Lin is Gone. Get Over It.

I guess we should have seen this coming. Everything about Linsanity is ridiculous. Not so much that he himself is ridiculous (he's actually a very normal 23 year old Asian dude) but everything surrounding him sure is. The hype around his arrival as an NBA star in February was crazy so of course the same should apply to his departure. Since the official announcement that James Dolan gave a forlorn thumbs down to America's sweetheart, the Internet has exploded in grief. It's like John Lennon, Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa all died at the same time and James Dolan killed them. It's one thing to say "yeah, Lin was a nice player with some upside, he could carve out a nice career some day". But most Knicks fans (and basketball fans in general) are reacting as if Dolan took a shit on their hopes and dreams. I understand Dolan is a spoiled, pompous jerk. He's made a million and one awful moves during his reign of terror as Knicks owner, and maybe letting Lin go is akin to shitting on your head. But, it's over now, let it go. At least this move is defensible. There's an argument that letting Lin go is a prudent move. He very well may end up being a bust, and the chemistry between him, Carmelo and Amare left something to be desired. It's not a popular opinion but there is at least an argument. There's NO argument for trading Latrell Sprewell for Keith Van Horn, giving Jerome James a monster contract after a couple good games, giving Isiah Thomas an extension after being in 8th place for one day, Eddy Curry for non lottery protected picks, and on and on. Except I don't remember anyone saying they were done as Knicks fans after all of those moves. It's Linsanity all over again, except all that excitement and positive feelings has turned into anger and grief. To all those Knicks fans who feel like their lives are ruined now and maybe are feeling the lure of that new arena in Brooklyn. Take a deep breath, calm down and remember that you were a Knicks fan long before Jeremy Lin was ever in uniform, probably long before he had even picked up a basketball, and in some cases, before he was even born. James Dolan's going to continue to make stupid moves, some stupider than this, but that's no reason to stop being a fan. One particularly dumb argument I hear a lot of people making is "they gave so much money to all these other people, why not him?" or a variation of that, "everyone in the NBA is overpaying worthless players". Because overpaying is en vogue doesn't justify overpaying.

If you're a Knicks fan, my point is: these are the Knicks. You can't just jump ship.We can cry all day about how awful a person Dolan is, how we're going to quit and root for another team, blah blah blah. We all know we'll be right there in front of the tv, or at the Garden, or watching those dots on ESPN gamecast while working late, rooting for the Knicks again. No point in whining about it. Lin is gone, he's not coming back. Your dreams have now been shat on.

Deal with it.

RIP Linsanity: A Timeline of Linsanity in New York

Linsanity has been declared dead more times than Saturday Night Live. First, it was Carmelo's return that killed the phenomenon, then it was the Miami Heat defense in that pre-all star break disaster, and then it was the torn cartilage that sidelined Lin for the Knicks playoff run. Every time, though, it was thought that Linsanity would return, as great as it was the first time, to blow everyone's mind like it's Valentines day 2012 all over again. Now, it seems like time has run out though, on Lin's 15 minutes, at least in New York. The Knicks, by all accounts, will not be matching the Rockets' "ridiculous" offer and Lin will be taking his millions of Asian fans to Houston. We could debate whether or not Lin is a money hungry, ungrateful back up guard with limited skills who just got lucky, or if the Knicks are making the biggest mistake in their history by not holding on to what could be a great, young pro no matter the cost, but that's all conjecture. We have no idea how Lin's career will turn out, if he'll prove himself to be a flash in the pan (albeit a really bright flash) or the second coming of Steve Nash. Either way, it appears his time in New York is done. It was fun while it lasted.

A quick history of important dates in Linsanity

• December 27th, 2011 The Knicks announce they are claiming Jeremy Lin off waivers, making him the first Chinese or Taiwanese player to suit up in the orange and blue. Me and a handful of other Asian Knicks fans are moderately excited even though we know he'll never get off the bench.





• February 3rd, 2012- Lin gets off the bench and actually plays in a loss in Boston. He doesn't contribute much but shows some signs of life (which the Knicks had been sorely missing during this period).






• February 4th, 2012- The day before the Super Bowl, the Knicks are reeling. Playing the third game of the lockout necessitated back to back to back schedule, Mike D'Antoni is willing to try anything short of shaving his moustache to find a winning combination. Lin scores 25 points on an array of layups and jumpers. Knicks fans begin to lose their minds.






• February 10th, 2012- After two more games that saw a few ridiculous plays, including a buzzer beater that caused Clyde Frazier to say "some things are meant to be" and a dunk past John Wall, Lin shows he's not a fluke and might actually be a decent NBA player. In a nationally televised Friday night game against the Lakers he scores 38, outscoring Kobe and causing countrywide LINSANITY. The next week a photo from this game would serve as the first of back to back Sports Illustrated covers featuring Lin, a rare feat for anyone. It's only going to get worse....






• February 14th, 2012- Valentine's day is officially renamed VaLINtine's day. Despite getting torched by Jose Calderon for most of the game, he redeems himself with the Knicks last 6 points including a three pointer to win it with less than a second left on the clock. Mayor Bloomberg proclaims Park Avenue will now be known as Lin Avenue. Lepers flock by the hundreds to Landry Field's couch hoping to be healed. The sun shines for 3 straight days as scientists speculate Linsanity has caused a shift in the earth's axis.






• February 17th, 2012- The end of Linsanity appears to be near as the Knicks crap the bed against the putrid Hornets. The 2012 Hornets suck to begin with in the wake of the Chris Paul trade, but on this night, the Hornets are missing half of their players and feature such greats of the game as Gustavo Ayon and Revis Vasquez. Compounding the Knicks loss is the unfortunate choice of words by an ESPN headline writer. The next night, SNL opens the show with a Linsanity themed sketch. Saturation point has almost been reached.





• February 19th, 2012- The Knicks beat the champion Mavericks (who are still considered a good team at that point). The game is highlighted by a three by Lin over Nowitzki, and a steal and dunk that literally sends the crowd into hysterics. If you could imagine 100 New Year's eves combined with watching 20 world cup championships in the winning country and 20,000 simultaneous orgasms. It would be about half as excited as the Garden crowd is after Lin's dunk. My favorite part is the three grown men hugging on the verge of tears at the 12 second mark but this video does a nice job of summing up Linsanity. After the dunk, you see some dude jumping up and down on celebrity row (where people usually sit quietly all game), Spike Lee wearing a Harvard jersey, a few seconds of delirious fans hugging in the stands like Oprah just gave them a car, and then video from a restaurant in Chinatown of proud Asians who hadn't watched an NBA game since Yao retired. It wouldn't be all laughs from here though.
  
  
  
  
  
• February 20th, 2012- The following day sees the return of Carmelo Anthony from the injury he suffered on an alley-oop pass during the second game of Linsanity. To say people in New York are worried about his co-existing with Lin is an understatement. And, of course, everyone's worst fears are realized as the Knicks get blown out at home by the revenge-minded Nets. Deron Williams dominates Lin all game. Linsanity is dying...

• February 23rd, 2012- Lin is a non factor in a nationally televised game against the Heat in Miami days before the all star break. He appears afraid to even dribble the ball never mind be the swaggering hero that he was for the previous weeks. Lin has been exposed, or so it seems. Countdown to Linsanity's death....





