PTU Keeping it Real Hall of Fame: Delonte West

This is a long time coming. Everyone's favorite motherfucker is the Andre Dawson of the PTU keeping it real Hall of Fame, passed up by the likes of inferior real keepers like Rafer Alston and Miguel Cabrera. Today, though, he will get his just due as the realest dude in all of sports. What makes that skinny, tattoo covered ginger the poster boy for keeping it 100? Let's take a look at his highlight reel:

• Possibly banged his teammate's mother (which is usually very uncool) but that teammate was LeBron James (awesome)
• Was arrested with all types of weaponry on a motorcycle (including a sword and guns in guitar cases Desperado style)
• Blamed that arrest on Vicodin
• Applied at a Home Depot during the lockout
• Applied (and worked) at a furniture store during the lockout
• Purchased a White '94 Ford Bronco to get his OJ Simpson on
• Broke down in the middle of the road while driving said Bronco home and had to push it through the streets

This is just a small sample of the oeuvre of Delonte "keep it real" West. In fact, most people are ignorant to the fact that Delonte is actually an African phrase meaning "Keepin it real motherfucker" and never has there been a person more aptly named. His use of the phrase "OJ Style" is enough to earn him a spot in the PTUKIRHOF, but his continually awesome yet befuddling behavior is what cements his place in the immortal halls. Keep on fighting the power, Delonte.

The Keeping It Real Hall of Fame: Skip to my Lou

Rafer "Skip to my lou" Alston is a streetball legend, and the only member of the And1 mixtape boogie woogiers to have a substantial NBA career (he might be the only guy to actually make the league). After witnessing his thuggin' over the past few years,though, it's no wonder that none of those other guys have landed in the pros. Skip put together a decent journeyman career, and was totally able to suppress his streetball antics on the court. He rarely ever threw a behind the back pass in an NBA game, never mind trying some of that other foolishness that would make Larry Brown throw up on the court. Off the court, though, Jamaica Queen's own Skip is apparently as real as it gets. Over the past couple years, he's been arrested for:

• Public Intoxication and assault in Houston during his Rockets days
• Driving well over the legal drinking limit
• Slicing a man's throat outside of New York hot spot Stereo

And just yesterday, he got knocked for allegedly (as all of these accusations are) smashing a guy over the head with a bottle outside of Queens strip club Perfections. Is there anything this man can't do? In perp circles, Rafer's what you would call a 5 tool player: he's equally adept with a razor or empty champagne bottle as he is with the rock in his hands, and his drunk driving is as smooth as his crossover dribble. He's also been known to not back down from on the court trouble, just ask Eddie House. Until the Professor is brought up on charges of catching a buck fifty across some poor dope's face outside of 10ak, Rafer Alston will remain the lone And 1 performer in the Metta World Peace Keeping it Real Hall of Fame. Salute!

The Ron Artest Hall of Fame (Formerly the PTU Keeping It Real Hall of Fame)

Sometime in early February 2011, a group of ambitious and bored friends from Brooklyn decided to turn their e-mails into a blog so the whole world could share in our bull shit. 32 years earlier Ron Artest was born. And there has never been a better fit between player and meaningless blog.

Ron captures everything about a keeping it real athlete in one somewhat disturbed package:

• He admitted to drinking Hennessy at halftime of games.
• He ran into the crowd and punched opposing team's fans (completely unrelated to the Hennessy thing)
• Witnessed at least one death on the court as a youth involving a table chair through the heart
• Thanked his Psychiatrist in his post-game 7 on court interview and then appeared at the press conference with what seemed like half of Queensbridge
• Got pulled over driving a street legal racing car in Los Angeles mid-day traffic
• Has a hip-hop record label, Tru Warrior Records, which he once had carved into his head (his hair, that is, although carving it into his head would be even more keeping it real).
• Does not seem to be phased by big game situations, such as game 7s.
• Kisses his biceps after routine lay-ups

The PTU Keeping it Real Hall of Fame is now officially the Ron Artest Hall of Fame; Let us bask in the realness that is Ron-Ron. Say Queensbridge.

PTU Keeping it Real Hall of Fame Nominee: Crazy Horse 40's

While writing about the Snooty beer of the week, I got nostalgic about some of the keeping it real beer I used to enjoy prior to high class beverages like Ommegang. One stands out as being the king of keeping it real beer: the Crazy Horse 40 ounce.

