Happy Good Friday. Jesus, we're cool with you and I know this is your big weekend and all, but some other holy man is also being persecuted: my man Derek Jeter.
The Judas' out there are hating on my man Jete, saying he's too old, his days are numbered, that he should just retire and leave the Yankees alone. While he can no longer perform like he used to it, we should have respect for this man for what he has accomplished.
Besides all the professional accolades - the championship rings, the hits, the Gold Gloves - he has also made love to every woman I dream about in the midnight hour. And now, with Minka as his Mary Magdalene, there is nothing he can't accomplish.
Jesus and Jeter have many things in common, besides both being great at baseball. Like JC, Jeter will rise again on the third day. Come this weekend, Jesus will be resurrected. All the haters will shield their eyes from the glory that will be emanating from his holy bat.
Expect a .300+ average for the rest of the season. Jeter's back.