Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Can AJ Burnett Just Not Suck Tonight?

We're no stranger to AJ Burnett hating (just like any other Yankee fan who's paid attention these past three seasons) but we will surely be pulling for the hot headed right hander to regain his composure tonight. In the biggest game of the year, could it get any more tailor made for Lupica schlock? You couldn't script it any better.

It seems like one of those corny sports movie cliches, the embattled big money former star who's lost his way in New York only to find redemption in the most important game of his team's season with an entire city expecting him to fail. Call up ESPN films, I smell an Emmy for Hung's Thomas Jane as the misunderstood AJ. In reality, tonight's game is far more likely to end in a middling effort on both pitcher's parts than The Natural type theatrics. As much as Burnett has been a colossal fuck-up for the majority of his Yankee tenure, the guy on the other side isn't so great either. Rick Porcello sounds like he should be either working as a porn producer or pizzeria owner but he's really just a very mediocre inconsistent pitcher for the Tigers. If the Yankees can snap out of their offensive funk of the past 2 games (especially that gaping hole in the middle of the lineup wearing numbers 13 and 25) then they should be able to get AJ some cushioning. Now that they're not facing Jesus Verlander or heavy rains they should be able to return to regular season slugging form (you would hope).

And if AJ can somehow turn in a solid performance to bring the series back to the Bronx it will be as dramatic as any bloody sock or other great playoff performance you can think of. While I don't expect to see AJ dropping to his knees with tears streaming down his cheeks as the entire city of New York explodes in cheers as that music from Dragon plays in the background, I'll settle for 6 or 7 solid innings. That might be enough in real life tonight.


  1. I'm the biggest Yankee fan in the world and I can't figure out why CC isn't pitching tonight????

  2. MEN: AJ doesn't deadlift enough to pitch a decent game. He needs to eat more beans.