The Greatest Perp Shoes of All Time

Almost everything is debatable when it comes to rankings. Who's the best baseball team of all time? What's the best restaurant in New York? Greatest movie of all time? Only two things are absolutely number one on everyone's list, regardless of age, race or occupation. One is the undisputed greatest sneaker of all time. Ask any sneaker head worth a damn and they'll tell you it's the Black and Elephant print Jordan 3's, which were rereleased this past Black Friday to ridiculously long lines and immediately sold out everywhere from Foot Locker to Nike Town to wherever else perp shoes are sold. What makes these Jordans so great? I mean, look at them. They are certainly striking upon first glance, and would be so even if they came out tomorrow. Now picture being a sneaker consumer in 1988. MJ was still 3 years away from winning a championship and in some circles had a reputation similar to LeBron James (who was around 4 when these came out), that is a high scoring athletic beast who had yet to prove himself as a leader on the court who could lead his team to a title. Most sneakers at the time ran the gamut from boring to plain. Look at the Jordan 2s and how simple they were. Then BAM. Elephant print! On a sneaker. Along with the red accents to match the Bulls colors and the grey tongue, these sneakers were like nothing anyone had ever seen before. The first design from famed Nike and Jordan designer Tinker Hatfield (with a name like that could that guy do anything besides design Air Jordans?), the Jordan 3s were risky but so fresh looking,For the next 20 years they would be worn by everyone from the Fresh Prince to Basquiat, from Bushwick hipsters to Brownsville crack dealers, these may be the sleekest looking sneakers ever invented. They were released at the time in 3 different color ways and have since been rereleased in all types of funky color combos, but the black and elephant remains the gold standard.

The second thing that everyone can agree on is best flavor potato chip.It's barbecue.

Johnny Bagel's Perp Shoes of the Week: Huarache Edition

If you grew up in the 90s or you just saw ESPN's documentary earlier this year, you know that Michigan's Fab 5 were a cultural phenomenon. Four freshman that were young, brash and extremely influential on on and off court style from their baggy shorts to their sneakers. Those sneakers were (for the most part) classic Nikes, none more classic than the Huaraches.

The Huaraches have been modified throughout the years and have been rereleased in several different incarnations, most recently the Huarache 2k4's (of which I own a couple pairs). As is the case with most sneakers, or really anything that is recreated, the original is the best. They don't really look like any other basketball sneakers, and maybe that's what made them so cool. While most of the basketball world rocked Jordans or some generic Flights or Delta Forces back then, Webber and his boys wore a sneaker that looks like it should be worn just walking around town or maybe skateboarding, not leading a swaggering basketball revolution. Without a doubt, one of my favorite perp shoes of all time worn by some of my favorite players of my youth.

Perp Shoe Of The Week: Rodman Edition

I've been doing these perp shoe posts since practically the inception of PTU, and as everyone has ignored them and/or skyrocketed them to the top of the popular posts charts to see the pretty sneaker pictures, you've probably noticed or haven't noticed the wide array of athletes who endorsed them once upon a time. From quiet superstar running backs (who may have retired early depending on who you ask) to loudmouth rebounding power forwards turned loudmouth analysts to the greatest basketball player to ever lace up a pair of perp shoes, one thing has been proven: A player mustn't be an actual perp (or possess perpish tendencies) in order to be a spokesman for a truly great perp shoe. (And while we're at it, let me just say that the term "perp shoe" is a reference to a perp hating police officer friend of PTU who thinks of all sneakers as such, and does not reflect the opinions or ideals of Johnny Bagels and most of the PTU writers). Grant Hill was about as square as a pizza box, but his kicks were worn by rappers and every public schooler in the tri-state for a couple years there. And, this week's entry is yet another case in point of the personality of the spokesman not really having an impact on the consumer.

Dennis Rodman did lots of good things on the court, like that tip to himself rebound technique, and a truly uncanny knack for being in the right place at the right time (both in terms of rebounding and defensive position as well as what truly great teams he played for). It's debatable whether or not his teams were dynasties or championship caliber squads because of him or if he was just lucky to be around all time-great teammates, but what's not debatable is that the guy was a freaking weirdo. Sure, he did it all for attention and to get recognized (let's face it, offensively challenged forwards who specialize in defense and rebounding need a hook like crazy hair or dressing in drag or they'll end up just being Serg Ibaka) and he probably wasn't really a John Ameche since he got all types of trim from famous sluts but whatever; to paraphrase Biggie, weird niggas do weird things. From dying his hair every color in the rainbow to wearing a wedding dress at a book signing, to using whatever borderline homo erotic tactics he could to psych out his opponents (I imagine he would whisper something to the cowboy boots wearing Karl Malone about riding him like a horse or something), the Worm is the antithesis of what's really good in the streets. Nobody was dying their hair magenta and putting in a big hoop nose ring (even 2pac couldn't make nose rings thuggish) or wearing dresses or whatever, but Rodman's shoes were still classics that got a good amount of burn at the local urban Foot Locker.

