Thursday, March 31, 2011
Nobody Likes The Asian Guy
Disclaimer: The stereotypes in this post are all jokes (even if they're all true).
It's sad but true. There's fetishes for everything, people have certain "types" that they're into spanning every race, color, creed, size, shape and occupation. But nobody has any love for the Asian guy.
The Asian girl gets more love than she knows what to do with. Black and white guys are lining up by the truck load for a crack at some Mushu Pork. I would say "Asian girl" is probably the number one fetish for non-Asian dudes. They can't get enough. I think it has to do with their reputation for being submissive and lack of body hair (but I could be wrong). Everyone loves the "exotic" looks of Asian girls, yellow fever is practically an epidemic. Just take a random survey of Asian girls and their partners walking through the city on any given day. You'll see more white guys than a Dave Matthews concert. Lots of girls have "things" for Latinos, black dudes, etc. No one has an Asian guy thing. If you see a white girl with an Asian guy, he's probably doing her taxes or something.
It probably stems from the old stereotypes, Asian guys aren't seen as sexy or handsome by most of America. They're always the nerd or villain in the movies we grew up watching, never the jock or hero. Girls like the athlete, not the ping pong player. They love accents, but not like the guy in that pic up there. Oh yeah, and then there's that other stereotype (I tell everyone I'm Chinese from the waist up). Most Asian guys I know don't want to come off as racist, and I have no problem with interracial dating (I wouldn't be here without it), but it's easy to see why all those black women in those Tyler Perry movies that I've never seen get so pissed at seeing black men getting snatched up by white girls. All the hot Asian chicks are with whitey.
So where does that leave the lonely Asian guy? Well, if you haven't noticed, yellow's in. For a little while last year, the top 2 artists on the Billboard top 100 were Asian for the first time. Never mind that those two artists were Far East Movement and Bruno Mars, it's still something. At least 1 and a half of the guys in Black Eyed Peas are Filipino. The number 1 boxer in the world is Asian. It's almost cool to be Asian now. I think if you're reading this and you're Asian, go out and find the first white girl you can find while the getting's good. Let's start eliminating the stereotypes one Becky at a time. It will make your ancestors proud. And if she resists at first, just tell her you're in Far East Movement. We all look the same to them anyway.