Happy Birfday, Nas: Top 5 Nas Songs Not On Illmatic

Jay-z once rapped that people in Brooklyn "argue all day about who's the best M.C., Biggie, Jay-z or Nas". It's a debate that will never end for rap fans. Not counting Biggie, who most people revere in Brooklyn like he invented pizza by the slice, it's really a 2 man race. Most people who know what "the purple tape" is will rate Nas and Jay-z 1 and 2 in varying order depending on their personal tastes. Being proud Brooklynites, most of PTU will probably rank Jigga slightly ahead of Esco, despite those silly nicknames, but the debate will never end. Personally, I think Nas is a more skilled rapper than Jay, but Jay's had a better career. Kind of like LeBron is more skilled than Kobe, but that doesn't mean he's a better player (at least not yet). Nas might be the best lyricist EVER, but for whatever reason he hasn't been able to put everything together consistently. His beat selection is a little off, and he can come off at best preachy and worst corny. This isn't to say he hasn't put out classic songs throughout his 20 year career. If we were to honestly put out a top 10 Nas list it would just be "Illmatic" but he's had some other gems aside from his epic debut. In honor of the little homies 39th birthday (good God, we're getting old) here's a few of my favorites post Illmatic:

5) Locomotive ft. Large Professor (Life is Good)

Yes, one of Nas's five best ever songs was on his most recent album. Part of my obsession with this track might be nostalgia for classic era hip hop (Nas even shouts out his "trapped in the 90s niggas" a couple times at the end), and another part is my lowered expectations for anything Nas has released for the past, oh, 15 years. But that doesn't take away from the fact that this is just a really, really good song.

4) Undying Love (I Am)

Remember how I said Nas might be the best lyricist in rap history? One aspect of his lyrical ablities that's a little under rated is his story telling, which is really, really good. Case in point the last track on the otherwise dissapointing I Am (the one with Nas looking like a Sphinx on the cover). Maybe the most vivid story I've heard on a rap song (even more than Story to Tell), Undying Love finds Nas coming home from Vegas to propose to his girl, only to find that he's been cuckolded by some poor fool. The last verse finds Nas and his Braveheart buddies (the subtle detail of Horse getting his foot stuck in the door is great) shooting it out with the cops before accidentally shooting his girlfriend and turning the gun on himself. "Now unto God we elope" is something you'll never hear in a 2 Chainz song. The racist cop finding their bodies at the very end is also a nice subtle touch. Great song.

3) I Gave You Power (It Was Written)

Another example of Nas's fine storytelling abilities. The whole "inanimate object personification" thing has been done to death in hip hop, usually involving someone rapping about a gun or weed as their woman (see Me and My Girlfriend by Tupac or Mary Jane by Scarface or a million other fucking songs). In 1996, though, this was still a pretty radical concept. Supposedly Nas didn't really want to do this, thinking it was a little too artsy for the mid 90s rap crowd that didn't listen to Organized Konfusion, but he eventually did it, and it's a classic track. Also featuring one of the least DJ Premierish DJ Premier beats (no scratched chorus for starters), this is a standout track on Nas's sophomore album.

2) Phone Tap (The Firm)

Nas, AZ, Foxy Brown and a couple other Queens and Brooklyn rappers joined forces with Dr Dre to create The Firm. They made an album in the late 90s that is widely considered a flop, mostly because Dr. Dre himself famously rapped that it was on a song most likely written by Eminem. Also, it was a bit dissapointing commercially and critically. As always, blame for a rap album flopping falls squarely and unfairly on the record label's shoulders. They probably shouldn't have released the awful Firm Biz as the first single and instead went with Phone Tap, which is a classic. The Dre beat on this is so great that it was a hit song for Carl Thomas about a year later.

1) The Message (It Was Written)

As previously mentioned, Illmatic is worshipped by rap fans, and even some people who aren't that into rap. A follow up was bound to fail, or at least come as somewhat of a dissapointment. However, the first real track on this destined to fail sophomore album starts out very promisingly. Built around a Sting sample, Nas spits quotable after quotable. "A thug changes, and love changes, and best friends become strangers" will probably be on the tombstone of millions of people over this next century and if not then it should be.

Honorable Mention: Affirmative Action ft. The Firm (It Was Written)

I have trouble even calling this one a Nas song since it's a posse cut in the truest sense of the term but I'd hate myself if I didn't mention Affirmative Action. "Life's a bitch but God forbid the bitch divorce me, I'll be flooded with ice so hell fire can't scorch me". C'mon now, Nas.

Other Honorable Mentions: A Favor for A Favor ft. Scarface (I Am) (Motown Marxist's Favorite), Ether (Stillmatic), Street's Disciple (Street's Disciple), The World Is An Addiction (Life Is Good), Nas is Like (I Am), You're the Man (Stillmatic)

Nicki Minaj Is Not Voting For Romney so Shut Up

Motown Marxist's math student, Nicki Minaj recently caused a little bit of controversy with a line she rapped on Lil Wayne's underwhelming Dedication 4 mixtape that was released on Labor Day. Nicki rapped "I'm a republican voting for Mitt Romney, you lazy bitches are ruining the economy". This is a fairly benign line, especially when compared to the rest of the mixtape that (as usual) deals with pussy, guns, and more pussy (Wayne raps about pussy a LOT. Me thinks the man who has kissed men on tape and spent most of his late 20s in prison doth protest too much). It's actually a smarter line than you might think at first glance. As a punchline of sorts, it at least assumes that the listener knows a) lazy people are a danger to an economy's well-being and b) Romney is the alleged economy candidate. Doesn't seem like much to get worked up over. But apparently, hip hop fans are dumber than you thought. A lot of people lost their shit over this, and numerous media outlets (including the New York Daily News) reported Nicki's endorsement of Romney as if she held a press conference and formally announced her support like she's an ex-President or something. There's so much that is stupid about this I don't know where to start, but how about....

