Thursday, May 19, 2011

A-Rod: The Yankee I Dislike the Most

I really don't like A-Rod, which is funny, since I actually like many players on the team currently. I have a lot of respect the core three of Jeter, Posada, and Rivera, now in the twilight of their careers, despite recent events. Rivera is the best closer ever. It's too bad he's blown three blown saves against the Orioles. Despite that stat, his performance is on pace to roughly equal the quality of his performance last year.

I think Mark Teixiera is goofy looking motherf'er (I feel like him and John Lackey have to share the same horrible overbite genes), but he's a solid first baseman. He does insist on making nearly every play to 1B for an out more dramatic by scooping up the ball into a quasi-fist pump, holding up the glove to the Ump as if to say, "You see, I got." I remember making fun of Cano several years back for having a lot of errors at second base. That doesn't seem to be a problem any more. He's one of the best hitters on the team now, a superior player than the guy on my fantasy team five years ago.

Brett Gardner might be the fastest guy in the league. Too bad he struggles to get on base. Nick Swisher is my personal favorite. He's goofy, but so damn likable. I really enjoyed the Swishawk. I actually wish he was playing a little bit better. He's a strange and entertaining man. Check out his twitter feed if you into that sort of thing. I even like Joba, who looked terrible last time I saw him. I swear he got fatter. And if you type "Joba Chamberlain" into Google, Joba Chamberlain gains weight, Joba Chamberlain fat, and Joba Chamberlain overweight are suggested as possible searches. Looks like he's been hitting the buffet line a little more often than the training room. He's got a really touching story with his dad and all, but hasn't lived up to expectations. I guess he's doing better in the last few games. His ERA dropped to like 3.8, which is respectable.

Anyway, this post isn't about those guys. It's about A-Rod and why I don't like him. Now, I don't think that he's not a great player. I don't think that he's not one of the best hitters ever. I just don't like him. And it's hard to explain why I don't like him. It's not that I don't like him because he's not clutch. It's not that I don't like him because he's a Yankee, although I think slapping Bronson Arroyo's hand in 2004 didn't help. It's not like I don't like him because his life is way better than mine in many respects. I don't dislike him because of his divorce, potential cheating, or any other nonsense in his personal life. It's not about his stats, his ability as a player, or the life he leads as a result.

I don't like A-Rod because he seems like a douche. He just comes across that way. Maybe it's the occasionally frosted hair, those purple lips, or those hamburger helper mitts he wears. Maybe I dislike him because he's hopeless in love with himself. Remember that picture above. Nope, it's not Tiger Woods. It's A-Rod. Yeah, I suppressed it from my memory too, because he literally looks like he's saying to himself, "I'd do me. I'd go gay for me." Maybe it's that attitude. I'm not sure, but he just seems like a colossal douche. The guy's nickname can be literally translated to "a dick." That probably doesn't help. Maybe I just hate his face. I got into an argument with some girl who thought he was the hottest Yankee (No Homo. Note, a guy can say or do anything, as long as he says "No Homo" afterward or doesn't make eye contact.). I got it when chicks thought Jeter was hot. It made sense, but A-Rod just looks weird.

Jeter and Cano seem like alright guys. Maybe it's because they smile all the time. They project a quiet confidence that doesn't seem arrogant or indicative of insecurity. A-Rod, however, projects douche-ness constantly. Whether at bat, on the field, post-game, or in a commercial, A-Rod just oozes douche. Remember that Nike commercial with A-Rod training with a medicine ball? Yeah, I haven't bought a Nike product since seeing it. Nike sales probably slumped after it aired. Come to think of it I don't remember him being in any ads lately. It might be that he hasn't been in that many or it might be that he has so little charisma that I don't remember them.

Another reason I don't like A-Rod is that he does not seem that tough mentally. He's an extraordinarily talented athlete, but he comes across as very weak mentally. I feel like if he got cancer, he'd never play again. He doesn't seem like he would come back harder and stronger like Lance Armstrong (who may be a cheater) or Jon Lester. I just don't see it. He just seems like a whiny bitch. His career would be over. Yes, I realize that at his age, this comparison might not be fair, but I would feel the same way if he was ten years younger. And I don't think coming back from what I understand to be a relatively minor hip surgery proves otherwise.

I was reminded that I don't like A-Rod over the weekend when I saw him at bat with a big wad of sunflower seeds and what appeared to be like five pieces of gum. He looked like he had a dick in his mouth. I was somewhat concerned he could choke, but then I thought, "What an asshole. This guy is supposed to be focused on this at bat and he's got his mouth so full of crap he has to spit out sunflower seeds in between each pitch. Maybe he'd be hitting better if he wasn't so focused on what's in his mouth and was paying more attention to the game." Don't get me wrong, I liked the result, but I couldn't help thinking that he was being a lousy teammate and player there. Maybe I haven't seen enough tape of A-Rod. Maybe he does better with a dick's worth of crap in his mouth. I don't know, but I know I don't like him.


  1. Nick Swisher is my personal favorite. He's goofy, but so dame likable. I really enjoyed the Swishawk......I couldn't have said it better myself

  2. I'll expound on that in a future post entitled, "A Love Letter to Nick Swisher, No Homo."

  3. Will you be breaking down, your love/hate for ever member of the Yankees?

  4. Besides Nick Swisher, there are no plans to write any additional pieces on any current or former Yankees.

    I don't have a love/hate relationship with any Yankee. I just just like or dislike them, and may respect them as people or players.

  5. Blacky, What's your feeling on C.C. Sabathia? He's got the softest mid-section. Perfect for laying your head in and just drifting away.

  6. I think is weight is a real issue. Seems like his knees could go at any time, which would ruin his earning potential. I'd also be concnerned about rolling over in the middle of the night and smothering you, Nick.

  7. I'm pretty sure you could say it better than "so dame likeable".