Thursday, April 21, 2011

Top 10 Funniest Sports Names of All Time

The price of fame and glory in sports is sometimes having to deal with people giggling at you about things you can't control like an ugly mug, funny voice or my personal favorite: a name that sounds like a penis or 70's porn star. All of these guys were probably made fun of mercilessly in grade school for their unfortunate names, but they've all had the last laugh I guess (except the ones who are dead already). So, let's make fun of them some more, shall we? (feel free to let me know if I left any out). Props to M@d Scientist for unearthing a lot of the more obscure names.

10) Wee Willy Keeler: Famous for the saying, "Put it where they ain't" and a nickname that he must have cursed to his grave, this former Dodger, Giant and Yankee must have gotten tired of explaining to all the ladies that he got that nickname because of his height.

9)Brady Poppinga: Only funny to spanish people, or people with a familiarity with spanish curse words.

8)Popeye Jones: This Dallas Maverick's name sounds like a blaxploitation movie from the '70s but looks like the Toxic Avenger. Combines the ugly mug with funny name.

7) Magic Johnson: Diagnosed with HIV 20 years ago, yet somehow put on tons of weight and is more succesful than ever. That truly is one Magic Johnson.

6) Jimmy Johnson: The rare "double male genitals nickname" name.

5)Dick Pole: Self explanatory.

4) Dick Trickle: This race car driver is supposedly also nicknamed "the White Knight" but you know that's just what he tried to force the laughing rednecks to call him. Not sure why none of these guys didn't just go by Richard.

3)Rusty Kuntz: No matter how cool the old stand by Rusty nickname is, your last name is still Kuntz.

2) Chubby Cox: This former basketball star at the University of San Francisco's (a place that knows a thing or two sister is actually Kobe's step mother. Being named after a steak seems much more sensible.

1)Johnny Dickshot: I considered it, but went with Bagels instead. This one time New York Giant outfielder's nickname is actually "ugly" since Dickshot wasn't a big enough burden to live with.


  1. Honorable mentions should go to Milton Bradley and Coco Crisp.

  2. Without a doubt. Johnny Dickshot would kill to have a name like Coco Crisp though.

  3. I dodged a bullet.

  4. M@d Scientist and I have discussed this post and we believe Dick Pole should have been #1.

    Either way, they all have terrible names.

  5. Glad you've decided to post about guys who only sound like dicks.

  6. Upon further review, you guys are right, Dick Pole is unbelievable.

  7. @ Bagels - That's what she said.

  8. LOL I should also add "No homo" to this entire post.