Friday, April 15, 2011

It's Not Delivery, It's Disgusting

As food marketing in the U.S. continues to resemble a stoner's wet dream, we are met with this stomach-turning combination. I'm no foodie snob, and I've been known to put away an Ellio's frozen pizza or two in my time, but pairing up chocolate chip cookie dough with it is kind of gross. The advertising campaign is equally disturbing.

Some asshole walks into a party toting 2 gallons of milk (which understandably is met with confusion) only to run into his white buddy (commercial friends are always inter-racial) who, holy shit, also is brandishing a milk jug like Jalen Rose would an O.E. 40. High fives! Nothing makes a lame party lamer than frozen pizza, except milk and cookies. Bad enough most of Middle America's (and really everywhere except the east coast and Chicago) idea of pizza is Papa John's with pineapple, now you want us to eat cookies and milk with it? Mama Mia! Michelle Obama can't be happy about this. Might as well feed little Billy some cookie dough with his supreme pizza, sit him in front of the 50 inch Plasma while he plays Call of Duty on-line for 6 hours and let his arteries clog up like the family toilet will an hour after choking down this crap. No wonder North Korea hates us.


  1. You know there is that unfortunate soul, that puts the cookies on top of the pizza and enjoys his dinner and desert all at once.

  2. I think that's the obvious next step.