it's a rap song you idiots???? Do you believe everything you hear a rapper say in song as gospel? Next week's breaking story will be that Pablo Escobar owes Rick Ross a hundred favors. Cam'Ron has a cocaine buffet in his house and a fountain that sprays out Mountain Dew. DMX kills people and then has sex with their bodies. Eminem not only murdered his ex-wife, he also killed her new husband and son, as well as murdered Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Dakota Fanning. Obama might think twice about telling every young voter who will listen that he loves Jay-z because he might not know that Jay admitted to about 374 murders and robberies in his lyrics. Drake sits at home and cries because his girlfriend forgot his birthday, oh wait, that one's true. I know it's a stretch to think that the majority of people who listen to nicki Minaj might understand things like metaphor or poetic license, but a rapper comparing themselves to Republicans is nothing new (Jay-z and Nas, two guys you would never confuse for right wingers, had a song together called Black Republicans), and it's a very standard slick way of saying "I'm rich, and you bitches aren't" which most fans of Nicki should know is her m.o. (I'm not even a fan, and have probably heard less than 15 verses by her in my life yet am well aware of this). This doesn't even factor into account that Miss Minaj was born in Trinidad and might not even be a registered voter or American citizen.

Even if she were voting for Romney, though, who cares? Aside from free speech and all that, would it really make a difference in the election? Despite her massive Twitter following and "barbies" who do everything she says, I doubt Nicki Minaj fans will be moved to vote for Romney just because of one throwaway line on a mixtape. The idea that this makes her a bad influence is also ridiculous. After all, she starts that same verse with "Drop it to the floor, make that dick shake" which isn't a tremendously positive role model for children. She also has rapped in the past about "eating people's brains". I am not absolutely positive of her position on brain eating, but again who actually listens to lyrics anyway?

Who Wins a Fight Between Drake and Chris Brown?

Recently, M@d $cientist posted about fights he would like to see including a bear and a shark in outer space. Meanwhile, in reality, there has been a serious beef brewing between two of the most hated (and loved) guys in hip hop. Everyone's favorite Canadian Jew rapper Drake has recently been Twitter tussling with everyone's favorite woman beating punk Chris Brown, and it's recently erupted into bottle throwing cat fighting. All this reportedly over Rhianna, who every day seems to fall faster into cracked out Linsday Lohan territory . I'll admit the alleged first shot that is Drake's "I'm still fucking Rhianna" note is extremely badass but that doesn't take away from the fact that neither of these guys will probably ever have an actual fight. Who would win if these two were to ever let their entourages take a day off and really shoot a fair one? Let's break it down.

Both of these guys main strength is the ability to be simultaneously misognystic and loved by women at the same time. Drake's recently had lyrics like "she could have a grammy, I'll still treat her ass like a nominee" and Chris Brown punches women in the face. This ability doesn't really translate to street fighting though. Still, Drake has seemingly never been in a fight in his life (unless he got into at the craft service table on the set of Degrassi) and we KNOW CB can throw a punch. Also, Brown stands nearly 6-4 and is very athletic. Drake played a basketball player on Nickelodeon, but by all accounts is as athletic as every other Jewish Canadian. That is, not very. This isn't to say that Chris Brown would mop the floor with Wheelchair Jimmy. On the contrary, I think this would be a fairly even fight with neither participant landing many blows, and some occasional wrestling on the ground. In the end, Chris Brown wins an ugly, feminine fight. This will never happen because their vast entourages, agents, label heads, and hanger ons will ensure that these two are never in the same room again, close enough to scratch each other's eyes out. And even if they were, as tough as they talk on twitter, both of these douche bags would most likely prefer to say they're sorry, curl up with the latest sequel to 50 Shades of Grey, and have a cup of green tea than actually fight. I'd still rather see the shark and the bear.

NEW Kanye West Mercy Video

Say what you want about Kanye West. He's an attention seeking prick, he dresses funny, he's generally an asshole...oh wait, that's LeBron. Well, there's a lot of stuff you could say about Yeezy too, but one thing you can't take away from him is he at least tries to be original and make bold music and videos. I wasn't feeling Mercy all that much at first but it definitely grew on me. It's kind of scary sounding in a weird, menacing sort of way and the video matches that sound I think. I picture more girls and drugs when I hear this but you can probably find that in other videos.

PTU Classics: The Greatest Rapper Of All Time Died on March 9th?

Today is March 9th, a day that will live in infamy for most rap fans as it marks the anniversary of the untimely death of the one and only Notorious B.I.G. I couldn't tell you the date of Tupac's death, or even Martin Luther King Jr.'s or JFK's to be honest. But thanks to Canibus, we'll always remember that the "greatest rapper of all time died on March 9th". Was he really the greatest though? Let's turn back the clock to a year ago today and look at one of our most controversial posts.

What I'm going to say may hurt people, it might be seen as bordering on blasphemy (particularly coming from a Brooklyn guy).Let me preface what I'm about to say by first letting it be known that I love Biggie. I grew up listening to him, he was a ridiculously talented and charismatic dude, I love that he represented Brooklyn at all times, and he definitely cemented his place in music history as one of the greatest rappers of all time. But I wouldn't say he is THE greatest of all time.

Before you all x out PTU and go straight to ESPN.com or leave comments saying how I'm an idiot who knows nothing about rap, consider what it takes to be called the greatest at anything. Let's compare it to a sports career (as I do so often with music). A hall of fame career (never mind being called the greatest of all time) would require at least 9 or 10 years of sustained greatness coupled with dominance at your position in each season. This is probably my biggest issue with labeling the black Frank White as the greatest. His career only lasted 4 years (really) with only 2 albums. Great, classic albums but still, only 2. While my father would tell anyone who will listen that Drazen Petrovic could shoot better than 95% of the NBA today, no one else would say he is the greatest shooter of all time. There's just not enough of a career there to support that claim. Same for Big.

