N.F.L. Not for Losers Week 4

Today we have a special edition of Not for Losers, not only do we have my mush friend's pick, but I have the pick of an expert. Since game time is in an hour I will spare you the mush loss of the week and just give you his pick and the experts pick.

The Mush likes 49ers -3.5 and the over 42.5.

The Expert likes the 49ers -3

Good Luck and use at your own risk. I am actually taking the experts advice tonight :-)

So Long, Bradshaw and Boley

In cost-cutting maneuvers, the Giants released three of their veteran players this week: Michael Boley, Chris Canty and (maybe most surprisingly) Ahmad Bradshaw. After last week's second half of the season it was inevitable that some heads would roll, but few had envisioned one of those heads to be the team's number one running back Bradshaw. David Wilson flipped his way into the hearts of Giants fans this season but it's still unexpected. For his part, Bradshaw's handled the move with class and even hinted that he'd be open to returning for a lesser salary. Whatever ends up happening between now and September, let's take a look at the two most memorable moments in the Bradshaw and Boley era.

Bradshaw's unintentional game winning ass TD in 2011

 

and the greatest moment in Boley's career and worst moment in that poor bastard's life

 

 

 

and here's Chris Canty playing golf

 

 

 

Timsanity: Tebow Comes To New York

Even if it's only the Jets, Tim Tebow will still be awkwardly annoying and inspiring people in New York next season (or at least New Jersey). If you thought he got a lot of hype when he played in Denver, you ain't seen nothing yet. I suppose it's a good move, at least for PR purposes, but it's not like the Jets suffer in the ticket sales department. As far as football wise, it seems a little odd seeing as how the Jets recently proclaimed Mark Sanchez as their guy for the future, and as recently as this morning certain Jets players with lots of illegitimate kids expressed their displeasure with a possible Tebow trade. With Sparano running things though, we can expect to see that Dolphin style Wildcat offense, something the Jets ran a lot when Brad Smith was in green.

However it turns out for NY's other football team on the field, it's a big splashy story that will draw a ton of attention beginning today until the Jets inevitably are knocked out of the playoff race. Will Tebow take offense to Rex Ryan's salty language? Will he tell Santonio Holmes to leave the clubs and liquor alone? Will Hater J give up watching football? Linsanity will look like the local buzz over a cable access show compared to the type of rapturous hype that we'll see if Tebow does anything positive for the Jets. If anything, this now makes the Jets must see tv for a little while, a season after watching the Giants once again prove their domination of the NY football landscape, as well as ensures many pissed off and annoyed e-mails from Hater J. And to think, all these years I thought God hated the Jets.

Peyton Manning Will Play for the Denver Broncos

My inside sources have told me that Peyton Manning will sign with the Denver Broncos (These not the same inside sources that said the NBA lock out would last 2 years)

My source has told me Peyton is signing with Denver for the following reasons.

1. Denver has over 50 Million in Cap space,this will allow Peyton Manning to get paid, and bring in such players as Reggie Wayne, Jeff Saturday , and Dallas Clark. At the same time this extra cap space will allow Denver to go after free Agents like Mario Williams which will only bolster the good defense that Denver had in 2011.

2. The AFC west is Joke compared to every other Division and it would be a cake walk for Peyton and his new team.

3. Denver has a wealth of football experience with John Fox and John Elway making the majority of football decisions. Other teams in the mix can't offer that.

4.Tim Tebow, now becomes either juicy trade bait or one of the most dangerous end zone players in the game. The options this creates for Denver's new offense will have opposing defenses spinning for weeks.

Basically Denver will mortgage their future in order to get themselves closer to a Super Bowl, then they have been in the past few years.

M@D Out!

The Giants Are Super Bowl Champions: Suck it, New England.

The Giants pulled off another near miracle tonight, defeating the Patriots thanks to stone handed Patriot tight ends (and a hobbled Gronkowski), terrific play by their receiving corps, and perhaps most importantly, a great performance by Eli Manning, who has put to rest any debate over whether or not he is an elite quarterback in the NFL (something that even we debated not too long ago). Who would have thought that Peyton's little brother would have one more Super Bowl ring than he did at this point? As we now bask in the glory of another Big Blue championship in a season that seemed like it was all but over 2 months ago, and enjoy the toilet paper and horn honking chaos of another impromptu victory celebration in Brooklyn, let's savor the moment. The Giants are world champions.

M@D Gamble~Super Bowl Prop Bets

"I make the bets so you don't have to" "Nor should you"

Its time for my weekly installment of M@D Gamble, This weeks wager is Super Bowl Prop bets. The prop bet I am interested in is who will be Super Bowl MVP. I am going away from the Norm and of course I am gambling: I am betting on a running being an MVP this year. With so much attention being paid to the QBs and the passing game, I see both coaches trying to get up the pass with the running game, with a broken tackle or two one these 3 men above could break away for a long touchdown or two and perhaps effect the game enough to become its MVP.

SO the bets are:

Ahmad Bradshaw: 20/1

BenJarus Green-Ellis 30/1

Brandon Jacobs 40/1

Those are my Bets. OF course I am rooting for the Giants.

GO GIANTS!

