LeBron James: Not Who We Thought He Was?

June 7th will forever be known as a national day of mourning for haters everywhere. Fly your "LeBron sucks" shirts at half staff, and let's have a moment of silence for Skip Bayless, who's trying so gosh darn hard to still be the supreme hater. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Similarly to how a 2010 NBA Finals game 7 can make Kobe worshippers like myself question the guys "clutchness", 2012 ECF game 6 just messed up every LeBron haters' game. He didn't just have a good game in one of the biggest contests of his career. He absolutely DOMINATED the Celtics. 45, 15 and 5. 30 in the first half when he tore the Celtics and their fans' hearts out. And these weren't garbage time stat padding points he put up. In fact, in garbage time he was content to pass, mostly, and then sat with 3 minutes left and a comfortable Heat lead. Every time the Celtics sniffed a comeback he hit another tough jumper in a Celtic face. And he kept hitting jumpers all night. This wasn't the LeBron that picked up garbage baskets off layups and free throws off dubious foul calls. He didn't even take that many threes. It was 20 footer after 20 footer, 19 out of 27 shots to be exact, with a few free throws tossed in for good measure. Everyone knows we've been as merciless in our ridicule of the "King" and his vagina since the inception of this little blog, but I have to give him props for coming through the way he did. All a hater can hope for is a return to normalcy tomorrow night in Miami, so we can all get back to making fun of this guy. Usually after a unconscious offensive game like last night, a player will come back to Earth the following game. Heat fans might wish that he had done this one game later. After all, I've been suckered into thinking the haters were dead before.

ESPN's NBA Countdown Crew Is The Worst

Despite the ugly play, thuggish players, and general bad feelings that it tends to generate, PTU loves the NBA. We can't get enough. Unfortunately, that means we also have to sit through the television equivalent of the special ed class putting on a school play. ESPN's game analysts and play by play guys are just ok. Van Gundy kisses LeBron's ass like he's Maverick Carter, and Doris Burke's husky tones are a little off putting, but for the most part none of them are Tom Tolbert annoying. But if you stick around after the second quarter buzzer or decide to check out what's going on in the locker rooms pre game, you're in for a train wreck of epic proportions. Whose idea was it to not have any people with actual television experience host this garbage? Stuart Scott pops up for the Finals coverage ("oh yeah this one guy you might have heard of, uh, his name is LeBron James. Kid might be a decent player one day") but up until then you get this cast of characters:

• Magic Johnson: Hall of famer who probably can't spell HIV






• Michael Wilbon: Annoying Chicago journalist who is only tolerable on PTI because he's paired up with a whiny, loudmouth Jewish Stephen A Smith.






• Jon Barry: A guy whose broadcasting abilities pale in comparison to his storied athletic career






• Chris Broussard: An albino shit-head with a lot of "sources" but the analysis abilities of a 4th grade girl.

These guys usually throw around some bullshit analysis like "Dwyane Wade and LeBron James are the best duo in the open court" or "These Celtics know how to win" or something similarly boring. Their constant star sucking off is annoying but things really take a turn for the worse when these clowns try to narrate highlights. Hoo boy, is this a hoot. Listening to Magic Johnson trying to read off a teleprompter while trying to sound natural is something to behold. You can practically smell his brain beginning to explode with each attempt to pronounce "Sefolosha". Actually just the words "free throw" sound like he's reading Chinese for the first time. The aforementioned Wilbon gives his Lupica lite moralizing, all the while retaining his Chicago homer card, and Jon Barry takes every chance he can get to criticize the stars who are much, much, much better players than he ever was. His brother Brent does a less annoying job in the minor leagues on NBA TV. Then you have Chris Broussard. At some point ESPN decided to just give any guy who's ever written a column on ESPN.com their own position in front of the camera, if not their own half hour show. The Sports Reporters was one thing, but now we're forced to watch idiots who were print journalists for a reason moving their mouths on television. I never thought I'd miss Stuart Scott's faux ghetto Drake quoting and corny jokes but at least he can read a teleprompter. Broussard serves one purpose at the Worldwide leader, and that's reading text messages he recieves from free agent players' agents. Why is he pretending to be a basketball expert? The Inside the NBA crew might be goofy but at least TNT's guys make sense sometimes and they have the one professional in Ernie Johnson to keep the peace. Somebody please get Trey Wingo on the phone or someone. Watching this is almost as tortuous as having to pick between Boston and Miami to win the East.

Western Conference Finals Preview: These Aren't your Father's Spurs

The NBA playoffs have been slogging along, and while we may have had a severe lack of drama, buzzer beaters, exciting offense, and generally competent basketball we have had a lot of....defense? I guess. Well, if you're still watching hoops this Spring and haven't instead started watching hockey or Storage Wars or something, we should be gearing up for a decent conference finals. Other than the 8th seeded Sixers lucking into a second round matchup with the elderly Celtics, things have gone boringly according to plan. Last year, the Mavericks surprised everyone by stomping through the playoffs and the Grizzlies were an even more surprising 8th seed, but this year everything's gone according to plan. Thankfully for us, though, that means the 4 best remaining teams in the East and West will most likely be battling it out in the league's Final Four, as it should always be really.

The Spurs and Thunder don't tip off until Sunday, but I can tell you now that this will be the best series of the 2012 playoffs thus far. And that's weird for me to say since I've been conditioned to thoroughly hate and be bored by every San Antonio Spurs playoff series since Tim Duncan was drafted (with the exception of the 99 Finals since I was far too invested to be bored). The Spurs are boring is a trope of the playoffs as ingrained as "a series doesn't start until a home team loses" or "the winner of game 1 always wins the series" or "That new show on TBS is going to blow". But now the Spurs are actually a high scoring team, and almost fun to watch. Poppovich continues to prove his COTY worthiness by getting guys like Kawhi Leonard, Danny Green and even Stephen Jackson to play winning ball. I'm not as in love with them as Bill Simmons but I wouldn't be surprised if they win the whole damn thing this year.

The Thunder, on the other hand, are no surprise to anyone. I think we all knew they would be a great team and fun to watch by now. They have probably the best player in the league, a dynamic point/shooting guard, the best bench player, maybe the best defender. They're stacked. The Lakers learned this last series, losing in a quick 5 games (although 2 of those were choked away by L.A.) but the Spurs should be a tougher challenge for the ThunderS. The matchups here are mostly favorable towards OKC, you would think, but the ThunderS have shown they can occasionally go through jump shooting droughts and Westbrook is liable to throw up a JR Smith like shooting outing at any time. The Spurs are disciplined veterans who never lose their cool. Will the freakish athleticism and college like crowd push OKC to a series victory? I say yes. As great as the Spurs are playing, I think this is Durant's turn this year and the young legs of the Thunders will carry them to victory over the old Spurs, regardless of how much their style of play has been beautified. It will be close, hard fought, and compelling, full of clutch shots and precision offense. Basically the opposite of what we've seen from the 2012 playoffs. So enjoy it, America. After 2 rounds of the Sixers, Pacers, Grizzlies, missed shots and scores in the 70s, You've earned it.

