Thursday, December 29, 2011

Knicks Vs Lakers Preview

The NBA pre season is almost over and we can finally get to some real hardwood action...what's that you say? This is the season? Yikes. Well, sloppy, low scoring basketball is better than no basketball at all I guess. Even if it does feel like you're watching the best pick up game at McKinley park ever at times. So tonight, I'm still a little excited for the first matchup of the abbreviated season between my first and second favorite teams. And that's not the only first you'll see tonight; it's also the first matchup between Kobe and Carmelo since the trade last February as well as the first time these two teams have matched up where the Knicks might actually be a better team (or at the least have a brighter future) since Nick Van Exel was running the point at the old Forum. What to expect tonight?

Both teams are off to uneven starts albeit in a very small sample size (3 games for the Lakers and 2 for the Knicks). As expected, play has been pretty ragged thus far as the result of the lack of practice and training camps and the compressed schedule, so there's always a chance that these two teams are simply going through what the rest of the league is, but there are big holes in each team's roster. The Knicks were thin to begin with, and since the injuries to the rookie Shumpert and (Thank GOD) Jared Jeffries, they've become even thinner (Chinese fans shouldn't get their hopes up to see Jeremy Lin get off the bench any time soon though, sorry). Meanwhile, the Lakers got nothing in return for their most versatile bench player, Odom, and everyone else is a year older. They've sorely missed the big bully in the middle, Bynum, who will be finishing his suspension tonight, but even when he returns they're still a barely above average team. After melting down against a Chicago team that was shooting 15% at one point in the second half on Christmas, they then proceeded to get blown out by the Sacramento Kings of all teams. Narrowly avoiding disaster by blowing out a truly awful Utah Jazz team on Tuesday in their third game of a back to back to back, the Lakers still have a similar look to the 06-07 Lakers pre Pau that resulted in ridiculous Kobe numbers but not much else. This team is of course more talented than anything that involves Kwame Brown and Smush Parker could be, but Kobe isn't that guy anymore either. I expect a Lakers team that hovers a few games over 500 this season as they struggle to find their identity post Phil Jackson and Kobe struggles to not punch Mike "Al Roker" Brown.

The Knicks, on the other hand, are being touted as some kind of a title contending juggernaut with the acquisition of an injury prone guy who's had one good season as a pro, and that season he averaged 10 points and 10 rebounds. They escaped X-mas with a skin of their teeth win against an elderly, injured Celtics team prompting annoying "KNICKS BACK!" Facebook statuses and tweets. Truthfully, as excited as I am to see the Knicks even in the discussion with the top teams in the East again, their lack of a real backcourt and team chemistry is enough to cause me some concern. Last night's debacle against Golden State was an example of how far they still have to go, as well as how unsightly much of the gameplay will be in this shortened season. As Hater J pointed out during the travesty that was the Jazz and Lakers on Tuesday, amidst a game in which the Jazz missed 20 out of 22 shots in the second quarter yet were only down by 5 points, we were spared a lot of this crappy play in 99, but now thanks to the immense media coverage and league pass, etc., the ugly play is forced down our throats all day and night.

I expect more of the same tonight. An unevenly played game with both teams going through droughts and showing occasional flashes of real basketball interspersed between turnovers and clanked shots. Also, expect to see Kobe curse a lot and make faces at the official and Landry Fields and expec Tyson Chandler to be in foul trouble again. I think these two teams are fairly evenly matched this season, with the Knicks being slightly better than the Lakers sans Bynum, but L.A. being at home coming off a days rest should trump the Knicks who played last night and are obviously still feeling things out.

Lakers by 7.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Jets Vs. Giants Preview

The Jets and Giants are facing off this Christmas Eve and this time it means something. No, seriously, it really means something this time. This is the first time that the rivals are facing each other with the playoffs on the line for either squad since the LT days, and it's the first time I can remember a Giants Jets game ever having this much importance to both teams. For the Giants, this is practically a playoff game, and for the Jets it's not a must win but it's still huge for their playoff hopes. Over the past couple weeks the trash talk has been flying back and forth and it's shaping up to be a good one. Unfortunately, some of the luster has been lost due to the way both teams shit the bed last week but I expect both teams to play much better tomorrow or at least match each other's ineptitudes.

