Thursday, June 7, 2012
PTU Religion Hall of Shame
This morning I read a disturbing NYDN article which sparked the idea for this list. While I'm not an atheist and I'm not going to get into the merits of religion, many religions certainly have really crazy rules and practices, which in any other context would seem completely insane. Being equal opportunity haters here at PTU we won't focus on any one religion, although since we mostly know Catholics and Jews they feature most prominently on the list. There are so many crazy things to chose from but these are the ones that stood out.
5) No Cursing
This seems to be a stupid rule all religions have but only your grandmother follows. Here is something someone made up when they wrote the bible: Ephesians 4:29 tells us, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
As a prime example of this sin, here is the NEW KANYE WEST MERCY VIDEO (it also helps get us hits).
4) No Masturbating
Seriously? Most religions (except some Protestants) seem to forbid this, although I couldn't find any specific holy scriptures addressing the issue. If there was ever a rule that should be broken, this is probably it. My best evidence is found here in some nerd paper called Sonographic observation of in utero fetal "masturbation". If god made humans and we get this going before we are even born in my mind this activity is fully sanctioned, end of story.
3) Don't eat Shellfish
This one is pretty confusing growing up in an Italian household since every Christmas we seem to eat lobster and shrimp in honor of Jesus. Apparently some guy named Leviticus worked for the beef lobby and got this clause inserted in the bible "And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you".
2) Your wife can't grab the balls of a guy mugging her husband
I have to thank crazy list site http://www.11points.com/ for coming up with this one. Apparently there is some concern that if your wife squeezes the balls of some guy attacking her husband she is being inappropriate.
Deuteronomy 25:11-12 "If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity." What a whore your wife is, you are being attacked and she is trying to grab some guys balls! (okay the bible didn't say that last part).
1) Drinking the blood from newly circumcised penises
Seriously WTF!! This is the story we were talking about this morning that spurred the idea for this post. Apparently one sect of Ultra-Orthodox Jewish people has an ancient ritual where they suck the blood out of the wound after a circumcision. I have to think some sick weirdo came up with this ritual thousands of years ago, because I can't imagine any logical way this would please God.