Thunders in 7.

Knicks 2012 Year In Review: The Craziest Season Ever

Well, that was certainly something else. Now that we have a chance to catch our breath and reflect a little on this clusterfuck of an abbreviated Knicks season, it really sinks in just how crazy it all was. Every season in New York is wild, but I've never seen one that was basically four mini seasons. These past two seasons are the first seasons that the Knicks were competitive during the era of the social networks, and every game took on almost an NFL Sunday type "every game counts" feeling, heightened by the condensed schedule. Let's look back at this season month by month.

November


The NBA lockout mercifully comes to an end thanksgiving weekend, much to the delight of myself and millions of black people. A short training camp and really short preseason is announced.

Fan base- Mildly excited

December

The Knicks win an up and down Christmas matinee at home against the Paul Pierceless Celtics. Carmelo almost singlehandedly brings the team back and hits the game winning free throws on a questionable call. I give up on the team during a third quarter run by the Celtics and play Xbox. Iman Shumpert tweaks his knee in a harbinger of things to come.

Fanbase- excited.

January

The Knicks limp to a listless, miserable start characterized by awful back to back home losses to the Raptors and the Bobcats (who would eventually go on to have the worst winning percentage in NBA history). Mid-month, the Knicks decide not to release seldom used point guard Jeremy Lin. The Harvard grad Asian-American plays a few productive minutes in a loss at Houston. He'll be heard from again.

Fanbase- near suicidal

February

Lin plays a couple unproductive minutes in a loss at Boston. The next night (the third of a back to back to back) Mike D'Antoni grasping at straws decides to give Lin a shot. Hey, nothing else has worked to this point. He immediately takes over the Garden with an array of three point plays and jumpers. Someone should come up with a hashtag for this phenomenon. Two days later, lightning strikes again as Lin dominates Devin Harris and the Jazz, including a ridiculous three point buzzer beater and the Knicks win despite Carmelo pulling up lame on an alley oop pass. And so Linsanity is born. Before it's over, the Knicks will win 6 games in a row (including a Friday night game against Kobe), Mike D'Antoni's job is saved (for now), Amare's brother will die, Amar'e will tattoo a tear drop, everyone will think Carmelo is the worst thing since AIDS, an ESPN headline writer will be fired and the NBA has about 2 billion more fans. Boneheaded perp JR Smith will sign with the team after he is released from China and immediately becomes a more erratic, dumber John Starks. Little used journey man Steve Novak also becomes a fan favorite. The players go from reviled by the fans to beloved. Even Jared Jeffries gets routinely cheered by the Garden crowd. On February 20th, Carmelo returns and the Knicks predictably lay an egg at home against a fired up Deron Williams. The Knicks will then go on to alternate wins and losses for the last week of the season. Change is coming again....

Fanbase- Deliriously excited and exhausted. Also a little confused.

March

The Knicks lose 7 in a row. Knicks fans and the media want blood. Carmelo Anthony is fingered as the culprit for the death of Linsanity. His boogie woogie style and negro gyrating and isolation plays have sapped the joy out of the world's most famous arena. After another loss to the Bulls, D'Antoni resigns. Knicks fans rejoice and in Mike Woodson's first game the Knicks beat the even more dysfunctional Blazers by a million points. Woodsanity is born. Lin hurts his knee in a blowout win against the Pistons, the severity of which would be of some controversy. At first, it was said to only be a strain that would cost him a couple games. But, before a Saturday night game against the Cavs, the team announces that Lin will have surgery and will most likely be out for the season. The timing of this announcement is a little fishy, as it came right after the deadline for season tickets to be purchased. Hmm. Anyway, the Knicks go on to win 10 of their first 12 under Woodson to finish the month with a winning record despite another injury suffered by Amar'e.

Fanbase- Back to delirious excitement

April

The Knickerbockers kick off the month by blowing a huge lead at Indiana. Panic begins to set in amongst the fan base. The panic is tempered by a dominating win at the dysfunctional Magic, followed by the game of year. Melo scores 41 against the Bulls, including the game tying and winning three pointers. Three night later, the Knicks beat the annoying Bucks in what was up to that point the biggest game of the season. Amar'e returns in a game against Cleveland and the Knicks promptly get blown out by the terrible Cavs (a game that would come back to haunt them). Electing not to rest his players and tank the season, Woodson leads the Knicks to a 36-30 record. One game better than the 8th spot, and one worse than the 6th. This means that if the Knicks had lost one of those games during the Linsanity or Woodsanity streak that they usually wouldn't have won, or won the stupid game at Cleveland or vs Toronto, Charlotte or New Orleans, they would have faced either the hurting Bulls or mediocre Pacers. Instead, they end up with the worst possible matchup- the hated Miami Heat.

Fan Base- Cautiously Optimistic

May

The Knicks have a disastrous first game in Miami. They're dominated in nearly every facet of the game, Melo sucks, Shumpert tears his ACL and LeBron acts like a bitch. The second game is better, but they still lose by double figures. Amar'e open hands the glass case holding a fire extinguisher, injuring his hand and creating a lot of funny photoshops. PTU creates a new column in his honor. Tyson Chandler is named defensive player of the year. Hater J and Johnny Bagels grossly overpay for two tickets to game 3 at the Garden in hopes of seeing one of the all time great moments of glorious New York sports history, but instead witness the Knicks fall behind 3-0. To make matters worse, they sit in front of the world's most annoying Miami Heat fan (and that's saying something). The Knicks bounce back in game 4, behind a gutsy performance from Stoudemire and some big shots from Carmelo, breaking their 11 year drought. Baron Davis endures one of the most gruesome knee injuries in history. It all ends Wednesday night in Miami, however, as the Knicks go quietly into the night.

Fan base- frustrated, yet strangely content.

In summary, that's two coaches, 4 starting point guards, a bonafide worldwide phenomenon, Melo booed, the defensive player of the year, Novakane, Melo cheered, fire extinguishers, aaaaashooole, and finally defeat. The craziest, most up and down season in Knicks history.

