Friday, March 25, 2011

Savior of Fountain Day

Unfortunately, SUNY Albany's time honored tradition of Fountain Day has been cancelled this year, because dozens of out of town college kids rioted and destroyed a city block. The dean of the school decided it was fitting to cancel a school sanctioned event because of the behavior of students and non-students at non-school sanctioned events off of school property.

Now, no one will slice open their foot this year on some broken glass. Nor will anyone swim in the fountain like it's a pool for retarded people. It makes me sad, very very sad. It should make you sad too, very very sad. But don't kill yourself just yet.

Forty-one year old student, Chris Schewe, has devised a solution. After smoking weed, he decided he decided to protest this gross miscarriage of justice by chaining himself to one of the fountain pipes. This is truly a courageous act in light of the anticipated high of 35 and low of 21 degrees forecast for this weekend. Chris will brave the elements for three days while the campus remains fairly empty over the weekend, although anyone needing to use the computer lab will have the opportunity to witness his bravery.

This isn't the first time, Chris has sprung into action either. He previously threatened a hunger strike over comments made by Glenn Beck. Chris is truly an inspiration. You can clearly see students smiling as they admire Chris's heroism. Witness his bravery in the photos posted at the link and smile along with them.


  1. Who's this Blacky guy? Be better not show his face in my neighborhood.

  2. SUNY Albany needs to stop pretending they are a serious academic institution. Fountain day pictures were on my id when I went there. Also, some off campus frats burned a house down when I was there and we were still allowed to have fountain day.

  3. Fountain Day was one of the few times most SUNY Albany students were awake before noon. Plus the locals really enjoy it. Those rock eaters don't have much to look forward to. It gives them a reason to come out that abandoned Shoney's on Western Ave if not for some fun, then at least to take a bath.

  4. The Black girl in the pic looks like she's getting ready to make it hail on him.

  5. Albany Great DanesMarch 25, 2011 at 5:14 PM