Please God NO!

He's baaaack. Or if the reports are correct, he is. I have to admit, I shuddered a little even searching for images of this dude.

I guess we can't blame D'Antoni and Walsh. We've possibly got a good thing going here, just came off what is probably the best win of the year, but something was missing. That's right, the Knicks just don't have enough players whose face can single handedly repulse entire defenses. So now that Houston has wised up and shed Jeffries contract, let's go pick up the man with the 3 foot range jump shot and hands of stone.

I don't mean to pick on poor Jared but I'd rather have Jared from Subway playing back up power forward.

Of course, I'm over reacting and he's not really going to get much playing time. Who knows, maybe in short spurts he could actually be good for something. But the whole thing just reminds me of the Isiah era that we all finally just washed ourselves clean of and that is not a good thing. He is after all one of Isiah's guys. Went to Indiana and can be scrappy. I was at the game when he backed Melo all the way down to 8th ave. This may mean that Zeke is in the background somewhere advising, despite what Dolan says to the contrary. Let's just hope this isn't a sign of things to come.

For fun, here's the video of that fight. This should do wonders for team chemistry:

Channing Frye: Assassin?

That's right, Channing Frye. Most NBA fans (at least in New York) have probably forgotten he's existed over these past few seasons but he's carved out an interesting career for himself, somehow becoming a three point specialist in Phoenix. And now, in consecutive games he's hit DAGGER game-winners, yesterday in Indiana and tonight ruining Deron William's first home game for Bottle's favorite team.

Originally drafted by the Knicks in the 05 season, Frye had a promising rookie year. He then regressed a little his second year and was eventually traded to Portland for Zack Randolph before winding up in Phoenix. What happened from there has surprised the hell out of me. It's true that a lot of guys look like great 3 point shooters playing with Steve Nash (Q and Jason Richardson, Raja Bell, Leandro Barbosa) but Channing has gone from a decent post player who rarely ever took a shot further than 18 feet to becoming almost exclusively a 3 point bomber and now a late game hero. Check out his numbers then and now:

2005-06: 9 three point attempts for the season
2008-09: 33 three point attempts for the season
2009-10: 703 THREE POINT ATTEMPTS for the season

That's nuts. I've seen players reinvent themselves because of injury, age or laziness (see Walker, Antoine for all of the above) or their stats become inflated due to a particular offensive system, but this guy totally changed his game in his 5th season in the league. Now he seems to be taking on the role of clutch shooter too. Good for him for finding his niche.

Keeping It Real Gas Station Sign

I would like to nominate this sign for keeping it real sign of the year. One stop shopping for fried chicken, check cashing, phone cards and lotto.

Observations From A Baseball Spring Training Game

While for some people the start of spring training puts them to sleep, for me it is an exciting time of year despite the fact I am a Mets fan and have nothing to look forward to. While on vacation in Florida last week, I had the opportunity to attend the Phils at Yanks Spring Training opener. While you can't judge much from one spring training game, a couple of observations:

• They made a huge deal about George passing away. They handed out pins with his name on it, had a military color guard, and even had Navy jets flyover. Probably going to be the theme for the season, although you will still read many articles trying to cast him in a negative light.
• Colon was only okay versus the Phillies backup team and there are already rumors that the Yankees are looking to trade for Liriano.
• A-Rod hit the ball well. Also, one potential replacement for Jeter, Eduardo Nunez, looked like he was playing hard. Hit the ball well and had a stolen base. Reading up on him though looks like a lot of raw talent but not consistent.
• Phillies fans were there in full force preparing to do awful things this year like vomit on small children.
• Nothing to do with this game, but on the Mets front Ollie Perez looked awful his first time out...someone please pay this bum to go away and stop coming out to play.
• The biggest news in Tampa was the giant house that Derek Jeter just built. Apparently it is about the size of a small Best Buy. 

I know we have a lot of basketball left (and hockey for whoever was defending the sport in response to Bottle), but personally I'm looking forward to baseball. 

Top 20 Beef Songs

18. Nail in the Coffin- Eminem dissing Benzino (2003)
I recently wrote about how badly Eminem has fallen off as a rapper since he stopped using drugs and age has caught up to him. This 03 track was made during the phase right after his prime and just before his decline (kind of like Larry Bird during the 1989-90 season).

It was also during this period of time that 50 cent and G-unit (and by association Eminem and Shady Records) were in the midst of what seemed like a never ending beef with Ja Rule and his Murder Inc. label. Hip hop magazine XXL had hitched its wagons with Shady Aftermath and basically put someone involved with the label on the cover every month. The Source Magazine (once a respected rap magazine, at this point the National Enquirer of rap) conversely, aligned themselves with Ja and co. This would lead to Ray Benzino (part owner of The Source and a really, really awful rapper from Boston) to begin a smear campaign against Em (who already had an uneasy relationship with the magazine), including accusations that he was a racist (complete with tapes of a teenage Slim Shady saying the "N" word no less).