Knicks Finally End the Losing Streak

The nightmare is finally over. The Knicks have broken their ridiculous playoff win drought and have also avoided being swept for the second straight season. Yes, they're only delaying the inevitable but not even rooting for your team because you "know" they're going to lose is for pussies and Jets fans. For one day the Knicks can say they are winners thanks to dominating play by Carmelo and surprisingly effective play by that dumbass Amar'e, (who I now take back everything I've ever said about). It almost ended as one of the most heartbreaking losses in Knicks history, and would have made Amar'e and in particular Carmelo the goat instead of the GOAT that he wants to be, but thankfully D Wade's rushed three pointer was off the mark. So what does this mean for the franchise? Nothing and everything. It means almost nothing as to the series outcome. I fully expect the Heat to slam the door shut in Miami on Wednesday, but it means a whole lot for the franchise and it's players. As sad as it sounds for the expectations of the fans and the front office, one win means Mike Woodson will almost certainly be given the full time gig, it means Amar'e's reputation will probably survive the "extinguisher" with a solid, gutsy performance. So will Carmelo's reputation (barring a complete no show in the next game). If Wade's shot goes in, we'd all be talking about his 1 out of 3 from the line in the last minute rather than his 41 points that saved the season.

Most of all, though, one win means Knicks fans finally got to see a playoff win for the first time since before LeBron had his prom, before Blacky had lost his virginity, even before Facebook existed. Shit, Myspace wasn't even a thing yet. In the grand scheme of the NBA playoffs, one measly victory means almost nothing. But we beleaguered Knicks fans will take whatever we can get, until this series ends and we can go back to being complaining, miserable human beings again. Before, the only bright spot of this week had been shouting "AAAAAASHOOOOOLLEEE" at the top of our lungs at LeBron. It's been 11 years since Sprewell, Camby, Childs and the rest won a game. That's 11 years of Marbury, Isiah, Curry, and an army of sucky players sapped the energy from the fan base. That's the difference between lost in 5, and being swept on your own homecourt. One win is enough for now.

A Defense for Amare Stoudemire

I have heard about Stoudemire's Dumb Foolery all day and it just got me thinking. He was trying to send a message to his team. The Knicks are down 2-0 to the defending eastern conference champs and as a captain he only took 9 shoots. NINE shots, compared to Mello's 26. I understand that Mello is our best player, but the Knicks need balance on offense and defense. The Heat have 3 amazing players who also play defense, but if they only have to focus on Mello , then its an EMERGENCY! I think this is the point Stoudemire was trying to make by breaking the glass on a fire extinguisher, granted not all went according to plan, the point he tried to get across made him look like a Dumbass, but that is how the media is spinning it. I bet before he smashed that glass he was hooting and hollering about the urgency his team needs now, not in game 4.

Amare I know what you were trying to do, I forgive you and I know the statement you made in that locker room will show in the Knicks next game.

Knicks 90- Heat 89

See you at the garden.

NY Dumbass Hall of Fame: Amar'e Stoudemire

Today's as good a day as any to introduce a new feature at PTU: the New York Dumbass Hall of Fame. New York sports has seen some truly stupid athletes throughout the years, from John Starks to Plaxico to the Mets, but we have to begin with our inaugural inductee: Amar'e "Glass Joe" Stoudemire. As everyone's heard, he followed up last night's invisible performance vs Miami with one of the more idiotic moves in sports history, punching the glass case to a fire extinguisher out of frustration and possibly ending his season. That's next level stupidity, some real Kevin Brown type shit. Does this mean the Knicks season is over? It was probably over already anyway, and it's been proven that Carmelo plays better when Amar'e's not around, so I'm not shedding any tears for his loss. Our 100 million dollar man, however, has now proven that not only does he have a weak body, but his brain is also made out of pudding. Figures that one time the Knicks put up some fight in this series, it's against a fire extinguisher. I actually liked Amar'e last season; he put the team on his back (and in the process probably ran himself into the ground) and brought life back to the Garden for the first time in seemingly ages, but since the arrival of Melo he's been at best a less than complimentary player and at worst an outright liability on the court. There's been thesises written about why Amar'e can't play defense or grab rebounds. Is it because he played for D'Antoni for so long? Did he put on too much muscle? Is it the off the court distractions? Maybe Amar'e just suc'ks at defense. Maybe he's just la'zy. And we all know that he is definitely stu'pid. His corn rows must have been wound too tight, cutting off whatever oxygen he had going to that pea brain of his. And now he's done for the season most likely, but at least we know that he is capable of hitting the glass.

Amar'e, welcome to the PTU NY Dumbass Hall of Fame.

NBA Playoff Preview

The abbreviated NBA regular season has come to a close, and after a sloppy start, it's been a pretty good one. The 16 teams qualified for postseason play are all above .500 (even in the Eastern conference), the rugged play has leveled off to mostly quality basketball and there is really no clear cut favorite to win it all. Call it parity or simply a watered down league, but there are at least 5 teams with a legitimate shot at the title. There are also subplots aplenty this go round: Can Dirk's Mavs regain their championship form or will the Thunder get their revenge? How will LeBron react in crunch time and will Kobe have enough juice left in his German engineered knees for a title run? Will anyone watch the Magic Pacers series? Lots of questions will be answered over the next 4 months or however long it takes to play these games. Let's get down to the matchups.

Eastern Conference:
1)Bulls vs 8) Sixers

For the second year in a row the Bulls are saddled with the opening game time slot the NBA relegates to the Sixers every year. Aside from Derrick Rose (the NBA's number one jersey seller) this series is seriously lacking in star power. Nevertheless, the games must be played so we can set up a rematch of last year's ECF. These are the 1st and 2nd ranked defenses in the league respectively so on top of the boring lack of stars, expect really low scoring games. Despite their epic fall off after an easy early schedule, I think the Sixers are good enough to get a game or two off the Bulls, but that's about it. Bulls in 5

2)Heat vs 7)Knicks




Now this is more like it. This series has it all. Superstars, a historic rivalry, the Heat trying to atone for last year's collapse in the Finals against a Knicks team hungry for any type of playoff success. Why did the NBA and ABC schedule this game at 330 on a Saturday when most people are either grocery shopping or watching the Rangers game? You're guess is as good as mine but it seems like they figure that Saturday night is a dead zone ratings wise (hence the Orlando vs Indiana matchup at 7) and they still want the Lakers in the golden time slot Sunday afternoon. Regardless, this should be a fun series, especially for us beleaguered Knicks fans at PTU. It will at least give us many opportunities to hate on LeBron. Heat in 6

3)Pacers vs 6) Magic

Coughgate: Another Reason not to Like The Miami Heat

Has it ever been one wild season for Miami. Way back in November there was bumpgate, then crygate, missed clutch shotsgate, Retardedgate, gategate (LeBron and Wade jumped over a gate), and now the most annoying scandal of the season: Coughgate (or as some outlets are reporting it, snifflegate). By now, everyone's seen video of the two superfriends yukking it up on their way out of practice as D Wade made light of Dirk Nowitzki's much hyped coughing fits from game 4. Most people are classifying this as just another example of the unwarranted arrogance and all around dick headedness of the Heat, including Dirk himself, who called their antics "childish" and "ignorant". I'd have to agree with Dirk that this was very childish behavior on their part, and I also agree that it's time to move past this horrible affront to humanity and focus on what is the biggest game for at least 20 player's careers tomorrow night. Coaches' and player's careers are on the line here. But Wade (who's been the good one for most of the season) and LeBron and whatever supporters they have left shouldn't act like they're shocked that people are making any kind of deal out of this (or that douche-bags like me are writing 500 word blog posts about it).