• March 31st, 2012- After a couple weeks of bullshitting that his injury wasn't all that serious, the Knicks announce Lin will have surgery on his knee, conveniently timed after the deadline to renew season tickets. Sneaky, sneaky. Lin still holds out hope he'll return for the playoffs.





• July 15th, 2012- Despite weeks of hearing nothing but how the Knicks will resign Lin no matter what the Rockets offer, it's reported by numerous media outlets that the Knicks will not be matching Houston's offer. This seems all the more likely when it's announced that the Knicks have made a trade for former Knick Raymond Felton. Linsanity is on life support.

And that leads us to today. The Knicks will make a decision tonight on Lin, and either way it will make some people upset. Those three weeks in February have been mythologized since, (there's already been a book that must have been written in about 2 hours) but as hyped as Lin's Knicks career was, some of it was deserved. It all played out like a corny sports movie; frustrated by his greedy, overpaid stars, a beleagured coach grasping at straws puts in the last guy on the bench. An Asian ivy leaguer who was cut from his previous team on Christmas Eve and he plays really, really well for a couple weeks, leading the team to a win streak and becoming a world wide phenomenon. Except those movies always end with the team either winning it all, or learning a valuable lesson in defeat. They don't usually make sequels to these movies because nobody wants to see where the underdog goes once they're on top or what happens to the phenomenon when their time runs out. Usually, the second chapter isn't nearly as exciting. And in some cases, it's almost sad to watch.

Can Knicks Fans Leave The Knicks and Become Nets Fans?

No.

Top 5 Marv Albert Calls

Happy belated Birthday, Marv Albert! It's sure been a tumultuous career for Marvelous. The voice of the Knicks for over 30 years (including their only 2 championships) was fired twice by MSG, first for biting on his hoes (to quote Cam'ron) and then, after being rehired, was then fired again for speaking his mind about the terrible team that the Knicks had become. Despite those bumps in the road, Marv's been the unmistakable voice for so many big NBA moments (along with a host of other sports). He coined the phrases "on fire", and "from downtown" among many others. You might have read Complex's extremely lame list today, replete with errors, and corny jokes, written in that way that only Complex can. These are the real top 5 Marv Albert broadcasting moments. Yes!

5) Reggie's 25 point 4th Quarter

All of the moments on this list are impossible to separate from Marv's calls. You can't think of Reggie's spike baiting performance in the 94 ECF without hearing "From waaay downtown" along with Matt Guokas's stunned "look at this shot!". "And once again, has something to say in the direction of Spike Lee". Nobody does drama better than Marv.

4) Jordan's Shrug

One of the biggest mistakes the NBA has made in the past 25 years (besides thinking that owning one of it's teams would be a good idea) is letting it's partnership with NBC end. ABC and ESPN are ok (aside from their studio commentators) but nothing can match the NBA on NBC for sheer nostalgic joy. Just the first couple notes of John Tesh's theme music and I'm a little happier. The NBA on NBC heyday also coincided with the Jordan (and PTU) 90s heyday. And Marv was a part of much of Jordan's signature plays. The shrug might have been the signature Marv/Jordan call if not for....

3) A spec-TAC-ular move

.....this move by his Airness. Even though the switch to his left hand was kind of unnecessary (he claims he saw Sam Perkins about to put his hand up but could Sam Perkins ever block Michael's shot?)it's still one of the iconic Jordan moments made even more so by Marv's call. This Finals was the changing of the guard, from Magic and Bird's 80s to Michael's 90s.

2) The Dunk

I've already written extensively on "the dunk" so I'm not going to say much about it except it was a great moment and Marv said just enough about it without overdoing it. "The Garden..is rocking".

1) "Here Comes Willis"

That Complex didn't have this high on their list is a crime. I assume it's because most of their writers are in their early twenties or really stupid (or both) or do busy drooling over the Yeezy 2's to actually remember that this might be the biggest moment in NY basketball of all time, and Marv's call was a part of it. It's one of those cheesy moments that you think only happens in movies, and that you probably wouldn't see today. If Willis Reed were thinking about playing, David Aldridge would tweet it at 4 pm and it would lose some impact. Back then, Marv was the only messenger and he played the role well.

Knicks 2012 Year In Review: The Craziest Season Ever

Well, that was certainly something else. Now that we have a chance to catch our breath and reflect a little on this clusterfuck of an abbreviated Knicks season, it really sinks in just how crazy it all was. Every season in New York is wild, but I've never seen one that was basically four mini seasons. These past two seasons are the first seasons that the Knicks were competitive during the era of the social networks, and every game took on almost an NFL Sunday type "every game counts" feeling, heightened by the condensed schedule. Let's look back at this season month by month.

November


The NBA lockout mercifully comes to an end thanksgiving weekend, much to the delight of myself and millions of black people. A short training camp and really short preseason is announced.

Fan base- Mildly excited

December

The Knicks win an up and down Christmas matinee at home against the Paul Pierceless Celtics. Carmelo almost singlehandedly brings the team back and hits the game winning free throws on a questionable call. I give up on the team during a third quarter run by the Celtics and play Xbox. Iman Shumpert tweaks his knee in a harbinger of things to come.

Fanbase- excited.

January

The Knicks limp to a listless, miserable start characterized by awful back to back home losses to the Raptors and the Bobcats (who would eventually go on to have the worst winning percentage in NBA history). Mid-month, the Knicks decide not to release seldom used point guard Jeremy Lin. The Harvard grad Asian-American plays a few productive minutes in a loss at Houston. He'll be heard from again.

Fanbase- near suicidal

February

Lin plays a couple unproductive minutes in a loss at Boston. The next night (the third of a back to back to back) Mike D'Antoni grasping at straws decides to give Lin a shot. Hey, nothing else has worked to this point. He immediately takes over the Garden with an array of three point plays and jumpers. Someone should come up with a hashtag for this phenomenon. Two days later, lightning strikes again as Lin dominates Devin Harris and the Jazz, including a ridiculous three point buzzer beater and the Knicks win despite Carmelo pulling up lame on an alley oop pass. And so Linsanity is born. Before it's over, the Knicks will win 6 games in a row (including a Friday night game against Kobe), Mike D'Antoni's job is saved (for now), Amare's brother will die, Amar'e will tattoo a tear drop, everyone will think Carmelo is the worst thing since AIDS, an ESPN headline writer will be fired and the NBA has about 2 billion more fans. Boneheaded perp JR Smith will sign with the team after he is released from China and immediately becomes a more erratic, dumber John Starks. Little used journey man Steve Novak also becomes a fan favorite. The players go from reviled by the fans to beloved. Even Jared Jeffries gets routinely cheered by the Garden crowd. On February 20th, Carmelo returns and the Knicks predictably lay an egg at home against a fired up Deron Williams. The Knicks will then go on to alternate wins and losses for the last week of the season. Change is coming again....

Fanbase- Deliriously excited and exhausted. Also a little confused.

