Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Oops: A Late PTU Year In Review

Oops. We missed New Years but here's the half assed Year in Review I meant to post last week.

You might have noticed that most blogs have been trotting out their end of year best of lists, and this blog is no different. As we count down towards the end of 2011 and a possible armageddon it's time for some instant nostalgia. Time is moving ever faster, and with this accelarated pace comes an increased fondness for the past. And if there's one thing we love, it's nostalgia. What were some of the biggest stories this year? And what was just some crap that caught my eye or ear? Let's break it down in some Larry King or Mike Lupicaesque bullet points

  • The Knicks were finally a decent team again with 2010's signing of Amare Stoudemire. But this year was all about the will he or won't he escapades of one Carmelo Anthony (aptly named Melodrama by the media). Despite Bottle's worries, things turned out pretty OK for the Knicks. The addition of Tyson Chandler has given them one of the NBA's best front lines and has inspired legions of bandwagon fans in New York to proclaim "the Knicks are back". We'll see how far their awful backcourt can carry them (even with their new Chinese egghead) but it's refreshing to have a half way good team at the Garden. High Point: Acquiring Carmelo Anthony Low Point: Being swept by Boston in two lifeless games at the Garden.

  • TEBOW MANIA took over! Love him, hate him or pretend to be indifferent (you know you felt some sort of way about him) Tim Tebow dominated NFL coverage for about 7 weeks in 2011. I'm as sick of hearing about him as you are so I'll leave it at that.

  • The Year 2011 will be known for many things such as Tebowing (see above) and it's even more annoying predecessor Planking. I think this might have started at the end of last year but it definitely reached the height of obnoxiousness in '11.

  • A quick list of my top 3 albums this year (in no particular order)

    Jay-z and Kanye West- Watch The Throne
    Action Bronson- Dr Lecter
    The Kills- Blood Pressures

that's it for music this year

Top tv shows

Breaking Bad

Boardwalk Empire

Open Court on NBA TV

  • The Yankees were pretty good through most of the season, and eventually ran away with the AL East thanks to a mammoth collapse by the Sox, but their pitching was always a nagging concern. Despite being favored over Verlander and the Tigers they fell in a limp fifth game thanks to a shitty performance from rookie Ivan Nova and a no show by batters with RISP. Also, Jeter got his 3000th hit on a home run caught by some idiot who hates money. High Point: DJ3k Low Point: Losing game 5 at home.

  • The Packers were a surprising dominant team all year round and even made some scratch for Bagels and Hater J last Super Bowl. Green and Yellow Green and Yellow....

  • The Jets talked a big game and sometimes backed it up but mostly sucked. High Point: Making the AFC championship game last season. Low Point: Almost everything else.

  • The Giants didn't talk quite as much but sucked for much of the year as well, even though they've provided PTU with some of the most exciting games of the year. High point of the year: Eli orchestrating the come back in Dallas 2 weeks ago. Low Point: Desean Jackson's return.

  • Jay-z is finally going to be a father. I'm skeptical that it's not a surrogate since I think Hov may be sterile. C'mon, almost 20 years in the rap game and not one baby mama?


  • Bin Laden, Khodafi and Kim Jong Il all kicked the bucket this year. I don't have a joke about this, but that's pretty impressive.

  • People seem pretty tired of Obama, but the republican candidates run the gamut from stupid to Ron Paul. Even with a win for "Obamacare" and the murder of two malevolent dictators on his watch, Barack took an L this year.

  • Floyd Mayweather continued his buffoonery this year. He spent 2011 avoiding the most anticipated fight that will never happen, sucker punching a nice Mexican, and eventually landing in jail for doing a Jake LaMotta imitation on his girlfriend ("did you fuck my brother??'). All in all, Floyd may have been the jackass of 2011.

  • It wasn't a stellar year for the PTU teams but a couple of PTU's most hated teams lost in miserable fashion in 2011. The Red Sox had one of the more memorable collapses in history and Hater J's most hated team The Miami Heat lost in the finals with PTU whipping boy LeBron James choking in every 4th quarter. It was glorious


  • A rat was found in the Marcy projects that was the size of a small child

  • The NBA lockout resulted in almost 2 months of missed games, and has now forced a condensed season of sloppy basketball on us. Still, any NBA is better than watching hockey.

  • The release of the Jordan XI concords caused rioting and bloodshed throughout the country.

  • Steve Jobs passed away and people wept openly in the streets for weeks. The iphone is really cool, but c'mon now, people.

  • Occupy Wall Street movements swept the nation and protest was never so annoying.

Kim Kardashian was married to mediocre basketball player Kris Humphries for 72 days. He may or may not be gay, but he is somehow now the most hated player in the league. And he still plays for the Nets. Shitty year for that guy.

Some other things happened but that's already old news. This is all that happened last year that really mattered.

Hope everyone enjoyed their new years and have a happy and prosperous 2012. We'll continue to crank out the type of posts you love a few days too late.


  1. I agree with everything on this list but have never listened to the kills.

    You forgot to mention your promotion to Editor in Chief, CEO, and Chairman of PTU. Congrats Johnny B!

    I pledge to step up my posting in 2012.

  2. I also forgot the world series which was pretty good.

  3. Best World Series I've ever watched