For most players, a triple double on 45% shooting would be seen as a career night in the finals, except everything that LeBron has stood for over his career has singled him out as more than an average player or average mortal, for that matter. The chosen one, King or whatever other crap you want to call him, are not labels that are forced on him. He never said, "cool it guys, I'm just one of the guys". His decisions, and his Decision, were all marketing schemes to separate him from the pack. He wasn't built in a Nike factory in Korea in order to put up Lamar Odom numbers. There weren't ESPN cameras at Jason Terry's high school games. If LeBron doesn't do the spectacular, the Heat season will be over and so will the myth of the Chosen King (something even I bought into a couple weeks ago). Now, Wade has joined the pity party, basically claiming that everything they do is taken the wrong way because of who they are, and claiming that what he was mocking with the cough routine was actually the overblown media coverage that him and Bron knew it would cause. Like he's some type of satirist now; Oscar Wilde Wade.

Anyway, Wade's beef (and Bottle's) that he and LeBron are unfairly targeted or that the Heat's every move is wrongly magnified all the way down to the intent of their coughs, is way off base. The reason that we all make a big deal out of seemingly small things with Miami, is they wanted things that way. If you exaggerate your own personas and accomplishments to ridiculous heights, then you can't be upset when your criticisms are equally outrageous and petty. Same goes for LeBron's seeming bewilderment at the ridicule that's being tossed his way over his failures in crunch time this series. Now he wants to point out how all he cares about is winning and how we fans and those in the media don't understand that basketball has a defensive side too. Well, boo hoo, Bron, you can't have it both ways. It's similar to the girl who wears a see through dress and then acts like she's shocked when everyone stares at her nipples all night. If you throw a celebration for signing a contract, have a primetime special dedicated to you, and make fun of the one guy who's kicking your ass for 2 weeks, then you have to deal with the repercussions: all eyes are on you.

Bulls vs Heat Game 5 Recap: The Slow, Agonizing Death of The Haters

I was all ready to post about Wade having double the amount of turnovers as field goals, and having a picture of Kurt "Crazy Eyes Killah" Thomas up there, and then the Heat decided to ruin everyone's fun.

In a collapse that was equally as shocking as the Thunder's choke job vs. Dallas a couple nights ago, the Bulls totally fell apart and the Heat played about as perfectly as humanly possible. After a Ronnie Brewer three gave Chicago a 12 point lead with a little over 3 minutes left, it seemed to everyone that there would be a must win game 6 for both teams. Game 7 in Chicago Memorial Day evening would be tough for the Heat to pull off. This Heat team is on the verge of choking! Haters rejoice! Can't hold a 3-1 lead without your mommy holding your hand, LeBum?

And then they hit 9 straight shots and won the game.

While this game might be just as indicative of a young team unravelling as games 4 and 5 for the Thunder, what makes this type of win more monumental is the fact that everyone outside of South Beach (all those fools who were celebrating like they won the Super Bowl last night) is rooting against this team. A couple of folks might want to see OKC do well because of Durant or their underdog appeal, but no one really hates the Mavericks. Dirk Nowitzki is the most benign superstar and Jason Kidd might be an asshole off the court, but you'd be hard pressed to find a rabid Kidd hater these days. Dallas makes a comeback and it's a glorious moment that will be a part of playoff lore for years to come. Miami does the same and it feels like the bad guys are winning again. It's exciting for sure, but could a team win in a more agonizing fashion? The Heat were dead and resurrected in the span of 15 real time minutes. Have we reached a point where the haters are almost the victims of bad karma? Could all the anger and hatred directed at LeBron and the Heat all year be backfiring now? Should we just embrace the Heat as the future of professional sports? Probably not, but being a hater never felt so bad.

Bulls vs Heat Game 4 Recap: MIke Miller and The Heat Get The Monkey Off Their Back and Heat Fans are Retarded

Day before yesterday, I wrote how the Heat were turning the basketball world upside down and were going to stage their own 3-man revolution. Well, I guess Mike Miller took offense to that and decided he would show the world that there are actually other players on the Heat team who do occasionally throw the ball in the hoop. Miller was lights out in the 4th quarter, hitting all 4 of his shots, on a night when Dwyane Wade looked as bad as I'd ever seen him (despite his midnight shooting session the night before). While Udonis Haslem was a surprise contributor in game 2 due to his injuries, Miller has basically been non-existent all season and had pretty much been written off the key contributor list. If they can continue to get scoring from him, (which I doubt) Miami would be unstoppable. Still, the Heat were able to get something out of a guy they thought would be their biggest off-season addition outside of the big 3.

Before I say anything else about last night's contest, a word about Heat fans. They are stupid. And I mean that in every sense of the word. I'm sure there's a couple of real, knowledgable basketball fans (M@d $cientist included) who have been there since the Steve Smith and Brian Shaw days and behave themselves in a sensible manner, but for the most part, Heat fans are very stupid. They only show up when the team is winning (and even then they don't do so until late into the first quarter). The empty red and yellow seats in the AAA are so unsightly, that the team has begun putting white shirts ON THE SEATS. It's like the old joke about the sell out crowd in disguise as empty seats; Heat brass have resorted to literally dressing up seats as fans. I'd venture a guess that most of the hot girls and other tanned douche-bags in attendance couldn't pick Glen Rice out of a line-up let alone be able to claim being there since the beginning. I still remember the crowds in Miami being practically split down the middle between transplanted Knicks fans and Heat fans during the 90s so the fans in Miami have always been about as fair weather as..well, the weather.

Their basketball I.Q. is not the greatest either, as evidenced by the cheers of delight after LeBron did the Kevin Garnett block of a shot 5 seconds after a foul (even Steve Kerr got a chuckle out of that). Also, how about chanting about an actual player for the opposing team, instead of about a loudmouth TNT broadcaster like Barkley that no one pays attention to anyway? Maybe a clever chant like "Noah's a Fag"? If Joakim called a New York fan that on live tv, he'd be ducking D batteries on his way off the court. And while you're at it, ditch the t-shirt throwing thing. I understand most Heat pseudo-fans haven't been to many sporting events outside of wet t-shirt contests, but those towels and t-shirts are meant to be waved, twirled or worn, not tossed in the air like it's new year's eve after every win.

