Thursday, May 19, 2011
Top 10 Movies That Only White People Like
Some movies are embraced by the entire country; people of all colors, age and ethnicity. And then there are movies like these. White people can't get enough of them but you're more likely to see a Nickelback album on a person of color's ipod than one of these in their DVD collection.
So, here's the PTU top 10 movies that were least likely to have someone yell at the screen while watching:
Some minority females may like this tale of a sassy white teenage girl who becomes pregnant and the ensuing hilarity that follows, but most Puerto Rican dudes only know of one Juno: "Ju know Juan from Fordham Road? That nigga owes me 50 dollars, man". Teen pregnancy just doesn't seem as funny when Belle and Sebastian aren't playing in the background.
9) Indiana Jones
This seems to be a controversial choice here at PTU, but resident Puerto Rican Hater J insists that no one in the Barrio gave a shit about Indy and his whip.
You could probably insert anything directed by Wes Anderson, but this movie about an annoying boarding school kid who looks to be about 32 definitely collected dust at the 125th st. Blockbuster.
7)Into the Wild
For some reason, many minorities find it hard to get wrapped up in a movie about a kid who graduates college and decides to burn his car and money and go hiking in the woods instead of accepting a high paying job.
Spawning an even whiter sitcom, this movie is on VHS in many white dad's collections and is usually ranked among the best comedies of all time. Only Alan Alda's presence could have increased it's whiteness.
White college kids and older white men love this wacky comedy about a minor league hockey team. A minority will join the Klan before queuing this up on Netflix.
4) Anything directed by Woody Allen
Woody catches some flak for not casting minorities in his films about New York, but only from other white people since no one of color has ever seen a Woody Allen film.
3) The Breakfast Club
Another controversial choice since many people in the hood caught this on WPIX 11 and might have liked it, but most white people love this movie more than their mothers.
Birth of A Nation is more popular amongst minority audiences than this movie about two white men who decide to travel the country and visit wineries.
Beloved by all white people, but even the presence of Billy Dee can't get a brother to watch this. Amazingly, it is the most successful movie of all time, yet no minority ever bought a ticket to it (and to quote a Conan O'Brien joke, no one ever brought a date).
Any non-whites out there that love one of these movies, feel free to let it be known in the comments. Or if any white people beg to differ with one of these choices, I'd like proof of one of your minority friends enjoying one of these movies.