A Guide to Hanging Out For the Super Bowl

It's finally almost here. I can say without a trace of sarcasm that the Super Bowl is better than Christmas for me these days. Christmas was awesome when I was a kid and just raked in the goodies without a care in the world, but now it's all stress and spending money that we don't really have to buy people things they don't really need. The Super Bowl, on the other hand, is the GREATEST DAY OF THE YEAR no matter your age, race or class (unless you don't have a TV or friends I guess). And it's awesome every year, but it's even more kick-ass when a New York team is involved. So this year should be even more of a glorious day to be a human since the G-men are involved. The only downside to the hometown team playing in the biggest sporting event in the world is finding a place to watch the game. Most bars will be charging an arm and a leg to set foot on their premises and eat a chicken finger, and trying to find that right mix of Giants fans and non annoying friends is a real hassle. Perhaps you should consult this stupid guide to hanging out for the Super Bowl




If you're going to a bar, make sure it's a Giants bar. This might seem obvious, but the number of transplanted folks from all those other places has resulted in there being a bar dedicated to every single professional and college team you can think of (besides the Nets). The last thing you want to do is end up somewhere like Professor Thom's because it sounds like a place where intelligent folks gather to catch a beer and watch some football, and then find yourself surrounded by Massholes named Kevin and Sully who jerk off to Tom Brady's Gillette ads every night.




If you're staying home, make sure you have the right foods in place. Stay away from the buffet with all types of gourmet dinner and snooty hors douvres. Stick to the basics: chips, dip and salsa, possibly pizza or EPH, lots of different types of beer and liquour and of course THE BIG SANDWICH. There are but only so many instances in life that you are face to face with evidence of a higher being who has created beautiful things for his children to enjoy. A big sandwich isn't really that unless you're some kind of a fat bastard but it's pretty fun to eat something that's as tall as you. Plus, it's a good excuse to remember that Simpsons episode.




Don't have any children around (if possible). This may be difficult to avoid. If you're the one throwing the party and you have a couple rugrats, there's not really anything you can do about it. But there will be gambling, alcohol consumption, adult language, drug use and fornication (what kind of Super Bowl parties do YOU go to?) and other things that children should not be a part of. Finding a sitter may be tough but if possible, tell Grandma she has a little visitor this week and spare us all the crying, puking and shitting themselves while we try to enjoy the big game. Besides, if you have friends like us, there will be plenty of that going on already.



Don't have any douchebags around (if possible). This one is also difficult to avoid, and may be totally out of your control. You can ensure your guest list will be d-bag free but you can't be so positive your friends won't bring their asshole significant others or douchey stragglers who weren't invited to other parties (with good reason). You know the type: talk during the game at the worst times, comment pretentiously about how they don't understand football or how lame every commercial is ("that was great") or they're the type of douche who knows WAY too much about football. Fucker got Red Zone on Fios last year and now he's Tom Friggin' Landry. Try not to have him around but if you're usually that guy, don't be that guy.

So, everyone enjoy the game. Get shitfaced and eat too many nachos and hopefully you had the foresight to use one of your vacation days Monday.

My prediction: Giants 35 Patriots 24.

Let's gooooo.

Hater J's NFC Picks

Like any other major American sport, the NFL playoffs provide men of all ages an excuse to yell at each other, drink tons of beer with our buddies while completely ignoring our significant others , act like we know something after four months of participating in Pick ‘Em Pools and Fantasy Leagues, and of course gamble. With that, here go my picks, thoughts, and probable wagers for this weekend, and an open invitation for Bottle to take his Tom Brady man love to new heights, M@d to make a weird reverse jinx pick, and Mr. D/Snoot/Bagels to figure out a different way we can all lose some money.

I’ll start with the NFC Picks.

Giants (- 3)
This team wouldn’t surprise anyone if they won the whole thing or lost on Sunday. Giants fans have seen them beat Brady, in Foxboro, on a 4th Quarter comeback. However, we have also seen them lose to Rex Grossman…twice.
They’re finally getting healthy, Eli is Manning is playing at the highest level of his career (that includes the Super Bowl run), the run game seems to have found balance, and with the emergence of Victor Cruz, people seem to have forgotten that Hakeem Nicks is a threat to go for six receptions and 100 yards on any given Sunday. The Giants secondary leaves a bunch to be desired, but as they showed this past Sunday, their front four is finally healthy and very capable of getting pressure. The Falcons have deep threats in White and Jones, but Matt Ryan tends to hold the ball for a bit (primed for a sack or three), has struggled on the road throughout his career, and doesn’t look so pretty in the playoffs either.
All of that said, the Giants can still lose this game in an all too familiar fashion. Giants fans across the world can envision a team that comes out flat, allows a 60 yard TD to Jones/White, have a quiet stadium, making a fluky play to get back in it, only to lose and break our hearts again.

Super Bowl Odds:
Atlanta (40/1) - I can’t see the Falcons beating the Packers/49ers/Saints/AFC that plays in the Super Bowl.
Giants (20/1) – They can play with any of the AFC teams. Their road to the Super Bowl would be Atlanta, at Green Bay (or San Fran, should the Saints lose to the Lions), then at San Fran (or at home against the Lions, should they make it that far). Those all sound like winnable games to me. Not that they’d be favored to win those, but all winnable.

Lions (+10.5)
Two dome teams built for speed and offense. None of them can stop anyone. The Saints are the better coached of the two (Sean Payton vs Jim Schwartz is a no contest) but the Lions have nothing to lose and the Saints have all the expectations in the world.

These two teams played to the tune of a 31-17 New Orleans win in a game that opened with the Saints up 17-0. Detroit is very good and accustomed to scoring late. I don’t expect them to win, but they should be able to compete. At the very least this Detroit team is good for some garbage time TD’s to make this close and get you your cover.

