Eminem sucks

Rappers are just like professional athletes when it comes to their prime years. They're usually at the top of their game in their early to mid twenties then slowly fall off until they're but a shell of their past selves. In both professions, this usually happens in their mid thirties with the exception of a very select few. Jay-z and Ghostface in rap, and Mariano Rivera and a few others in sports. Eminem is comparable to a lot of athletes not only in how he was a young phenom who signed a huge contract and then tore up the competition his first few years in the game, but also just like so many ball players, his decline happened after he stopped using drugs and shortly after his 35th birthday. Em on pills was like Bonds on steroids. He went from

"Two pills I pop, 'til my pupils swell up like two pennies
I'm Clint Eastwood in his mid-twenties
A young ass man with a trash can strapped to the back of his ass
so the rats can't chew through his last pants"
to

"quit playing with the scissors and shit and cut the crap".

Seriously, he said that. Thankfully, he wasn't rewarded with a Grammy for that horrible collection of third grade puns and 12-step program self-love. Marshall loving himself just doesn't make for good music.

Eminem, get back on the drugs and start hating yourself again or just retire before it's too late. We've seen washed up athletes still holding on way past their primes and it ain't pretty. Least we still have the prime years to look back on.