The Air Darwins were not quite as wacky as the later Rodman sneakers, but the backwards check is a sign of things to come. A truly original looking sneaker at the time, the couple guys who I knew that were Darwin fans usually bought them in every color and had multiple pairs of the same color. An underrated sneaker for sure.


The Darwins were nice and all, but they were nothing compared to the Air Worms. A truly revolutionary sneaker in the same way that Babe Ruth revolutionized baseball for white people. The first shoe to hide the laces on the side (and one of the last)the design of this shoe was out there but still looked sleek. Paired up with black socks (like the championship Bulls team did in the playoffs) these were some fresh looking perp shoes, no matter how fruity the guy wearing them was.

After that, Rodman's sneakers followed the same trajectory as his career. His next pair with Nike were a true kick in the groin, and let's not talk about Dennis's wrestling career, failed comebacks with the Mavs and Lakers or his disgusting Converse sneakers. And that's the legacy of hall of famer Dennis Rodman: a goofy androgynous freak who had a couple pairs of great perp shoes and could rebound the ball like a maniac.

Lamest Sneakers Of All Time: Reebok Shaq Kamikazes

Shaquille O'Neal was as dominant and influential an athlete that the NBA has ever seen and was more than worthy of all the accolades and praise he received since his recent retirement announcement. But while Shaq Diesel (seen above dunking on PTU hero and jean short enthusiast Derrick Coleman) dipped his size 22 toes into non-basketball related endeavors such as music and movies with mixed results, one world that the Big Marketer couldn't conquer was the sneaker world. Despite being perhaps the second most famous basketball player of all time (and arguably the most physically recognizable), Shaq never had a truly popular sneaker.

Most of the designs of Shaq kicks ranged from boring and clunky looking to just plain disgusting. These Reeboks (one of the last pairs that he wore before jumping ship to form his own brand of unwearable footwear) most definitely fall into the latter category. I mean, look at these abominations, but not for too long since they literally will make you sick. Who was in the Reebok offices in the mid-90s that thought the best way to compete with the dominance of the sleek and cool looking late 90s Nikes worn by Barkley and Jordan would be to produce a pair of sneakers that will literally make you dizzy if you stare at them for more than 5 seconds? I guess the idea was they needed to have a pattern that could match the maverick, outside the box thinker that Shaq was (and I guess he kind of was compared to most boring pro athletes), and I'm all for different and unique designs on sneakers but this is ridiculous. They look like the signs that doofus fans seated behind the backboard would hold up when players were shooting free throws so maybe it was an inside joke poking fun at Shaq's notorious foul shooting troubles. Whatever the thinking behind these truly horrible, vertigo inducing sneakers, the Kamikazes belong in the PTU Lamest Sneakers Of All Time closet next to the Catapults, never to be worn or thought about again.

Get your pair

The Return of The Perp Shoe: Barkley Edition

Charles Barkley's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he is opinionated, and that's enough to make any former athlete a superstar in the usually bland commentator world. Chuck was once a dominating force in the paint though, and his sneakers were probably the second most popular basketball shoes to Jordans in the 90s. (although Penny Hardaway may take exception to that from wherever he is now). Before he was everyone's favorite goof ball tv analyst and said things were "turrible", Sir Charles was one bad man who, when not tossing fans through windows or mistakenly spitting on little girls, had two of the more memorable Nike ad campaigns: Godzilla vs. Barkley and the iconic "I'm not a role model" commercials.

Perp Shoe of The Week (Jordan Edition)

I've been putting off posting Jordans as a perp shoe since I think it's well known that they're the perpiest of shoes ever created and I've tried to focus on slightly more obscure sneakers. Plus, I gave up on buying Jordans once they started to rerelease slightly altered versions just about every week. (Pink snakeskin?). Not to mention that sometime around my late teens and early 20's I decided I didn't want to be wearing the same sneakers as someone's 45 year old mother or baby. There was a time when I did actually stand on line in front of a Foot Locker like an old woman in the former Soviet Union waiting for bread (if you see a line of Puerto Ricans on 34th street either there's a Jordan release at Foot Action or an Aventura concert at the Garden). These Jordan 11's were not the first pair I stood on line like a jackass for, but they are without a doubt my favorites.