So began probably the most one sided battle in rap history. One of the most lyrically gifted rappers (who at the time was the face of the most popular music label in the world) vs. Ray Benzino. Needless to say, Ray got torn to shreds. They went back and forth for a little while, Benzino referencing Em's problems with his mother, his being white, etc. It didn't really matter though. As is the white boy's m.o. he basically takes whatever taunts you could possibly have for him and says them about himself. You can't diss a guy who disses himself. Plus, he was a 1,000,000 times better rapper.

Out of the 5 or 6 tracks Marshall released around this time getting at Benzino, this one pretty much ended it (hence the title).

Best line :

"Vanilla Ice spill the beans and rice, I'm eating you alive inside, Jesus Christ, if you're that much of a gangster put the mic down, you should be out killing motherfu#$%@s right now"

Why would someone watch this?

If the above picture reminds you of your adolescence, then you have a reason to watch hockey. For the other 99% of people who live in New York City, there is absolutely no reason to enjoy this sport. You might as well get into bull-riding or bass fishing. Move to Canada, Russia, or some other random place where you ice-skate to school and 30 degree weather is considered a warm front. The only people in New York City who like hockey are civil service employees who are looking to get plastered and start a fight.

Besides, what other sports contain only white players? Unless the Ku Klux Klan sponsors an athletic association, I really don't know of any. The South lost the war like 150 years ago - might be time to diversify.

Please stop broadcasting this crap in America.

Best Sports to Play Drunk

I went bowling for the first time in probably 10 years the other night and wouldn't you know it, I had a great time. The game itself is nothing special but the best part about it is without a doubt the fact that you can get really plastered and still enjoy it. In fact, it's encouraged. It's great.

So, what are the top 5 best sports to play while twasted and what should you stay sober to enjoy? (Of course, alcohol is required to enjoy WATCHING all sports).

Top 5 Best sports to play while drinking

1. Bowling
As I said, I had a blast. There's barely any movement involved here except getting your fat drunk ass up every 5 minutes and throwing a ball at pins. Also the best sport to eat buffalo wings while playing

2. Golf
Sure, golf requires eye-hand coordination and other annoying things that don't come as easy when you're drunk. But there's a hell of a lot of standing around. Also, best sport to smoke cigarettes while playing.

3. Foosball
This is a sport right?

4. Volley Ball
Especially on a beach,alcohol is a must to have fun playing this

5. Touch Football
Beer makes you unstoppable in the open field

Top 5 worst sports to play while drinking

1. Tackle Football
Or just hit someone in the stomach while their gut is full of beer

2. Full court Basketball
After Bottle's College Graduation party and about 5 or 6 pitchers of Coors Light, one of the guys we were playing against said "you guys smell like a brewery". I guess he meant it as a bad thing

3. Ice Hockey
See number 1

4. Marathon running
I've never tried this but I've seen how many people vomit when they run marathons sober. After reading this, I'm sure it's not a good idea

5. Archery

R.I.P. Duke Snider

Duke Snider, one of the best players on the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers World Series Championship team, died this morning. Even though his greatness in center field was overshadowed by Mays and Mantle at the time, Snider was elected to the hall of fame and helped bring Brooklyn it's only professional sports championship of any kind. PTU salutes ya, Duke.

Rivalry Renewed?

The major news outlets in New York as well as most of the rest of the usual sports yakkers have been promoting tonight's match up between The Heat and The Knicks as a possible return to the glory days of the '90s. It was back in those days that the two then Eastern Conference powers battled it out seemingly every season in the playoffs, forming one of the most tense (and often brutal to watch) rivalries in all of sports.

Here at PTU we might have a tendency to glorify the '90s, but that being said, before we all get ahead of ourselves and say "Knicks Heat is back!", there are some pretty obvious differences between those fondly remembered days and whatever it is that might begin tonight.

Firstly, those games were for the most part an eyesore, holding the rest of the nation outside of New York and Miami hostage as the two teams struggled to score a combined 140 points on most nights. Tonight, as well as in the games that will probably follow between the two, I wouldn't be surprised to see one team score 120 themselves. Then, a final score usually looked something like 72-70. Now, that's not unbelievable as a halftime score the way the Knicks play defense and the Heat can score in a blink.

Secondly, those teams absolutely hated each other. ESPN had a great piece today breaking down the particularly ugly moments of the many series and you can see why. Pat "The Snake" Riley (or Rat Riley as Lupica used to call him, take your pick) and his ugly divorce from the Knicks made sure that this wasn't just a bunch of guys playing for an eastern conference championship. They really didn't like each other. Even the Van Gundy brothers didn't speak when their teams played each other. Fast forward to 2011 and the big stars of the new "rivalry", LeBron, Melo, Wade, Stoudemire, etc. may as well have a sleep over after the game. These guys are all good friends off the court. Could you imagine Dan Majerle and Latrell Sprewell going out for dinner after the game? Or P.J. Brown and Charlie Ward having a beer after body slams?

Finally, the biggest difference between the current Knicks-Heat games and the storied rivalry of the past is the lack of real drama. The Heat haven't won anything yet although they should cruise to a divisions title and are going to be a Vegas favorite to make it far in the playoffs and the Knicks are still barely over .500, who should be more concerned with The Sixers then what Miami's doing. If these two teams can manage to both be serious contenders at the same time (which I think they will at some point) then we might have, at least, a fun competition between two good basketball teams. But, let's not kid ourselves, it's nothing like the '90s.

