Friday, September 9, 2011

Week 1 Picks

Like most of America, some members of the PTU crew (M@D, Bagels, and myself) have joined a “Pick ‘Em” pool. The rules are simple. Pick all the games in any given week using the point spread. I don’t make myself out to be an expert, but I do think I’m better than these two clowns. So here go my week one picks (omitting last night’s game, which I lost…stupid goal line last play).

Giants (-3 ) Why give points when five of your defensive starters are out? You do it because the Giants have won five straight against these bums and the Giants have too much offense for “The Skins” and Rex Gross-man. I also love seeing the legacy of Mike Shanahan deflate while Elway looks more and more like the greatest QB of his generation.

Cowboys (+5) I hate the Jets. I hate the Cowboys. I hate this game and having to pick it. This feels like a game where the Jets put me to sleep after too many beers with Uncle Frank and win with Sanchez putting up 150 yards on 11/20 passes.

Ravens (-2) Like many, I think the Steelers will win the division and will be waiting at home to play someone in the AFC Championship game. But I’m taking the Ravens here given it’s early in the year and the home team always seems to win this game (by a field goal).

Lions (+1.5) I’m drinking the Kool-Aid for one week. I like the Bucs (I have Mike Williams on one of my fantasy teams and I wanted to draft Josh Freeman) but if the Lions are ready to get that last playoff spot, it has to start somewhere.

Falcons (-3) If you can give me two good reasons to believe in the Bears’ O-Line or Jay Cutler, I’ll consider otherwise.

Bills (+6) Ryan Fitzpatrick looks like a guy I want to have a beer with, wouldn’t mind getting in a bar fight with, and someone who will secretly throw for over 3500 yards in Butthole, New York. The Chiefs overachieved last year and are primed for a let-down year. I can’t see them losing a home opener (Arrowhead is a huge homefield advantage) to a bad team, but wouldn’t be surprised. 6 points are too much.

Colts (+9) This isn’t a result of having faith in the “The Bearded One” a.k.a. Kerry Collins. It’s lack of faith that Houston (a perennial disappointment) can cover a huge spread and actually live up to an expectation.

Rams (+5) The Rams looked like a disciplined, overachieving team all last season. They showed the same discipline under Spagnolo this preseason and Sam Bradford looks like he’s ready to improve on a solid rookie year. Conversely, the Eagles have bench warmers claiming they are a “Dream Team” and Andy Reid has cost gamblers a ton of money with bad use of time out’s/challenges/overly aggressive play calling. I’ll take the disciplined home team getting points any day.

Browns (-6.5) The Bengals just had Ced Benson come back from jail (he should be ready for his standard 30 carries and 60 yards) and they are starting a “Ginger” QB. That’s enough to pick against them…I guess.

Titans (+2) I think The Bald Bomber and some “runaway from the cop’s speed” should be able to beat whatever inexperienced player the Jags start at QB.

Cards (-7) I’m not sold on Kolb just yet, but I’m convinced Cam Newton is terrible and this entire Carolina team is going to be God awful. One Arizona touchdown may be able to get you a push.

Seahawks (+5) Everyone knows the 49Ers are throwing this season to get Andrew Luck. They shouldn’t be favored again this year.

Vikings (+9) The Chargers seem to be 9+ points better than Vikings. But the Chargers don’t start playing until late October making me weary of the points.

Pats (-7) I was mad this was the Monday night opener. I was even more mad when I saw what the next game was. The Dolphins are not good. The Pats are. The Pats also have a douche bag, homeless wizard for a head coach who loves running up scores on crap teams, inflating the numbers of the most P-Whipped QB this side of the Mississippi.

Raiders (+3) Another crap MNF game. Unfortunately, I’ll probably place a small wager on this game and stay up until 1 in the morning watching and wondering, “Why does ESPN force me to watch this crap when there were so many other great games this week?” Run DMC killed the Broncos last year. That’s enough for me to take points.


  1. Since lines change before kick off I am just going to use the current lines you have.

    The Giants should win easily and cover
    The Jets should beat and cover a bang up Cowboys
    I am going with the Steelers, I don't the Ravens made enough improvements to start beating them.
    Lions will be better but Tampa has less question marks look for them to win.
    Falcons win due to QB play.
    KC will beat up on lowly Bills
    Take the Points on those Colts
    Eagles have the fire power they will cover
    Take the Browns
    Titans all the way
    Take the Cards
    San Fran will surprise you
    Vikings +9= YEEEAAAAH
    Pats will squish fish
    Broncos !

  2. Football Expert BottleSeptember 11, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    Picks that Jay screwed up on:

    Just about any time the Steelers are getting points you have to take them. Besides, I think the Ravens are slowly going downhill. Steelers +2.

    The Bills suck really bad and it's really hard to play well in Arrowhead. Since the spread is less than a TD, take the Chiefs. Chiefs -6.

    And finally... take the Pats. My man Tom Brady is gonna DOMINATE. Pats win by 20+. Pats -7.