Thursday, October 27, 2011

Basil Marceaux.Com: Still The Funniest Man Alive

His 15 minutes of fame may have passed us by but DO NOT underestimate the genius that is Basil Marceaux.Com (he refers to himself with a .com moniker).  Here is a link to his new official blog.

He has run for office in the great state of Tennessee multiple times, and his main claim to fame was a feature on The Colbert Report and The Soup. Whenever I'm having a shitty day, I pull up some of these videos to cheer myself up. I've tried to collect some of the best below, but here are some of the wonderful quotes that Mr. Marceaux.Com has brought into the world.

  • On crime and gun control "I’d like to recall all permit and registration for guns. Everyone carry guns. If you kill someone. No. You get murdered then you go to jail!. "So who am I to say Ima write an ammement to the constitution say, nutcase can't have guns, criminals can't have guns...The government has patriot missiles and we has sling shots."
  • On the environment: "And, uh, I like to plant grass or vegetation across the state or any vacant lot and sell it for gas. So we can use it for our expenses."
  • On illegal immigration: " I said what, in America, I was looking outside to see if they flying the Mexican flag out there. "We aim these little red things down the road every foot, uh every inch, put up an infared fence."
  • On his sausage factory: "Maybe when I get my sausage goin, have these two people say Basil eat my meat, or maybe eat my sausage. But I need to have you know weird things stick out and give you make you history, what what what I'm an international celebrity."
  • Traffic Stops: "I also want to stop traffic stops, set it up like the supreme court ruled, vanilla vs. Iowa. Can't find innocent car, you can't look."
  • On Smoking Bans: "We got the smokers, even though that pack says it's going to kill us, if you look at their face they actually look enhanced. These two people are having the happiness to the maxinin."
  • Renewable Energy:"By 2080 the whole southeastern United States is going to be a dry land just like Mexico...because of the sun flares...last night at 12 o'clock, yesterday, sun flares broke off sun, and came at us 1,000 miles an hour like Aruba's, came at 12 o'clock at night and no one even knew that. When that happens in 2040 to 2050, the solar panel's won't work anymore. Windmills will probably work as long as we can find enough wind to make them work."
Here is a pretty great youtube video with all the key highlights, including subtitles:

Finally, as the holiday season approaches, I leave you with "A Basil Marceaux Christmas".

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