Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Bulls vs Heat Game 4 Recap: MIke Miller and The Heat Get The Monkey Off Their Back and Heat Fans are Retarded

Day before yesterday, I wrote how the Heat were turning the basketball world upside down and were going to stage their own 3-man revolution. Well, I guess Mike Miller took offense to that and decided he would show the world that there are actually other players on the Heat team who do occasionally throw the ball in the hoop. Miller was lights out in the 4th quarter, hitting all 4 of his shots, on a night when Dwyane Wade looked as bad as I'd ever seen him (despite his midnight shooting session the night before). While Udonis Haslem was a surprise contributor in game 2 due to his injuries, Miller has basically been non-existent all season and had pretty much been written off the key contributor list. If they can continue to get scoring from him, (which I doubt) Miami would be unstoppable. Still, the Heat were able to get something out of a guy they thought would be their biggest off-season addition outside of the big 3.

Before I say anything else about last night's contest, a word about Heat fans. They are stupid. And I mean that in every sense of the word. I'm sure there's a couple of real, knowledgable basketball fans (M@d $cientist included) who have been there since the Steve Smith and Brian Shaw days and behave themselves in a sensible manner, but for the most part, Heat fans are very stupid. They only show up when the team is winning (and even then they don't do so until late into the first quarter). The empty red and yellow seats in the AAA are so unsightly, that the team has begun putting white shirts ON THE SEATS. It's like the old joke about the sell out crowd in disguise as empty seats; Heat brass have resorted to literally dressing up seats as fans. I'd venture a guess that most of the hot girls and other tanned douche-bags in attendance couldn't pick Glen Rice out of a line-up let alone be able to claim being there since the beginning. I still remember the crowds in Miami being practically split down the middle between transplanted Knicks fans and Heat fans during the 90s so the fans in Miami have always been about as fair weather as..well, the weather.

Their basketball I.Q. is not the greatest either, as evidenced by the cheers of delight after LeBron did the Kevin Garnett block of a shot 5 seconds after a foul (even Steve Kerr got a chuckle out of that). Also, how about chanting about an actual player for the opposing team, instead of about a loudmouth TNT broadcaster like Barkley that no one pays attention to anyway? Maybe a clever chant like "Noah's a Fag"? If Joakim called a New York fan that on live tv, he'd be ducking D batteries on his way off the court. And while you're at it, ditch the t-shirt throwing thing. I understand most Heat pseudo-fans haven't been to many sporting events outside of wet t-shirt contests, but those towels and t-shirts are meant to be waved, twirled or worn, not tossed in the air like it's new year's eve after every win.

Now that I got my Hater J on, as for the game: The Bulls continued to struggle for long stretches on offense, partly due to great Heat D, and partly due to plain old missing shots. Rose was particularly awful for most of the game, and LeBron's defense on him at the end of the 4th and O.T. played a big part in that. Chicago has a slightly better chance than OKC being that they play 2 out of the next 3 at home (win game 5 and as they say, the pressure switches back to the Heat) but like the Western Conference Finals, Game 4 may have been the back breaker for the losing team. Both teams were a minute away from evening the series and now they're both a game away from vacations. The idiots will be celebrating soon.

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