Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Want to Get Away With Murder? Be Pregnant in China

A friend of PTU that recently returned from a stint living in China came home with some surprising news. Firstly, China is awesome. Ex pats have personal drivers and cleaning ladies and basically live like kings. Plus, McDonald's delivers all day and you can get dinner for like 2 bucks and cigarettes for a dollar. Also, there's a lot of hookers. But maybe the biggest benefit to living in China-and one that was a total shock to me- was the news that a pregnant woman in China can not be arrested for a crime. That's right, if you're knocked up you have complete immunity over there. That's not all, this license to commit crimes extends over the next 2 years after you were pregnant! My first reaction to this was HOLY SHIT! Why hasn't anyone written a short story about this or a quirky indie film where a pregnant woman from Chicago played by Parker Posey becomes the head of a criminal enterprise of preggers outlaws? Seems like it would write itself. Either way, the streets of Shanghai are littered with waddling pick pockets, snatching purses in broad daylight secure in the knowledge that they will not be collared. This seems like a fairly stupid rule. Expectant mothers should be treated differently but I think giving up your seat on the subway is sufficient. Nevertheless, if I am hard on my luck soon, just look for me in Hong Kong. Waiting on my Big Mac delivery, smoking my dollar pack of cigarettes as I oversee my crime syndicate of pregnant women. Man, it'll be sweet.

1 comment:

  1. Who is telling America all of our secrets?