Timsanity: Tebow Comes To New York

Even if it's only the Jets, Tim Tebow will still be awkwardly annoying and inspiring people in New York next season (or at least New Jersey). If you thought he got a lot of hype when he played in Denver, you ain't seen nothing yet. I suppose it's a good move, at least for PR purposes, but it's not like the Jets suffer in the ticket sales department. As far as football wise, it seems a little odd seeing as how the Jets recently proclaimed Mark Sanchez as their guy for the future, and as recently as this morning certain Jets players with lots of illegitimate kids expressed their displeasure with a possible Tebow trade. With Sparano running things though, we can expect to see that Dolphin style Wildcat offense, something the Jets ran a lot when Brad Smith was in green.

However it turns out for NY's other football team on the field, it's a big splashy story that will draw a ton of attention beginning today until the Jets inevitably are knocked out of the playoff race. Will Tebow take offense to Rex Ryan's salty language? Will he tell Santonio Holmes to leave the clubs and liquor alone? Will Hater J give up watching football? Linsanity will look like the local buzz over a cable access show compared to the type of rapturous hype that we'll see if Tebow does anything positive for the Jets. If anything, this now makes the Jets must see tv for a little while, a season after watching the Giants once again prove their domination of the NY football landscape, as well as ensures many pissed off and annoyed e-mails from Hater J. And to think, all these years I thought God hated the Jets.

Jets Vs. Giants Preview

The Jets and Giants are facing off this Christmas Eve and this time it means something. No, seriously, it really means something this time. This is the first time that the rivals are facing each other with the playoffs on the line for either squad since the LT days, and it's the first time I can remember a Giants Jets game ever having this much importance to both teams. For the Giants, this is practically a playoff game, and for the Jets it's not a must win but it's still huge for their playoff hopes. Over the past couple weeks the trash talk has been flying back and forth and it's shaping up to be a good one. Unfortunately, some of the luster has been lost due to the way both teams shit the bed last week but I expect both teams to play much better tomorrow or at least match each other's ineptitudes.

As the awesome cover above illustrates, New York has always been a Giants town. But there's been a slight shift in the past few years as a younger, dumber generation has been quicker to embrace the brash, cocky Rex Ryan image of the Jets over the stodgy, old Giants. Even though the G-men won a Super Bowl just 5 years ago, New Yorkers have short memories and, to be honest, the Giants have sucked over the past few seasons. Starting up great only to fold in the second half has been their M.O. and is beginning to make their amazing run in 07 look like a fluke. They can make the fair weather (and die hard) Jets fan shut the hell up with a big performance tomorrow.

Some thoughts from Hater J and I:

• The Giants secondary has been consistently terrible all season but that shouldn't matter in this game since Nacho can't throw a pass to save his life. He's only effective out of the play action and the Giants D-Line should rush him into a mistake or knock his ass on the ground.


• -Hakeem Nicks may be trapped on Revis island all day . That means the battle of the talented retards should be on display. Cromartie isn't all that great and Cruz may burn him. Expect some salsa dancing.


• Stop calling it Met Life Stadium. It's Giants Stadium, damn it.


• Rex Ryan is quickly becoming the most annoying person in spo...scratch that in the universe.


• The shit talk between the two teams is refreshing in a sports world where most intra city rivals act all respectful towards each other. The Yankees and Mets never have a bad word to say about each other, even though their fans detest one another. It's all so boring, and you know behind closed doors David Wright wants to knock Derek Jeter's teeth out with a Louisville Slugger .


• In a close game- Do you really trust Nick Folk? Didn't think so.

My pick- Giants 24 Jets 17.

Merry Christmas and enjoy the game, everyone!

Hats Off! Cowboys Fans Are The Worst People In the World

PTU's very own expert on all things snooty was at the wild Jets season opener Sunday. The game had it all: 4th quarter comebacks from double digit deficits, crazy game changing blocked punts returned for touchdowns, celebrities galore (the Jets are clearly the hot team in NY now for front running celebrities), Usher and if that's not enough, this was the 9/11 memorial game so there was even more importance placed on the contest than usual. Everyone was feeling pretty patriotic Sunday, except for one dickhead in a Cowboys jersey (and I don't mean Tony Romo).