T-Mac 2.0?

Durant is currently positioned as the guy not quite as good as Kobe or Lebron, but with the potential to be the best player in the league for the next 10+ years. How will he do that? He's gotta man-up and prove it THIS YEAR in the playoffs.
Last year he was roughed up by Artest in the first round and had an overall lackluster series. This year hes got the pieces around him. Hes got his Scottie Pippen in Westbrook, hes got the big guy in the middle in Perkins... Harden is slowly developing... Ibaka has size and athleticism. In other words, hes got more than enough to make a deep playoff run. Lebron, in comparison, had MUCH less to work with in Cleveland and was relatively close to winning a title.
Durant's gotta come up with big individual performances, hit big shots down the stretch, BE CLUTCH. Jordan has trouble with tough teams like the Pistons and the Celtics early in his career. For Durant, the major obstacle is the Lakers. This year he wont play them in the first round, so that part shouldn't be a problem. If he ends up playing the Spurs, he's gotta lead his team past them. NO ONE on the Spurs should be able to hold him.
The only teams the Thunder should lose to this year are the Lakers or the Celtics. Anyone else and Durant didn't do enough.

Does he have the killer instinct in him or will he end up as one of those guys who was incredibly gifted but couldn't take it to the next level? We'll see.........

The "The" Bands

General consensus is that, with the exception of Radiohead, rock music has sucked since the early 90's. Looking back, I have a fond appreciation of the "The" bands that hit radio in the late 90's into the 2000's. This garage rock revival spawned a dozen or so bands and totally changed the Lower East Side into dirty-white-guy-hipsterville, thus causing Hater J's blood pressure to skyrocket.

BEST OF THE BUNCH

1- The White Stripes: Jack White knows how to keep it rockin'. "Elephant" was arguably the best album of this entire sub-genre.

2- The Strokes: My personal favorite, although they peaked with their first album. No one better captured late drunken nights in the Village, hitting on NYU girls at tiny hole-in-the-wall
bars. "Life seems unreal/can we go back to your place?"

3- The Libertines: Huge in the U.K. while pretty unheralded in the U.S. Babyshambles were cool too.

4- The Killers: Hit some high points on their albums although they are altogether inconsistent. Flowers really needs to man-up.

5- The Hives: Their big album was clearly the most overlooked among this scene. Too bad the rest of their music wasn't as good. Interestingly, I think they're the only band from this movement not from the U.S. or the U.K.

6- Arctic Monkey: The slow song (with "have you been drinking son, do you don't look old enough to me/I'm sorry officer, is there a certain age I'm supposed to be?") was real cool. Good music for dancing with NYU girls. "Put on your dancing shoes, you sexy little swine".

OTHER BANDS THAT WEREN'T AS GOOD

The Darkness (Queen rip-off), The Vines (singer went nuts), The Donnas (they're okay), The Moldy Peaches (???), The Dandy Warhols (seemed annoying). Who were that other band that sang "Cold Hard Bitch"? I'm glad I don't remember, they were some commerical nonsense.

HONORABLE MENTION

The Yeah Yeah Yeah's. I wouldn't include them with the other bands since they are more of an artsy, hip city band. They made some great music over the last decade, with Karen O becoming one of the best female singers of all-time. I'd yam.


Did I forget any bands?

What does everyone else think about this movement?

Mike D May Not Be the Answer...Bring Back Pat

After last night's awful loss, I'm not ready to completely write off Mike D'Antoni. Teams that are finding their way and learning to gel take some time to figure things out and get into rhythm. In another month the Knicks will be playing better ball, and come playoff time they may pull a mild first round upset. That is a huge change from what fans have dealt with for 10+ years.

In D'Antoni's time here, the Knicks went from a bad team that was unwatchable, to a bad team that was fun to watch, to a middle of the road Eastern Conference team. This season has provided some great wins and some bad losses. It's due in large part to the inconsistency of a team overly reliant on perimeter shooting who plays no defense. The addition of Melo and Billups, along with their ability to get to the line on nights that the jumpers aren't falling should take care of the scoring consistency issue. However, what about the "D"?

D'Antoni deserves to coach this team for the rest of the season and all of next season. Knicks fans should wait just a bit to see if this offense only approach can produce results. I doubt it will, but that leaves the question of who should come in.

I would love to see Pat Ewing back in the Garden. Just think about it a minute. From the X and O's standpoint, he's studied under both Van Gundy's and was coached by Riley. People inside the league seem to respect his ability and the work he's done. From a more nostaligic angle, the last NY Knicks renaissance began with him, and how awesome would it be to see Pat lead the team to relevancy while giving interviews in huge knee pads/ice packs, and that awful old blue robe?

Any thoughts?

Calm Down, Knicks Fans

Ok, everyone, step off the ledge, put down the lighter you were about to use on your new number 7 Anthony jersey and hang up the phone you were going to use to cancel MSG on your cable subscription.