As the awesome cover above illustrates, New York has always been a Giants town. But there's been a slight shift in the past few years as a younger, dumber generation has been quicker to embrace the brash, cocky Rex Ryan image of the Jets over the stodgy, old Giants. Even though the G-men won a Super Bowl just 5 years ago, New Yorkers have short memories and, to be honest, the Giants have sucked over the past few seasons. Starting up great only to fold in the second half has been their M.O. and is beginning to make their amazing run in 07 look like a fluke. They can make the fair weather (and die hard) Jets fan shut the hell up with a big performance tomorrow.

Some thoughts from Hater J and I:

  • The Giants secondary has been consistently terrible all season but that shouldn't matter in this game since Nacho can't throw a pass to save his life. He's only effective out of the play action and the Giants D-Line should rush him into a mistake or knock his ass on the ground.

  • -Hakeem Nicks may be trapped on Revis island all day . That means the battle of the talented retards should be on display. Cromartie isn't all that great and Cruz may burn him. Expect some salsa dancing.

  • Stop calling it Met Life Stadium. It's Giants Stadium, damn it.

  • Rex Ryan is quickly becoming the most annoying person in spo...scratch that in the universe.

  • The shit talk between the two teams is refreshing in a sports world where most intra city rivals act all respectful towards each other. The Yankees and Mets never have a bad word to say about each other, even though their fans detest one another. It's all so boring, and you know behind closed doors David Wright wants to knock Derek Jeter's teeth out with a Louisville Slugger .

  • In a close game- Do you really trust Nick Folk? Didn't think so.

My pick- Giants 24 Jets 17.

Merry Christmas and enjoy the game, everyone!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

PTU Old Man Rant: Why Doesn't This Generation of Kids Root for the Home Team?

Allow me to be old and crotchety for a second here (or older and crotchetyer than usual). If you have any younger cousins or siblings or if you just hang creepily around high schools in your van, you've no doubt noticed that there is an epidemic of misplaced sports allegiances among the youth of America. And I don't mean just frontrunners like we grew up with, the Bulls or 49ers fans who just got their Starter jacket or Jordans because they were the best team at the moment. That's been going on forever. I'm talking kids closely following the Chargers and Nuggets who've never left Brooklyn. Ask any 15 year old what teams they root for and you're likely to hear something like: Patriots, Thunder and Padres. What happened to civic pride anyway?

There's a couple reasons behind this phenomenon. One is the rise of fantasy sports and the focus on individual stars over the team. Even if you don't have a fantasy team you can't really avoid the emphasis that's placed on individual stats partly because of it. ESPN has shows and tickers dedicated to fantasy. The NBA was the first league to really emphasize the individual as star with Jordan, Magic and Bird and the other leagues soon followed suit. It's easy to start liking the Vikings simply because Adrian Peterson is a beast, hometown rivalries be damned. I have a nephew who lives in New Jersey and likes the Nuggets just because they had Carmelo Anthony and continues to root for them still even though Melo plays for a team much closer to home. It seems dumb to me, but it's fairly common place these days.

Individual players aren't the only reason that the kids root for whoever they feel like of course. Another huge factor is the options. Just like Chris Rock once said "A man is only as faithful as his options", a sports fan is only as faithful to his city as his choices as well (or so it seems). Even when a young Bagels was growing up in the 80s and 90s, we didn't have too many teams to choose from. You had one or two games a week on nationally in each sport and then you had your local teams on every night. Almost by default, most people become fans of their city's teams. [As Hater J points out, this is also why there are so many damn Steelers and Cowboys fans around. They were on all the friggin' time back in the day. Also, those people are idiots]. Now, it's different. With League Pass, NFL Ticket, Direct TV, a network for each major sport, twitter, live streaming games online and a million other types of media, you can follow an entire season of any team you damn well choose. Combine that with the fact that most kids don't get their sports info from their local paper or newscast like previous generations, but from a nationally distributed form of media like ESPN and there's no reason for a kid from New York to even keep up with what's happening with the Jets and Giants. Just 10 years ago, it was hard to be a Chargers fan if you lived on the East coast, but today you can rock your Philip Rivers jersey on your couch every week with pride, even if you will no doubt look like a jerkoff.