March

The Knicks lose 7 in a row. Knicks fans and the media want blood. Carmelo Anthony is fingered as the culprit for the death of Linsanity. His boogie woogie style and negro gyrating and isolation plays have sapped the joy out of the world's most famous arena. After another loss to the Bulls, D'Antoni resigns. Knicks fans rejoice and in Mike Woodson's first game the Knicks beat the even more dysfunctional Blazers by a million points. Woodsanity is born. Lin hurts his knee in a blowout win against the Pistons, the severity of which would be of some controversy. At first, it was said to only be a strain that would cost him a couple games. But, before a Saturday night game against the Cavs, the team announces that Lin will have surgery and will most likely be out for the season. The timing of this announcement is a little fishy, as it came right after the deadline for season tickets to be purchased. Hmm. Anyway, the Knicks go on to win 10 of their first 12 under Woodson to finish the month with a winning record despite another injury suffered by Amar'e.

Fanbase- Back to delirious excitement

April

The Knickerbockers kick off the month by blowing a huge lead at Indiana. Panic begins to set in amongst the fan base. The panic is tempered by a dominating win at the dysfunctional Magic, followed by the game of year. Melo scores 41 against the Bulls, including the game tying and winning three pointers. Three night later, the Knicks beat the annoying Bucks in what was up to that point the biggest game of the season. Amar'e returns in a game against Cleveland and the Knicks promptly get blown out by the terrible Cavs (a game that would come back to haunt them). Electing not to rest his players and tank the season, Woodson leads the Knicks to a 36-30 record. One game better than the 8th spot, and one worse than the 6th. This means that if the Knicks had lost one of those games during the Linsanity or Woodsanity streak that they usually wouldn't have won, or won the stupid game at Cleveland or vs Toronto, Charlotte or New Orleans, they would have faced either the hurting Bulls or mediocre Pacers. Instead, they end up with the worst possible matchup- the hated Miami Heat.

Fan Base- Cautiously Optimistic

May

The Knicks have a disastrous first game in Miami. They're dominated in nearly every facet of the game, Melo sucks, Shumpert tears his ACL and LeBron acts like a bitch. The second game is better, but they still lose by double figures. Amar'e open hands the glass case holding a fire extinguisher, injuring his hand and creating a lot of funny photoshops. PTU creates a new column in his honor. Tyson Chandler is named defensive player of the year. Hater J and Johnny Bagels grossly overpay for two tickets to game 3 at the Garden in hopes of seeing one of the all time great moments of glorious New York sports history, but instead witness the Knicks fall behind 3-0. To make matters worse, they sit in front of the world's most annoying Miami Heat fan (and that's saying something). The Knicks bounce back in game 4, behind a gutsy performance from Stoudemire and some big shots from Carmelo, breaking their 11 year drought. Baron Davis endures one of the most gruesome knee injuries in history. It all ends Wednesday night in Miami, however, as the Knicks go quietly into the night.

Fan base- frustrated, yet strangely content.

In summary, that's two coaches, 4 starting point guards, a bonafide worldwide phenomenon, Melo booed, the defensive player of the year, Novakane, Melo cheered, fire extinguishers, aaaaashooole, and finally defeat. The craziest, most up and down season in Knicks history.

Knicks Finally End the Losing Streak

The nightmare is finally over. The Knicks have broken their ridiculous playoff win drought and have also avoided being swept for the second straight season. Yes, they're only delaying the inevitable but not even rooting for your team because you "know" they're going to lose is for pussies and Jets fans. For one day the Knicks can say they are winners thanks to dominating play by Carmelo and surprisingly effective play by that dumbass Amar'e, (who I now take back everything I've ever said about). It almost ended as one of the most heartbreaking losses in Knicks history, and would have made Amar'e and in particular Carmelo the goat instead of the GOAT that he wants to be, but thankfully D Wade's rushed three pointer was off the mark. So what does this mean for the franchise? Nothing and everything. It means almost nothing as to the series outcome. I fully expect the Heat to slam the door shut in Miami on Wednesday, but it means a whole lot for the franchise and it's players. As sad as it sounds for the expectations of the fans and the front office, one win means Mike Woodson will almost certainly be given the full time gig, it means Amar'e's reputation will probably survive the "extinguisher" with a solid, gutsy performance. So will Carmelo's reputation (barring a complete no show in the next game). If Wade's shot goes in, we'd all be talking about his 1 out of 3 from the line in the last minute rather than his 41 points that saved the season.

Most of all, though, one win means Knicks fans finally got to see a playoff win for the first time since before LeBron had his prom, before Blacky had lost his virginity, even before Facebook existed. Shit, Myspace wasn't even a thing yet. In the grand scheme of the NBA playoffs, one measly victory means almost nothing. But we beleaguered Knicks fans will take whatever we can get, until this series ends and we can go back to being complaining, miserable human beings again. Before, the only bright spot of this week had been shouting "AAAAAASHOOOOOLLEEE" at the top of our lungs at LeBron. It's been 11 years since Sprewell, Camby, Childs and the rest won a game. That's 11 years of Marbury, Isiah, Curry, and an army of sucky players sapped the energy from the fan base. That's the difference between lost in 5, and being swept on your own homecourt. One win is enough for now.

NY Dumbass Hall of Fame: Amar'e Stoudemire

Today's as good a day as any to introduce a new feature at PTU: the New York Dumbass Hall of Fame. New York sports has seen some truly stupid athletes throughout the years, from John Starks to Plaxico to the Mets, but we have to begin with our inaugural inductee: Amar'e "Glass Joe" Stoudemire. As everyone's heard, he followed up last night's invisible performance vs Miami with one of the more idiotic moves in sports history, punching the glass case to a fire extinguisher out of frustration and possibly ending his season. That's next level stupidity, some real Kevin Brown type shit. Does this mean the Knicks season is over? It was probably over already anyway, and it's been proven that Carmelo plays better when Amar'e's not around, so I'm not shedding any tears for his loss. Our 100 million dollar man, however, has now proven that not only does he have a weak body, but his brain is also made out of pudding. Figures that one time the Knicks put up some fight in this series, it's against a fire extinguisher. I actually liked Amar'e last season; he put the team on his back (and in the process probably ran himself into the ground) and brought life back to the Garden for the first time in seemingly ages, but since the arrival of Melo he's been at best a less than complimentary player and at worst an outright liability on the court. There's been thesises written about why Amar'e can't play defense or grab rebounds. Is it because he played for D'Antoni for so long? Did he put on too much muscle? Is it the off the court distractions? Maybe Amar'e just suc'ks at defense. Maybe he's just la'zy. And we all know that he is definitely stu'pid. His corn rows must have been wound too tight, cutting off whatever oxygen he had going to that pea brain of his. And now he's done for the season most likely, but at least we know that he is capable of hitting the glass.

Amar'e, welcome to the PTU NY Dumbass Hall of Fame.

Who's Your Daddy? Best New York Sports Chants of All Time

Last Friday night, the Knicks blew out another miserable team at home, absolutely dominating a truly awful Wizards team. There was some controversy over whether or not the Wiz could beat Kentucky a couple weeks ago. After witnessing this game, I'm not sure they could beat Brooklyn College. Their girl's basketball team. One positive that came out of the extensive garbage time, however, was a new chant from the Garden crowd. This time it was "FORTY-SEVEN!" coming down from the cheap seats, a reference that at first escaped me (and apparently Steve Novak) to the score the Wiz were stuck on for close to an entire quarter of basketball. New york crowds often receive praise for being the most intelligent fans in sports (as well as some of the loudest) but we sometimes forget their mastery of the art of the group chant. We all know the basic chants: De-fense, charge, aaaashole. Those are all classics in their own right but from time to time we hear some truly inspired chants. It's easy to mess them up like that character on Conan O' Brien's show used to, but here are a few of my favorites.