IT'S ONLY ONE GAME.

The game just ended about an hour and a half ago and already I've seen Facebook and Twitter posts crying about the same old Knicks, etc. I'm sure whoever hosts the late night shows on WFAN and ESPN radio are fielding calls from frantic Knicks fans demanding D'Antoni's firing and proclaiming this trade a failure. Same goes for the callers into that drunk on NY1's late night show.

Well, everyone can calm down. It's just one game. Melo, Billups, Amare and the rest have had literally 3 days together. I don't care if you assembled the original dream team in 1992 and had them play a game on the road after 3 days...actually they'd kick the Cavs' ass but anyway, the point is let's not get carried away either way. The Knicks aren't going to win a championship this year (sorry bandwagon) and they're not going to lose every game like they did tonight. We all saw what happened with the Heat and they had a full training camp and preseason together. They got it together and are now a second level elite team in this league. One thing that we're all going to have to get used to is winning expectations. About 2 months ago the Knicks lost to these same Cavs and nobody cared. Expectations can be a bitch.

So, take it easy Knicks fans (old and new). The Knicks might just beat Miami or Orlando in a couple days. And then they might lose to some more bum ass teams. But we're all paying attention right?

What the F%$# is This Man Thinking?

Danny Ainge made what might might be the most unpopular trade in Boston history. Ok, maybe trading Babe Ruth was a little worse than trading Kendrick Perkins but this trade is not only really hated in Boston, but I don't really understand it either. On paper, I guess it makes sense to move a guy with bad knees for a younger, more offensively talented player and a serviceable European center who's not afraid to hit someone over the head with a chair. But all I've heard from the Celtics these past couple years is how important Perk is to the team, how if he were healthy for Game 7 last year the game wouldn't have even been close, about what a leader in the locker room he is, how he really symbolizes the Boston toughness alongside K.G.

Now, they trade him and lil' Nate (3 Finals appearances combined) for Jeff Green and Nenad Krstic (a combined 27 playoff games experience)? Now, you place the franchises' hopes on a gamble that Shaq will somehow stay healthy throughout the entire playoff run. That's about as likely as Garnett starting a fight with someone his own size. I've heard rumors that Ainge knows more than he wants to let on about the severity of Perkin's knee problems and wanted to get rid of him before it got any worse. That might be the only explanation for a trade as crazy as this. So Danny, F$&% are you thinking?

Read more about it here

PTU Oscars Preview

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how often the Grammy voters are wrong and what a pointless bore that show is.The Oscars is somehow an even more pointless and boring mess of a show, except unlike the Grammys I think people actually care about who wins or loses the big awards. Sure, it's not nicknamed the gay super bowl for nothing, as the show is more about what people are wearing or will drunkenly say during an acceptance speech, but the actual winners of the awards seem to have an impact. I doubt too many people were driven to go get The Suburbs after the grammys, but I know a lot of people who will run out to see whatever wins best picture if they haven't already seen it.

So, enough yakkity yak, here's Johnny Bagel's Oscar picks.

Best Actor

Colin Firth for The King's Speech.

I usually hate movies about British history, but this movie was really well done and Colin Firth as the stuttering king better win this category.

Best Actress

Natalie Portman for Black Swan.

Girl on girl Oscar action!

Best Director

David Fincher for The Social Network.

I think it'll be shut out in all the other big categories so I pick Fincher, who added his dark style to this hugely popular movie.

Best Picture

The King's Speech.

Yeah, that's right. It was that good.

And now, the most keeping it real moment in Oscar history!

Are the Heat in Trouble?

I know, I know. Last time everyone counted out the Heat we were all forced to shut our LeBron hating mouths as they ran off 19 wins in 20 games including an ugly Christmas slaughter in the Staples Center. Still, as we come down the home stretch of the NBA marathon season I think we can properly assess the teams who haven't made huge moves. As of right now, Miami doesn't seem ready to play with the big boys.

They are now 1 and 7 against the elite teams in the league (Dallas, Chicago, Boston and L.A., they haven't played the Spurs yet) after last night's loss to Chicago (their one win against the sleepy Lakers on Christmas) and they are still struggling in close games, something that will obviously be a problem come playoff time. Last night, Rupaul went 1 for 18 for the game and down the stretch with the Bulls barely holding onto a lead they seemed to rush a couple of shots, including a LeBron 3 (with Chicago up by as much) drifting to his left that hit nothing but glass. They've lost to Chicago twice now (although once was without Bron) and it's well documented as to how thoroughly Boston has dominated them.

"But Bagels", you say, "your second favorite team, The vaunted world champion Lakers, have a terrible record against the elite teams. Why you hatin' on the Heat for?" Well, even though I'm not real excited about the Lakers season thus far, they have proven in the past that they can turn it on in the playoffs. Boredom or over confidence is not something that this untested Miami team should struggle with.

Maybe they'll get it together in the next couple of months and make all of us happy Heat haters look silly again, but it seems like (at least for this season) there may be some problems in the playoffs for Miami.