What it comes down to, really, is the world is getting smaller every day. People are connected (at least technologically if not physically and emotionally) more than ever. I wrote recently about how someone like ASAP Rocky seems like a fraud to me since he's imitating a style of a region that he's never even been to never mind grown up in, but the genesis of a Harlem rapper who sounds like Lil Flip is basically the same as a kid from the Bronx who roots for the Ravens. There's no city to be proud of when we all live in one big region. And now I'm going to get back in my rocking chair and watch the Knicks on MSG while I listen to old Biggie records. You damn kids.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A History Of Washed Up Stars Who Played for The Knicks

The Knicks have officially signed Baron Davis, who will be bringing (along with his ambiguously injured back) some excitement for nostalgic fair weather basketball fans. Everyone loves a big name, and whether or not Baron will be the focused, supremely talented player he was with Golden State and the Hornets, or the overweight malcontent that forced his way out of LA and Cleveland remains to be seen. Logic would lead you to believe that the former would be true, since he's now playing for one of the league's flagship franchises along side some real talent for a change but we won't know for at least a month. However things end up with the player formerly known as B Diddy, one thing is for sure: the Knicks have had tons of washed up former stars suiting up in the orange and blue in recent history. And with the arrival of Baron and possibly gun enthusiast and washed up Agent Zero Gilbert Arenas, there's a chance this list could get much longer in the near future. I've attached their best season stats to prove that they were at one point stars along with the numbers they put up in New York. When reading the Knicks stats, I'd advise you to think of this sound.

Glen Rice Career High PPG: 26.8 2000-01 with NYK: PPG:12.0

Holding the dubious distinction of being the player who Patrick Ewing was traded for may have been the sharp shooting Rice's claim to fame. That is until this summer's revelations that he had carried on an affair with a young Sarah Palin. Glen struggled in New York for a season before being shipped off to never be heard from again. He not only took Patrick's spot on the roster, but apparently his knees as well, creaking up and down the court.

Vin Baker Career High PPG: 21.1 RPG: 10.3 2004-05 with NYK: PPG:7 RPG: 3

Vin is an iffy one to put on this list since he had already fallen off long before he came here, and he played for the Knicks right before booze and laziness derailed his career. By the time he was with the Celtics, he was already getting booed every time he stepped on the court. So when he came to the Knicks he wasn't expected to be a returning local kid done good, or a conquering hero but was just supposed to be a solid enough veteran to grab some boards and provide a bit of an inside presence. He failed on both accounts and is now mostly forgotten.

Penny Hardaway Career High PPG: 21 APG:7 06-07 with NYK: PPG: 6 APG: 2.5

As I've discussed many times on this here blog, Penny Hardaway was a childhood hero of mine as well as the spokesperson for some of the greatest perp shoes ever. He had everything: scoring ability, ridiculous hops, slick passing, a puppet named after him. Of course, when he came to the Knicks he had none of those things. It was as hard to watch him limp around the court shooting stand still jumpers as it was to watch the Knicks get swept off the court by the Nets (ugh) in 04. By the way, that team was led by none other than......

Stephon Marbury: Numbers don't tell the story

We should have saw this coming. Starbury's first game as a Knick was as hyped as any game this side of MJ's 55 pt. return in 95. In front of a national TV audience, the Knicks fell behind by 20 in the first quarter and lost by 30 to Jeff Van Gundy's Rockets. A sign of things to come as there would be much, MUCH more losing as the Marbury era progressed. Bottle's favorite player of all time and son of Coney Island could have been one of the most popular players to ever suit up in the orange and blue. Past homegrown players such as Mark Jackson, Bernard King and Anthony Mason were all popular players with the 'bockers but what should have been a homecoming for Steph, playing in the same building where he won a city championship, so heartwarming that it would have had Lupica jerking off from press row, was instead the ugliest era in Knicks basketball. One that ended with Marbury unable to get off the bench under D'Antoni and is probably best remembered for sexual harassment accusations rather than playoff wins.

Steve Francis: Career High PPG: 21 APG: 7 With NYK: PPG: 10.5 APG: 3

Oh God, Steve Francis. What a colossal fuck up by one of the biggest fuck ups in sports management history. Everyone and their mother (really, my mother was a big Francis fan and she knew he was a bum at this point) could tell you that this was a bad move. But ol' Zeke never met a big name whose legacy he didn't want to ruin.

