulk (although he probably cost as much as the GDP of many small countries) actually looked worse than the original Lou Ferrigno hulk of the 70s.

Hard to find anything good in this piece of trash. Ben Affleck is even less believable as a superhero than he is as a South Bahston tough guy. Even Matt Murdock could see this was a bad idea from the jump.

The Punisher (80's version):
Dolph Lundgren grunted his way through this 80's adaptation of Marvel's most violent character. Dolph couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag, but the biggest mistake in this whole mess might be the decision to leave the iconic Punisher Skull off his chest.

Spiderman 3:
The poster boy for shitty sequel: convoluted plot that was probably rewritten by 5 different screen writers, one too many villains crammed in, and an overall boring movie that looks like it was the obligatory third film in the contract of almost everyone involved.

Superman 3:
A blemish on Christopher Reeve's resume (may he rest in peace), thankfully not too many people remember much about this one except that it was God awful, Richard Pryor was in it, and it was referenced in "Office Space".

Batman and Robin:
Wacky director Joel Shumacher has admitted that he intentionally played up the homoerotic nature of the relationship between Batman and Robin, so you weren't the only one reminded of Ace and Gary every time there was a close up of Bat nipple or crotch. Thank God Christopher Nolan revived this franchise, scrubbing away the camp and overall goofyness that made this movie such an unwatchable turd. Tim Burton had ratcheted up the camp value a little in Batman Returns, but this looked like a gay fever dream.

We'll keep our hopes up that the upcoming Spiderman reboot and Avengers film are more like the first movies on this list than the later ones. If I missed any, let it be known, geeks.


  1. Worst:

  2. spam spam, spam spam...skibots babba booey

  3. Oh yeah, Catwoman was terrible, forgot about that one.

  4. Which do you think is better Batman or either Nolan movie? Some friends of mine, wrongly I think, argue that Burton's Batman is superior to both Nolan movies, harping on the voice thing mostly.

  5. I agree that the original Batman is the best.

    And Dark Knight is overrated.

  6. Really? Besides better production value, I think both Nolan films have superior casts, stories, and action. I think Burton is outclassed on every level by Nolan's films. My theory is that people only like Burton's Batman better because they saw them when they were young and more impressionable.

    When I was a kid I thought Transformers was better than G.I. Joe. When they both came out on DVD, I bought both and re-watched the first seasons of both. I discovered that I thought that Transformers was almost unwatchable and that G.I. Joe had much better and more realistic stories (assuming you ignore the billions of dollars of equipment and infrastructure Cobra had).

  7. Yeah, Bottle's a movie hater. Dark Knight is the best of any Batman movie by far, even if the voice is a little weird. If you go back and watch the Burton Batman, it's not as good as you remember, although still good.

  8. Yeah, I probably like the first one for sentimental reasons. I admit I haven't seen it in over 15 years.

    Dark Knight is a bit overrated though. It falls into the same category as over-hyped-though-cool-looking movies like Inception or Avatar.

  9. I disagree on putting Inception and Dark Knight in the same category as Avatar. Dark Knight is in the same category as "real" movies, it's already out of the league of other superhero movies.

  10. Our films sucked too! Hulk got nothing on us.

  11. Elektra was probably the worst one. It made Daredevil look like MTV Movie Award winner.

    You forgot to include Ghost Rider is my personal favorite, and should have been on the best list.

  12. I mean Ghost RIder is my personal favorite, and it should have been on the best list. I'm sorry I messed up my line, I couldn't see my cue card.

  13. There are a ton of shitty superhero movies I forgot, Ghost Rider, Fantastic Four definitely sucked.

  14. I will soon take the crown as crappiest superhero movie.

  15. Green Lantern, I hope you're wrong about that.

    I do, however, think that Ryan Reynolds was wrong for the role, that it appeared they were trying to cheese of Iron Man a bit, and that the costume animation didn't look right.

    I hope that in brightest day, and in darkest light, I won't have to beware of Green Lantern's might.

  16. Blacky....That comment is not gonna help me get on the best list. Please try to keep that to a minimum. Thanks in advance.

  17. The first Iron Man was good.

  18. M@d, when are we going to see a review of Thor on PTU? Rumor is you saw it this past weekend.

  19. Bottle, I love the first Iron Man, but I don't like the idea of the makers of Green Lantern making that character like Tony Stark in Iron Man.

  20. Hey, I'm friends with footballgrl, when is that sexy M@d $cientist going to review my favorite movie Thor?

  21. If M@d doesn't write a review of Thor soon, I will.