If we look at Biggie from a technical standpoint, the claim of greatest of all time is also suspect. Lyrically and flow wise he could go toe to toe with any rapper, but off the top of my head I could think of at least 3 rappers who were or are probably more skilled lyricists (Nas, Kool G Rap, Eminem, I could name more).

So why do most rap fans and critics immediately place Biggie at the top? For starters, there's always the risk of over rating the dead. James Dean was a great actor, but his talent is really overshadowed by his lifestyle and untimely death. Same goes for 2pac, River Phoenix and Heath Ledger. Maybe you could throw Jimi Hendrix in that conversation too. When you lose someone before they really reached their potential, people want to believe that their best work was yet to come. Who knows what would have happened had Biggie lived to 40? There was a huge backlash against the versace and jewelry flossing rappers in the late 90s and Biggie might have caught some of that had he lived to see it.

The real reason that we'll always love Big Poppa, and have crowned him king might be that he represents a time in most rap listeners' lives. The mid 90s when hip hop was in its prime (the golden age in my opinion) and it seemed like it would only get better. Biggie was this (as he said himself) fat, black and ugly dude who still got chicks and could rap circles around the competition. Then he was shot over who knows what by who knows. It doesn't seem fair. It doesn't matter that he only had 2 albums or he wasn't technically the best rapper. He did his thing for a couple years and then he was gone at the age that most of us were just moving out of our parents houses. It's not fair so we call him the greatest. And I guess if he means that much to people then he is their greatest and that's really all that counts. RIP B.I.G.

A Quick Rant about Wiz Khalifa

Look at that picture! This is one of the hottest rappers out right now? He looks like what would come out if Lenny Kravitz had sex with a crack head, gave that baby up for adoption, and then that baby was raised by gay beat poets. Rick Santorum saw this picture and said, "yeah, you know what? Maybe abortion isn't always bad". I'm not against some forward thinking fashion, but I'd say Wiz looks like he robbed a grandmother on her way home from church, but I think the grandmother would kick his ass if he tried. Even the two dudes next to him have a look on their face like "yeah I know he looks like an anorexic Maxwell, but hey he's paying for us". One of those guys is his boy Chevy Woods, so I guess I can't hate on him for trying to get his foot in the door with whoever, but c'mon Juicy J! You're like 40 years old, been in the rap game for a hundred years, you have an OSCAR, for Christ's sakes! There's got to be a better meal ticket than this. And Flex must be thinking "I used to DJ with Biggie and Wu-Tang. I used to set the trends and influence urban music when I dropped bombs on the exclusive Nas and Jay-z songs. I was instrumental in the culture. Now I do Lugz commercials and shill for weirdos that look like this. Where did I go wrong?". Or maybe he's just thinking, "what's that smell? Smells like burnt chicken grease and pistachios". This picture is also further proof that Amber Rose would bang a toilet plunger if it had a record deal and a video in rotation on 106 & Park. And to top it all off, he can't rap. At least Kanye justifies wearing skirts by being talented. For shame, hip hop! We can do better!

The Generation Gap Beef

I love rap beef (no homo). I used to dedicate a post a week to classic rap battles until I realized that no one else who reads PTU could care less, but the past few years have seen a steady decline in legitimately interesting beef. This is especially true in comparison to the golden age of ignorant diss tracks that was the early part of this century. 50 cent was the human equivalent of an Internet troll, basically starting shit with whoever he wanted for a number of perceived or imaginary slights. It made for a good time and rap beef had developed into a sub genre itself, the "Street Wars" mixtapes were best sellers at your local African bootlegger. Then, times changed, people got tired of 50 and his fuckery, and less aggressive and violent rap took over. Swag was more important than street cred, and no one personified this shift in tastes better than former child actor turned emo rapper, Drake. Taking Kanye West's lead as the "you don't have to be hard to be a rapper" artist of the day, Drake has influenced a new generation of skinny jean wearing halfway gay rappers who care more about their style than their rap sheet in the hood. This isn't entirely a bad thing. Parents of inner city kids should be happy that their kids are emulating a half Jewish Canadian who names his singles after Leonardo Dicaprio movies (and not the gangster ones) rather than former crack dealers but it's also created a generation gap between the traditional hip hop fan and artist and the new school of pretty boys. One guy who's been particularly ornery is Common.

We all know Common as the actor/rapper (and he's been more of the former than latter in recent years) who performs poetry at the White House and promotes veganism and other not-at-all-thuggish activities. But apparently Drizzy's singing was too much for even a conscious thinking bohemian such as himself, and he decided to send some veiled shots at Young Money's second biggest artist on his track, "Sweet". Now he's totally gone off the deep end, naming names in his new remix of Rick Ross and Drake's "Stay Scheming" that was released this week. What's he so mad about exactly? There's a couple theories floating around that Serena Williams' big ass is in the middle of this, but the real problem here seems to be the mere existence of Drake infuriating Common. Com's been the type to start a ruckus just because other rappers music made him mad, and it seems like that's what happened again. When he did it with Ice Cube and the Westside Connection, it was a ballsy move, but also made him look like a snobby underground hiphop head hating on gangster rap, which was the dominant sound at the time. Now, in a similar fashion, Common looks like an out of touch old grandpa who's mad that the young kids are winning. This is not unprecedented in hip hop, KRS One vs Nelly and Ice T vs. Soulja Boy were unfortunate cases of old rapper shaking his fist from his porch. But it's not like Common ever represented some type of hardcore murder music and Drake is taking food off his plate by introducing a new mellow homo thug sound to the kiddies. Common is just an old dude who looks like a hater. Problem is we're all kind of haters, Lord knows us at PTU are. We just don't have the outlet Common does to spread our hate of the new soft rapper. There's no winning this battle for the guy formerly known as Common Sense. He can't help but come off as a bitter old man, lashing out at the new stars. Even if Drake is as soft as baby shit, Common can't win by just saying that. He can't win at all. Take it like a man, Grandpa. The Hoe ass niggas have taken over.