Dikembe Mutombo: Career High PPG: 16.6 (in his rookie season!) BPG: 4.5 03-04 with NYK: PPG: 5.6 BPG:1.9

You may be noticing a trend in the years listed. 04-07 were especially dark days. Dikembe was never a big time scorer, even in his best seasons with Denver, Atlanta and Philly, but one thing he could always do was block shots and wave his big ol' E.T. finger in the face of his victims (and then later in the direction of the crowd when the league ruled that it was taunting). NO MAN FLY IN THE HOUSE OF MUTOMBO! Unfortunately, the house of Mutombo was more of a split level condo on Bleeker Street by the time he got here.

Antonio McDyess: Career High PPG: 21.2 RPG: 12.1 2003-04 with NYK: PPG: 8.4 RPG: 6.6

The recently retired McDyess is another controversial choice. On the one hand, he was way past his prime and riddled with injuries his entire stay in New York. On the other, he had some very solid years in San Antonio and Detroit as a role player on those elite teams after his tenure in New York. Nevertheless, McDyess's Knick career was so nonexistent (and expectations for him so high after the Knicks traded Marcus Camby for him) that he belongs on this list of big name wash outs. Despite his face up there, he didn't do much laughing and smiling in his Knicks career.

Jalen Rose: Career High PPG: 21.2 APG: 6.2 2005-06 with NYK: PPG: 12.7 APG: 2.6

Yeah, he played for the Knicks too. PTU Keeping it Real Hero and drunk driver Rose was one of the many terrible moves during Isiah's reign of terror. Jalen came into the league as the Point Guard for the Fab 5. A swaggering tall PG in the Magic mold, and was a very solid player for a number of years with Denver and the Pacers team that made the Finals in 2000. Unfortunately, by the time he made it to New York he was yet another faded star to add to the list.

Tracy McGrady: Career High PPG: 32.1 APG; 6.5 2009-10 with NYK: PPG: 9.4 APG:3.9

Most knowledgable basketball fans (as Knicks fans pride themselves on being) were not overly excited at the idea of the hobbling T Mac coming over in a trading deadline move a couple seasons back. Alas, even the most intelligent fan base in professional basketball is no match for nostalgia. Not to mention Knicks fans were starving for anything positive at the Garden like Johnny Bagels is starving for sweet and sour chicken on most weekends. So, Knicks fans got all goofy and cheered McGrady on in his one good game at the Garden after the trade. He broke 20 points and almost led them to a win if not for a Durant game tying 3 in the 4th quarter, but soon after that it was clear that this wasn't the same guy who scored 60 in a game with the Magic, or scored 15 points in 45 seconds or whatever it was with the Rockets, but was just another injured former star winding down his career at the World's most famous arena.

And there's many more crappy players who may have had good years elsewhere but stunk it up for the Knicks through out the years.Here's hoping that Davis (and maybe Arenas) can keep themselves off the next list. Add up those names up there, though, and you have a veritable dream team. That is, when they were in their prime, healthy and dynamic athletes who had no idea they'd one day be relegated to the scrap heap of fallen stars at Madison Square Garden.

Monday, December 19, 2011

The PTU 2011-2012 NBA PREVIEW

Basketball is back on again, and so it's time for the PTU NBA Preview for 2011 - 2012, aka the Year of Kemba. Lets start with the Eastern Conference:

With a healthy Haslem and the addition of Battier (and possibly Arenas?), the Heat will totally dominate the Eastern Conference, easily securing the #1 seed, while looking even stronger than last year. The other decent East Coast teams - the Bulls, the Celtics, the Hawks, etc. - will all be taken out in the first two rounds of the playoffs, making way for a Heat - Knicks Eastern Conference Finals match-up. Heat in 6.

In the West, the Lakers will lose early in the playoffs after failing to trade for Dwight Howard. The Grizzlies and the Mavs will look good going into the playoffs, but ultimately the Thunder will take the West behind the 2011-2012 MVP Kevin Durant. As for the Clippers, in case anyone is wondering, they will lose on the road in the first round of the playoffs.

Heat over the Thunder in 6. Lebron-haters cry themselves to sleep.