When Michael first broke out the white and black patent leather joints during the 96 playoff run (his first championship run post retirement), people were confused. What are those spats he's wearing? No one had ever seen patent leather used on a sneaker (now it's used on almost every Nike release). The fact that he was fined by the league for not wearing totally black playoff sneakers like the rest of the Bulls only added to the lore. They would eventually hit the market in the 3 standard (and only real) Jordan colors; White and black, White and Carolina blue, and (my favorite sneaker of all time) Chicago black and red. Sometime later, the "Space Jams" hit bootleg stores at the Fulton Street mall and other shady establishments (they have recently been released legitimately to eager Puerto Ricans on 34th street).

Perp Shoes of the Week

The last two perp shoe entry endorsers (Grant Hill and Barry Sanders) proved that you needn't be an actual perp to inspire a classic perp sneaker. This week's perp shoe is another example, the Diamond Furies and the Ken Griffey Jr. Air Max that were worn by none other than Ken Griffey Jr.Although many of his best moments came against the Yanks, Jr.'s still one of my all time favorite players. Blessed with the smoothest swing I've ever seen in person, Griffey was the total package during his years with Seattle and his sneakers were also phenomenal. The Griffey air maxes have somehow become the most popular perp shoes in all of New York city over the past couple of years. Ride the 4 train for a half hour and I guarantee you will see at least 2 kids with some version of them. Maybe the only nike reissue that looks almost as good as the original (these black and red Cinncinati versions).

Johnny Bagel's Perp Shoes of the Week

Sneakers endorsed by football players were never as popular with the perps as those worn by basketball players, with a few exceptions. Deion, Bo Jackson (who both played baseball as well) and of course, Barry Sanders. Even though he retired early and was one of the quieter dudes in the NFL, Barry had some of the nicest Zooms in the Nike collection. It also helped that the Lions played on turf, meaning he could rock basketball sneakers instead of cleats if he wanted (as seen in the above pic of Barry sporting the inaugural Perp shoes). These have since been re released (of course).



This is also a good moment to post these wacky Nike ads starring the late Dennis Hopper being all Dennis Hopperish.

Johnny Bagel's Perp Shoes of the Week

That's right, Fila wasn't always exclusively worn by fat old guidos. During the mid 90's they attempted to infiltrate the sneaker market with a couple of NBA players. Jerry Stackhouse and Grant Hill were the first to rock them, but only Grant's really took off, as perps everywhere wanted to wear the same shoes as one of the smoothest young players. Grant would eventually have a string of debilitating injuries but for a couple years with the Pistons he was as athletic as anyone, and also had one of the sickest crossovers. There was a time when you couldn't turn on the tv without seeing him in a commercial for something. I was always a Nike person, but these 2 Filas were indeed a perp favorite.

Perp Shoe of the Week

This week's perp shoe selection are the Nike Air More Uptempo's. These definitely stood out weather you were in gym class or running the court winning your 4th championship like Scottie.

While I complimented the simplicity of the Foamposite's last week for their lack of swoosh, these sneakers went the opposite direction, letting you know that the Nike AIR brand was not to be messed with. The olympics versions that Pippen rocked when he played for Dream Team 2 at the 96 games were my favorite. (Thanks to Sole Collector for the pics)

Perp Shoe of the Week

I couldn't decide which Pennies to focus on for this week's Perp shoe so I said "screw it" and decided to dedicate this installment to the man's entire collection. Most kids who wear the rereleased versions that Nike regurgitates every couple months probably are confused as to why a guy who only played 4 or 5 really great seasons in the league and was last seen limping around with Marbury's Knicks would deserve such awesome kicks. Well, truth is in those first few seasons with Orlando before the devastating injuries Anfernee was one bad man. A 6'7'' point guard who could pass, score and jump, Penny was the coolest dude on the court for a few years in the late 90s and was well deserving of some of the greatest sneakers Nike ever produced.


I like all of these but special attention should be paid to the blue foamposites, one of the first non-Jordan Nikes I can remember that didn't have a prominent swoosh. They've since been rereleased in a corny swoosh version.

Perp Shoe of the week redux

Perp shoe double whammy this week! The Nike Air Diamond Turf Max (named for Primetime's dual sports career) were probably the craziest looking sneakers to ever come out at that point, and they have only a few challengers since. These were available in black and white as well as Cowboys colors and Red. Perfect to high step your way past the po-pos.

Perp shoes of the week; All Star edition

In honor of the upcoming NBA All-star weekend this week's perp shoes are the Reebok Pumps. Probably the best example of dunk contest cross-promotion ever. Dee Brown had young perps everywhere pumping their sneakers so they could throw one down just like the little Celtics point guard. Of course all the pump did was tighten the shoe around your ankles a little but it still looked cool.

Johnny Bagel's PERP SHOES circa 1999

Johnny Bagel's perp shoes circa 1999. The pic is a little blurry... white Air Force 1's?