Is ASAP Rocky Any Different From Vanilla Ice?

Hip hop trends these days move swiftly and mysteriously. In the past (old man alert) rappers would develop underground followings through hustle and (usually) acquired industry connections via mixtapes from the usual tastemaker djs, most of whom resided in New York, and for the most part based on talent. With the new millenium, came a new breed of rapper and the method of getting buzz went beyond just rapping a freestyle on DJ Clue's monday night show on Hot 97 and landing a song at the end of a Kay Slay tape. 50 Cent ushered in the mixtape era, releasing cds that were more like albums and the trend of rapping new songs over other people's beats. With the presence of the internet growing larger every second, though, a new type of rapper has emerged: One that isn't all that talented but has the type of buzz that used to be reserved for underground beasts who tore up every guest appearance or radio freestyle they touched (think Canibus or DMX). Enter a 21 year old kid from Harlem with a Texas fetish named ASAP Rocky.

ASAP, not at all to be confused with mumbly white people rapper Aesop Rock, is probably the most talked about new rapper out, and just this past Monday released his first highly anticipated mixtape to mostly positive reviews and internet drooling. He pretty much came out of nowhere, appearing sporadically on the rap blogs and Pitchfork since this spring. Mysteriously dropping a video or mp3, mostly inspiring people to say "who's this kid from Harlem that raps like Lil Flip?". And I'll admit, I kind of dig his music. The beats are ambient, drugged out stuff that i like and he's a decent enough southern rapper, but the one thing that I can't get past as I listen to LiveLoveASAP is this kid is a fraud. If we call out people like Vanilla Ice or any of the other rappers who are found to be living a lie, why not this guy? Being a white person who acts black is one of the most ridiculed characters in existence, mostly due to the idea that it's someone trying to be something they're not in order to look cool. The word poser comes to mind. ASAP admits he loves Texas although HE'S NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE. He just knows what he sees on tv in rap videos and hears in the sizzurp soaked UGK albums. Sound familiar? . Rick Ross gets lampooned by many rap fans for his former life as corrections officer, and rightfully so, but is that so much different than a dude from Harlem who's never been in the state of Texas that imitates the drawling sound of someone who was born in Port Arthur? One difference might be that ASAP isn't intentionally deceiving anyone. He says he's from Harlem pretty much on every track but he's still adopted a persona that is not authentic to who he is as a person. Hip hop used to be a culture that valued authenticity over anything else. Remember keeping it real (the real term not PTU's adopted version of drunken athletes with crappy cars)? I'll admit I'm a little biased since New York isn't the center of the hiphop world anymore, and the death of regionalism has always been a pet peeve of most of us at PTU. I know I sound 1000 years old but the ascension of the internet and social networks as the primary means of communication and entertainment for the youth these days is to blame for kids who grew up in New York that root for the Patriots and rappers that were born in Harlem that pretend to be from down south. We live in a global village where you can pick and choose what area you want dress like, sound like, and what teams to root for regardless of your actual hometown. I'm not saying that's wrong, really, but if we're going to clown Vanilla Ice and Rick Ross for living a lie what about the fake country boy and his styrofoam cup of lean, ASAP?

Johnny Bagel's Top 5 Eminem Verses

Hey, there was a time when Eminem didn't suck balls. No, you say? He always rapped like he was in a contest to see who could fit the most stupid puns in a 16 bar verse? Not so. Even though today he raps like a 7 year old girl who's hair is being set on fire (or something like that) there was a solid 7 or 8 year period where Marshall was the coldest dude to pick up a microphone, regardless of color. In honor of Mr Shady's 39th birthday (damn, he's getting old to be rapping about poop), here's Johnny Bagel's top 5 Eminem verses from when he was still blond and wasn't unlistenable.



5) Brain Damage Third Verse (The Slim Shady LP)

A long time ago when I was a young Bagels, a hip friend of mine in my high school gave me a cassette tape with a recorded over children's album. What was recorded over it was Eminem's Slim Shady EP which featured Just Don't Give a Fuck, 97 Bonnie and Clyde and also Brain Damage. Thinking this was just some goofy white underground rapper, I didn't pay him much mind until about a month later when "My Name Is" was number one on TRL and I felt like an idiot. The third verse here is an example of an extremely underrated aspect of Em's rap repertoire, that is his storytelling abilities. Also the only known recording of someone rhyming "4 inch screws" with "orange juice". Good stuff.

4) Hellbound/radio freestyle (Game Over Compilation)

Hellbound was a Soulblade sampling song off of the Game Over compilation of the late 90s that featured Masta Ace, J Black and an Eminem freestyle grafted onto the beginning. Most of these copy and paste remixes come off at best clunky and at worst terrible but this one worked so well I thought Em was in the studio recording his ridiculous verse with the rest of the guys. Probably the best first line to an Eminem verse ever:

"I'll puke, eat it and freak you. Battle? I'm too weeded to speak to. The only key that I see to defeat you would be to remove these two Adidas and beat you and force feed you 'em both and on each feet is a cleat shoe".

Vicious.

3) Lose Yourself Third Verse (8 Mile Soundtrack)

Something about Eminem's third verses. Guess he likes to finish up strong, and the last verse on this Oscar winning joint was maybe the most perfect rap verse ever. That doesn't mean it's my number one but technically it's pretty flawless. It's since become a staple at sporting events and TV commercials and your mom probably knows the chorus by heart but at first listen this was a freaking monster.