Keeping it real candidate: CHARLIE SHEEN

After partying with porn stars, blowing huge mounds of coke, and destroying a hotel room, Charlie was criticized by the producers of "Two And A Half Men". When he recently responded, he was fired. Never one to be intimidated by the Hollywood bigwigs, here was Charlie's response to the producer of his former show:

"What does this say about Chuck Lorre after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows... I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth."

Then: "I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words - imagine what I could have done with my fire-breathing fists.

Finally, regarding how he will heal from his addiction: "in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his un-evolved mind cannot process".

Greatest response of all-time to getting fired?

More Politicians In Funny Pictures

Don't adjust your computers, you haven't stumbled onto some weird Asian furry fetish site, that's Oregon State Rep. David Wu in the latest set of embarrassing politician photos. These photos which he sent to staff members during campaign time (they obviously have never heard of a little tension breaking photography) are said to be a prime example of the increasingly strange behavior of Mr. Wu. His people are blaming it on medication he is on to treat his mental problems of course. Weather or not pictures of public servants in furry costumes are any one's business is debatable but I think it's safe to say that Big Tigger up there is not what you want representing your state.

Read about it and see more pics (if you're into that sort of thing) here.

Perp Shoe of the Week

I couldn't decide which Pennies to focus on for this week's Perp shoe so I said "screw it" and decided to dedicate this installment to the man's entire collection. Most kids who wear the rereleased versions that Nike regurgitates every couple months probably are confused as to why a guy who only played 4 or 5 really great seasons in the league and was last seen limping around with Marbury's Knicks would deserve such awesome kicks. Well, truth is in those first few seasons with Orlando before the devastating injuries Anfernee was one bad man. A 6'7'' point guard who could pass, score and jump, Penny was the coolest dude on the court for a few years in the late 90s and was well deserving of some of the greatest sneakers Nike ever produced.


I like all of these but special attention should be paid to the blue foamposites, one of the first non-Jordan Nikes I can remember that didn't have a prominent swoosh. They've since been rereleased in a corny swoosh version.

DREAM Act or a security nightmare?

The DREAM Act, which is currently being argued over on Capital Hill, would allow minors who were brought to the country as illegal immigrants to eventually establish citizenship. The debate goes like this: if a minor is brought to this country illegally, without a say (since they're a minor), why should they have to face deportation? Consider the case of a young person who shows strong moral character, who does well in school, supports his country, shows all the characteristics of an ideal American citizen. Since they grew up in U.S., they would identify with this country and have strong attachments to their community. Why should a person like this be kicked out of the country and sent back to their parent's homeland, where they have little attachment to?
On the opposing side, the problem with this act is that it will promote illegal immigration. Meanwhile, there have been major border disputes in recent months. Just last week, some American border patrol officers were killed. That being said, isn't this a terrible time to promote the passing of such an act? It contradicts our border policy and all the work that has gone into securing our country. Sure, in the future, if we move towards some utopian, hippie-love, global community this kind of act would be appropriate. For now, it clearly does not make sense. Giving an illegal alien's children the right of citizenship would be validating their efforts in sneaking into the country.

Although this act was constructed in 2001, it shows how out of touch Obama's administration can be with the real needs and wants of the majority of American people. I do support progessive politics, but this type of act is clearly misinterpreting the current state of our country. No one should support this act at this point in time. It just doesn't make sense.

Please vote on the attached poll.

I Hate The Poll Question

After one night we're determining if the Knicks look like an elite team, a good team, a bad team, or if we have any Nets fans (aside from Bottle) reading this blog?

I think none of those options make sense. I can't say they looked great but I can't say they looked bad. They looked exactly like what they are...a team that has been together for 24 hours and has had no time together in practice or on the court.

Last night was very promising. The Garden was alive and will provide a real homecourt advantage come playoff time. When Melo was struggling, Amare stepped up, when Amare got into foul trouble, Melo did. Billups looked like he had some jitters with the bricks he tossed up, but that should be corrected with time and there was some solid bench production both defensively (Williams) and offensively (Douglas)

The issues of the night was the total lack of defense and Melo holding the ball too long. The defensive issue isn't news to anyone. However, the Knicks offense under D'Antoni needs the ball to move and Melo held the ball or got into "one on one" mode a bit too much. That's something that may be a direct product of not undeerstanding the offensive rotations and sets, so I wouldn't be overly concerned about that just yet.

My Vote - It was a good night with some promise.

Welcome back to the NBA Toney Douglas

Now after all the trade hoopla has gone down, we can get back to whats important and that playing and winning basketball games, As Johnny Bagels knows I have been a huge fan of Mozgov and it just so happen that he was a pivotal trade piece, now I turn my attention to the next Knick who is going to make some noise and that is Toney Douglas,






now that he has more playing time he can get on the court and no longer focus on his career as a actor, I just find it funny how he looks so much like Kevin Hart. So I am putting it down on the internet for all to see, Toney Douglas will continue to step it up, welcome to the NBA.