By now, you may have seen the video of the brawl that took place in the stands on Sunday, and at first glance it seems like an ordinary Jets game. Liquored up civil service workers stomping each other after 12 hours of downing Coors lights and Jack Daniels in the parking lot. Ho hum. But, as more details emerged, we've all come to realize that there was much more to the story. For starters, that was a Jets fan getting the worst of the fracas from a 'Boys fan, and it's not a fist or even a bottle that's doing the most damage, it's a taser! (the fact that some asshole could easily slip a stun gun into the game on the most high security day of the year has caused a bit of controversy). And that's not just any old Jets fan from Massapequa getting tased, bro. It's a U.S. marine. It turns out, the fight was started over a matter of patriotism (or lack thereof). The un patriotic Cowboys fan refused to remove his hat or even stand for the Star Spangled banner, an offense that I've seen spark fights in mid April Yankee games, never mind the anniversary of the worst day in American history. The plot thickens (or gets stupider) as we now learn that the guy in question is the father of New York radio personality and Wendy Williams lackey Charlamagne tha God (that's really his name). C the G explains that his pops is a Jehovah's witness and therefore doesn't acknowledge our national anthem. I know they don't celebrate birthdays or Christmas and Michael Jackson grew up as one so they're definitely weird, but I didn't know about the Abdul Rauf aspect of the religion. Either way, no matter his religious affiliation, we do know of one allegiance that is proof that he's an idiot with no moral values: he's a Cowboys fan.

I'm sure there's a couple nice Cowboys fans out there, maybe someone who was born in Dallas that isn't an unbearable loudmouth, but for the most part, Cowboys fans are assholes. You've seen the guys that pack your local NEW YORK CITY bar to root for their boys. Depending on their age, they chose the blue and silver during their 90's dynasty or latched on to them during one of their other winning years, but regardless of when they chose to align themselves with the devil (Jerry Jones), the fact is they are terrible people. We shouldn't be surprised at the behavior of this guy at the game on Sunday. He was simply fulfilling his destiny as a member of the worst people in the world. How 'bout them Cowboys?

Mark Sanchez Is As Good As Joe Namath

If you ask any Jets fan about Mark Sanchez, you are bound to hear praise. Comments ranging from how awesome he’s been in the clutch to how he’s the best quarter back in New York. Some of them even go as far as saying that although it is early in his career, he may be as great as Joseph William Namath.

Well Jets fans, you’ve all got one thing right. In his early career, Sanchez is very similar to his older Jets counterpart. Aside from loving booze and ladies (try and Google “Namath & Susie Kolber" followed by “Marc Sanchez freshman arrest”), both Sanchez and Joe Willy have a skill possessed by few athletes. They own the ability to distract everyone from the important stuff like a poor passer rating, completion percentage, yards per game, or even TD’s. Instead of focusing on those things, they force you to look at team results, earned by talented players, whose hard work got the team a win but barely got them the post game interview love they deserved. While his defense is licking its wounds from a hard hitting game, his running backs are icing knees that had to fight 8 men fronts all day, and his receivers are getting massages for the hits they took outreaching for yet another overthrown ball, Sanchez is front and center for the interview. Could you imagine a world where Trent Dilfer got some love for actually winning the Super Bowl and that Ravens “D” was a secondary story?

If you speak ill of their beloved “Nacho” (thank you Bart Scott and HBO’s Hard Knocks) Jets fans will quickly go into a defensive mind set. They will tell you that he is still young and has the most post season wins of any Jets QB in history. They will not tell you that prior to last year, that record stood at two wins with Joe Namath, Richard Todd and Chad Pennington owning that distinction. They will omit that those playoff wins should be attributed to a great defensive scheme and excellent execution and their failure to make it to a Super Bowl falls squarely on the shoulders of their lack of a consistent offensive game (Sanchez does show flashes of good play, but flashes aren’t beating the Steelers in December).

They will also omit that he was 29th in completion percentage, 27th in QB rating, 25th in yards per game, and 19th in TD passes. You should be careful of mentioning these stats around Jets fans, as they may tell you that “their” Jets are a run first team. These fans would be shocked to know that of all QB’s in football, Sanchez was 9th in attempts, which is more than Flacco, Brady, and Josh Freeman (who is a personal favorite of Snoot and mine, mostly for his awkward fro).
These are all similar positions Jets fans take with regards to the team’s Godfather. After guaranteeing a win in Super Bowl III, Joe Namath threw for exactly zero touchdowns and did not throw a single pass in the 4th Quarter. Despite all of that, Namath still won the Super Bowl MVP (the only guy to do so without throwing a TD) and is heralded by Jets fans as the savior of the AFC. All poor Matt Snell did was carry the ball 30 times for a 121 yards and a TD. Jet fans will also defend their hero’s status as a hall of famer despite his QB rating being lower than all HOF’ers aside from Bobby Layne, Bob Waterfield, George Blanda (a man who had diabetes and lost some toes), and Jim Finks. All of those guys had their first start between 1945 and 1949…not a very pass friendly league in those days. They will also ignore his losing record as a starter and the fact that he threw more picks than he did touchdowns.

I’ve tried having a discussion with Jets fans about Namath and Sanchez for a while. It usually just gets me frustrated. I’ve learned that the next time a Jets fan says something about Sanchez, it’s better to just tell them, “Bro, he’s as good as Joe Namath.”