Crazy Horse was that special type of 40 that would put even heavy hitters like OE to shame. Sure you had Big Bear as the cheapest 40 and Colt 45 as the classic standby, but NOTHING got the job done like Crazy Horse. We used to notice that no two bottles of Crazy Horse were ever the same, and you could tell how good one would taste by seeing how much white residue was settled at the bottom of the bottle. Although the alcohol content was similar to other 40's, there was something special about Crazy Horse that would really get you twasted.

Unfortunately, much like the St. Johns Redmen, political correctness caught up with Crazy Horse, eventually leading to it's demise. Nice piece of trivia according to "Modern Drunkard Magazine":

“In compensation for this insult and defamation to the spirit of Crazy Horse, G. Heileman Brewing Company, one of the early brewers of Crazy Horse, settled a lawsuit with a group of Native Americans by apologizing and compensating them with seven race horses, 32 Pendleton blankets, braids of tobacco and sweet grass."


Guess this wasn't enough to save the most keeping it real 40 of all time.....RIP CRAZY HORSE 40's.

Jalen Rose Keeps it Real

Who knew? Jalen Rose isn't always a stiff douche who spits out bland "analysis" such as "Kevin Durant is a great scorer because he can beat you so many ways, the great jump shot or slash to the basket. Back to you, Stu." As evidenced by his starring role in the ESPN documentary about the "Fab Five", you get Jalen out of the suit and give him free reign to discuss his glory years in college and he actually has a lot of interesting things to say. The doc itself, while very informative, suffers a little due to the absence of the central figure in the Fab Five sensation, Chris Webber (it's a bit like doing a documentary on the Beatles and interviewing every one but Lennon) who, understandably I guess, declined to be a part of it due to the fact that so much of the film is built around his failures (the time-out play and his taking money from a booster that basically erased the team from the history books).

Still, Jalen makes up for C-Webb's absence by keeping it real through out.

Some of the best stuff from Jalen during the film:

• He thought Christian Laettner was a pussy and resented Grant Hill because he came from a happy black family
• He wore 42 to spite his biological father, Jimmy Walker, (not that Jimmy Walker) who wore 24 in the NBA but ran out on Jalen when he was born
• He knows what a crack house looks like
• He used to call the Ohio State Buckeyes the F#@k eyes
• He thought C-Webb bitched out by throwing the booster Ed Martin under the bus and their friendship was never the same
• He liked EPMD a lot
• He played beer pong and drank 40s in college, but so did everyone else
• He was an expert trash talker, researching opposing players' mothers names and anything "crazy" that had happened to their family in the weeks prior to playing them
• He didn't want to go to Europe with the team because "it wasn't Detroit"
• The team wore plain blue t shirts (without a Nike or Michigan logo) during starting lineups to protest the exploitation of their image by everyone

and that's just some of the fun facts that I learned from Jalen Rose during the film. Now if they could just somehow work crack houses into those boring ESPN broadcasts.

Miguel Cabrera: Keeping It Real Update

Numerous news outlets are reporting that there is more to the Miguel Cabrera DUI story then just getting drunk. According to reports, Miguel walked into Cowboys Bar-B-Q & Steak Co and went crazy

"You don’t know me,” Cabrera told the bar’s manager. “I will kill you. I know all of you, and I will kill all of you and blow this place up.”


Here is to Cabrera stepping it up in the race to keep it real, I think he might get into the PTU Keeping It Real Hall of Fame on the first ballot now. 

Smokin' Joe, A Class Act

Muhammad Ali's greatness is something that people have written and spoken about for what seems forever, and rightfully so. He's arguably the greatest athlete of any modern sport. Like all great athletes, he needed his rivals to bring out the best in him and provide him with epic battles.

Watching the Knicks last night, I was reminded that today marks 40 years since the "Fight of the Century". 15 brutal rounds against two undefeated champs. People remember the fight for a multitude of reasons. I'd like to remember it for the example set by Smokin' Joe. Joe was the champ and wanted to legitimize his claim to the title. He could only do that by beating Ali. Rather than duck or hide, Frazier helped Ali stay afloat financially and did everything in his hands to make sure he got the fight.