"YOU"RE NOT JE-SUS"



That "LET"S GO YAN-KEES" rythym is so versatile any four syllables can be inserted in it's place and it sounds pretty good (besides We Want Tacos which is just bush league). Before Johnny Damon was a Yankees World Series hero, he was just another idiot on the eventual champion Red Sox with some decidedly un-Yankee like hair. Besides the great line "Looks like Jesus, throws like Mary" the Yankee Stadium bleachers also came up with "you're not Jesus" to try to get in his head. It mostly didn't work but was a great chant.

"UG-LY SIS-TER"


New York has known it's fair share of sports villains throughout the years but perhaps no one this side of John Rocker has inspired as much hatred amongst tri- state area fans of Reggie Miller. Just the sight of that monkey face on TNT still makes my blood boil. One silver lining to seeing Cheryl's more feminine brother every spring was a couple great chants. Of course there was "REGGIE SUCKS", "CHEEEERRRYYYYYLLLL" and the best of all "UGLY SISTER". Because nothing hurts a man worse than hearing 20,000 people simultaneously insulting your sister. And as you can tell by that horrifying photo, they weren't lying. This same chant was later used by Mavericks fans (amongst other Laker haters) when Khloe Kardashian's husband Lamar Odom was still an actual basketball player.

"WHO'S YOUR DADDY?"



Pedro Martinez was yet another Red Sox thorn in the Yankees' side for years. From the Don Zimmer fight to his many dominating performances against them to Grady Little fatefully leaving him on the mound an inning too long, Pedro and his Jeri Curl were smack in the middle of so much Yankee history. After a regular season loss to the Bombers, however, Pedro made the mistake of calling the Yankees his "daddy" and the rest was chant history that would last all the way until his reincarnation as a washed up pitcher with the Phillies in the 09 Series.

"POTVIN SUCKS"



We don't get into much hockey talk at PTU (and when I do I just make stuff up) but it's undeniable that hockey crowds know a good chant. One that's spanned decades is the ever present "Potvin Sucks" that is sometimes used to replace "Let's go Rangers" that refers to a guy who played for the Islanders 30 years ago. Like a good crosstown rivalry, a good chant never dies.

"WIIIIFE BEEEEATER"



Jason Kidd is one of the more respected veteran players now in the NBA but there was a time that he had some dirt on him. While his image is now pretty squeaky clean this wasn't always the case. During the early 2000s things were much different. The Nets were actually an exciting, fun team to watch that did nothing but win after replacing Stephon Marbury with Kidd at the point, and for a few years there dominated the Knicks (on the court if not in the papers). Present for most of the fun was Kidd's hot wife and weird looking child, sitting courtside until revelations about their domestic abuse were revealed, including Joumana throwing a cookie at Jason and Jason hitting her with a purse (or the other way around). Either way, they broke up and the Garden crowd was provided with a chant that was questionable in taste but truly insulting to Kidd. The way all great chants should be.

"FIRE ISIAH"



Simple yet gets the point across.

Knicks vs Bucks Preview: The Biggest Game Of The Year

For the past couple weeks, every game the Knicks played has been important, every loss impacting their playoff positioning. This being New York, every loss is treated as the end of the line for the Knicks and every win proof that Carmelo/Woodson/Lin/whoever is finally getting it. Saying tonight's game against the Bucks, however, is the biggest game of the year is not hyperbole at all. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the winner tonight will make the playoffs over the loser. This should be treated as a playoff game by everyone involved as it could very likely decide who gets that coveted 8th seed and the right to play the Bulls or Heat in the first round. This is also the biggest regular season game of Carmelo's Knicks career by a long shot. Last season, the Knicks pretty much had the 8th season wrapped up despite an awful stretch in which a Mets like collapse seemed possible, and he had A'mare and Chauncey Billups to fall back on a bit. This year, it's all Melo. With the injuries to Lin and A'mare this is Anthony's team. If they go 7 and 2 in their next 9 games and secure a playoff spot he will be a hero, but if they somehow let the Milwaukee Bucks (of all teams) sneak into the playoffs past them the blame will fall on his shoulders. It might be unfair to expect one guy to carry that much responsibility, but the Knicks didn't trade half their team to come in 9th in the lame ass Eastern conference. It's not win or go home but a win tonight will put the boot to the neck of the Bucks, and a loss will drop the Knicks into 9th, a place they haven't been since Woodsanity began. While the Bucks are no powerhouse, the Knicks have had all sorts of issues in the land of bratwurst and beer dating back to Andrew Lang breaking Ewing's wrist (essentially ending the dominant part of his career) to the recent barrage of losses they've suffered there. The last time the Knicks won in Milwaukee (get this) Eddy Curry hit a 3 pointer to send the game into overtime. Yeah, so weird shit happens when the Knicks play at the Bucks and I expect tonight to be no different. The Knicks have mostly done the opposite of my expectations this season so I'm going to say they pull out a win tonight and put a stranglehold on the 8th spot.

Happy Birthday Clyde Frazier

Clyde Frazier gets a lot of love from everyone in New York City besides Mr. D and Blacky. Although he's from Atlanta originally and spends most of the off season in the islands, he's basically a New York lifer at this point. As arguably the best player on the only two Knicks championship teams, Clyde has a place in the big apple's sports hall of fame for eternity. For those of us not old enough to remember his playing career, he's been the eccentric voice of the Knicks on either the radio or TV for the past 20 years. While best known for his ridiculous vocabulary, and equally ridiculous wardrobe, Frazier is actually a very competent color commentator. With NBA League Pass I'm able to see a wide range of games from all over the country (and Canada) and let me just say that compared to 95% of the other NBA team's broadcast booths, John Sterling is the definition of impartiality. And while someone like Clyde might be forgiven for being a bit of a homer seeing as how he's spent over 40 years working in some capacity for the Knicks, you'd be hard pressed to find a clip of him openly rooting for the Knicks, saying "us" and "we" instead of "them" or imagining elaborate officiating conspiracies against the home team like Tommy Heinsohn or almost every other announcing team. The most you'll get out of him is an occasional "oh yeah" after a great Knicks play or his trademark "all the Knicks with the knack". There's also something nice about him sticking with the Knicks for all these years, almost every other high profile broadcaster moonlights on a national network, but Clyde can be heard only on MSG 3 or 4 nights a week. And yes, there's his way with words. "Swishing and dishing", "wheeling and dealing, "posting and toasting". And on and on it goes. A rookie is a "precocious neophyte", post players jockeying for position are "kung fu fighting", a player on a hot streak is "percolating". Coming from other less cool cats, it might come off as pretentious or obnoxious, but Clyde's the flyest dude in the room. He can get away with it (unless you're Mr. D). And more importantly, he knows basketball so there's substance behind the "effervescent personality" and "sartorial splendor". A Knicks game wouldn't be the same without him.

Clyde, we salute you.

