Hater J's NFL Week 2 Picks

Last week was helped by a solid Monday night. Let’s try to make this week better. Here go the picks…

Bears (+6.5) At some point, I have to admit that the Bears are a good defensive squad. I also have to come to terms with the fact that Matt Forte will catch 6+ passes for 75+ yards the first few weeks of the season and (don’t worry fantasy nerds, his numbers will drop and you’ll feel better about passing on him). A good team coming back home after a road loss rarely loses. I don’t think the Saints start 0-2 but I think the Bears’ “D” keeps them in this one.

Houston (-4) Miami just stinks at home and Houston needs to take advantage of another weak team before heading out to New Orleans.

Lions (-9) Matt Stafford limping on/off the field after every possession with a healthy Jahvid Best and a healthy Megatron is better than PTU favorite Ryan Fitzpatrick and his crew right? The Lions beat a good Bucs team on the road in muggy September. The Chiefs just suffered their worst home loss in about 20 years. I’m sipping the Kool-Aid for one more week. Go Lions.

Jags (+9) The Jags can’t play pass defense. Good thing for them, Mark Sanchez and the Jets can’t play pass offense. I can’t see the Jags winning this game by any stretch, but I can’t see the Jets and Sanchez blowing them out of the water. Jets fans, please don’t talk to me about Sanchez throwing for 300+ yards. You all know he sucked and just managed to make just enough plays down the stretch to win that game.

Bills (-3.5) The Amish Rifle is coming back home to play a team that is on a short week (Late Monday Night Game) and traveling three time zones. The Raiders will be hitting the “Snooze” button at kickoff.

Skins (-4) Cam Newton is bad and the Cards’ secondary is worse right? I have to believe that. Rex Grossman is serviceable. I expect him to have a big day at home against a bad Cards team.

Titans (+6) This has let down game written all over it. After playing lights out in a high energy/high emotion game, the Ravens go on the road to face a team that needs a win at home to keep pace with M@D’s expectations. I think the Titans’ offense will be better and expect Baltimore to be flat. Baltimore should still win, but the Titans can hang with them for a day.

Steelers (-14) A ridiculously high amount of points, and I’m still laying them. The Steelers need to make a statement after that embarrassment in Baltimore. Tavaris Jackson, you will not fool me again. The two people who read this, please don’t let me forget I said that.

Packers (-10) A week and a half of rest for Mr. Rodgers is just perfect for a huge day on the Cats. The Packers contain Cam and Bottle and Bagels can expect a ton of beer inspired messages bashing their new hero.

Vikings (-3) This game is a toss-up. I’m taking the more talented AP and the home field advantage in a game that may be a push.

Colts (+2.5) Two bad teams match up in what should be terrible. The home team is getting points, so I’ll take them. The NFL should issue apologies to whoever gets stuck with this as their regional game.

Pats (-7) The Pats love to run up scores, especially at home. The Chargers hate the East Coast and don’t start to play until late October. You have to take the Homeless Wizard and his Uggs sporting QB.

Broncos (-4) The Broncos can’t lose two straight at home. I also refuse to be suckered into picking the Bengals for anything.

Falcons (+2.5) The Falcons looked bad on the road, but the Bears may just be good at home. The Eagles looked good on the road, but that may be just because the NFC West is that bad. One big play on defense or offense will have the Atlanta crowd going nuts. I’m not sure Vick is ready for some playoff-type hostility.

Giants (-5.5) The Rams are banged up and were just outclassed by the Eagles after the first 4 minutes of the game. If the Giants are going to give me any hope of winning a bet with Snooty, they need to beat up an already beat up team in “The Swamp”.