Joe has gone on record as saying, "I didn't want the reputation of trying to duck or shun anybody." He certainly proved it by taking on the greatest fighter in the world and doing everything in his power to make sure the fight got off before a Supreme Court decision that would decide Ali's future. He proved it further by taking on an awesome George Foreman. After losing, he kept it real with saying, "I lost that fight fair and square...It ain't the first time I've been whooped."

Joe is an example of the chivalry that once existed in boxing and what a champ should be. Forty years ago today, he showed the world what a perfect left hook really looks like, and had his day as champ. Smokin' Joe, PTU salutes you.

The Rise and Fall of Jeremy Shockey

Jeremy Shockey, who once upon a time was a star of the National Champion Hurricanes, a NY Giants first round draft pick, and 2X Super Bowl Champion, is headed to the lowly Panthers. Carolina is coming off a terrible 2-14 season, they don't have a QB, and they just fired their long time coach, John Fox. Making things worse, if the lockout occurs a team with no QB and a new head coach is going to be at an even greater disadvantage. What is Jeremy thinking?

Over at PTU we discussed this and we think he is happy with the millions of dollars and two Super Bowl rings and is getting an early start on retirement. North Carolina is the perfect place to drink Miller High Life and get into bar fights as you ease into retirement.

We are hoping to determine the over/under for the following...lets get the odds going!

• Number of games Shockey sits out with Injuries this year (6?)
• Number of bar fights Shockey gets in during 2011 (2?)
• Number of DUI arrests for Shockey during 2011. (1?)

Pick The Perp

Click Here To Play Pick The Perp Game



Came across this website which seems to share some common themes with our blog. If you click on the link above, you'll get to play a game where they name the crime and you pick who the correct perp is from the line-up. These are actual mugshots available from public records.

At first glance this may seem like some type of awful website that would offend a lot of people. I'm actually going to say this game promotes tolerance and proves that you can't judge a perp by how they look. You might be convinced that the bald old guy with the beady eyes is the sex offender only to be surprised that it is the lady that looks like an elementary school teacher.... This site is a great way to promote tolerance and understanding.

Keeping It Real Gas Station Sign

I would like to nominate this sign for keeping it real sign of the year. One stop shopping for fried chicken, check cashing, phone cards and lotto.

PTU Keeping It Real Candidate: Miguel Cabrera

Miggy was arrested for DUI in dramatic fashion last night. He had a blood alcohol level of .26 which is the equivalent of 13 drinks in one hour for a man his weight. That's definitely enough to make you yell at police who approach you "Do you know who I am? You don't know anything about my problems!". Well, now they know of one problem. Reportedly he also was drinking a bottle of scotch when the police pulled him over and even took a swig from it in front of them. That's keeping it real. He's had some issues with alcohol in the past but this is a new level of TWASTEDness. Still, how can you hate a guy with a mug shot like this?

PTU Keep it real Hall of Fame

Russell Jones aka Ol' Dirty Bastard might be the realest keeping of keeping it real humans ever.
Everything he did was Dirty being Dirty. His exploits on tv have been well documented from taking MTV cameras with him to cash his welfare check (in a stretch limo no less) to hijacking Shawn Colvin's Grammy speech (wu-tang loves the babies) the guy said and did whatever popped into his head. It wasn't a manufactured crazy like Lady Gaga or someone who did it for the attention. This dude was just nuts. Compared to the current state of hip hop where one of the most popular rappers is a former corrections officer who pretends to have been a more successful version of Pablo Escobar, it's nice to see how ODB was genuinely himself at all times. Even the hiphop definition of "real" which usually means how closely your lyrics mirror your actual street experiences is an act for the most part. With few exception, rappers do not live their lyrics. Just by doing a boat load of drugs and being absurd, ODB was the realest rapper who ever lived.

Ol' Dirty Bastard: Inaugural PTU Keepin' it real Hall of Fame inductee.

Jake Plummer: PTU keepin it real award candidate

Jake Plummer is living the dream. Hippy beard, goofy t-shirts and a taste for PBRs. Now he can devote his time to a sport that he really loves like handball. It wasn't like he couldn't get a job in the NFL either, he reportedly turned down a couple starting QB offers to do what the hell he wants. I think we can all relate to the idea of quitting our boring full-time jobs (even if none of us have any job a millionth as cool as NFL QB) and spend our thirties drinking beer and hanging out on a handball court. Salute this man.

Jake Plummer: Keepin it real award candidate (stay tuned for more candidates soon).