Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Yes, Valentines Day is Dumb. Now STFU.

We all know Valentine's day is a pain in the ass for most people. If you're in a relationship it's a drain on the bank account and the one day that men have to do all the things that we thought we were done with a month into the relationship. And if you're single it's a reminder of how alone and incapable of love you are (or something). Blah blah blah. Everyone knows this, so just shut up about it and grin and bear it for one day of your miserable existence. If you're in a relationship, be grateful that someone can put up with your holiday hating ass for another 24 hours without stabbing you with a tuning fork, and if you're single (for Christ's sake) please stop bitching about how much you hate Valentine's day. Maybe the reason that you have no one to spend Valentine's day with is you are a whiny, drag to be with. You don't have to keep reminding people that it's "just another day" because if it were just another day then you wouldn't be telling people "it's just another day". When was the last time you walked into work on August 7th and said "it's just another day"? If you did, then you are a very odd person and that might also be a reason that you will not be sharing a creme brulee with anyone tonight. Valentine's day is kind of a cruel joke of a holiday, and is even worse if you just started dating someone recently. Does the relationship that just recently took the leap from occasional hook up to actual dinners require a gift? It's a tricky subject but in this day and age of no strings attached fuck buddies, it's more and more common to have a romanceless purely physical relationship with someone. So if you choose to enter such an arrangement where things will never escalate past emotionless banging, you can't be upset when you have no Ferrer Rocher chocolates coming your way in the middle of February. It's like the mafia: this is the life you chose, now you must deal with the repercussions. If you want the thrill of easy cash and no-show construction jobs, then you have to live with the threat of a bullet to the head or a possible RICO indictment every day. Same goes for Valentine's day. If you want the no commitment relations then you have to live with the annual girl's night out on February 14th.

So Valentine's day is here to stay. Deal with it. If you're in a relationship, have a nice meal out, leave the kids with grandma and go home and wake the neighbors with your aggressive love making. If you're single, go out with your other single friends and get wasted or watch some porn or whatever. Just don't bore us all with how much you hate it, because believe me, we all do.

Happy Valentine's day everyone!

1 comment:

  1. Creme Brulee is fucking awesome! I'm not sharing that shit!!