MVP: Durant.
Rookie of the Year: Derrick Williams (Kemba lets him win).

That Stupid Lexus Commercial is Ruining Christmas

Christmas is a wonderful (if somewhat stressful) time for everyone. Even Jews enjoy the birth of Christ as it affords them valuable movie marathons at the local Multiplex as us ignorant, Christians awkwardly try on our sweaters and eat turkey and whatnot. But there is a real war on Christmas, an assault on the true spirit of our holiest day. That is those awful Lexus "December to Remember" commercials.

There's so much to hate about this ad campaign. Firstly, it's just one douchebag after another giving their douchey spouse a luxury car with a big bow on it (a douchey bow I might add). Who can relate to this? I'm no supporter of OWS, but this commercial makes me want to pitch a tent in the nearest publicly funded park on Wall Street, and start eating cans of spaghetti o's in a drum circle. It's simple hate, but it feels so right to hate these idiots. The economy is going to hell, every day there's a new story on the nightly news proclaiming 90% of the country lives below the poverty line and is now eating urinal cakes for nourishment, millions of young adults are moving back in with Mom and Dad, Russia has a Satan missile and these fools are giving Lexuses to each other like they're Harry and David fruit baskets.

I wouldn't even hate on the ads if the execution was slightly less annoying. Each ad unspools in the same horrific manner: some type of annoying couple is going about their daily routine; getting ready for a night on the town, playing a generic version of Rock Band with the kids or something when they're alerted to a special gift lurking outside their home/condo. Unfortunately for us it's not a Satan missile, but a Lexus with a big bow on it. I understand that there is a world out there where people buy each other's cars for Xmas but it doesn't seem like this is relatable for much of America. And the way they cutely reveal the gift is gag inducing. These technological wizards somehow program their building's elevator or a video game to play that annoying Lexus December to Remember theme song. I suppose if you have the disposable income to lavish a 50 thousand dollar car on your loved ones you can also rig the elevator in your condo or pay somebody to reprogram your video games. And about that song, the whole premise of the ads rely on the gift recipient instantly recognizing that song as the "Lexus" song. I could hear that a million times and not associate it with Lexus. It sounds like a basic Holiday type song. But now I'll instantly associate that tune with douchey rich assholes who take over my tv during every time out of every NFL game and remind me of how much worse my life is since I'm sweating over buying an Ipad! Bah Humbug and go to Hell, Lexus!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Top 5 Steve Buscemi Roles; Happy Birthday, Steve Buscemi you Ugly Bastard

Steve Buscemi has had an odd career (one that he spoofed in his SNL hosting duties last week) that has seen him go from dog featured comedic actor in small roles in your favorite quirky comedies and indie films to full on Cable star. From Trees Lounge to Ghost World to almost every Adam Sandler comedy ever, the one time fire fighter from Brooklyn has played quite a few characters in his day. Some of them creepy, some funny, all very, very ugly. But we're not here to talk about Steve's looks. In honor of Steve's birthday, let's take a look at Johnny Bagel's 5 favorite Buscemi roles. Despite the critical acclaim and overall awesomeness of Boardwalk Empire, Buscemi's Nucky Thompson really isn't all that great of a character so he didn't make the top 5.

5) Tony Blundetto in The Sopranos

Buscemi had already been with The Sopranos for some time in a writing and directing capacity when he made his first appearance in front of the camera as Tony's recently released from prison cousin, Tony (he was Tony "Uncle Al" while T.S. was Tony "Uncle Johnny"). If the sight of Gandolfini and Buscemi next to each other seemed strange at first (never mind that they were somehow related), his performance as Tony B. quickly put those thoughts to rest. Able to play an ex-con trying to go straight while still hanging out with Tony and the gang in the back of Satriale's, Buscemi played a believable knock around guy with his trademark quirkiness still intact. His quick descent from luckiest man in the world to lying on Uncle Pat's porch with half of his face shot off at the hand of his cousin was one of the stand out story arcs of The Soprano's 6 and a half seasons (as you can see above sans Van Morrison).

4) Donny in The Big Lebowski

The Big Lebowski is one of the best loved movies to involve bowling, nihilists played by Red Hot Chili Pepper's bassists and Steve Buscemi. Steve doesn't have too much to do in this one as the bowling loving, always out of the loop Donny, but his character does have the most memorable eulogy scene in film history (even if he doesn't appear in it).