Super Bowl Odds:
Lions (50/1) – This young team does not play defense and is very raw. They may be able to be capable of winning a sloppy shoot out, but I can’t see them going very far.

Saints (9/2) – They’ve become a popular pick. Those odds suck for the risk you’re taking though. They have NEVER won a road playoff game. They would have to go out west after this track meet to play a 49ers team that can slow the game with their run/short passing game, and make things tough with their front seven. Then they would have to Green Bay (or host New York) where either team can give them a headache. Through the season, the Saints have only played 5 outdoor games with a loss to Green Bay and Tampa, and narrow wins over Jacksonville, Carolina, and Tennessee. That’s scary…

The BYE Weeks

Packers (8/5) – Pretty crap odds for a team with a banged up front line, a pretty ugly defense, and no real run game to speak of. I still like the Packers to win the whole thing. Having one of the largest home field advantages in all of sports along with the best QB in football with a number of weapons at his disposal will help mask their flaws, but there is no value in betting on them.

49ers (12/1) – They play great defense, they run the ball well, Alex Smith had only 5 picks in their ball control offense, they’re well coached, they have a bye, and they have a home game. What I don’t like about this team is that they’ll be playing against an offense (Green Bay/New Orleans/New York) that can score points and they may get behind by 7-10 points early. I don’t know that Smith can be trusted to bring a team back from that.

Does the Bye week determine who the next Super Bowl Champion is?

In 1990, the NFL introduced a bye week to the schedule. Each team played sixteen regular season games over seventeen (eighteen in 1993 and 2001) weeks. During the season, on a rotating basis, each team would have the weekend off. As a result, opening weekend was moved up to Labor Day weekend. (The league had an odd number of teams (31) from 1999 to 2001. During that period, at least one team had to be given a bye on any given week.)
Since the 2002 season, the league has scheduled a nationally televised regular season kickoff game on the Thursday night after Labor Day, prior to the first Sunday of NFL games to kick off the season. The first one, featuring the San Francisco 49ers and the New York Giants, was held on September 5, 2002 .Since 2004, the NFL has indicated that the opening game will normally be hosted by the defending Super Bowl champions as the official start of their title defense. Thus, under this scheduling system, the earliest the regular season could begin is September 4, as it was in the 2008 season, due to the 1st falling on a Monday, while the latest possible is September 10, as it was in the 2009 season, due to the 1st falling on a Tuesday.

But I have always wondered if it matter when your bye week was. Does an early bye week give you the opportunity to right the ship early or is a late bye week an advantage since a team has played a majority of their schedule and now can take a well deserved rest?
Here is a look at the teams that played in the super bowl since 2002 and when their bye week fell.

YEAR	AFC TEAM	BYE WEEK	NFC TEAM	BYE WEEK	WINNER
2002	OAKLAND	WEEK 3	TAMPA BAY	WEEK 10	TAMPA BAY
2003	NEW ENGLAND	WEEK 10	CAROLINA	WEEK 3	NEW ENGLAND
2004	NEW ENGLAND	WEEK 3	PHILLY	WEEK 5	NEW ENGLAND
2005	PITTSBURGH	WEEK 4	SEATTLE	WEEK 8	PITTSBURGH
2006	INDIANAPOLIS	WEEK 6	CHICAGO	WEEK 7	INDIANAPOLIS
2007	NEW ENGLAND	WEEK 10	NY GIANTS	WEEK 9	NY GIANTS
2008	PITTSBURGH	WEEK 6	ARIZONA	WEEK 7	PITTSBURGH
2009	INDIANAPOLIS	WEEK 6	NEW ORLEANS	WEEK 5	NEW ORLEANS
2010	PITTSBURGH	WEEK 5	GREEN BAY	WEEK 10	GREEN BAY

The remaining teams in the Playoffs are

AFC

Cincinnati Bye week 7

Houston Bye week 11

Pittsburgh Bye week 11

Denver Bye Week 6

New England Bye week 7

Baltimore Bye Week 5

NFC

Detroit Bye Week 9

New Orleans Bye Week 11

Atlanta Bye Week 8

New York Giants Bye Week 7

San Francisco Bye Week 7

Green Bay Bye Week 8

The trend is as follows

2002 Late

2003 Late

2004 Early

2005 Early

2006 Early

2007 Early

2008 Early

2009 Early

2010 Late

Avg Bye week of AFC Team 6.5

Avg Bye week of NFC Team 7.1

So based on the favorites and the avg bye week of the teams that play each other in the super bowl. I predict the super bowl will be San Francisco vs New England.

I thank you all of you that stayed awake for this.

Go Giants!

Jets Vs. Giants Preview

The Jets and Giants are facing off this Christmas Eve and this time it means something. No, seriously, it really means something this time. This is the first time that the rivals are facing each other with the playoffs on the line for either squad since the LT days, and it's the first time I can remember a Giants Jets game ever having this much importance to both teams. For the Giants, this is practically a playoff game, and for the Jets it's not a must win but it's still huge for their playoff hopes. Over the past couple weeks the trash talk has been flying back and forth and it's shaping up to be a good one. Unfortunately, some of the luster has been lost due to the way both teams shit the bed last week but I expect both teams to play much better tomorrow or at least match each other's ineptitudes.