2) Bad Meets Evil All Verses (Slim Shady LP)

There's been a growing trend lately of aging rappers releasing joint albums together. The catch 22 of this phenomenon is that most of these guys were too busy and/or full of themselves to consider doing these types of group efforts when they were in their prime resulting in over the hill emcees trying to stay relevant by pooling their diminished talents. This past year has seen collaborative LP's from geriatric rappers Method Man, Ghostface and Raekwon, Smiff n Wessun and Pete Rock, Jay Z and Kanye West...wait a minute, that was good. Anyway, the point is there's a plethora of rap album team-ups that would have been any 90s rap fan's wet dream. If they were released in the 90s, that is. Maybe the most glaring example of old rappers releasing an album 10 years too late is Bad Meets Evil or Slim Shady and Royce the 5'9" who earlier this year put out an album that I've listened to maybe once in the past 6 months (besides that sappy Bruno Mars single which I've listened to unintentionally 800 times). It's a shame since these two used to make classics like this.

"I don't speak. I float in the air wrapped in a sheet. I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat".

Sheesh.

1) Renegade: First and Second Verse (The Blueprint)

A verse so ridiculous that the title of the song it comes from has entered blog parlance (to "renegade" someone is to murder someone on their own song in your guest spot as Nas rightfully pointed out). It's easy to miss the brilliance of Em's verse here since it's so seamlessly perfect. For fun, just keep track of his rhyme scheme in both verses (and I couldn't pick one of these verses so listen to them both). There's not one slip up. And unlike some later Eminem verses, it all makes sense. It's not just "words put together just to match" as the outshined Hov has said elsewhere. The craziest part about Eminem's performance here though: he's rewritten history. Most unbiased hip hop fans will tell you that Jay-z's verses on this song sucked, when in reality these might be the two best, most intricate verses he spit on the entire Blueprint album (an album some consider his best ever). But in comparison he sounds like a bum. Unfortunately, Em never reached these heights consistently throughout his career. But he'll always have these two verses as evidence of what an absolute beast the drug addicted Marshall Mathers could be.

Top 5 Rap Groups of All Time

With the release of Michael Rappaport's much hyped A Tribe Called Quest documentary "Beats, Rhymes and Life", it got us to thinking about the greatest rap groups of all time. Admittedly, this is a tough task, being that one person's definition of "greatest" varies depending on age, race or personal taste in rap music. Speaking for myself, I'm more of a fan of the mid to late '90s New York thug rap sound, but I can't deny that groups like Tribe or De La Soul or any of the other so-called Native Tongues rappers (while I find mostly boring) made a huge impact on hip-hop. Same goes for pioneering old guys like the Cold Crush Bros. or Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. I'm not likely to sit through The Message any time soon, but they'd have to make any top 10 list of rap groups off their legacies alone.

So, in order to dead any confusion, the criteria for this top 5 list is as follows: longevity, individual talents, at least 2 classic albums as a group and impact on hip hop. This would eliminate at least one of my favorite groups (The L.O.X.) since they've been better individually and their impact has been pretty minimal outside of the tri-state, and unfortunately the group who I've seen more often live than any other performer The Beatnuts, since most people only know one song by them. Also left off the list would be the militant Public Enemy due to their only being one talented rapper in the group. Who made the cut then?

5) Beastie Boys

Say what you want about the three Jews, but they've been around for FOREVER and still release relevant albums, which is more than you can say about any group on the original Def Jam roster or really any rapper from the 80s period (LL hasn't had an album that anyone paid attention to since he was dissing Canibus). Most of their longevity is due to the fact that they've changed their musical styles more than Madonna, but still retain their core appeal: that is, three mediocre at best rhymers yelling out nonsense over funky beats. They've gone from goofy, party animal, ironic frat boy types rapping over ACDC samples and 808 drums to funky beat digging Political activists, to Hip hop culture reviving old men with tons of famous, funny cool friends.

4) Mobb Deep

The only thing keeping the two diminutive Queensbridge dudes from being higher on this list is the fact that Prodigy has royally SUCKED for the past 8 or so years, but off the strength of their first 3 albums alone, they've had more of an impact than most rap groups who were in the game for 25 years. Alongside that group pictured at the top of the post, Mobb Deep revolutionized the rap sound in the mid 90s. Havoc's beats sound like a cold New York winter more than any other musical act (in my opinion) and Prodigy's voice and style paved the way for the generation of no frills thug rap that dominated East Coast rap for the next decade.

3) Run DMC

While losing a point or 2 for a lack of longevity (their albums are fun to listen to still, but definitely sound dated) the Hollis, Queens trio did more than enough in their 7 or 8 years of dominance to warrant a place among rap group royalty (or at least this silly list). Besides popularizing a couple of fashion trends, Run DMC were really the first cross-over rap stars. Alongside the number 5 group on this list, they embarked on a world-wide stadium tour that was a first for the young genre that wasn't really taken very seriously at the time. They also are responsible for introducing the sometimes great, often annoying, rap-rock sub genre of music with their rock record sampling hits and their duet and very literal video with Aerosmith.

2) NWA

The sum of their parts was even better than the group as a whole (at least as far as classic albums go), but perhaps no other group has been as influential introducing the gangsta rap that would be in the DNA of every rapper that followed, for better or worse. Even the tissue softest, singing pop rapper today says "bitch" and "nigga" and other once scary to white people words like it's second nature, and they can thank NWA for that. While most groups have a couple weak links weighing them down, even NWA's worst rapper, MC Ren could rap circles around some of the other chumps who take up space in lesser rap groups. Besides Ren, the other members are practically a Mt. Rushmore of West Coast Gangsta rap. Dr. Dre is probably the most universally loved rap producer alive, Eazy E is somewhat of a legend in death, and Ice Cube (though better known as an actor now) was the baddest mother to rock a microphone in the early 90s. Prompting federal investigations, nation wide protest, and numerous parodies and copy cats, NWA are the most influential rap group of all time and second only to.....

