Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Top 5 Hottest Female Athletes

You may have heard the saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", probably as some ugly person's Facebook status. That's true, as one person's "hottest girl ever" is another's "fat, plastic cow" (often known as the Kim Kardashian theory). Even more important than the beholder, though, is the setting that the person is placed. For example, that one girl in your office who everyone drools over wouldn't get a second look walking through Manhattan. She's "office hot". This phenomenon translates to the world of sports as well. It's a well known fact that most female athletes at the professional (or at least televised) level are testosterone packed freaks of nature, and are decidedly unhot. Any woman who doesn't look like Jim Carrey's amazon character on In Living Color is suddenly deemed "so hot!" by us horny male viewers. You're going to see a prime example of this over the next couple months as we'll be forced to hear how ridiculously hot Lolo Jones is, the 29 year old virgin Olympic athlete, who is basically the definition of "athlete hot". She's built like Michael Johnson but does have some pretty eyes. Still, she's already reached over rated status, and the Olympics haven't even started. There are a few female athletes who would be hot anywhere though.

5) Maria Sharapova

A mainstay for years on people's hottest female athletes list, Sharapova is still keeping her spot in the top 5 alive. While Anna Kournikova was undoubtedly hotter (and still is) Code 73.4 of the Pervy Sports Fan Blogger sanctions (and Mr D) forbids us from adding her to this list since she hasn't been an active athlete for many years and now mostly lays on the beach with Enrique Iglesias, Sharapova is still a winning player. The fact that she's married to Sasha Vujacic detracts from her hotness a little though.

4)Danica Patrick

While slightly overrated because she can drive a car better than most dudes, and is surrounded by rednecks, Danica is still hot. It seems like she tries to overcompensate for constantly being in a helmet with the Go Daddy commercials and swimsuit modeling, but that doesn't take away from the fact that she could get it.

3) Jennie Finch

While some (like Hater J) might think she looks like a random white chick you could pick up at Off The Wagon after a pitcher of Coors Light and some chicken wings, you can't deny that she is one of the hottest athletes ever. It helps that the majority of softball playing women look like this but I think you could stack her up against any group of 9 chicks and she would still stand out.

2) Natalie Gulbis

On the totem pole of hot female athletes sports golf is somewhere at the bottom (with a few exceptions), next to field hockey and bowling but there's one golfer who catches our eye, and not because she wears pants like Chi Chi Rodriguez. No, it's because she has big ol' boobs and stretches like that. Fun Fact: That pic has been Snoot's screensaver on his computer for the past 3 years.

1)Malia Jones

Ok, so technically Malia is a model as well as being a surfer, so she barely counts as a professional athlete, but why don't you try coming up with 5 really hot female athletes? It's like picking the 5 best shows on BET, or the 5 most interesting things to do in Staten Island. So we're going to stick with a surfer/model as number one. Any excuse to post pics of her is fine with me.

1 comment:

  1. Wow I am glad that my favorite athlete Lindsey Vonn is on top among the hottest female athletes. I have gone through list of hot athletes and happy to find all my favorites in the list.