Now that I got my Hater J on, as for the game: The Bulls continued to struggle for long stretches on offense, partly due to great Heat D, and partly due to plain old missing shots. Rose was particularly awful for most of the game, and LeBron's defense on him at the end of the 4th and O.T. played a big part in that. Chicago has a slightly better chance than OKC being that they play 2 out of the next 3 at home (win game 5 and as they say, the pressure switches back to the Heat) but like the Western Conference Finals, Game 4 may have been the back breaker for the losing team. Both teams were a minute away from evening the series and now they're both a game away from vacations. The idiots will be celebrating soon.

Bulls vs Heat Game 3 Recap: Chris Bosh, LeBron and The Heat Revolutionize Basketball

Sometime in the very near future (like mid-June) we might be talking about "remember when we all thought the Heat weren't going to be able to beat the Celtics?" or "remember when we all thought the Bulls would dominate the Heat like they did in the regular season?" and maybe most surprisingly "remember when everyone thought Chris Bosh was a big pussy who didn't belong on the same court as the other two guys, and will get eaten alive by Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah?". Oh, how naive we all were. Chris Bosh (up there literally taking a back seat to LeBron) continued to be the best player on the court in this series (his one off game, the team won anyway), barely missing a shot after the first quarter and the Bulls continued to look awful offensively.

A lot of credit for Bosh's sudden manliness has gone to Boozer's pre-series dismissal of him, and you have to think there's some truth to that, since he's playing as aggressive as I've ever seen him play. Whatever the reason for his awakening, the Bulls better figure some way quick to stop him. Then again, once they figure Bosh out, there's those other 2 guys. If the Heat big 3 experiment has taught us anything this season, it's that you really can win with 3 guys. You don't need a superstar coach like Phil Jackson to manage the personalities, or a top-notch point guard to run the show, or even a Steve Kerr or Robert Horry clutch bomber. You get 2 of the greatest players of all time and a very good player and you might just win the whole damn thing. Take that, haters.

With every win, Miami is revolutionizing professional basketball. While that "We Did It" bullshit up there originally looked as appropriate as Bush's "Mission Accomplished" sign, it's beginning to look more and more like this team is going to win it all. Easily. Even if LeBron or Wade aren't Jordan (who's unparalleled greatness alongside Pippen gets most of the credit for those thinly talented Bulls team's success), and the supporting cast is still terrible, it doesn't mean a thing. If you stop LeBron, you have Wade, and if you stop him, you have Bosh. The odds of all 3 having off games is minuscule. All those experts who declared the Heat's struggles as justification for real team basketball are going to be proved wrong by the 3 player team that's too good for all of the old school "play the right way" teams or even any team that's ever picked up a basketball anywhere in the world. You're always taught that a team is only as good as the sum of it's parts, a team that plays together as a team with reasonable talent will beat the superstar laden team, etc, etc. The Heat are going to prove all of that mumbo jumbo to be loser talk; stuff coaches of weakling, ordinary teams tell their pedestrian, non-superstar players to get them to believe that the big bullies don't always win. After LeBron and Wade shove the Bulls' faces in the toilets, they'll move on to stuffing Nowitzki in a locker. Basketball will never be the same.

Western Conference Finals Preview

That other series is starting tonight, in what seems like kind of a letdown compared to the star-studded Eastern Conference Finals. Yeah, the WCF has it's share of all-star and former all-star players: Dirk (that's him up there looking like Detective Holder from "The Killing"), Durant, Westbrook, and the rest of the former star players on the Mavs. But there's a reason that Miami vs Chicago game 1 was the highest rated basketball game in THE HISTORY OF CABLE TELEVISION (and not just because the Celebrity Apprentice was a rerun). The Heat have the hate factor, I'd guess that more people watching that game were rooting against the Heat than for the Bulls, and at least 3 more dynamic stars than the Thunder or Mavs can offer. Still, true hoops fans have a lot to appreciate here in the deceptively quick and powerful Durant, and Nowitzki's seemingly impossible shots that he hits so easily.

The Thunder are coming off the most unexpectedly exciting series of the Playoffs, a strange series that despite going 7 games and featuring 4 overtimes, also saw each game have a double digit lead. Dallas, meanwhile, has been sitting on their asses waiting since Mother's day after their equally unexpected beating of the champs. The usual school of thought here is that the team that has an unusually long rest period in between series can be rusty and fall out of sync. On the other hand, the extra rest should benefit the old guys in Dallas, while the intense 7 game series shouldn't bother the youngsters in OKC. Let's look at some match ups.

Point Guard:
Jason Kidd vs. Russell Westbrook

Jason Kidd couldn't have been happier to see old man Fisher in the Lakers series, but Russell Westbrook is a whole nother story. He's about 100 speeds quicker than Kidd ever was, and he has the size to post up Jason, as well as defend Kidd when he tries to post up (as he so often tries to do against opposing PG's). If Kidd can keep up his 3 point shooting, this might not be as lopsided, but this match up should be dominated by the Thunder.

Shooting Guard:
Deshawn Stevenson vs. Thabo Sefolosha

Neither of these guys is as good as their back-ups but the guy with the name that nobody can remember or pronounce is a defensive specialist who may see some time against Dirk in spurts. This one is pretty much a wash, but I give a slight edge to the Thunder since Stevenson is pretty much useless. By the way, he needs to stop doing the Tony Yayo/John Cena thing after every basket. When you hit 2 shots a game, you have no right to celebrate, and the announcers always incorrectly say it means he can't feel his face because he's so hot (which is cool but wrong).

Small Forward:
Shawn Marion vs. Kevin Durant

Not even close. OKC by a hundred miles.

Power Forward:
Dirk Nowitzki vs. Serge Ibaka

These guys games are so completely different. Ibaka plays the more typical Power Forward game in the Oakley mode, while we all know how Dirk does. Who do you think wins this match up?


Center:
Tyson Chandler vs. Kendrick Perkins

Danny Ainge isn't looking so good these days as Perkins is still playing for a Finals berth, and his Celtics looked so overmatched by the Heat. Perk has added a lot of toughness to the young Thunder and can still get pretty damn nasty, while Tyson is probably the best center still playing in the playoffs. Edge to the Mavs here.

Bench:

Dallas's strong suit (besides Dirk) is their super subs (I don't think they actually have a nickname). They absolutely dominated the Lakers bench, but OKC has some decent reserves themselves in James Harden and Eric Maynor and a couple others. If Barea, Stojakovic and Terry can keep up the pace they were playing at a couple weeks ago though, this should be advantage Dallas.

Coach:

I didn't give Rick Carlisle much credit before the L.A. series but he almost outcoached the great Phil Jackson at some points. Scott Brooks was a scrappy, little white point guard who somehow forged a career in the NBA, and his toughness rubs off on his squad a little, it seems. I like Brooks as a coach a lot and give him the edge over the more experienced Carlisle.