1) Wu-Tang Clan

I'll admit, I'm a bit biased. Bottle can tell you, I once told someone I only listen to Wu-Tang in answer to what type of music I listen to. That may be a little creepy, but it's not too far-fetched that somebody could only listen to CD's that had that W on them and be satisfied. Other groups had a sound, but not like Wu-Tang. When you heard a Wu affiliated album, you knew exactly that that's what you were listening to: movie samples (in particular karate flicks), chopped up soul samples, heavy bass, and somewhat indecipherable lyrics. Even if they were some times hard to understand, they spit enough straight forward stuff to influence a generation of biters (shark ni$%as to hear Ghostface tell it). Every rapper in the 9 (sometimes 10) man crew could rap (even last man on the bench Cappadonna had a couple classic verses), and for a 4 or 5 year period, every album released through the Wu-Tang imprint was a success, commercially and critically. The Wu made dark, weird records hugely profitable. This was a time before the so-called "bling" or shiny suit era (which although it is constantly ridiculed and bad-mouthed, I think still turned out some great music) when scary sounding, karate movie sampling, sometimes chorusless songs could dominate radio. Most of these guys are still churning out albums, but sound like the old guy who still buys the newest Jordans every week and uses words like "swagger". We'll always have the classics though.

Who Would Be Afraid of This Man?

I realize I'm a little late to the party on this one (I blame Google's malfunctioning rather than my own laziness since I'll never have another chance to say that) but I wanted to say a word on the hilariously misguided anger of Fox News and other misinformed conservative types who were critical of Common's invitation to perform at the White House.

First off, Common is not a gangsta rapper. In fact, he is probably the most boring of a very boring sub-genre of rap often referred to as "Conscious rap", that basically stands in stark contrast to gangsta rap. Performers of this type of easy listening hip hop specialize in songs about the beauty of black women, loving each other, being a vegan and other positive topics that white liberal arts majors enjoy. Common makes music that someone's grandmother could listen to, or even a middle aged first lady. The main argument here, I suppose, is a song from Common's otherwise controversy-free album, "Like Water for Chocolate" (yes, that is what it's called) entitled "A Song for Assata". The song is basically an ode to Assata Shakur, Tupac's god-mother and favorite political cause of black thinkers and ass-hole celebrities. A former black panther who went to jail on a charge of murdering a police officer, much to the chagrin of political activist types, who charge racial bias and extreme mistreatment as well as a railroaded case to imprison a Panther. Needless to say, this isn't Ice-T doing a performance of "Cop Killer" at an Obama family cook out.

So why is Sarah Palin so mad about this? Because that's what she does, and that's what a good amount of political talking heads do. These are the same people who criticize a campaign to get children to eat healthy. Seriously. Obama could find Osama Bin Laden, and they would find something to criticize him about, which he did and they then did. And it happens on both sides. I was no fan of Bush, but after a while, criticisms take on a life of their own, and people can't separate political ideology from their hatred of a man. Common made a song that I'm sure no one protested when it was released more than a decade ago, but because an Obama likes him, he's a hateful, cop-killer loving, threat to our nation. I can't defend the social merit of a lot of hip hop, but people picked the wrong target this time.

Below, is an example of what kind of performer Common is and what Sean Hannity is so afraid of:

Beef Song of the Week

Canibus-2nd Round Knockout (1998) Canibus Dissing LL Cool J
It seems like 400 years ago, but there was a time when the most buzzed about new rapper was this skinny kid from who knows where named after a marijuana plant, Canibus. Building up his considerable hype through the old school pre-internet method of mix tapes (some of which were actual tapes, if I look around my parents house long enough I might find the Canibus vs. DMX classic mix tape) and features on major label rappers' albums. In Bis's case (for some reason the shortened nickname version of Canibus is Bis not Bus) this meant brain melting, ugly face inducing verses on tracks with the Lost Boyz, The Firm and most notably LL Cool J. It was his verse on LL's posse cut 4,3,2,1 that ignited what became the most talked about beef in hip hop up until that point since Biggie and Tupac (although no one really thought this would amount to any violence).

In the original version of that song, Canibus raps a fairly innocent line about borrowing the microphone tattoo on LL's arm. Being the overly sensitive dude that he was though, Mr. Smith took this as some kind of insult, and tore Canibus to pieces in his final verse. Although Canibus reluctantly removed the offending line from his verse, LL left his scathing verse in the final version since he never actually mentions him by name and no one would know who he was talking about and would probably figure it for another nameless rap boast. That is, until Canibus came back at the legendary LL with this ridiculous diss track, possibly the best beef song ever all things considered; this was a new kid out of nowhere going against the veteran LL Cool J, the beat makes you want to punch your sister in the face and he even got Mike Tyson to spout some nonsense at the beginning, middle and end of the track. LL came back with his own rebuttal, but this was a knockout indeed. Canibus never lived up to the hype and drifted off into underground rap purgatory somewhere but he'll always be remembered as rap's Buster Douglas. Good night.

Best Line: "It's about who strikes the hardest not who strikes first, that's why I laugh when I hear that wack ass verse, that shit was the worst, rhyme I ever heard in my life, 'cuz the greatest rapper of all time died on March 9th".

Beef Song of the Week

7. "F#%$ Wit Dre Day"-Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Doggy Dogg (1992) (dissing Eazy E, Tim Dogg, and Luke)
Old men like me love to talk about the good old days, when rap beefs weren't settled in YouTube clips and twitter accounts (you crazy kids and your twitting!), but in wacky low-budget videos shown on Yo MTV Raps and The Box, where a goofy looking comedian could play the part of the mark ass buster who's being dissed. The buster in question for this week's entry is none other than the late, great Eazy E.

