This season of Jersey Shore is moving right along, with the requisite Ronnie and Sam fighting, grenade smushing and belching. It's all as watchable as ever even if Gorilla Juice headed up Snookie isn't as much fun as single Snookie and most episodes spend way too much time on the cast being lost in Florence. One thing has kind of stuck out, though, to me at least. The Situation appears to be gay. He's not a flamboyant, flaming parade float type gay but he definitely shows signs of homoness. Let's investigate:
- He rarely sleeps with girls since the first season, usually coming up with excuses like the girl smells funny (one time this was due to a provolone prank from the other housemates), he'd rather talk to Snookie on the couch about his issues, he falls asleep, or some other nonsense that prevents him from finishing the deal.
- He's unnaturally obsessed with his looks. There's nothing wrong with caring about your appearance, but Mike takes it to another level of self worship. This might not make him gay, but he doesn't seem to be using his GTL commitment to land chicks other than one twin slut who slept with the entire house before landing in his bed.
- He likes to gossip and sabotage other people's relationships.
- He knocked himself out by banging his head into the wall instead of fighting another man.
- This picture.
Of course, All this doesn't mean that he's a fanook, but all signs point towards The Situation's espresso being a little sweeter than he lets on. Even if he doesn't actually prefer bragole, he has the tendencies of a very annoying, effeminate heterosexual. Stay tuned for further developments.