Nets get Deron Williams

So, the big Russian did get a big trade done after all snatching up Deron Williams, who many people feel is the best point guard in the league (personally I think Derrick Rose is a notch above). In order to make this work, the Nets had to give up prized rookie Derrick Favors and 2 draft picks, along with disgruntled point guard Devin Harris. Overall, this is a good move, but by not getting Williams to sign an extension, hope is alive that he could cross the Hudson River in two years.

Speaking of the Knicks, make no mistake the timing of this move is no coincidence. Prokhorov has this kind of Cold War arms race going on with James Dolan and you know he wanted to take some of the shine off of the big Melo debut tonight at the Garden. I'm not really sure how this move was made so stealthily. I've been home from work all day after eating some bad chicken and broccoli watching ESPN and there wasn't a mention from Broussard and the rest of those clowns about this until it happened. Sneaky sneaky.

SNOOT'S BEACH GEAR

Snoot - one of the founders and long-time contributers to PTU - is currently on vacation in a tropical, undisclosed location. I was wondering: what is Snooty probably wearing on the beach? What do snooty people wear while getting some sun? I haven't been to the Hamptions in a long time, and probably have never been to a beach in Connecticut. Help me out here.


I've narrowed it down to four choices. Please review the following and then vote on our poll. When Snoot gets back he will confirm his beach-time snooty outfit.



#1 - Some funky plaid shorts usually worn to suburban bbq's



#2- Tommy Bahama bathing suit

#3- Board shorts





#4 - A speedo, with snooty tanning oils applied

Johnny Bagel's Movie Picks

"Laws of Gravity" is a film from 1992 Directed by Nick Gomez (who later did New Jersey Drive and a lot of television work) that mostly went unnoticed but I think is a good entry in the "small time crook from Brooklyn" film genre. Starring Peter Greene (who's best known as Redfoot in The Usual Suspects and the guy who rapes Ving Rhames in Pulp Fiction) and a pre-Sopranos Edie Falco, the film follows Greene's Jimmy and his group of low life friends as they go about their day to day lives of shoplifting and mostly just hanging out. Somewhat predictably, things all come crashing down at some point but it's done in a way that is unique and doesn't feel cliched (the final scene in particular). As a disclaimer, I'm a fan of most movies that take place in Brooklyn, but I can recommend this to out of towners as well.

I give it 3 out of 4 bagels.

RIP Escalade

Yesterday Mark Jackson's brother Troy "Escalade" Jackson passed away in his sleep. Although he weighed close to 500 pounds (hence the nickname) he still made a career out of playing basketball, first for Louisville and then as part of the And1 mixtape tour. I would catch the And1 show on ESPN every once in a while and he seemed like a genuinely good dude who was really good at behind the back passes and could actually move a little even at his size. RIP ESCALADE.

KNICKS FANS ARE IDIOTS

All of you Knicks fans (especially the bandwagon jumpers who haven't seen a game in 15 years) and the media who are critical of this trade: You're stupid. You all sound like the guy who broke up with his girlfriend because the relationship wasn't going anywhere and then whine about "Maybe I was wrong, she wasn't that bad". All I heard for the last 2 years was "the Knicks need to make a move, they're going to be mediocre unless they make a big trade"...then once they get a top 10 (maybe 5) player, you all bitch and moan that the Knicks gave up too much. Gallinari and Chandler were not going to lead us to a championship. Mozgov looked lost out there for 90% of the season, but somehow the Knicks got fleeced. Take it from someone who has watched the Knicks closely for the past 20 years. THIS IS A GOOD MOVE. That is all.

KNICKS GOT PLAYED

When are the Knicks going to realize that anytime Isaiah gets involved something will go wrong?

The Nuggets essentially got the most in return for a star player out of any trade in the history of basketball. All this when he was going to leave anyway (his house was even up for sale) and so they were in a position with very little leverage.

What happened? The Knicks got nervous. Rumors about the Nets trading 14 first-round picks for Carmelo (when he clearly stated that he wouldn't sign there).... rumors about the Lakers trading Bynum for Melo (although the Lakers didn't have the trade pieces and couldn't afford Carmelo unless they forced Kobe into early retirement)....

I'm glad we got Carmelo, the move had to be made. Still, we gave up too much when we could have given up a whole lot less.

In the end, the Knicks gave up: Curry's contract (a HUGE asset), Gallo (really good young player), Chandler (good all-around young player), Felton (in a swap for their 52 year old PG), Mosgoz (who is untested but still a young 7 foot player), a first-round pick AND Randolph (weren't they supposed to trade him for that pick?), and cash on top of it all. Also, they took on 3 extra scrubs.

A couple of weeks ago the Knicks were offering Curry's contract, Chandler, Randolph, and possibly one other piece. Through deft negotiations, they added Gallo, Mosgov, a first-round pick, and 3 million dollars. Then they traded their young PG for a senior citizen (who is averaging less points + assists and is 8 years older than Felton) and took on other useless players. Great negotiating.

Lupica said if the deadline was extended they would have included Walt Frazier. He's right.

Let's Put the Trade in Perspective...

I'm excited. The whole New York Knicks fan base is excited. This is possibly the happiest I've been as a Knicks fan since LJ got the phantoom 4 point play in what seemed a game played 300 years ago.

