Who doesn't love nostalgia? I, for one, can't get enough of it. Does my love of things of the past mean that I had a great childhood that I look upon fondly or am I just dissatisfied with my current life and need to constantly live in the simpler days of my youth? Let's try not to think about it and instead focus on something we can all get behind: cheesy 80s commercials. We all remember these from the Saturday morning lineup of Ninja Turtles (second straight Turtles mention for me) and Garfield and Friends, or the Disney Afternoon and GI Joe after school that you enjoyed with your Capri Sun and Social Studies homework. Most of these commercials flood your mind with good memories like Snoot's basement will be flooded with rain water this weekend. A couple of these haunted your nightmares as a child and will probably bring back those horrible memories that you tried to block out, just like Snoot will be trying to block the rushing rain water from ruining his carpet this weekend. This commercial is one of those:
Did you piss your pants yet? It looks a little goofy now, but the somewhat cheesy effects don't diminish the horror one bit in my opinion. This was made in the late eighties/early 90s when the crack epidemic in New York City was still fresh in everyone's mind. I've never actually used crack (I guess that part got through to me) but what the Snake Man up there is telling you seems accurate. Coke, crack and weed will have you
- Stealing from your mama
- cheating on your homeboys
Sounds about right. It all leads up to the big reveal at the end that he's some weird snake homeboy hybrid. There does seem to be an inconsistency with the premise of this PSA though. If he's such a snake, then wouldn't he be trying to lie to children and tell them that their lives would be perfect if they bought drugs from him? They would have an unlimited treasure chest of Transformers that were only released in Japan and life would be an endless day of nintendo and kool aid kool bursts times 1000 if they were to cop some dope from him? He's actually the most honest person I've ever met. Spells it right out for you. Not very snake like. Anyway, plot holes aside, this commercial went on to haunt me for years until I was eventually able to repress it with lots of weed! (Thanks drug dealers!)
Stay tuned to PTU for more awesome and sometimes disturbing commercials from our youth. Good luck, Snoot!