As the awesome cover above illustrates, New York has always been a Giants town. But there's been a slight shift in the past few years as a younger, dumber generation has been quicker to embrace the brash, cocky Rex Ryan image of the Jets over the stodgy, old Giants. Even though the G-men won a Super Bowl just 5 years ago, New Yorkers have short memories and, to be honest, the Giants have sucked over the past few seasons. Starting up great only to fold in the second half has been their M.O. and is beginning to make their amazing run in 07 look like a fluke. They can make the fair weather (and die hard) Jets fan shut the hell up with a big performance tomorrow.

Some thoughts from Hater J and I:

• The Giants secondary has been consistently terrible all season but that shouldn't matter in this game since Nacho can't throw a pass to save his life. He's only effective out of the play action and the Giants D-Line should rush him into a mistake or knock his ass on the ground.


• -Hakeem Nicks may be trapped on Revis island all day . That means the battle of the talented retards should be on display. Cromartie isn't all that great and Cruz may burn him. Expect some salsa dancing.


• Stop calling it Met Life Stadium. It's Giants Stadium, damn it.


• Rex Ryan is quickly becoming the most annoying person in spo...scratch that in the universe.


• The shit talk between the two teams is refreshing in a sports world where most intra city rivals act all respectful towards each other. The Yankees and Mets never have a bad word to say about each other, even though their fans detest one another. It's all so boring, and you know behind closed doors David Wright wants to knock Derek Jeter's teeth out with a Louisville Slugger .


• In a close game- Do you really trust Nick Folk? Didn't think so.

My pick- Giants 24 Jets 17.

Merry Christmas and enjoy the game, everyone!

My Two Cents on Tebow

I like what John Fox and the Denver Broncos are doing with Tim Tebow. People say that Tebow has nothing to do with the resurgence of their defense but I disagree he is part of a system that helps the defense. A smash mouth football offense leads to increased time of position which keeps Denver's defense off the field and rested. Also the Broncos are playing a style of offense that cuts off the field for the opposing teams, most of the Broncos' opponents when they score a touchdown have to go 70-80 yards every time. This aided by limiting passing attempts and hence limiting the opportunity for INTS. (In short Broncos' opponents don't get to score easy touchdowns). I don't think you can plug in any QB into a system like this, you need a disciplined, fast, smart, tough QB and Tebow is your man(Other Qbs like Vick are faster but not as tough, just ask his ribs). The Broncos had another system in place in the beginning of the season with Orton and it lead to a record of 1-4. Also Tebow averages 5 yards a rushing attempt (Two rushing attempts equal a first down)

Also Running the ball wins games more often than passing.

That statement is true; since 1995, in fact, teams have won 84 percent of the time when one running back has 30 attempts, but they’ve won just 28 percent when their quarterback has 40 attempts. This is even backed up by the correlations of pass and rush attempts to winning.(Tebow is for all purposes is a running back and I count the running backs as one collective group) I am on the John Fox band wagon not because Tebow has some mystical powers that turns loses into wins but because John Fox is using a system that his entire team can thrive in and his offense is not cookie cutter, I can only take so many back shoulder throws in the NFL.

In closing if I were to assign a percentage as to who is responsible for the Broncos winning, it would be something like this Tebow = 35% John Fox and his Game plan including Defense =65%

Jump Off The Tebow Bandwagon While You Still Can

Everyone here at PTU knows that Bottle has been a long time Tebow lover, along with our fellow blogger CAPTAIN POWER. If you've watched any of his recent games where he was able to eek out a win, you got to witness the announcers falling prey to Tebow fever. I fear this is also happening to some of our other PTU'ers, as even Mad has been impressed by Tebow lately. 

I'm here to tell you that you must resist the urge to jump on the Tebow bandwagon. Sure his team has rallied around him for some wins, but there are some key reasons this is short lived. 

• It's actually the #1 ranked running game that has helped the Broncos win.
• Yes Tebow is smart and reads the opposing defense well, but you can't say they win because of Tebow when their passing game is ranked #31. 
• For the most part, Tebow's wins have come against poor teams. In particular many of these teams have a weak run defense, which matches up well for the Broncos. 

When the Broncos have to play a team with a strong run defense who have any type of offense, it's not going to go as well for them. I tried to make a bet with Bottle that Tebow won't win a playoff game in the next 5 years but he turned me down. Tebow may be fun to watch and he will win some games, but make sure you don't get caught on the Tebow wagon. 

Hater J's Week 10 Picks

Giants (+3.5) The 49ers have a great pass rush that typically forces QBs to make bad mistakes or matador sacks leading to more yards to keep drives alive . The thing is, Eli typically gets the ball out quickly and had a ton of practice against New England. If the Giants go up, do you think Alex Smith is going to beat them? You couple that with the "Eli rule" and this is an easier pick.

Eli Rule: Eli plays well when he gets more than 3 and awful when he gives more than three.

Pats (+1.5) Tom Brady played awful. The Pats defense was horrendous in the second half. All that and the Giants still needed a 2 minute drill to beat them. Tom isn't making those mistakes again, and I don't see Sanchez matching him.

Steelers (-3) The Bengals are the home team but the Steelers travel really well and there should be some Terrible Towel sightings. The Steelers are also sore after a tough loss and look to beat up on the Ginger Kid, Andy Dalton.

Chiefs (-3) If Tebow wins in the Black Hole and in Arrowhead on consecutive weeks, I'll be at church next Sunday. The Chiefs aren't going to stand for back to back beatdowns at home.

Jags (-3) You come off a bye week and you get to play the Colts. The Jags should send the schedule makers a nice Christmas gift.