3) Tommy in Trees Lounge

Buscemi's directorial debut features loads of familiar faces from the Sopranos and Goodfellas (the casting director would later work for Sopranos), yet despite the presence of the usual goombah actors (including a very good pre Artie Bucco John Ventimiglia), Trees Lounge is the lighter side of being a loser in Staten Island. This was the role Buscemi was born to play, an annoying, alcoholic loser who you actually end up rooting for. Although living above a bar doesn't seem all that bad.

2) Carl Showalter in Fargo

Buscemi might not be the DeNiro to the Cohen Brother's Scorsese (a couple different actors would probably fight over that title) but he was definitely a favorite of theirs during the 90s. While dweeby and awkward, Buscemi plays a dirtbag better than almost anyone this side of Mickey Rourke. And in the Cohen Bros's Oscar winning crime flick, he plays a particularly obnoxious dirtbag named Carl. Fargo's plot was the same as 98% of the other Cohen Bros. films; shlubby guy at the end of his rope comes up with a plan to make a quick buck (which usually involves a staged kidnapping) only for miscommunication and general incompetence to mess everything up. In this case, Buscemi steals the show as the loudmouth would-be kidnapper who eventually meets the wrong end of a wood chipper. "You should see the other guy" is a classic line when delivered by Buscemi after just being shot in the throat. This film also saw the screen debut of former Miami Heat Center Zydrunas Ilgauskas.

1)Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs

The film that probably introduced most people to Buscemi as something other than the guy who had one or two lines in a handful of films like King of New York or Martin Scorsese's portion of New York Stories or some other movies that didn't have New York in the title at all. Mr. Pink is Buscemi at his best. Playing a crook who doesn't know that his jewel thief partner is actually 5-0, Buscemi proves there's no honor amongst thieves. While the other guys are definitely bad asses and/or sick fucks, Mr. Pink acts as weaselish as he looks. Watching him in this now, you remember why Nucky Thompson is rather boring; Buscemi's at his best when he's a slippery, snake like small time crook not a stately, composed crime boss. The few scenes that Nucky loses it have been some of the more memorable moments of Boardwalk's first 2 seasons, but he's in his glory in Tarantino's debut. Why do they call him Mr. Pink? "Because you're a faggot, all right?!"

Honorable Mentions:

Psycho in Con Air, Creepy guy in Mr. Deeds and Nucky Thompson on Boardwalk Empire.

Happy Birthday, Steve!

Monday, December 5, 2011

PTU Classics: Happy Birthday Eddy Curry, You Fat Bastard

Eddy Curry
In honor of overweight slob, former Knick and all around waste of life Eddy Curry's 29th consecutive year wasting precious oxygen that could have gone to productive members of society, we present a PTU classic.

Where to start with Fat Ed? How about the fact that he was a walking embodiment of the Isiah Thomas era? A fat, sweaty, lazy, walking (he never really ran any where very hard) symbol of the overpaid, underperforming yet talented players that the snake loved so much. If Marbury was the face of the spoiled, underachieving Isiah era then Eddy was the constant reminder of Zeke's incompetence as team president wearing an expensive suit at the end of the bench every night for the past 4 years.

Going straight to the pros from Thornwood high in Illinois, Curry was the 4th pick of his hometown Bulls. Everyone could see he was ridiculously talented but he had a possible congenital heart defect that gave the team pause. No one would want to give the guy an extended contract because of it.... Except Isiah who promptly traded every draft pick the Knicks had for the next 20 years for the round mound of no rebounds, along with some other bums, sinking the Knicks into salary cap hell before Donnie Walsh eventually cleaned things up. Unsurprisingly, Eddy showed flashes of what he could be, occasionally putting up huge scoring numbers (although he makes Amare look like Moses Malone on the glass), but would eventually derail his career by repeatedly showing up to training camps out of shape. When you're a professional athlete who runs up and down a court for a living and are given the best trainers and personal chefs money can buy, how much of a fat slob must you be to continue to gain weight?