But let's not get stupid, Knicks fans. I turned on the News today and see idiots talking about this potentially equating to a championship run this year. That's just crazy talk. Let's look at it for what it is, a step in the right direction. Two legitimate, star players with potential to bring one more in.

Let's not be downers on the whole thing either. Mike Lupica wrote an article today about how the Knicks gave up too much and how Dolan made a bad move and should've let Walsh sit on the deal and call Denver's bluff. Really? In my post yesterday I spoke to how the guys we lost were all nice players or guys with potential...not great players. Also, imagine Melo decided to just take the money, stay in Denver, or go to New Jersey...not too good for the Knicks' future is it? For the past 10+ years I've heard him bash the Knicks. They finally do something to make themselves relevant and, well, he bashes them. What a jackass.

Hey That's My Number!

Melo can't wear 15. It has already been retired twice for Earl "The Pearl" Monroe and Dick McGuire. We at PTU like to respect the tradition of our favorite sports teams and acknowledge the achievements of those who have made past contributions to these teams.

Finally

At the risk of turning PTU into a Carmelo Anthony fan site, I'd just like to remind everyone what it is the Knicks are getting. Forgive me for getting a little too excited about this but it's been a rough stretch for us Knicks fans.

WE GOT MELO

Although Bagels beat me to it, I still wanted the satisfaction of finally posting about the Knicks obtaining Carmelo Anthony. The details:

Knicks get - Carmelo, Billups, Shelden Williams, Renaldo Blackman

Knicks give up - Gallinari, Chandler, Felton, Mozgov, 2014 first-round pick

Denver gets - the Knick's pieces + the Warrior's 2012 second-round pick and also their 2013 second-rounder.

Denver made out great in this deal, pushing the Knicks to the very end to include as much as possible. The Knicks team looks pretty good: they got to keep Fields, and now they'll dump Billups after next season and pursue Chris Paul.

NBA.com didn't include anything about Curry's contract. It seems safe to assume that fat-boy's contract was included.

MELO TO KNICKS

So it's finally happened. Contrary to my prior post congratulating the Nets on a job well done, Carmelo is a Knick. The new starting lineup of Anthony, Amare, Billups, Fields and Turiaf (?) is a definite step up. More than anything, this gives the Knicks two legitimate super stars for the first time since (and I'm not exaggerating here) the 1970s. It's a great day to be a Knicks fan.

Bring Melo Home!

The Knicks need Melo and they need to give up on holding on to players that can be good or are good pieces.

Without Melo, the Knicks are almost a lock to finish with the 6th seed. They may do something typical of what they've done to me my whole life to inspire some false hope, like push the Bulls to a game 7 and do something very New York Knick-esque. Something like blow a big lead, come from behind, only to fall short, or let Derrick Rose drop a triple double in the last last 10 seconds of the game.

With Melo, the Knicks will almost certainly still end up with the 6th seed and may still have the season end similarly. However, when the final game is over and I take a shot of whiskey saying good bye to another season, I wouldn't sound like a total drunken and depressed fool saying that next year could be better.

Mosgov, Gallo, Wilson (Chuck) Chandler, whoever the 2014 draft pick will be, are all nice ideas. Mosgov can turn out to be a decent big man, Gallo and Chandler are nice players to have. The 15th pick in the draft may be another nice player that you wouldn't mind on your team. But it all amounts to more mediocrity.

If you land Melo, other players in the league start to take you seriously. You have two bonafide superstars between him and Amare with a draw for a big free agent and role players who would gladly take a cut to play in the big city, on a winning team.

I've conceeded I will have a 2010-2011 season funeral ending in shots, I just don't want to start sounding like a Mets fan after a mediocre season ends with a few bright flashes giving me false hope and making me sound silly.

Top 20 beef songs

19. Hate Me Now freestyle- Cam'ron featuring Jim Jones dissing Nas(2003)
The New York rap scene has always been funny in that as opposed to a lot of other cities, New York dudes just can't get along. Much like 50 cent, Cam'ron has had beef with just about every rapper to come out of the Big Apple in the last 15 years or so. Number 19 on the top 20 best beef songs of all time features Cam at his absolutely most disrespectful. I think he's since apologized for the "take your daughter, R Kelly, have my way with her face" line but that doesn't take away from the coldness on display here. The back story for all the hate involves Nas temporarily losing his mind and insulting a slew of NY rappers in a misguided attempt at a motivational speech on Power 105. This led to the majority of these rappers striking back including the dipset. Jim Jones sounds especially disgruntled on this, the origin of his "kufi smacker" nickname. Bonus points for calling someone Nelson Mandela in a derogatory way.

Best Line: "And your moms'll whip wop head, and you claim to be a hip hop head, Oo wop 2 shots in his hip hop head, that way the whole world knows that hip hops dead."