How will the series pan out? Hell if I know. Even though I probably watch close to 40
hours of NBA basketball a week, I can't predict how anything will turn out this postseason. My instinct is to say Dallas should win being that they have more experience, have outplayed pretty much every team in the league so far this Spring, and Dirk is playing at a phenomenal level, but nothing is going as planned so far so I'll say Oklahoma City in 6.

Bulls vs Heat Game 1 Recap: First Blood

I'm going to try to recap what I think will be the best series of the 2011 playoffs (although every thing I've predicted thus far has been wrong) since there's about 2 weeks in between each game. Nice of David Stern to give me time to get my thoughts together. So, let's get it started.

Last night saw the Bulls draw first blood. Like most game 1s, it can go any of many different ways. The team that just won a grueling or emotional series (in this case the Heat) can either carry that momentum into this next series, or can experience the hangover from exerting all that energy. The Heat started off the game looking like they would fall into the former category. LeBron had a steal, 50 foot assist to Wade for a dunk, another steal, dunk and block shot in about 90 seconds. I immediately texted Bottle that LeBron was poised to dominate, however before I could even press send on a "Bron is dominating" (or something witty like that) text to Hater J. all hell broke loose. Brooklyn's own Taj Gibson absolutely posterized Chicago homeboy D-Wade. It's the type of dunk that will be shown over and over again until M@d $cientist contemplates giving up on sports forever. The type of dunk that Scoop Jackson could write an entire article about. The type of dunk that gets blown way out of proportion by everyone who writes about it. So maybe it's not the turning point in the series or a sign that "these Bulls are for real" or something silly like that, but it was a hell of a play.

And on the game went, back and forth, the Bulls bench outplaying the Miami subs (no surprise there) MVP D. Rose calming down after the early turnovers to hit a bunch of 3s and Chris Bosh of all people dominating down low. Eric Spoelstra made the curious decision to keep Big Zydrunas in a suit, even though you would think that his ability to hit the stand-still jumper would work vs. Noah, who likes to roam the paint. No matter, Bosh seemed out to dominate Boozer after the blatant disrespect that Carlos showed him during the ATL series, refusing to even call him by name and only referring to the Big 2 (even if he's right). The TNT guys said that Boozer was mostly irked that he didn't get an invite to the Heat this off-season and there was a little jealousy happening there. Imagine if Boozer had gone to the Heat, they would have the two most hated players in Cleveland history in their starting lineup. The only thing that could make Cleveland angrier would be to suit Art Modell up in a pair of Heat shorts and let him play power forward. Whatever drove him, Bosh dominated.

Unfortunately for the Heat, he was the only one who showed up. Wade struggled most of the game, and LeBron (whether it was due to Luol Deng's D or not) never got it going after the 1st minute that got me so excited. A close game in the third quarter (Miami actually had a 1 point lead) turned into a Chicago explosion punctuated by another Taj NBA Jam like dunk. I expect the Heat to play much better next game, but the Bulls defense may prove to be too much for them to keep from coming back to Miami down 2-0. So expect the Heat to win by 20.
TAJ!!!!

Death of A Dynasty?

One of the knocks on the NBA from the pro basketball haters (of which there are many, just check out the most popular post here at the time of this writing) is that the same teams win the championship every year. As much as i like to argue in favor of America's 5th favorite sport (that's right, behind NASCAR) this one has validity. A 3 year old could tell you the Purple, Green, or silver and black teams have a good shot as long as they weren't color blind. Just take a look at this past decade: 8 titles for the Lakers and Spurs, and one each for the Celtics, Pistons and Heat. Well, the majority of those teams (Lakers, Spurs and Celtics) might want to make room for the new "same old teams" as they become just old.

The Spurs have already been exposed by a younger, athletic team, barely winning two postseason games after a great regular season, the Celtics are on the verge of losing to the hated, more explosive Heat (even if they're in a much better situation than the other two teams), and after last night's ugly fest at Staples, the Lakers are (to put it politely), in deep shit. They are the two time defending champs, so you have to give them the benefit of the doubt, and believe they'll some how make a series of this, even if they're going to be playing in front of thousands of rabid cowboys over the weekend. They've proven they're an excellent road team in the playoffs and the core of the team has been through some near disasters before, but it is definitely looking bleak for a 4th 3 peat for Phil Jackson.

Most people figured the Lakers would come out with a renewed sense of urgency and determination after New York Metsing the first game away, but last night saw more of the same. Nowitzki hit impossible shots all night, Pau Gasol looked lost against Tyson Chandler, and a 4 foot Puerto Rican ran all over the staples center like a cockroach in a kitchen. The only sign of life from the Lakers came when Artest nearly took the roach's face off in the final seconds (he better hope that doesn't mean a suspension). As many people have pointed out recently, including Steve Kerr during last night's broadcast, this is a Lakers squad that has been to 3 straight finals and is gunning for their 4th, something that hasn't been done since the Bird Celtics. Even the most mentally and physically tough team would struggle to keep the level of intensity needed to do that. The way the Lakers have sleep walked through the season, you kinda had to see this coming, though. Kobe's will and determination is usually seen as his best attribute, and the personality of a team's best player tends to rub off on the rest of the team. But Kobe and Phil have also perfected the arrogant, what me worry?, every team is beneath us attitude, which can be an asset at keeping teams calm under pressure but it may have come back to bite them here. They can get by with the hubris act against the depleted Hornets, but Dallas is an actual NBA playoff team.

There's still hope in L.A., 3 teams have come back to win series after losing their first two games at home, most recently the Hakeem Rockets in 95 (who went on to win it all after half-assing an entire season) but they were more an exception to the rule. It's near impossible to win a series after blowing your first two games at home. Lakers fans could take solace in the fact that their opponent is notorious for choking away playoff series, but this may be the end of the line for the Kobe-Phil Lakers as Jackson is serious about retiring this year. The NBA's Old guard has lost one of the three big teams thus far this playoffs, and the other two seem ready to fall. At least no one can say you know who's going to win it all this year.

Lakers vs. Mavs Preview

Even though the Lakers and Mavericks have been two of the more winning teams of the past decade (at least percentage wise), this is the first meeting between the Kobe Lakers and the Dirk Mavericks this century. Both teams have put up great regular seasons and long playoff runs, but have some how avoided each other until now. It figures that the two dark, post-Shaq years resulted in the longest runs for a Dirk led team.

Still, even without any battles in the spring in their recent history, there's still a good deal of bad blood between the two teams as well as some memorable moments (at least as memorable as regular season games go). In the past 10 years we've seen:

• Kobe's 62 thru three quarters in 2006. This game was controversial due to Phil's decision (which he said Kobe agreed with, and I believe him since Kobe basically subs himself in and out of games) to sit number 8 after outscoring the Mavs singlehandedly. Everyone wondered how much Kobe could actually score if left in the blowout. We got the answer a couple weeks later.