Bills (+6) So we're down on the Bills after losing to a good defensive team that needed a win and up on the Cowboys after beating a bad team that they let hang around? Take the points.

Bucs (+3) The Texans have taken advantage of bad teams in a big way. Going on the road against a team that gets up for home games is a bit different than playing the likes of the Browns. Take the points.

Panthers (-2.5) The most exciting player on the field isn't Chris Johnson and isn't a Titan. The Titans just look more flat every week since losing Britt and Chris Johnson (the latter suits up, but he'd be better off faking an injury and letting Runger take the carries). Cam rarely wins, but you have to think Tennessee will roll over and let Cam do what he does.

Dolphins (-4.5) - Matt Moore versus John Beck. The Dolphins throw screen passes well and play decent defense. The Redskins do just about nothing well.

Falcons (PK) The Saints are just bad on the road and the Falcons are a solid home team.

Lions (+3) Okay Lions, you want to be taken seriously? Start by winning on the road in November. The Bears are coming off of a big win, on the road, and had a short week to prepare for a Lions team fresh off of a bye. Fat Boy Suh should be able to hit Cutler a few times and I find it hard to see how the Bears will keep up with the Lions' speed on tired legs.

Rams (+3) The rams can run and the passing offense looks better since the addition of Brandon Lloyd. What do the Browns do well?

Cards (+13) The Eagles win this game, but I refuse to lay 13+ points with a team that can't close games well. This feels like a back door cover.

Seahawks (+7) I'm chalking up Flacco's performance to getting up for the Steelers. I think he goes back to bad Flacco this week and we see the Hawks' defense keeping them in the game.

Vikings (+13.5) The Packers are the best team in football. Aaron Rodgers is playing incredible football and as a result, the defense plays super aggressive football and as a result, gives up a lot of big plays. A few big plays from "All Day" and a deep play or two from Ponder should keep this game within two TD's.

Hater J's Week 9 Picks

Jets (+2) - I usually like to find reasons to pick against the Jets, but I can't find any reason (other than my hatred for Sanchez) to pick against them. They're off a bye week, play great defense, and have been running the ball well. The Bills can't stop the run, the Jets can shut down Jackson/Amish Rifle, and the Bills are due for a let down.

Giants (+9) - You were warned to avoid these Giants last week. Following the "play to the level of competition" theory, this is the week to jump back on the wagon. The Pats don't lose at home and they don't lose back to back. But with the point spread, what does that matter? This Giants team saw the Steelers throw a ton underneath and exploit that weak Pats secondary. The Giants have enough guys to do exactly that and keep this game inside of a touchdown.

Falcons (-7) - The Colts are playing hard, too bad effort is meaningless after kindergarten. The Falcons can use a win here to pick up some ground on the Saints and start their post bye week season on a good foot.

Bucs (+8.5) - Maybe the Saints are just awesome at home and suck everywhere else. Maybe they just don't fare well against certain teams that run up the gut. Or maybe just certain teams have their number. With all those maybes, I'll take the points.

Texans (-11) - The Browns are awful on offense. They are also playing another road game and their running game is a mess. I don't trust Colt McCoy to jump start this offense, and the Texans want to keep rolling. Lay the points.

Chiefs (-4.5) - This line should be higher. The Dolphins overachieved against an underachieving Giants team. The Chiefs are also on a short week after an emotional Monday night game, but they were home and are also home for this one. Arrowhead will swallow Matt Moore in a blow out.

49ers (-3.5) - This feels like a trap game. The 49ers going west to east, the Redskins just got blown out and come back home...typically a reason to take the points. I'm not doing it though. The 49ers are focused and well coached. They'll continue to win games they're supposed to.

Seahawks (+11.5) - I can't stand Tavaris and can't believe I'm picking the Seahawks. Tony Romo doesn't go up field, the Hawks have played good defense, and Sidney Rice is starting to get in rhythm. More than enough to take the double digit points.

Raiders (-8) - Tebow is horrific. Carson Palmer isn't off the hook here, but the running game behind him is legit. How many more atrocities do we have to see until the Tebow idiots just shut up?

Titans (-3) - The Bengals just had a nice road win. Winning on the road in back to back games may be too much to ask out of a rookie QB.

Cards (-2) - Kevin Kolb hasn't been much better than a back up. If he were playing, you'd give the 2 points, there is no reason why you shouldn't if Skelton is starting.

Packers (-5.5) - Phillip Rivers has thrown 4 more picks than TD's. The Packers look to expand that gap Sunday.

Steelers (-3) - The home team always wins this game. The Ravens' offense (Joe Flacco) stinks. The Steelers are playing well and remember week 1 very well.

Bears (+8) - The Eagles are the best in the NFC East now? Who knew that it only took whipping on a cruddy Cowboys team that dropped passes that hit them in the helmet for us to make that leap? I'm not buying...yet. The Bears run well and had an extra week to prepare for this offense. The Eagles don't stop the run and Vick will get hit. I'll take the points.

For Those Who Watch On Saturday: LSU +5, Nebraska -17.5, Stanford -21, Utah +3.5, Houston -27.5

Hater J's Week 8 Picks

Dolphins (+10) – Bye weeks are nice. For one week a season, Giants fans get reprieve from the disappointment associated with a loss to a team they should beat by two touchdowns, some bone head play (or non play) made by a super talented but super stupid wide out, or even an untimely INT from their polarizing QB. But now back to reality. The Giants are a good team with a lack of leadership. This is the type of game your head coach makes sure you're ready for and makes sure you win, especially with Rodgers and Brady coming up soon on the schedule. It's also the type of game the Giants choose to play to the level of competition and force fans to sweat out an ugly win. Take the points.