If You Hate Isolations, You Hate NBA Basketball

There's been a lot of controversy circling the Knicks recently as you no doubt know if you read this blog or don't live under a rock, most of it centering on Carmelo Anthony. With Mike D'Antoni out of the picture, all of the scrutiny will be focused on the guy who many people think was the reason for his departure. Everything from his sluggish body language and thuggish attitude to his shot selection has already been picked apart by everyone, and I'll admit there's merit to most of the criticism. One favorite gripe of Melo haters that I don't necessarily agree with, however, is this one: Melo's isolation plays are what's wrong with the Knicks offense. Yes, it's true that he tends to hold on to the ball for too long when the call is for an iso, and he needs to make quicker moves and be a more willing passer. But there seems to be a large population of Knicks fans and Carmelo haters (two groups of which there is much overlap) who think of isolation as a dirty word. Like Carmelo Anthony invented this ugly ruffian, selfish style of basketball in order to get his points like the me-first thug he is. Truth is, the NBA has been dominated by isolation plays for years, like it or not (and many people choose to not like the NBA because of this). While Carmelo may tend to isolate more than other players, what he does is not out of line with much of what the rest of the league runs on a nightly basis. To further complicate matters, Jeremy Lin came out of nowhere and initiated a free flowing offense for 2 weeks, that was pretty God damn fun to watch. It's only natural that this will be viewed as the antithesis to the ugly Melo ball, the "right way to play" as opposed to that other way. It was nice to see everyone sharing the ball and multiple passes every trip down the floor, but the way many Knicks fans have lionized those two weeks of Linsanity is bordering on insanity. The average caller into NY sports talk radio (not that these are the examples of intelligent sports fans but I would say they are a good representation of the average ideas of most NY sports fans) has reimagined those two weeks in February vs the Raptors and Kings as the rebirth of Clyde Frazier to Monroe to Debuscchere. The holy grail of beautiful basketball in all it's glory. Sorry Vinnie in Manhasset, that's not NBA basketball. Melo standing on the wing trying to break down a defender is.

Take a look at the last 20 years of NBA championships, when I think isolation play took over the league just as the superstar did. Not one of the champion teams played a Phoenix Sun, D'Antoni style, every one of the team had a superstar who spent at least half of it's team's possessions isolated on offense (a post up also counts as an iso), and the one team that didn't have any superstars ( the 2004 Pistons) played a drag out half court offense that played to it's bruising strengths. That lovely style of basketball that's so adored by both media members as well as the bandwagon Knicks fans who hadn't watched a game since Ewing, the sweet passes that seemed to sail through the air pushed by the spirit of Bob Cousy, James Naismith and Ghandi. That hasn't won a title since before Magic had HIV. The NBA game is predicated on superstar play, and has been since Michael, Magic and Bird became big money makers. Some times it can bog down the offense and make NBA games boring, other times it can result in amazing singular performances. The best teams mix in a little of both, running at opportune times, moving the ball and also incorporating isolation plays for their stars at the right time. There's been an outpouring of love for teams like Philadelphia and Denver who have like 9 guys each that average 11 points and no one can name 4 players in their starting lineup (in particular Denver who has apparently reinvented basketball since ridding themselves of that black hole, Melo). But you know where those teams will be in June? Watching the games just like me and you. The Knicks have a lot of issues that need solving including how to consistently make shots and defend and rebound, etc. But isolation offenses aren't going anywhere. It's a fact of NBA life. Get over your dreams of a socialist basketball offense where everyone is treated equally, and the wealth is shared. Professional basketball is not like that. There's probably a reason you stopped watching a while ago.

Good Riddance, Mike D'Antoni

And so the national nightmare is over. Mike D. has stepped down as head coach of the Knicks and we here at PTU are pretty happy about it. Our conversations via e-mail and in person and text have been dominated by the West Virginian with the goofy moustache for the last few weeks. He's of course not totally to blame for this fiasco of a season (everyone has underachieved aside from Lin, Chandler, Novak and yes, Jared Jeffries) but it is extremely unlikely that we would have been able to ship any of our other big name problems out of town. Who gets the axe then? Of course the head coach, and I am glad to see him go. We will no longer have to watch another post game press conference that goes like this: "Aw shucks, that other team was purty good, huh? We'll be fiiine, just need to keep the energy up, hyuk!". So ends a disastrous 3 and a half season era of Knicks basketball, marked by a few weeks of excitement, some high scores, putrid defense, lots of unhappy players and lots of losing. There's been talk of the team not respecting the coach for a couple days now, and D'Antoni butted heads with both his star players and his boss. It was only a matter of time before he had to go.

Whoever takes over now will have a tall order but hopefully it will be someone that can adapt their coaching philosophies to their expensive talent, motivate their players to work on the defensive end AS WELL as the offensive, hold players accountable and be respected in the locker room, and not have a moustache. Basically, everything that D'Antoni was not. Well, unless that one guy wants to grow a moustache again.....

Stay tuned, Knicks fans.

The Death of Linsanity

Remember around this time last year when bad boy actor Charlie Sheen took over the world for about a month? His every ridiculous comment or self destructive move was blogged and tweeted about? We couldn't get enough, there was even a catchphrase and a comedy tour. Seems like a million years ago right? Eventually, the Sheen mania died down when we all realized he wasn't really going to die live on television, he went back to being a B level actor, and sobered up. Once the Sheen roast happened on Comedy Central, we all got back to caring about other stuff. I thought about this during the Knicks game the other day when they showed one of those Direct TV commercials where the narrator talks about the increasingly bizarre turns your life will take if you don't subscribe to Direct TV, this one ends with a guy reenacting scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen ("Don't reenact scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen. Get Direct TV"). Something that would have seemed dangerously insane and hilarious a year ago but now seemed like a reference as dated as the movie Platoon itself. And we're probably going to look back at that 3 week Linsanity stretch the same way a year from now. Whereas Sportscenter dedicated it's entire program to Lin before the Knicks 7th straight win against Sacramento exactly 3 weeks ago, now the Knicks Mavs highlights were relegated to the 15 minute mark after Peyton Manning news, the Big East tournament, the Saints bounty scandal and a Heat blowout over the Nets. The back page of the Daily News this morning was a Jets player saying they need to sign Manning. The Knicks game didn't even appear in the sports pages until after Manning, Mets and Yankees spring training recaps and even last night's St. John's loss of all things. To quote Prop Joe, Linsanity is officially a cadaverous motherfucker. How'd it die as fast as it came to life? Besides being the natural progression of wild phenomenons in the Twitter age, there are a few reasons.

