Tuesday, November 29, 2011

It's About Time, Assholes

The NBA owners and players have finally reached a tentative agreement and that means there will be professional basketball this season. After weeks of hearing about the "nuclear winter" and the hopelessness that had swallowed the never ending talks between the asshole owners and even bigger asshole players, everything was solved. Yes, after close to 5 months of 18 hour days spent behind closed doors discussing God knows what, everything was wrapped up neatly early this past Saturday morning. Did the two sides finally meet in the middle? Were Derek Fisher's debating skills too much for David Stern's crew to bear? Did they finally get sick of ordering Chinese food every night? Most likely, it was none of those thing that resulted in the lockout coming to a glorious close: they finally came to their senses and realized they're all losing money. The players have missed one paycheck and were soon to miss another, and without the coveted Christmas games being played the NBA would lose their marquee day to shine. As I've said here before, Stern talks tough about pulling the plug on the entire season, and taking his ball and going home if his boys didn't play fair. But as we suspected it was all bull shit. Essentially, the two sides were playing a game of chicken as some of America waited impatiently. With the recent law suit the players brought against the owners, everyone came to their senses and said "ya know what? Let's go back to making ridiculous amounts of money again? Who are we kidding?".

What's really striking about this whole fiasco is the response of the players. Their tweets show that this wasn't the players raging against the machine. Half of them didn't even know what they were arguing about. Take this gem from labor expert LeBron James:

"Man I just got up not to long ago and see we have a deal! I feel like my kids on X-mas day! So juiced!! Excited for the fans that stayed patient with us! #NBAlove,"

Besides his ignorance of the difference between to and too, this doesn't seem like the response of someone who has been battling over complex economic issues for months. How about noted scholar Oklahoma City Thunder swingman James Harden? What was his take on the two sides finally coming to an agreement? He seems like an intelligent dude:

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. I feel like I just got drafted again."

Ok, so none of these guys could give two shits about BRI or revenue sharing, they just know they missed a paycheck and they want to play ball again. I guess that's something we could all relate to. No matter what the reasoning was for the two sides coming together, I'm just happy that I can stop pretending I care about NCAA basketball or hockey and get back to some NBA basketball this Christmas. Greedy assholes.

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