Titans (-8) – The fka Oilers got housed, at home, and are mighty pissed. The Colts are already taking Andrew Luck's measurements. This game can get really ugly, really quick.

Jags (+9.5) – The Texans are like the "Giants-South". A week after going on the road, dominating a division rival, and asserting themselves as the "team to beat in that division", is the perfect week for them to have a letdown. They get a lowly Jags team who secretly play good defense, play hard, and run the ball well. I'll take the points.

Vikings (+3.5) – Cam Newton gets stats and rarely wins. He's also starting to take a ton of hits now that teams are forcing him to run. The Vikings pass D is not great, but they'll double up Smith and give Jared Allen just enough time to introduce himself to Cam's ribs. The inaccurate Newton may ultimately get the win here, but I think he will make one mistake too many to win by more than a field goal.

Saints (-13) – The saints rarely cover on the road but they should be able to score 21+ points on the Rams. Does anyone trust the Rams and AJ Feely to score more than 7?

Cards (+12) – Joe Flacco sucks, a lot. The Cards are awful in the secondary, but if they avoid the pass interference offense that the Ravens employ, they should be able to hang around for a respectable loss.

Note> Flacco loves throwing the ball 50 yards up field hoping for a pass interference call. This usually comes after throwing 3-4 incomplete passes that look scarier than his eyebrows.

Redskins (+6) – Buffalo hates playing in Toronto (as they should). But they hate playing run defense. I don't like the Skins, but I hate laying 6 on a neutral field with a middle-of-the road team that plays bad run defense.

Lions (-3) – Unless Jesus Christ himself comes down from the stands and suits up in a Broncos uniform, I'm not picking them.

Steelers (+3) – Steelers have lost 5 of the last 6 against the Pats. You have to think the Steelers are due to win one at home, right?

49ers (-8.5) – Jim Harbaugh has his team focused. A home game, coming off a bye week, against the miserable Browns team should be a big win. Their head coach’s leadership makes this team the anti Giants.

Bengals (-3) – I don’t love this pick, but the bye was probably enough to get Andy Dalton ready for the noise at Seattle.

Cowboys (+3) – The Eagles can’t stop the run. Dallas just ran for over 250 yards. That’s enough for me to take the points

Chiefs (+3.5) – Can anyone explain how Norv Turner is in his 5th year as head coach of the Chargers? Marty Schottenheimer lead this team to a 14-2 record, lost to the Patriots in the AFC Championship game (when the Pats were still cheating and still winning those) and got fired. Norv can’t even get his team ready to run a decent 2 minute offense after a bye week. Screw you, Norv.

The College Run Down: Marshal -6, Clemson -3.5, Michigan St +4.5, Utah -5, Kansas St +13.6, Syracuse +3

M@d's 5 Observations About The First 5 Weeks

1. The NFL is a passing league as evidenced by the fact that there are currently 4 QB's who are on pace to break Dan Marino's single season record of 5084 yards. Three of those QB's are pictured above and if you care to know about the 4th just click this link.

2.Rushing attempts are way down, the current leaders in attempts is Adrian Peterson, he is on pace to average 22 carries a game and finish with 352 attempts, that will good for 54th all time in a season, he won't even break his personal attempts record of 363.

3. The two above current patterns in the NFL can not and should not continue. As the season progresses all teams will be hindered by the weather and other elements, and coaches should come to realize that they can't win shootouts with certain teams and will turn to their running games to protect leads and keep other teams off the field.

4. There are some crazy surprise teams out there but I'll start with Buffalo. When the season started they didn't make any flashy additions , but they actually found a way to get better with some subtractions, trading Lee Evans who for a long time had been an explosive player, but was always plagued by inconsistency. The toughest move for the Bills, though, was just outright cutting Aaron Maybin.Why was this such a tough move? The organization basically admitted that they made a mistake by drafting him with the 11th pick of the first round in 2009 (not every organization can and will do that) and it's that type of self reflection that has the Bills winning more games against opponents they normally would have lost to last season. The second biggest surprise for me is the Lions, every NFL analyst could have told you that they would be better but if any of them told you they would be 5-0, you would think they would have lost their mind. Their start is impressive but I'm looking forward to the rest of their season as they don't have a single cupcake finishing up their schedule. The 3rd and final surprise for me is the San Francisco 49ers. Not that they are tops in their division(Its the weakest division in my opinion), but the play of QB Alex Smith,who has been written off so many times and this season looks like he finally has figured it out. Smith is currently 3rd in QB passing rating.

5. The NFL seems to be the most fun it has been in years, with so many comebacks and talented players. I feel like for the first time in a long time the game is the focus, and not the mouth's of players with huge egos like Chad Ochocinco, Randy Moss, or Terrell Owens.

I feel this is going to be one of the best seasons in NFL history, and I hope you all enjoy the show.

Hater J's Week 4 Picks

After a 10 win week last Sunday, I am at 24-22-2 for the season. Here goes week 4:

Giants (-1.5) – Pick this game with extreme caution. The Giants are on a high after beating up on the “Dream Team”. Eli is looking to build on the rhythm he’s set into over the past 6 quarters of football. The Cards’ pass “D” is still quite suspect which should make for a good game through the air for the G-Men. The problem is…this is the exact type of game the Giants lose.