First of all, the surprise factor has totally worn off. It's like meeting a new girl. In the beginning it's exciting and new, you can't get enough, but usually within a month you start looking at new prospects. The Asian kid from Harvard dominating games was shocking, but now he's just another guy in shorts. Secondly, the rest of the league has caught on to Lin's tricks. While in the first couple weeks, he was nearly unstoppable driving to the hoop, finishing at the basket with ease, recently when he makes a move towards the basket, teams either block his shot, knock the ball away from behind (as Mr. D pointed out, Lin has patented the lose the ball in the lane and then look at the ref for a foul move) or force him dead in his tracks where he's forced to pivot and shoot fadeaways or try a standstill layup (not a great shot in basketball). During Linsanity, every big shot he took seemed to go in, including the 3's over Dirk, vs. the Lakers, and the game winner against the Raptors that were probably his signature shots of the run, now he can't buy a basket in the clutch. It's gotten so bad that there's been talk of Baron Davis actually finishing games. Can you imagine Baron's name even being in the same sentence as Lin's two weeks ago unless it was "I can't believe we actually thought Baron Davis was going to be our savior before Jeremy Lin"? The third factor in Linsanity's untimely demise were factors beyond anyone's control, well, besides the NBA schedulemakers that is. The combination of the Knicks' brutal lineup of opponents over these past couple weeks and the long lay-off of the all star break has cooled Linsanity considerably. That feel good 7 game winning streak came against some of the worst teams in the league, a 500 Minnesota team, and the Lakers and Jazz who are two of the worst teams in the league on the road. Now they're playing the big boys and it's been ugly. Opposing point guards are obviously fed up with the hype and are putting up their best numbers of the season (in Jason Kidd's and Deron William's case) or Wilt Chamberlain numbers (in Rondo's case) If the Knicks had somehow won the game in Miami before the AS break, then the mania would have only grown for a week. Instead, Lin laid an egg and Linsanity was left to die a slow death. Subpar to awful games over the past week to mostly good competition have only been the nails in the coffin. And yes, all our worst fears about Carmelo and Amare meshing their talents with Lin seem to have come true. Lin's numbers were expected to drop with the return of the Knick's original stars as his attempts went down. But nobody expected his assists to also go down.

This isn't to say that Jeremy Lin's career or even his marketability are dead. He's hit the expected bumps in the road that any first or second year player would hit, never mind a guy who was undrafted and hadn't played practically at all his first season and a half in the league. And he'll still sell t-shirts, jerseys and whatever sneaker Nike is reportedly releasing, particularly to Asians, of which there are a lot of in the world if you didn't know. But the ridiculous hype and chaos that surrounded every little thing Lin did is over, and for that I guess we should be thankful. Now, he's not a symbol of the American dream, or a Hollywood story come to life or whatever, he's just a decent point guard on a mediocre, underachieving basketball team. And if the Knicks don't learn how to beat good teams on the road and develop some team chemistry soon, Linsanity will be looked back on as nothing more than a cruel tease that momentarily brightened another dark season at the Garden. RIP Linsanity.

Knicks vs Hornets Recap: Can't Lin 'em all

It had to come to an end eventually right? With the unbelievable luck the Knicks have had these past two weeks you knew that eventually things would return to at least a semblance of normalcy. The Knicks came out flat against an awful Hornets team and were running uphill the entire game, a hill that proved too steep to climb even for America's sweetheart. Speaking of Lin, he hit a couple of big shots in the 4th, but once again his propensity for turnovers reared it's ugly head (really the only negative that the Knicks have seen during this run) and this time it really cost the team along with the awful three point shooting. Shumpert played with energy when most of the team didn't, but he also played out of control at times. We'll see what happens when the Knicks welcome back Carmelo and also welcome for the first time J.R. "super perp" Smith this Sunday. The team wasn't going to win every game, but you would have hoped the let down wouldn't have happened against the equivalent of a D-league team dressed like a King cake. Hopefully the bandwagon fans haven't tossed all of their Linsanity shirts aside just yet, though, the season is about to get interesting. Or should we say Linteresting? No, let's not say that. The actual Knicks team will be suiting up soon that consists of Carmelo, Lin, Amare and the rest. Let's see what happens, it should be fun despite the disappointment tonight.

Jeremy Lin: A Less Annoying Chinese Tim Tebow

I've been to playoff games, all-star games, games vs. the Lakers and Celtics and other great teams, as well as all types of late season important basketball contests at Madison Square Garden. And, somehow, an early February game between a 9 and 15 Knicks team without Amare Stoudemire and (for most of the game) Carmelo Anthony and a Utah team led by Raja Bell and Al Jefferson that's 2 and 5 on the road for the season ended up being one of the top 5 most exciting, fun games I've ever witnessed. And it wasn't just because the Super Bowl champs were positioned strategically around the court to maximize the good vibes like the Garden always does with the Giants, but because of a short Chinese guy from Harvard named Jeremy Lin. I had such a blast yelling MVP for a guy who before this weekend had a season high of 7 points that I came home and watched the "Knicks in 60" replay while I ate my Honey Bunches of Oats. You hear the announcers saying stuff like "his spirit just lifts the team" and the crowd loves "everything he does" and how after the ball ended up in his hands off a lucky bounce for the game clinching 3 in the final 2 minutes Clyde Frazier said "some things are just meant to be" and I could only think of one comparison. A marginally talented replacement player who makes up for offensive deficiencies with uncanny toughness, deceptive quickness and great finishing who's lifted a losing team out of the doldrums through an infectious spirit that's already developed a fan base and demonstrated the ability to attract casual fans and practically a laughable cult following. Not to mention I saw at least 5 or 6 cheaply made tshirts dedicated to him tonight in the crowd. Yeah, he's the Chinese Tim Tebow.

Of course we're talking about a two game sample here. Lin could finish the rest of the season averaging 4 points and find himself riding the bench or playing in the D-League by the end of April, or could be replaced by Baron Davis (if he ever puts on shorts again which is looking less and less likely with every missed practice), but it's been a good weekend to be an Asian Knicks fan. The crowds at MSG are usually pretty subdued for regular season games that don't involve guys like Kobe or LeBron at least until the 4th quarter, but something weird happens when Lin is in the game. Every move he makes is cheered wildly by the crowd, there's an audible anticipation every time he goes to the hoop. I imagine this is a lot like how Greg Oden was treated by the Blazers fans as Bill Simmons talks about. The guy can do no wrong. Jesus knows the unwarranted hype for Tebow was beyond annoying, but Lin is a far less divisive type of dude, unless you hate Asians I guess. He does have actual point guard skills though and can at least run a simple pick and roll with Chandler, which is more than we can say about the other out of position shooting guards and forwards who were bringing the ball up previously. But that's not all that is great about Linning time. It sounds real corny, but he shares with Tebow that ability to lift a team just by showing up on the court. Take a look at the video below of all of his points and most of his assists. Grown men are giggling like little girls (including the Knicks bench and a couple Giants players) slapping fives and pumping their fists. People have their hands on their heads and their mouths wide open like they just witnessed a miracle. And everyone is smiling from ear to ear. When's the last time that happened at the Garden? Here's a sample of some of the giddy 327 comments on the Knicks Facebook page last night after the game (spelling and grammatical errors included):

Jeremy!!! keep ballin hard with wisdom and with passion bro... to shine the glory of the Gospel ^_^
and :

Jeremy Lin makes me believe impossible.
let's not forget:

May be the missing piece of the puzzle
and of course:

林 加油 我们华人都支持你


Jeremy might be a born again Christian like Tebow as well but that will always come second to him being an Asian American- the first to ever play in the NBA. Tebow is another blue eyed blond haired white person who is also an outspoken Christian, which totally dominates his narrative. Lin is the little Asian guy that could, his religious beliefs aren't important to anyone. It's sort of part of being Asian that you grow to accept racist jokes (it doesn't bother me) and Carmelo's bow seems to be something like that, but I'm hoping it can become the new "Tebowing". However long the love fest lasts, at least we have something exciting to wake us up from this miserable season. He's making all of us believe impossible for at least a weekend. Behold the greatness if you haven't already in the video below:

Is It Time To Panic?