All of this is enough to land you in the PTU dog house for life, so we won't dwell on the alleged "gay sexual harassment" suit. Let's just say "Come and touch it, Dave" are words that will go down in Knicks history along with "Are you gonna get in the truck?". Dark days.

Welcome to the dog house, Eddy. You fat fuck.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Snoot's Tebow Excuse of the Week

With Orton as their QB, the Broncos were 1-4 with a slim-to-none chance of making the playoffs. Since then, with Tebow as their starter, the Broncos have gone 6-1, locking them into a tie for first place in their division. Today Tebow led yet another game-winning 4th quarter drive, and threw for a career-high 202 yards, with two second-half touch downs. What will it take to convince all of PTU that he deserves credit for his team's success?

Some of Snoot's past excuses include:

- "wins don't mean much in the NFL"
- "it was too humid"
- "they didn't cut the grass low enough"
- "the stadium ran out of hot dogs"

Please check the comments section for Snoot's response.

What will it be this time?

The Greatest Perp Shoes of All Time

Almost everything is debatable when it comes to rankings. Who's the best baseball team of all time? What's the best restaurant in New York? Greatest movie of all time? Only two things are absolutely number one on everyone's list, regardless of age, race or occupation. One is the undisputed greatest sneaker of all time. Ask any sneaker head worth a damn and they'll tell you it's the Black and Elephant print Jordan 3's, which were rereleased this past Black Friday to ridiculously long lines and immediately sold out everywhere from Foot Locker to Nike Town to wherever else perp shoes are sold. What makes these Jordans so great? I mean, look at them. They are certainly striking upon first glance, and would be so even if they came out tomorrow. Now picture being a sneaker consumer in 1988. MJ was still 3 years away from winning a championship and in some circles had a reputation similar to LeBron James (who was around 4 when these came out), that is a high scoring athletic beast who had yet to prove himself as a leader on the court who could lead his team to a title. Most sneakers at the time ran the gamut from boring to plain. Look at the Jordan 2s and how simple they were. Then BAM. Elephant print! On a sneaker. Along with the red accents to match the Bulls colors and the grey tongue, these sneakers were like nothing anyone had ever seen before. The first design from famed Nike and Jordan designer Tinker Hatfield (with a name like that could that guy do anything besides design Air Jordans?), the Jordan 3s were risky but so fresh looking,For the next 20 years they would be worn by everyone from the Fresh Prince to Basquiat, from Bushwick hipsters to Brownsville crack dealers, these may be the sleekest looking sneakers ever invented. They were released at the time in 3 different color ways and have since been rereleased in all types of funky color combos, but the black and elephant remains the gold standard.

The second thing that everyone can agree on is best flavor potato chip.It's barbecue.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

My Two Cents on Tebow

I like what John Fox and the Denver Broncos are doing with Tim Tebow. People say that Tebow has nothing to do with the resurgence of their defense but I disagree he is part of a system that helps the defense. A smash mouth football offense leads to increased time of position which keeps Denver's defense off the field and rested. Also the Broncos are playing a style of offense that cuts off the field for the opposing teams, most of the Broncos' opponents when they score a touchdown have to go 70-80 yards every time. This aided by limiting passing attempts and hence limiting the opportunity for INTS. (In short Broncos' opponents don't get to score easy touchdowns). I don't think you can plug in any QB into a system like this, you need a disciplined, fast, smart, tough QB and Tebow is your man(Other Qbs like Vick are faster but not as tough, just ask his ribs). The Broncos had another system in place in the beginning of the season with Orton and it lead to a record of 1-4. Also Tebow averages 5 yards a rushing attempt (Two rushing attempts equal a first down)

Also Running the ball wins games more often than passing.

That statement is true; since 1995, in fact, teams have won 84 percent of the time when one running back has 30 attempts, but they’ve won just 28 percent when their quarterback has 40 attempts. This is even backed up by the correlations of pass and rush attempts to winning.(Tebow is for all purposes is a running back and I count the running backs as one collective group) I am on the John Fox band wagon not because Tebow has some mystical powers that turns loses into wins but because John Fox is using a system that his entire team can thrive in and his offense is not cookie cutter, I can only take so many back shoulder throws in the NFL.

In closing if I were to assign a percentage as to who is responsible for the Broncos winning, it would be something like this Tebow = 35% John Fox and his Game plan including Defense =65%