Ravens (-3.5) – I see this Jets bandwagon thinning out after the superior Ravens bust them up for their second straight road loss. The Jets are not an elite football team. The Ravens are.

Lions (1.5) – The Cowboys didn’t score a touchdown on Monday and looked completely lost on offense without Miles Austin. Tony Romo needed to take two shots to numb his ribs and a short week translates into less time to heal. On the flip side, the Lions showed some chops with a come from behind win a mean pass rush, and a tremendous pass offense. “Fat Boy” Suh is going to punish Romo and Megatron should have no problems exploiting this bad pass “D”.

Saints (-7) – I usually hate giving seven points, on the road, with a bad defense. These games tend to end up with the crap home team scoring a garbage time touchdown and destroying your cover, or the crap home team hanging around and keeping it close for no known reason. However, the Jags have a miserable pass offense and they have a miserable pass defense...I’m laying the seven.

49ers (+9) – According to Kenny Powers, “Patrick Willis runs like a cheetah and hits like a super pissed rhino.” His teammates have fallen in line, punishing QB’s all season. After busting up Tony Romo’s ribs, they get a shot at the crash test dummy known as Mike Vick. I can see ESPN and Berman having a segment going with a segment called Vick’s Picks after Willis scares Mike into a few more errant passes and into some more pain.

Rams (+1) –The Rams get another game at home after last week’s super awful home loss. The Redskins are coming off a short week in a game they lost without allowing a touchdown. If the Rams have any pride, they need to step up here. Look for Steven Jackson to run angry.

Titans (+1) – The Browns get a one point win at home against a bad Miami team and get to be a one point favorite against a better Titans team? I’m not buying it. Titans’ Chris Johnson is still looking for a break out game. Nate Washington is no Kenny Britt, but he’s formidable. The Titans win this one.

Bills (-3) – I hear that Benson and the Bengals are going to run to keep the ball out of Fitzpatrick’s hands. So after a bunch of third and longs followed by punts, the Bills will get the ball to light them up. Let’s go Bills.

Vikings (-1.5) – Leslie Frazier says he wants to get AP more totes. Literally translated, “Shit, I‘ve had big second half leads, I have the best running back in football, but kept passing and have no wins.” A heavy dose of AP = bad times for the awful Chiefs.

Panthers (+6.5) – Panthers will give the Bears a taste of their own medicine with “The Daily Show” and Cam doing their “Cutler to Forte” dink and dunk impersonation all the way to a cover…maybe even a win.

Steelers (+4) – The Texans still can’t close games and the Steelers step up after disappointing performances. Four points is too much to lay on a team that can’t stop hurting themselves.

Falcons (-4.5) – Tavaris Jackson, I hate you. He had no business winning that game last week. The Falcons play terribly everywhere but Georgia, but my hatred for Tavaris will not allow me to pick him. Stay away from this game.

Dolphins (-7.5) – I should have known better than to pick a Norv Turner team in September. Mike Thomas can actually give this Chargers team a few headaches. If he doesn’t, I can totally see the Chargers scoring a bundle and then going into cruise control and allowing the Dolphins back in for a cover.

Broncos (+13.5) – The Packers are the best team in football, but their secondary hasn’t looked very championship-like. Much like their game against Carolina, I see the Packers’ secondary allowing a ton of yards and a few TD’s in a game that a Packers’ win is never in doubt.

Raiders (+4.5) – Can the Pats stop anyone? I don’t think so. I’ll take the home team, getting points, and hope that Run DMC breaks a few to keep it close.

Bucs (-10)/Colts – Josh Freeman vs. Curtis Painter. I see a heavy dose of LeGarrett Blount paired with great game management from Josh Freeman in what will be an easy win for the Bucs.

Hater J's NFL Week 2 Picks

Last week was helped by a solid Monday night. Let’s try to make this week better. Here go the picks…

Bears (+6.5) At some point, I have to admit that the Bears are a good defensive squad. I also have to come to terms with the fact that Matt Forte will catch 6+ passes for 75+ yards the first few weeks of the season and (don’t worry fantasy nerds, his numbers will drop and you’ll feel better about passing on him). A good team coming back home after a road loss rarely loses. I don’t think the Saints start 0-2 but I think the Bears’ “D” keeps them in this one.

Houston (-4) Miami just stinks at home and Houston needs to take advantage of another weak team before heading out to New Orleans.

Lions (-9) Matt Stafford limping on/off the field after every possession with a healthy Jahvid Best and a healthy Megatron is better than PTU favorite Ryan Fitzpatrick and his crew right? The Lions beat a good Bucs team on the road in muggy September. The Chiefs just suffered their worst home loss in about 20 years. I’m sipping the Kool-Aid for one more week. Go Lions.

Jags (+9) The Jags can’t play pass defense. Good thing for them, Mark Sanchez and the Jets can’t play pass offense. I can’t see the Jags winning this game by any stretch, but I can’t see the Jets and Sanchez blowing them out of the water. Jets fans, please don’t talk to me about Sanchez throwing for 300+ yards. You all know he sucked and just managed to make just enough plays down the stretch to win that game.

Bills (-3.5) The Amish Rifle is coming back home to play a team that is on a short week (Late Monday Night Game) and traveling three time zones. The Raiders will be hitting the “Snooze” button at kickoff.

Skins (-4) Cam Newton is bad and the Cards’ secondary is worse right? I have to believe that. Rex Grossman is serviceable. I expect him to have a big day at home against a bad Cards team.

