Tuesday, May 1, 2012

NY Dumbass Hall of Fame: Amar'e Stoudemire

Today's as good a day as any to introduce a new feature at PTU: the New York Dumbass Hall of Fame. New York sports has seen some truly stupid athletes throughout the years, from John Starks to Plaxico to the Mets, but we have to begin with our inaugural inductee: Amar'e "Glass Joe" Stoudemire. As everyone's heard, he followed up last night's invisible performance vs Miami with one of the more idiotic moves in sports history, punching the glass case to a fire extinguisher out of frustration and possibly ending his season. That's next level stupidity, some real Kevin Brown type shit. Does this mean the Knicks season is over? It was probably over already anyway, and it's been proven that Carmelo plays better when Amar'e's not around, so I'm not shedding any tears for his loss. Our 100 million dollar man, however, has now proven that not only does he have a weak body, but his brain is also made out of pudding. Figures that one time the Knicks put up some fight in this series, it's against a fire extinguisher. I actually liked Amar'e last season; he put the team on his back (and in the process probably ran himself into the ground) and brought life back to the Garden for the first time in seemingly ages, but since the arrival of Melo he's been at best a less than complimentary player and at worst an outright liability on the court. There's been thesises written about why Amar'e can't play defense or grab rebounds. Is it because he played for D'Antoni for so long? Did he put on too much muscle? Is it the off the court distractions? Maybe Amar'e just suc'ks at defense. Maybe he's just la'zy. And we all know that he is definitely stu'pid. His corn rows must have been wound too tight, cutting off whatever oxygen he had going to that pea brain of his. And now he's done for the season most likely, but at least we know that he is capable of hitting the glass.

Amar'e, welcome to the PTU NY Dumbass Hall of Fame.

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