• Dirk scoring his 20k in a loss to the Lakers at home last January. This game was also notable for a limping Kobe hitting the game winner in an otherwise ugly performance



• The Shaq and Kobe Lakers storming back from a 27 point 4th quarter deficit on national tv at home vs the Mavs in 2003. Caught this one on ESPN classic not too long ago. I totally forgot about Devean George.



• This Shannon Brown putback



• The recent Matt Barnes vs. Jason Terry scrum followed shortly by Matt Barnes vs Terry Stotts.

That last one is indicative of the aforementioned bad blood that's surfaced recently between the two teams, mostly brought on by the back and forth smack talk between Phil and Mark Cuban. Early in the year, Jackson tweaked everyone's favorite billionaire man-child owner with a crack about Dallas not being all that great despite being the "best team money can buy", and how they would struggle without Caron Butler. Cuban came back as only he can, calling Phil Jeannie Buss's boy toy, and how glad he is that she lets him speak in public. As ridiculous as all that is, it added a little fire to the otherwise boring match-up. Things only got more heated in April, when Jason Terry got all gangsta on poor sickly Steve Blake, causing Matt Barnes to come to his rescue and eventually toss an assistant coach to the ground. Expect to see more hard fouls and harder looks over the next couple weeks.

As far as the basketball itself, I think the inaugural Dirk vs. Kobe series will be tightly contested but ultimately will end as so many of the past years have: the Lakers still playing and the Mavericks walking dejectedly to another summer.

Center:
The Big man matchups will be well publicized and Dallas probably presents the best defense for Bynum and Gasol, with Tyson Chandler and Brendan Haywood, so expect whatever centers to stay out of foul trouble to win that battle.

Forwards:
Who defends Dirk is always an issue for any Dallas opponent. Pau might prevent some interesting cross match ups, but he can't keep up with the big German on the perimeter, and Artest can body him but is a good 5 inches shorter. Expect the Lakers to let Nowitzki get his (Jackson hates to double team as much as Kobe loves to dribble away from them) and keep their bodies on the Mavericks shooters and around the rim.

Shooting Guard:
Kobe struggled mightily against Shawn Marion during the regular season, but I anticipate him finding a way around him during the playoffs if his ankle holds up.

Point Guard:
This is also the only team left in the playoffs that actually employs a starting point guard older than Derek Fisher, which should be fun. Kidd has an edge over Fish, and Barrea can be an annoying pest out there, but at least Fisher won't have to worry about picking up early fouls chasing a quick guy like Westbrook around.

Bench:
The Mavs have a slight edge here, especially if the Killer B's (Brown, Barnes and Blake) continue to play as lame as that nickname. Terry, Stojakovic, Haywood and Barrea (half of those guys are probably wondering why they're not starting) will be a handful for the Lakers second team. The sixth man of the year (who actually started almost half of his games) helps neutralize them a bit, but it's still in favor of Dallas

Coach:
Rick Carlisle seems like a nice guy and all, and he's buddies with Larry Bird, but he's not close to Jackson's level. Expect Mark Cuban to get way more screen time than Rick.

There's no clear dominance at any position for either team but I think all in all, the Lakers experience is just too much for a relatively thin Mavericks roster.

This will be a tight series that i think will go the distance, and will probably give us what we've all been waiting for between these two teams.

Lakers in 7.

Heat vs. Celtics Preview: LeBron's Revenge?

This is what we've all been waiting for, and by "we" I mean everyone who pays attention to LeBron James, all of the haters and those of us who hate him a little bit less. When Bron made his decision last summer, you know he had the Celtics in mind. If they could get a big 3 together and torture him in the postseason, why the hell not form his own super team on South Beach? He was coming off an ugly playoff loss to Boston in which he would be accused of everything from choking under the pressure to actually intentionally tanking a game. Everyone from his former owner (who basically made the allegation that he threw games 5 and 6 despite a triple double in the latter) to Bill Simmons (who has hinted that a certain player named Delonte having relations with his mother may have been the reason for his end of series change in attitude, and who just so happens to play for the Celtics now) have analyzed the last 3 games of last year's Cavs-Celtics series like it was the zapruder film. LeBron has to come out and average close to a triple double, 30 points and some how manage some end of game shots to get the Boston monkey off his back. If he can do that, with the help of his new buddies, he can at least say the most unpopular decision in sports history would be somewhat worth it. Hate all you want on him, but he got past the Celtics finally.

That's easier said than done. The Celtics played like garbage for about 40% of the Knicks series but still managed the first sweep of the Big 3 era. The Heat are kind of a magnified version of the Knicks (by about 1000 percent, but still) as they throw 3 good to great players out there alongside a motley crew of nobodies, except their big trio is actually healthy. They'll also have trouble keeping up with Rondo and have no real intimidators on the interior, even if their defense is still near the top of the league. Boston seemed to progressively get better in the last series (minus about a 8 minute period in the second half of the close out game) and the ridiculous stretched out schedule for this series (David Stern needs the Heat on Sunday) should benefit the Celtic senior citizens. Ex Miami center Shaq might even make some appearances before he breaks his hip.Home court is usually a big deal, but this veteran Boston team can win on the road so that shouldn't be a huge issue. Whatever happens, it should be intense and all of us haters will be watching. I hate all things Boston and especially these Celtics so it'll be tough for me, but I think I hate this Heat team even more.

Celtics win a game 7 in Miami.

NBA Playoffs 2nd Round Preview; The Other Guys

I'd say that had to be one of the best first round of NBA Playoffs without a game 7 in history. Even if none of the series went 7, there was a limited number of blowouts (only one sweep), and a level of intensity throughout, as well as one huge upset (at least to everyone outside of Bottle). Will round 2 be as entertaining? Probably not, since two of the 4 matchups seem to be awfully uneven, but I've been wrong most of the time already, so who knows? Let's look at the two boring matchups first and get that out of the way before focusing on the two marquee series in both conferences. Lakers vs Mavs and Heat vs Celtics should have most of the juice and get the attention of the major networks, what about the other guys?:


Bulls vs Hawks:

Figures to be the snoozer of the bunch. The Bulls were pushed to the brink by the overachieving Pacers but, D. Rose's health's willing, this series could be over quick. Kirk Hinrich has basically been useless since his acquisition, but at least he was another body to throw out there, and a decent defender; his injury means more time for second year player Jeff Teague and maybe even Jamal Crawford out of position at the point. Boozer and Noah are always ticking time bombs of ankle, foot and other extremities getting hurt at any time so there's that situation to worry about too. I just think the Bulls are a much better team, and can't see them losing more than twice to the Hawks no matter how well they've been playing lately. Hawks may sneak one in the United Center but that's all they'll get on the road.