I usually reserve judgment on a team until at least a third of the season has passed, and in this shortened NBA season that time frame should probably be adjusted a bit what with the lack of practice time and an adequate preseason. Except the Knicks look like garbage. And not just any garbage that can be easily cleaned up or taken out to the curb on a Monday night. No, hot, stinky, wet garbage that sits in the middle of one of those old ladies houses on Hoarders. I'm usually optimistic in that obnoxious way that only a Yankee fan can be (and I give Mets fans like Snoot and M@d $cientist a hard time about their intrinsic sad sack rooting style) but after witnessing nearly a month of Knicks 2012 basketball I can say with confidence that they are not a good team. A certain lack of timing is expected with barely any practices after an extended offseason, but even keeping that in mind, there are serious flaws with this team. We all knew letting Chauncey Billups angrily take off for Lob City would be a downgrade at point guard, but did anyone think Toney Douglas would be THIS BAD? Toney's a solid back up guard that can bring the ball up (I hesitate to call him a point guard) but as a starter, he makes me yearn for the glory days of Howard Eisley and Moochie Norris. When he's not hitting his 3 (as he has not been doing with remarkable consistency since he got yanked from the starting lineup) or little tear drop, he's absolutely useless as a person. Iman Shumpert has been a pleasant surprise with his defense and hustle, but we can't expect a rookie to run the point, especially one that goes 5 for 20 from the floor and doesn't seem to know how to throw a pass. It's gotten to the point that Knicks fans have resorted to holding out hope for a savior in Baron Davis. The often injured, usually overweight guy who has been known to quit on a team or two. Still, he'd be an upgrade (the white chick from Hang Time would be at this point) and would at least be able to run a simple pick and roll.

Besides the tragic point guard situation, there are other pot holes on the way to that victory parade that idiots envisioned when the Knicks signed the over rated Tyson Chandler. Surprisingly, defense isn't the biggest problem on a Mike D'Antoni coached team. Sure, they mostly suck on defense, switching on every opposing team's pick and roll resulting in horrible mismatches and allowing mediocre players like Ryan Anderson to look like Reggie Miller, but Chandler and Shumpert have been very good defenders and the team's been able to show flashes of holding teams down. The problem is the offense. It's been beyond terrible. Mike's basic set seems to be give the ball to Carmelo, let him hold it for 15 seconds and then either throw it up towards the hoop or pass to some other guy who has no idea what to do on a basketball court. Where's the movement and dynamic shooting that was a staple of the offensive genius's best teams? Sadly, I don't see anything changing until D'Antoni and his moustacheless brother are out on 33rd St. wondering what went wrong and if they can get tickets to see Jersey Boys.

Is it time to panic? Yes. This is a team that is flawed in very important areas for a basketball team (mainly point guard, bench and the ability to shoot a basketball) that probably won't be easily fixed even with time and practice. The best hope the beleaguered Knicks fan base has right now is that Baron Davis comes back to at least play what resembles a point guard (something they don't have right now) and the team's ice cold shooting picks up a little. Or else, it's going to be a long 4 months at the Garden.

Happy Birthday, John Starks; We Love/Hate you

Today is grocery worker turned Knicks hero/goat John Starks' 46th birthday. The majority of people in the world (outside of the tri-state) are probably indifferent to Starks, but only remember two things about him: his dunk against the Bulls and his terrible game 7 of the NBA Finals. That's really all you need to know about Starks, actually. That, and he was basically a loser who couldn't crack an NBA lineup to save his life, drifting from rinky dink basketball leagues like the CBA and various training camps to eventually the ever popular "grocery bagger" storyline. He was basically Kurt Warner without the talent, wife with the lesbian haircut and of course, the championship ring.

Most Knicks fans have a love/hate relationship with number 3 or they just hate him. A lot of New Yorkers, like my brother and M@d $cientist, listed John as their favorite Knicks for years. We always heard about how he embodied everything that New Yorkers stood for. He was tough, wouldn't back down from anyone (he fought with Jordan and literally butted heads with the hated Reggie Miller) and made up for what he lacked in talent with hard work and grit. Most New York area basketball people will tell you that the Knicks fans will put up with losing as long as you work hard doing it. Lazy bums like the Knicks pre Amare and Carmelo were examples of the opposite type of player; the guy who collected a huge check but didn't earn it on the court, and Knicks fans showed their anger. Starks never had anything handed to him and worked his way to eventually being an all-star one season, the year after his shining moment in game 2 against the Bulls (I still have the poster of "the Dunk" somewhere in my parents' house). But, at the same time, Starks was an example of the type of guy who could make you scream and hurl Snapple bottles at the tv screen. Hot headed and impulsive, he'd sometimes ruin games with his temper (check out Ewing and Oakley's reactions to the Miller head butt if you can find video of it) or his relentless three point gunning. If he felt shown up by another player or he made a couple threes, you knew that the ball was going up every time it touched his hands, for better or worse. He also fed off his own bottled up energy so much, that he would sometimes psych himself out of games. Case in point: the Game 6 against Miami in 1997 that took place after half of the Knicks team was suspended for wandering off the bench, John was so jacked up off the energy of the crowd and all the hoopla, he dribbled the ball off his foot the first two times he touched the ball. This is probably what happened in game 7, and frankly, the guy deserves some hate for it. Whatever being clutch means or if it exists, we can all agree that being calm under pressure is something that all great players needed and John just didn't have it. It's unfair to expect a guy from Oklahoma who worked at the local Safeway to be the Pippen to Ewing's Jordan, but most Knicks fans would have settled for a Steve Kerr at least.

So, if you clicked on PTU today and saw that ridiculous Slam cover (sorry if I overuse the Slam covers, but there just so god damn awesome) you either said "That son of a bitch Starks! I'll never forgive him!" or said "It's Starks birthday? Who cares?"...wait, let me start over. You probably don't care either way about Starks's birthday but you most likely feel one of two ways about the guy: he's the biggest asshole ever, who ruined your youth and if he could have shot 30% in the biggest game of his life, the Knicks would have a championship in your lifetime, or you remember him as a hero of your childhood who overcame the odds and provided a great memory and poster for your bedroom. Either way, the guy is now a Knicks lifer (he works some made-up job title for the Knicks now) and we wish him a happy 46th.

Seriously, though, 2 FOR 18?!?!?!?

A Quick History of Jean Shorts

Even though PTU commenter Shank's new favorite player, Shumpert, got most of the attention last week, the Knicks did pick up another player in the draft. Josh Harrellson, a big lumbering white center from Kentucky who they threw a couple bucks to the Hornets for. From what I understand, he's a good rebounder who can take up some space under the basket but more importantly, the man's nickname is "Jorts". The team gave him the name because he happened to wear some rather short denim shorts to a team meeting early in his college career and I guess it stuck, but that automatically gives him the best nickname on the team (sorry STAT).

Yes, jean shorts have made a comeback this year (mostly on women) but there is a long dynamic history of jean shorts. Let's take a stroll down jorts lane:

200 B.C.:
While drawing on walls in caves, prehistoric man also stumbled upon an alarming fashion trend: jeans that are also shorts. Many of the more snooty cave-men think the jean short wearers are trying to be black.