Dre and Eazy revolutionized Gangsta Rap in the early '90s as the production/rapping and rapping/breakout star respectively of NWA. Due to a falling out involving Eazy's manager and original snake Jerry Heller as well as Eazy's desire to break off into a solo career, things got kind of ugly. My favorite part of the video was the fake Eazy dancing on the side of the road with a "will rap for food" sign. Classic.

Best Line: "Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay, the sound of a dog brings me to another day. Play with my bone, would ya Timmy? It seems like you're good for making jokes about your jimmy. Well, here's a jimmy joke about your mama that you might not like. I heard she was a Frisco dyke"

Beef Song of the Week

14. Not Rich and Still Lying-50 Cent dissing The Game (2005)
This guy again. Compton's The Game had become a star thanks to Dr. Dre beats and 50 choruses during the height of G-unit's dominance in the early 2000's (or whatever you want to call that decade), but, as usually happens with rappers, things soured between the Game and G-unit. In true WWE fashion, Game and 50 went from friends to enemies because Game didn't distance himself far enough from Ja Rule and Fat Joe..or something like that. Either way, they were very angry at each other, Game launched his G-uNOT campaign, songs were made accusing each other of being snitches and or strippers (maybe true), or being on corny 90s dating shows (very true), etc. They briefly and publicly patched things up for their, I kid you not, G-unity charity but that was probably just for show (Game doesn't look too happy in that pic up there). In the end, people were shot outside of Hot 97 and these guys still don't like each other very much.

By this point, 50 had beefed with so many industry people, and recorded so many beef songs, that he had to get a little creative. After you've made fun of someone's career, family, rap sales, criminal history (or lack thereof) there's no where to go but imitate them in a funny voice. Curtis doesn't say all that much here, but it's the only diss song I know of where someone just rapped as the person they're dissing. And he actually sounds a lot like Game. That alone earns inclusion in the top 20. Also some decent shit-talking by 50 at the end, but not his best. Still, the entire track is vintage "I'm too rich to even think of a song dissing you" 50. (Below, you can see Game on "Change of Heart" in a funny shirt. He chose to stay together, she had a change of heart).

Best Line: "Didn't you say you woke up out the coma 2001? Well, your brother says you were never in a coma. Didn't you say you were in a gang? Well, your brother says you were never in a gang"

Top 20 Beef Songs

15. We Are The Streets: The L.O.X. dissing Puffy (2000)

It seems like ages ago, (and I guess 15 years in rap time qualifies as an age), but Jadakiss, Styles and Sheek began their careers as another cog in the Bad Boy wheel during the label's heyday at the end of the 20th century. Although they still put out some "aggressive content" (the title track off their only album under Puff, Money, Power and Respect is a street classic) they were also forced into making out of character songs and videos that fit the '80s sampling, Z100 friendly Bad Boy sound post Biggie. Everyone is pretty friendly with Diddy now in the rap industry (he even worked extensively with underground darling Jay Electronica) so it's easy to forget that for a few years there, Puffy and Mase were symbolic of the decline of hip hop, and its' glorified materialism and lack of creativity. The L.O.X. got caught up in this to an extent, but you could sort of tell that their hearts weren't into the "shiny suit" stuff.


Of course, as long as the money was right, I'm sure Jada and them would have gritted their teeth and gone along with all the buffoonery. But, this is Diddy were talking about, who it appears to not have met an artist yet that he hasn't tried to rape financially. The boys from Yonkers would eventually be granted a release to sign with DMX's Ruff Ryders camp (the antithesis to the Bad Boy bling) but not before a long, dragged out battle for their freedom, complete with "Let the LOX go" t-shirts, threats over the radio to "throw a refrigerator" at Puff if he didn't get their paper work right, and of course this song off of their first (and only) album with RR.

This track was pretty brutal, even as beef songs go. With rhymes about kidnapping Sean's mother, pistol whipping his son, as well as threats of violence against his then girlfriend, J-Lo, this is the L.O.X. at their ignorant best. In the years since, all has been forgiven and they've even worked together on a few songs and in concert, but at least we'll always have a couple of beef songs to remember the good old days. Take that, take that, take that.

Everyone did their thing on this so I'll highlight the best line from each group member:

Sheek:

"I see you from the Hamptons to the place you like to eat, I'll put something in those yams you keep thinking is sweet"

Jada:

"I don't care how many checks you wrote, I just want to see how you gonna dance when your neck get broke"

Styles:

"If you let the P call it, I don't feel your ass, I wish duke was still alive and they killed your ass"

Artists to Check For

I'll admit, I don't follow the underground rap scene all that closely anymore for a variety of reasons, chiefly due to the fact that the quality of the music has suffered as technology has improved. Any schmuck who saves up a thousand dollars or so (or can borrow their father's credit card) can now record and distribute an album using equipment that was unattainable by common folk 10 or 15 years ago. With so many wanna be rappers and producers out there, it makes it more and more difficult to weed out the suckers. Occasionally though, a new jack will stand out a little.

Sounding more than a little like a white Ghostface (both in the voice and constant food references) Action Bronson is a rapper out of Flushing (maybe the most under represented Queens neighborhood in hip hop) that has got my attention recently. With a wicked flow and jazz sample beats that are reminiscent of '90s New York rap, he manages to sound like that golden era (as I've said before my favorite period in music) without sounding dated. His rhymes are funny without being corny, and he doesn't pander to any sub-genre (nerd, street, drug dealer or old school rap). The dude can just rap. One of the few new rap LP's (particularly from an "underground" rapper) that I can highly recommend.

Check him out here and buy the new album featuring guest appearances from fellow Lo head Meyhem Lauren and others. You'll be glad you did.

