Thursday, September 1, 2011


Who doesn't love the sandwich? Nothing satisfies quite like it. That earl of sandwich who supposedly invented the sandwich should have a national holiday dedicated to him. What did people eat for lunch before he happened upon the greatest invention in the history of food and people? Here at the PTU offices we can't get enough of sandwiches, it's all we eat around here. What are the best sandwiches you ask? Can we explain each sandwich in list form in a sarcastic manner? Glad you asked.

Tuna Melt

I'm not the biggest tuna melt fan (that honor would belong to Bottle) but pretty much anything with melt in the title is delicious. Tuna on it's own is fantastic (especially with some celery bits) but melt some American cheese and you have culinary gold.

Philly Cheese Steak

There was a controversy this past week sparked by M@d $cientist's insane revelation that Roy Rogers used to make the best cheesesteak. This laughable assertion is obviously a product of nostalgia clouded judgment. That or M@d has been sniffing paint thinner. Either way, there is no denying actual Philly Cheese Steaks, be they from the tourist traps in Philly, or just the greasy version served up at Nathan's (don't sleep), Carl's or Zeke's Roast Beef in Bay Ridge. Something about the thin steakum type meat mixed with sliced onions, gooey cheese (cheese whiz if you're a Philly person) and enough grease to drown a midget just makes me happy. (I was in Philly this weekend but alas did not get a cheesesteak. I suck).

Turkey and Swiss

What? Are you too good for the simple things in life? It's nothing fancy and doesn't have the greasy, over indulgent appeal of the cheesesteak but there's something to be said for the classics. Turkey (honey turkey maybe), couple slices of swiss cheese, crisp lettuce and two tomato slices, with a little mayo on your bread of choice is a traditional lunch that will always be the right choice. Add a bag of Kettle Salt and Vinegar chips, and you're all set.

Eggplant Parmesan Hero

Funny story about eggplant parmesan heros. M@d $cientist is so in love with the EPH from Pete's in Bay Ridge, that he froze a bunch of them and packed them in his luggage for a trip to Vegas. Sure, there's plenty of other types of food in Sin City that you could eat, but nothing satisfies the urge for gooey parmesan cheese, breaded eggplant and rich tomato sauce like the hero from Pete's. It's that good.

Sausage or Bacon Egg and Cheese

As Kanye West once said "Why's everything that's sposed to be bad make me feel so good?". As you can tell by most of the entries in my dream team of sandwiches, I'm not really the health conscious type. This being the case, it should come as no surprise that I have a Saturday routine that involves tossing on a t shirt and stumbling to Steve's Bagels in a stupor, for either a sausage egg and cheese or bacon egg and cheese. There's certain things in life that will never go out of style or be comforting. Whatever pork you put in your sandwich, be it on a roll, a bagel, a mcmuffin (dear God yes), you melt some American cheese (a theme in these sandwiches) on there and you have the food equivalent of pure mdma pills. Salute.


  1. best EPH hands down is from Tony's pizzeria on Bay Street in Staten Island.

  2. @Anonymous I will eat this EPH you claim is better and I will let you know how right or wrong you are.

  3. what M@d means to say is, Blasphemy! Nothing is better than Pete's!

  4. Down with Pete's! Tony's uses a Brick Oven

  5. We have our own opinions on Staten Island. Stay tuned.

  6. Are Tony's EPHs $5 and do they conveniently fit into a suitcase?

  7. u will try and u will learn