Bulls in 6


Thunder vs Grizzlies :

2 years ago, before the 2009-2010 season began, if someone had brought up these two teams as Western Conference juggernauts, you probably would have spit in their food and cursed them out (or at least disagreed politely). The Thunder had their unbelievable break out season last year, giving the Lakers all they could handle in the first round, so it's easy to forget that they were a 23 win team just 24 months ago. And the Grizzlies are the Grizzlies. A team that even Canada didn't want, could not get a playoff win and was seemingly run by a retarded owner. Retarded like a fox, that is! The Pau Gasol trade has unexpectedly led to a pleasant surprise in his slimmed down brother, and the money freed up by moving their one time franchise player was used wisely on Zach Randolph, who's transformed himself from sloppy, unathletic malcontent who hogged the ball yet was a 20,10 machine and was seen as a loser and team cancer to sloppy, unathletic lovable teddy bear who is virtually unstoppable in the post and still a 20, 10 machine. Everything Z-bo throws up around the rim seems to go in, it's unbelievable. It's ironic that the coach who immediately after the Gasol trade was made suggested an investigation into how such a lopsided trade could happen, just saw his own team be dominated by that very team. Poppovich is well aware of the merits of that trade now, I'm sure. However, I'm afraid the young, athletic and hungry Grizzlies have run into a much better, just as young, athletic and hungry team. They've also got the best scorer in the game, Kevin Durant, who proved his clutchness in the Denver series. Memphis shocked me last round, but I think their magical run has come to an end.

Thunder in 5

Why I Hate The NBA Playoffs: These Two Guys

Ok, anyone who's read PTU over the past couple of weeks can tell I actually love the NBA playoffs, but there are a couple things I hate about the coverage: Franklin and Bash. Yes, if you've watched 10 minutes of a first round game televised on TNT, then you've been witness to these two pricks running around acting a fool every time-out and even during free throws (I have to chuckle every time I hear Kevin Harlan say "This much fun should be illegal"). This happens during every playoffs in every sport. I still have Vietnam flashbacks to the atrocity that was Frank TV burned into my brain from the relentless promotion on TBS during the Yankees 09 playoff run.

The basic premise of this comedy abortion seems to be two hotshot young attorneys, played by noted juice-head Zack Morris and that Jewish guy from Road Trip, who bang chicks in hot tubs and do tv frat-guy stuff like order pizzas and drink light beer all the while kicking serious courtroom ass! Gosselar seems to have his shirt off a lot too. Now, I've had some experience in law firms and no one, I mean NO ONE, is having that much fun every day. Of course, this isn't the first time law offices have been spruced up for entertainment purposes (no one would watch a show about people researching Westlaw for an hour) but these two assholes living it up in between the Thunder Nuggets game every 10 minutes really makes me wish the NBA would consider soccer rules; no commercial breaks until the intermission to spare me from Mark Paul and the other douche high fiveing and generally having more fun than I am on my couch in my boxers. And what's up with that title? At least we can be confident that this show will last about as long as the Knicks-Celtics series, and then we can all go back to waiting for the Hillside Honda girl to come back on during time-outs.

They Don't Care and They Don't Have To

After the ugly orange t-shirts have been cleaned up off the streets, and Lupica's dotted the i's on his last sappy article about how this little team from this big city just couldn't hang with the big, bad Celtics, we're left to think about the future of the Knicks and what could have gone differently during this season. Another year without a playoff win, even if there's a little bit more hope. This one hurt for the fans, as we watched the Knicks come a Jared Jeffries play and Ray Allen 3 from winning two games in Boston and then witnessed a Celtic domination at the Garden. The players must be close to doing their best mid-season Miami Heat impressions in the locker room, right? Get the tissues ready:

"We showed y'all...we figured it out" a smiling Melo said in the locker room after this Boston Big 3's first ever sweep, and beatdown of the Knicks "The sky's the limit".

What a brave face he's putting up. How about the hobbling Amare? He must be really broken up and pissed off that he had no help around him and Melo and had to make a go of it with a bad back. What did he have to say?:

"The 'Knicks are back' statement is definitely true'".

Ok. So these aren't the Lakers crying on the bench when their run came to an end, or Kobe and Michael calling their team-mates out as gay losers for letting them down, but should us fans expect these millionaire players to get as worked up as we are over losses? Not at all. These guys I'm sure followed up these statements with a quick shower, got their jewelry that is worth as much as your parents' house from a guy from their block that they pay your annual salary to hold onto, got in their cars you can't pronounce correctly (or can they most likely), went to 10ak and helped get Roger Mason Jr. laid yet again ("seriously, baby, I play for the Knicks"). They had a bad couple weeks at work, but nothing that will affect their job security (at least not those two guys). At the end of the day, they're still living the dream: getting paid unbelievable amounts of dough to do what they love. Why should they be mad? Some guys might pretend like they're really pissed off after losing for the media, but as anyone who saw Melo's appearances on SNL can tell you, acting is not his strong suit.

For hard-core fans like us here at PTU, or anyone else who lives and dies with their team, the initial reaction to laughing and care-free attitudes like Carmelo shows on the court is anger. The body language looks lazy and disinterested. How dare they laugh it up while my entire weekend is ruined! We invest a lot of time and money into these teams, and when they lose or don't put up an effort, we feel cheated. But athletes aren't obligated to be as broken up as us fans are over losses. They lose all the time, and frankly, have much better lives than we do outside of their profession. Being a fan means you already are having an irrational reaction to what another man is doing just because he has your city (or doesn't) across his chest. It's just like in "A Bronx Tale", when Sonny told Cologero that Mickey Mantle doesn't care about you or pay your rent so why should you care about him? I'm not going to stop being a Yankee fan like C did (or start dating a black chick and run errands for the Mob) but the basic premise that "these guys don't care about you, why should you care about them?" is true. While there are exceptions, such as Kobe or Paul O'Neill and other less demonstrative players, the average superstar athlete doesn't spend the next week wondering about what could have gone differently. They've got awesome lives to lead.

To reference another crappier less gangster movie, in the Farrelly Brother's "Fever Pitch", there's a scene where Jimmy Fallon's super fanatical douche-bag Red Sox fan character is at a restaurant after the Yankees have gone up 3-0 on the Sox in 2004 and sees Johnny Damon and a couple other players laughing and having dinner at a near by table. His first reaction is anger, but then he realizes these guys are just doing their job, and they're still going to go on and live their lives. They don't really care in the larger sense how badly they played or if they lost. If they got as broken up as we did over losses they'd never get out of bed in the morning. The point I'm trying to make (and one that Mr.D and the rest of us have discussed) is that part of being a fan is to get unreasonably upset or happy about teams and people who really have nothing to do with our lives other than providing entertainment; it might seem like some athletes don't care as much as we do (and maybe they don't) but they really don't have to.