Top 5 Nate Dogg Choruses

As I wrote here earlier, before Akon and T-Pain were all over every record on the radio and before rappers cut out the middle man and just sang their own hooks a la 50cent or Drake, the go to guy for a funky chorus was Nate Dogg, who sadly passed away last night at 41. Specializing in choruses about gangster things (he was a huge part of the G funk movement), Nate blessed scores of huge (and not so huge) records through out his career. Let's take a look at my top 5:


5. My Name-Xzibit feat. Eminem and Nate Dogg

This all but forgotten Xzibit song (actually a Jermaine Dupri diss record) is a good example of late era Nate, when he might have lost a little off his fastball, resulting in the doubled up vocals that were used on most of his choruses in his later years. I actually like the sound of it though, almost sounds like a gangsta robot. Also gotta love "hurt you so long you'll be addicted to pain".


4. Till I Collapse-Eminem feat. Nate Dogg

This one is probably best known for being in a Call of Duty commercial now, but at the time, this was a highlight of Marshall's lackluster third album, in no small part because of the "We Will Rock You" drums and Nate's inspirational chorus (I like the double duty he pulls on the background vocals during his hook). This song is also a staple of ESPN highlight packages and sports arenas everywhere.


3. Ain't No Fun-Snoop Doggy Dogg feat. The Dogg Pound

Maybe the greatest sung intro to any rap song ever. "Just lay back and open your mouth".


2. The Next Episode-Dr.Dre feat. Snoop Dogg and Nate Dogg

In the discussion for the most famous last words to any rap song (which unfortunately was edited for the video and radio versions), but still might be the most tweeted and Facebook statused Nate lyric today: "Smoke weed every day".


1. Regulate- Warren G feat. Nate Dogg

Nate's shining moment, "16 in the clip and one in the hole, Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold". Smooth. RIP.

RIP Nate Dogg

Before Akon or T-Pain, Nate Dogg was the best at singing gangsta choruses on a rap song. He will be missed.

Beef Song of the Week

16.Calling Out Names: Kurupt Dissing DMX, Ja Rule and 50 cent (1999)
There's so many reasons that rappers beef with one another. Stolen lyrics, a misinterpreted line in a song (or a correctly interpreted line), money, association with an enemy, and on and on and on.

Then there were incidents that crossed over from petty stuff like that to reasons even closer to home; each other's wives/girlfriends/baby's mothers. From Biggie and Tupac to Jay-z and NaS, messing with some one's girl has been the root of many a rap beef.

Nobody got more riled up over someone scraping their wife than Dogg Pound Gangsta, Kurupt. Coming off the heels of a much publicized break up with Foxy Brown, Kurupt totally lost his mind over the prospect of a pre-crack DMX (who at the time was unbelievably popular) getting some ill na na. Over this very west coast sounding beat, Kurupt sounds like he might not have quite gotten over the break up at this point. This might also be the only instance of someone dissing Ja and 50 on the same song (50 because of his "plottin to jux her for that rock Kurupt copped" line on "How to Rob" and Ja because...ehh, why the hell not?). Anyway, Kurupt is really mad, even dissing a movie like it's a person.

This otherwise very ballsy beef song is this low on the list due to Kurupt being so apologetic to everyone else in New York. We don't need to hear about everyone you're cool with on a beef song.

Best Line: "Mothaf$%k D, Mothaf$%k M, only X I know is Xzibit or Rbx, Extraordinary tryin' to snatch my bitch, you can have the bitch, 2 bitches gettin' rich"

The Greatest Rapper of All Time Died on March 9th?

What I'm going to say may hurt people, it might be seen as bordering on blasphemy (particularly coming from a Brooklyn guy).Let me preface what I'm about to say by first letting it be known that I love Biggie. I grew up listening to him, he was a ridiculously talented and charismatic dude, I love that he represented Brooklyn at all times, and he definitely cemented his place in music history as one of the greatest rappers of all time. But I wouldn't say he is THE greatest of all time.

Before you all x out PTU and go straight to ESPN.com or leave comments saying how I'm an idiot who knows nothing about rap, consider what it takes to be called the greatest at anything. Let's compare it to a sports career (as I do so often with music). A hall of fame career (never mind being called the greatest of all time) would require at least 9 or 10 years of sustained greatness coupled with dominance at your position in each season. This is probably my biggest issue with labeling the black Frank White as the greatest. His career only lasted 4 years (really) with only 2 albums. Great, classic albums but still, only 2. While my father would tell anyone who will listen that Drazen Petrovic could shoot better than 95% of the NBA today, no one else would say he is the greatest shooter of all time. There's just not enough of a career there to support that claim. Same for Big.

If we look at Biggie from a technical standpoint, the claim of greatest of all time is also suspect. Lyrically and flow wise he could go toe to toe with any rapper, but off the top of my head I could think of at least 3 rappers who were or are probably more skilled lyricists (Nas, Kool G Rap, Eminem, I could name more).

So why do most rap fans and critics immediately place Biggie at the top? For starters, there's always the risk of over rating the dead. James Dean was a great actor, but his talent is really overshadowed by his lifestyle and untimely death. Same goes for 2pac, River Phoenix and Heath Ledger. Maybe you could throw Jimi Hendrix in that conversation too. When you lose someone before they really reached their potential, people want to believe that their best work was yet to come. Who knows what would have happened had Biggie lived to 40? There was a huge backlash against the versace and jewelry flossing rappers in the late 90s and Biggie might have caught some of that had he lived to see it.

The real reason that we'll always love Big Poppa, and have crowned him king might be that he represents a time in most rap listeners' lives. The mid 90s when hip hop was in its prime (the golden age in my opinion) and it seemed like it would only get better. Biggie was this (as he said himself) fat, black and ugly dude who still got chicks and could rap circles around the competition. Then he was shot over who knows what by who knows. It doesn't seem fair. It doesn't matter that he only had 2 albums or he wasn't technically the best rapper. He did his thing for a couple years and then he was gone at the age that most of us were just moving out of our parents houses. It's not fair so we call him the greatest. And I guess if he means that much to people then he is their greatest and that's really all that counts. RIP B.I.G.