Thursday, May 19, 2011

Worst Creepers of All-Time

When you're famous, women (and sometimes men) throw themselves at you everywhere you go. You would think, with all the money and power they possess, they would be able to have discreet affairs outside of their relationships. Well, the following celebs prove that this assumption is not always true.

5) Kobe Bryant
Kobe brought his wife Vanessa - once a skanky rap video model - from rags to riches, complete with a boob job, plenty of plastic surgery, and even an automatic Lambo (which he got specially made). Then, while in Colorado having knee surgery, he was accused of attempted rape by a 19 year old hotel worker. He eventually settled the case (by spending tons of $$$) and smoothed things over with his wife (even more $$). Who knew creeping could be so expensive?

4) Marv Albert
Marv's victim - a former lover - accused him of biting her several times on her back while he wore a wig and panties. They eventually settled the case, but not before Marv temporarily lost his job and became the laughing stock of America.

3) Hugh Grant
Grant, who was in a relationship with Elizabeth Hurley (one of the hottest chicks alive), was caught with a Hollywood prostitute named Divine Brown. He received two years probation and was required to attend an AIDS education program. How she got the name Divine is clearly a mystery. (Just look at the pics above.)

2) Eddie Murphy
Eddie, like Hugh Grant, was caught in his car with a Hollywood hooker. So why is he above Hugh in the rankings you ask? She was a MAN, BABY! Yes, Eddie was caught with a transvestite, which ultimately led to a divorce from his wife. Eddie claimed that he saw him/her on the corner and wanted to help, which his wife replied to by asking "well, why the hell did you let him get into the car?" Good question.

1) Arnold
Arnold went from marrying into American royalty to yamming the woman who cleans his toilets. Now I can somewhat understand if he gave into a moment of passion, looked himself in the mirror, and said "never again with this hippo". Yet, the fact that she ended up pregnant leads me to believe that this was an on-going affair. Yes, one of the most powerful men in the country went back for more with the resident turd-cleaner. Now he is stuck with a child from an unwanted pregnancy: Something that celebrity money can't undo. Kiss your marriage and political aspirations goodbye, Arnold.

Honorable Mention:

Bill Clinton - he went from his bitchy, lesbian-looking wife to some fat intern with sperm stains all over her dress. Worst of all, he got caught and had to go home to Hillary, who surely gave him hell. JFK (RIP) could have taught him a thing or two.

John Edwards - ran his campaign based on his strong integrity and family values. Then was caught fathering a bastard child. Not much of a surprise, considering how politicians and proselytizers are usually the ones doing the worst creeping.

Ray-J - while I'm not sure if he was actually creeping, he did go from the hottest chick in the world (Kim Kardashian) to some washed-up 80's singer (Whitney Houston) who spent the last 15 years smoking crack with this guy.

1 comment:

  1. The prego pic of the Arnold's mistress maid is disgusting. The others aren't much better.