Remember the good ol' days? NO I DON'T

The city denied the permits for most of the businesses on the boardwalk, thereby ushering in a new era for Coney Island. I say: THANK GOD. Although Coney Island has always had an allure as a once-prosperous resort area, it has been awful for years. Go into the bar and there's a prostitute with a snake around her neck; lay on the beach and there's a syringe under your blanket. I understand that baby boomers view Coney Island an as enchanting neighborhood, where you could once drink a soda pop, listen to some doo-wop, staying clear of the greasers. Face reality: the city put a s*$t-load of projects there in the 70's and since then it has been a crime-ridden ghetto. It still may have some charm, but that's only because visitors realize what it once was. Keep some of the history intact, save the wonder-wheel and other rides that were made 100 years ago and give you a feeling that you're about to die when they bounce around and make weird noises. Other than that, lets clean it up. There's nothing glamorous about a shi%ty-ass neighborhood that was exciting once-upon-a-time before your parents were born.

PTU salutes Chris Mullin

The basketball Hall of Fame finalists were announced today and while there were some surprise omissions one of the names made all of us at PTU happy. Brooklyn's own Chris Mullin. Born in the Flatlands, Mullin eventually played for Xaverian high school and St. Johns. A true New York guy, every time I hear him speak as an analyst for ESPN it reminds me of how rare it is to hear an athlete with an authentic Brooklyn accent. Despite a terrible case of white man's disease (at 6'7'' I'm not sure I ever saw him dunk) Mullin played 15 very productive years in the league and was a part of the mythical orginal Dream Team. He is also the only former NBA player who looks like he should be bartending at Kettle Black.

Chris Mullin, PTU salutes you. Here's hoping you represent Brooklyn in the Hall of Fame soon.

NBA All-star Weekend to be dominated by Clipper

NBA All-star weekend is here! East vs. West, Kobe vs. LeBron, Bloods vs. Crips. It's all happening at the Staples Center this weekend. Maybe the biggest story will be the first ever of what is sure to be many all-star appearances for Blake Griffin. In fact, the Big guy without a nickname will dominate every night of All-star weekend.

Tonight, he'll team up with Landry Fields to form a monstrous rebounding force as well as one full black man in the glorified lay-up line that is the T-mobile Rookie-sophomore challenge. Then, tomorrow night Kenny Smith will be helicoptered out of the Staples Center from exhaustion from cheer leading so loudly as Blake will jump from the half-court line or off the scoreboard and win his first Sprite Slam Dunk contest. "It's ovahhhhh".

Finally, Sunday in the big boring game, Blake will show the world his sheer awesomeness. I've lost interest in the game over the years. While not as boring as the Pro Bowl, sporting events with no intensity or defense played get old after about a half hour. Maybe if we're lucky Griffin's presence will result in some ridiculousness like that dunk over Mozgov though.

Melo to Nets?

If the reports are correct and the Nuggets and New Jersey have agreed on a deal to send Melo to the Nets then the big Russian really is the shrewdest business man in pro sports. By holding a press conference in which he announced to the world that the Nets were pulling out of the Carmelo sweepstakes he effectively showed Denver and the NBA that the Nets weren't going to just roll over and give up their entire team or follow Carmelo around like a dog looking for table scraps. "We don't need you that much. Come see me when you have an offer". Bad ass. I imagine there are a couple of Kltischko brother looking goons peering over Carmelo's shoulder at the sit-down happening in Los Angeles right now as well.

On a personal note, since the talks of the Nets relocating to Brooklyn first began years ago, I've told everyone that I can't not root for a team with BROOKLYN plastered across their chests. I'd pull for both the Knicks and the Nets, except when they played each other, at which point I'd have to root for the Knicks. Well, now that this trade might actually happen I realize I've been lying to myself. I wanted Carmelo on the Knicks. Really bad. I always looked at the Nets as an annoying little brother, the Mets to the Knicks' Yankees. Now they might be the big winners of the sports world for the first time in their New Jersey existence and the Knicks are stuck with the same mediocre team.

I hate the Nets.

(UPDATE) This is all dependent on Carmelo signing the 3 year extension with the Nets which is still up in the air. According to ESPN, he will if the Knicks can't make a deal. If they can, disregard this entire post. I love the Nets.

PTU Keeping It Real Candidate: Miguel Cabrera

Miggy was arrested for DUI in dramatic fashion last night. He had a blood alcohol level of .26 which is the equivalent of 13 drinks in one hour for a man his weight. That's definitely enough to make you yell at police who approach you "Do you know who I am? You don't know anything about my problems!". Well, now they know of one problem. Reportedly he also was drinking a bottle of scotch when the police pulled him over and even took a swig from it in front of them. That's keeping it real. He's had some issues with alcohol in the past but this is a new level of TWASTEDness. Still, how can you hate a guy with a mug shot like this?

Mavs vs Suns preview

The second half of tonight's TNT matchup pits old friends Dirk and Steve against each other in a battle for...well, not much anymore. Phoenix is struggling around the .500 mark this season and it's kind of sad to see an aging but still great Nash throwing pinpoint behind-the-back and lefty alley oops to guys like this instead of like this. There's been some talk recently about his possible reuniting with the Mavs via trade or free agency just like Jason Kidd did a couple years ago. For his sake, I hope it happens.