Titans (+6) This has let down game written all over it. After playing lights out in a high energy/high emotion game, the Ravens go on the road to face a team that needs a win at home to keep pace with M@D’s expectations. I think the Titans’ offense will be better and expect Baltimore to be flat. Baltimore should still win, but the Titans can hang with them for a day.

Steelers (-14) A ridiculously high amount of points, and I’m still laying them. The Steelers need to make a statement after that embarrassment in Baltimore. Tavaris Jackson, you will not fool me again. The two people who read this, please don’t let me forget I said that.

Packers (-10) A week and a half of rest for Mr. Rodgers is just perfect for a huge day on the Cats. The Packers contain Cam and Bottle and Bagels can expect a ton of beer inspired messages bashing their new hero.

Vikings (-3) This game is a toss-up. I’m taking the more talented AP and the home field advantage in a game that may be a push.

Colts (+2.5) Two bad teams match up in what should be terrible. The home team is getting points, so I’ll take them. The NFL should issue apologies to whoever gets stuck with this as their regional game.

Pats (-7) The Pats love to run up scores, especially at home. The Chargers hate the East Coast and don’t start to play until late October. You have to take the Homeless Wizard and his Uggs sporting QB.

Broncos (-4) The Broncos can’t lose two straight at home. I also refuse to be suckered into picking the Bengals for anything.

Falcons (+2.5) The Falcons looked bad on the road, but the Bears may just be good at home. The Eagles looked good on the road, but that may be just because the NFC West is that bad. One big play on defense or offense will have the Atlanta crowd going nuts. I’m not sure Vick is ready for some playoff-type hostility.

Giants (-5.5) The Rams are banged up and were just outclassed by the Eagles after the first 4 minutes of the game. If the Giants are going to give me any hope of winning a bet with Snooty, they need to beat up an already beat up team in “The Swamp”.

Team Cam vs. The Rest of PTU

Much like the ongoing bet concerning PTU hero Kemba Walker that Hater J and I have, there's a new hero that has been embraced by the masses and inspired a friendly (not really) wager here at PTU. American treasure Cam Newton burst onto the scene last week, all but sealing his ticket to Canton with a stunning performance that came as no surprise to Bottle and I (team cam president and vice president) but still hasn't quite convinced the haters i.e. Hater J, M@d $cientist and Mr. D. of his greatness. So, the bet is as follows: If Cam matches Peyton Manning's single season total of 3739 yards, Bottle and I will write a personal blog post apology to the rest of the crew, as well as admitting that Cam is not the hero we thought he was and I will buy M@d the hero sandwich of his choice from his favorite sammich shop. If Cam inevitably gets to 3739 (which he'll probably do by week 8 or so by my estimation) then the haters will blog about how wrong they were for ever doubting C.N. and M@d will be photographed in his number 1 jersey alongside the caption "Cam is great and better than Peyton Manning". Stay tuned to see how this turns out.

Hats Off! Cowboys Fans Are The Worst People In the World

PTU's very own expert on all things snooty was at the wild Jets season opener Sunday. The game had it all: 4th quarter comebacks from double digit deficits, crazy game changing blocked punts returned for touchdowns, celebrities galore (the Jets are clearly the hot team in NY now for front running celebrities), Usher and if that's not enough, this was the 9/11 memorial game so there was even more importance placed on the contest than usual. Everyone was feeling pretty patriotic Sunday, except for one dickhead in a Cowboys jersey (and I don't mean Tony Romo).

By now, you may have seen the video of the brawl that took place in the stands on Sunday, and at first glance it seems like an ordinary Jets game. Liquored up civil service workers stomping each other after 12 hours of downing Coors lights and Jack Daniels in the parking lot. Ho hum. But, as more details emerged, we've all come to realize that there was much more to the story. For starters, that was a Jets fan getting the worst of the fracas from a 'Boys fan, and it's not a fist or even a bottle that's doing the most damage, it's a taser! (the fact that some asshole could easily slip a stun gun into the game on the most high security day of the year has caused a bit of controversy). And that's not just any old Jets fan from Massapequa getting tased, bro. It's a U.S. marine. It turns out, the fight was started over a matter of patriotism (or lack thereof). The un patriotic Cowboys fan refused to remove his hat or even stand for the Star Spangled banner, an offense that I've seen spark fights in mid April Yankee games, never mind the anniversary of the worst day in American history. The plot thickens (or gets stupider) as we now learn that the guy in question is the father of New York radio personality and Wendy Williams lackey Charlamagne tha God (that's really his name). C the G explains that his pops is a Jehovah's witness and therefore doesn't acknowledge our national anthem. I know they don't celebrate birthdays or Christmas and Michael Jackson grew up as one so they're definitely weird, but I didn't know about the Abdul Rauf aspect of the religion. Either way, no matter his religious affiliation, we do know of one allegiance that is proof that he's an idiot with no moral values: he's a Cowboys fan.

I'm sure there's a couple nice Cowboys fans out there, maybe someone who was born in Dallas that isn't an unbearable loudmouth, but for the most part, Cowboys fans are assholes. You've seen the guys that pack your local NEW YORK CITY bar to root for their boys. Depending on their age, they chose the blue and silver during their 90's dynasty or latched on to them during one of their other winning years, but regardless of when they chose to align themselves with the devil (Jerry Jones), the fact is they are terrible people. We shouldn't be surprised at the behavior of this guy at the game on Sunday. He was simply fulfilling his destiny as a member of the worst people in the world. How 'bout them Cowboys?