Friday, April 29, 2011

The Royal Wedding - Who Gives A Sh*t

Part of beating the Brits in the Revolutionary War and bailing them out in World War II, means that I shouldn’t have the royal wedding shoved in my face. “What is the Queen going to wear? What is the prince going to say? Where is Kate staying before the wedding? Let’s get a play by play of them shaking hands and greeting people. Oh my, look at all of the hats!”

A balding, horse looking, figurehead is marrying his kind of cute high school sweetheart. I don’t give a sh*t. Part of being American means I shouldn’t have to give a shit or watch it or hear about it. Why can’t I just wake up and go about my morning routine of coffee and news? Why do I need a play by play of hand shaking, what Posh Spice is wearing, or what is the prince and princess’ carriage ride to the palace look like?

Prince Harry, please continue walking around with your ginger hair and your sneaky grin. Please continue to pull as much tang possible, getting twasted at every opportunity, and living up to your “Dirty Harry” reputation. The longer you keep this going, the longer you spare me and all other American men the torture of retarded women and media outlets glorifying bullsh*t we could care less about.


  1. Why we celebrating this dude for marrying some plain-looking country girl? Harry does it right. He's probably pulling an Ice-T and getting all the hot stripper chicks.

    By the way, what's the British slang for boobs? Plumpos or something?

  2. Great Rant Bottle. I completely agree. This nonsense has been shoved down our throat non stop for the past few months. I don't get why people care so much. I know most people find it hard to roll their asses out of bed and to McDonald's every morning but has it really come to this. Do people look up to a family that no longer has any political clout or actual job within their country?

  3. I don't think Kate is that plain-looking, but she should could use a baps job.