Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The 2011 Kemba Walker NBA Draft

With the NBA Draft going down this Thursday, I wanted to give PTU readers a little preview of what is GUARANTEED to happen.

Kyrie Irving will be going #1 to the Cavs. His college career - including injuries, limited playing time, and unearned potential that comes from playing for Duke - should be a red flag for any team looking to draft him. Instead, the Cavs will pick him up, couple him with a big guy at #4, and hope that this 1-2 combo will lead them back to respectability. Derick Williams and Kanter - going #2 and #3 - will both have better careers than Irving.

Kemba the Great will probably go at #8 to Detroit, the home of the Motown Marxist - whom will probably be reading some weird science magazine at the time and who seems to prefer hockey anyways. Wizards could steal him at #6 (if they're smart).

Jimmer, the Great White Hope, will go at #12 to the Jazz and proceed to have a very underwhelming NBA career. Look for him as a 7th man with limited NBA minutes.

As for the Knicks: if they do not make a trade, they will end up with Marshon Brooks, some boring asshole out of Providence. If they decide to step up and make a big move (which they should), they'll trade up a few spots and get Bismack Biyombo - the athletic African with the 86'' vertical. Most likely, the Knicks will trade Toney D for Flynn, then get some scrub in the draft that won't do anything - thus leaving them with Fields (overrated), Flynn (kinda sucks), and 90 year old Billups in their backcourt, with Jared Jeffries (scum of the earth) to provide defense/rebounding. Knicks fans: pray for BiYAMbo.

Biggest trade of the draft: Dwight Howard? Pau Gasol? Not quite. The T'Wolves, looking to trade Beasley while his stock is high (after having the best statistical season of his career), will ship out the underachieving perp to the Wizards for the #18 pick. This way, the T'Wolves will use the #2 pick to fill B-Easy's void with Derick Williams, and then they can use (or trade away)picks #18 and #20. The Wizards, on the other hand, will combine Beasley, McGree, and Wall to form a young group of perpy players. Then, they will still have other picks in the draft - including the #6 - to build around them.

This Thursday: stay tuned.....


  1. Can you explain why the Wizards would want another PG?

  2. You mean if they try to steal Kemba? I'm not sure who they are going to draft, but there has been talk that they are interested in Kemba (according to ESPN, not me).

    Most likely Kemba will go to the Pistons though.

  3. I guess the idea would be to put Kemba at the 2. I don't support the decision, I've just read about it.