1960s:
James Dean starts a fashion craze with his iconic leather jacket and jeans look, instantly making the denim look a sign of cool rebellion. His jean shorts look didn't make as much of an impact.

1970s:

Daisy Duke wears jean shorts on the "Dukes of Hazzard" and creates a frenzy of horny jean short enthusiasts.


1990s:
By this point, jean shorts have officially become the signature outfit for any wigger or actual black person, or simply anyone who wants to appear as if they hang out at Friendly's on a friday night and take vicodin recreationally. Jean shorts are available in every color in the rainbow. Eventually, hipsters in Brooklyn and the Lower East Side and crack heads begin cutting their shorts to create makeshift jean shorts. Usually spotted at McCarren Park kicking ass in their Sunday kickball league or smoking crack, respectively. In either situation, jean shorts are the preferred look.

2000's:

John Cena becomes the unofficial jean shorts ambassador. Also releases a rap album and does whatever else he can to keep the wigger nation alive while simultaneously killing it until Detective Holder on The Killing revived it.

Mid 2000's:
Derrick Coleman dons a pair of jean shorts in the NBA Street video game, originally known as NBA Perps.

2011:


The era of the jean shorts has returned. Not only are they now fashionable as everyone from rail-thin runway models to abusive shit-bag Chris Brown have thrown on a pair recently, but the Knicks now finally have their very own jean shorts wearing center. Ewing had the bathrobe, but Harrellson (seen above wearing what I can only assume is jorts) will lead this new generation of Knicks in a slightly different choice of attire. The future of basketball is here, and it's wearing jean shorts.

The 2011 Kemba Walker NBA Draft

With the NBA Draft going down this Thursday, I wanted to give PTU readers a little preview of what is GUARANTEED to happen.

Kyrie Irving will be going #1 to the Cavs. His college career - including injuries, limited playing time, and unearned potential that comes from playing for Duke - should be a red flag for any team looking to draft him. Instead, the Cavs will pick him up, couple him with a big guy at #4, and hope that this 1-2 combo will lead them back to respectability. Derick Williams and Kanter - going #2 and #3 - will both have better careers than Irving.

Kemba the Great will probably go at #8 to Detroit, the home of the Motown Marxist - whom will probably be reading some weird science magazine at the time and who seems to prefer hockey anyways. Wizards could steal him at #6 (if they're smart).

Jimmer, the Great White Hope, will go at #12 to the Jazz and proceed to have a very underwhelming NBA career. Look for him as a 7th man with limited NBA minutes.

As for the Knicks: if they do not make a trade, they will end up with Marshon Brooks, some boring asshole out of Providence. If they decide to step up and make a big move (which they should), they'll trade up a few spots and get Bismack Biyombo - the athletic African with the 86'' vertical. Most likely, the Knicks will trade Toney D for Flynn, then get some scrub in the draft that won't do anything - thus leaving them with Fields (overrated), Flynn (kinda sucks), and 90 year old Billups in their backcourt, with Jared Jeffries (scum of the earth) to provide defense/rebounding. Knicks fans: pray for BiYAMbo.

Biggest trade of the draft: Dwight Howard? Pau Gasol? Not quite. The T'Wolves, looking to trade Beasley while his stock is high (after having the best statistical season of his career), will ship out the underachieving perp to the Wizards for the #18 pick. This way, the T'Wolves will use the #2 pick to fill B-Easy's void with Derick Williams, and then they can use (or trade away)picks #18 and #20. The Wizards, on the other hand, will combine Beasley, McGree, and Wall to form a young group of perpy players. Then, they will still have other picks in the draft - including the #6 - to build around them.

This Thursday: stay tuned.....

They Don't Care and They Don't Have To

After the ugly orange t-shirts have been cleaned up off the streets, and Lupica's dotted the i's on his last sappy article about how this little team from this big city just couldn't hang with the big, bad Celtics, we're left to think about the future of the Knicks and what could have gone differently during this season. Another year without a playoff win, even if there's a little bit more hope. This one hurt for the fans, as we watched the Knicks come a Jared Jeffries play and Ray Allen 3 from winning two games in Boston and then witnessed a Celtic domination at the Garden. The players must be close to doing their best mid-season Miami Heat impressions in the locker room, right? Get the tissues ready:

"We showed y'all...we figured it out" a smiling Melo said in the locker room after this Boston Big 3's first ever sweep, and beatdown of the Knicks "The sky's the limit".

What a brave face he's putting up. How about the hobbling Amare? He must be really broken up and pissed off that he had no help around him and Melo and had to make a go of it with a bad back. What did he have to say?:

"The 'Knicks are back' statement is definitely true'".

Ok. So these aren't the Lakers crying on the bench when their run came to an end, or Kobe and Michael calling their team-mates out as gay losers for letting them down, but should us fans expect these millionaire players to get as worked up as we are over losses? Not at all. These guys I'm sure followed up these statements with a quick shower, got their jewelry that is worth as much as your parents' house from a guy from their block that they pay your annual salary to hold onto, got in their cars you can't pronounce correctly (or can they most likely), went to 10ak and helped get Roger Mason Jr. laid yet again ("seriously, baby, I play for the Knicks"). They had a bad couple weeks at work, but nothing that will affect their job security (at least not those two guys). At the end of the day, they're still living the dream: getting paid unbelievable amounts of dough to do what they love. Why should they be mad? Some guys might pretend like they're really pissed off after losing for the media, but as anyone who saw Melo's appearances on SNL can tell you, acting is not his strong suit.

For hard-core fans like us here at PTU, or anyone else who lives and dies with their team, the initial reaction to laughing and care-free attitudes like Carmelo shows on the court is anger. The body language looks lazy and disinterested. How dare they laugh it up while my entire weekend is ruined! We invest a lot of time and money into these teams, and when they lose or don't put up an effort, we feel cheated. But athletes aren't obligated to be as broken up as us fans are over losses. They lose all the time, and frankly, have much better lives than we do outside of their profession. Being a fan means you already are having an irrational reaction to what another man is doing just because he has your city (or doesn't) across his chest. It's just like in "A Bronx Tale", when Sonny told Cologero that Mickey Mantle doesn't care about you or pay your rent so why should you care about him? I'm not going to stop being a Yankee fan like C did (or start dating a black chick and run errands for the Mob) but the basic premise that "these guys don't care about you, why should you care about them?" is true. While there are exceptions, such as Kobe or Paul O'Neill and other less demonstrative players, the average superstar athlete doesn't spend the next week wondering about what could have gone differently. They've got awesome lives to lead.

To reference another crappier less gangster movie, in the Farrelly Brother's "Fever Pitch", there's a scene where Jimmy Fallon's super fanatical douche-bag Red Sox fan character is at a restaurant after the Yankees have gone up 3-0 on the Sox in 2004 and sees Johnny Damon and a couple other players laughing and having dinner at a near by table. His first reaction is anger, but then he realizes these guys are just doing their job, and they're still going to go on and live their lives. They don't really care in the larger sense how badly they played or if they lost. If they got as broken up as we did over losses they'd never get out of bed in the morning. The point I'm trying to make (and one that Mr.D and the rest of us have discussed) is that part of being a fan is to get unreasonably upset or happy about teams and people who really have nothing to do with our lives other than providing entertainment; it might seem like some athletes don't care as much as we do (and maybe they don't) but they really don't have to.