People Who Think People Who Blame A-Rod are Idiots are Idiots

What I'm trying to say in that convoluted title up there is that the contrarian position is not always the right one. Despite what this article and other blogs and experts are saying today to prove their intelligence over the drooling masses Last night, A-rod by all definitions sucked. Whether this was due to nagging effects from his multitude of injuries this season (read: after effects of steroids use) or just his usual postseason suckiness, the fact remains that Alex Rodriguez shit the bed this ALDS. Much like he did in 05, 06, 07 and every season besides the 09 run when I'm convinced that either A-Rod was hypnotized by Kate Hudson's magical vagina or he upped his steroids dosage. Yes, Girardi's overmanaging style was again partly to blame and there was a whole list of other players who were awful this series, but a great deal of the blame falls on A-Rod's broad, useless shoulders. That might be unfair to judge him because of his contract and celebrity status, but there's a reason he garners all that attention and money: he's a supremely talented player who's put up monstrous career numbers. We expect great things out of him in the playoffs and the guy just hasn't produced in the big spots outside of that one season. Break down all the sabermetrics you want, debate the existence of "clutch", however you look at it he's failed in big moments. I nicknamed him "smoke break" a couple years ago because once he came up to bat you knew that you weren't going to miss anything if you stepped out for a Newport. Obviously baseball is a team sport and more than any other sport the final score relies on factors that an individual can't control like pitching and defense that one player can't overcome. I understand that, Joe Posnanski. But if we give out MVP awards (of which A-Rod's won a couple) based partly on team success, then the individual should also take some heat when the team is unsuccessful.

Yankees' playoff series always seem to end with A-Rod striking out, and this is because they actually do end that way more often than not. Sportscenter ran a graphic about all of the past playoff series that have ended with Rodriguez at the plate. Last night was no different as he struck out swinging in every big moment last night and the one time he was on base he failed to score despite what looked like a deep enough base hit to drive in a run (Rob Thomson held him up there and he seemed to be laboring a little while running so he gets a pass I suppose). But this doesn't excuse the rest of the series when he got precisely zero hits besides one when the game was already out of reach on Tuesday. Even the Tigers were cracking jokes.

So obviously the entire team is to blame (not to mention there is another team that is playing, wants to win and doesn't know that we have to win the World Series every year). I understand an article or blog post that says "A Rod sucks" isn't all that interesting and But, let us vent some frustration on the most famous player on the team and the one who we have signed for an astronomical price for the next 6 years of our lives. He was not good. In fact, he sucked. And I don't feel like an idiot for saying that.

What's The Definition of Crazy?

You may remember this joker from last October. Grim LeRogue, the fanatical Cameron Diaz stalker who supposedly had a deathwish for A-Rod and ran on the field during game 3 of the ALCS at Yankee Stadium. At the time, it was a slight distraction from the Yankees unravelling playoff hopes, but when you really think about it, this was an awesome story. Not only did this guy legally change his name from (yawn) John Rogan, (who sounds like a 1960s soap opera actor) to Grim LeRogue, (who sounds like an idiot), but he apparently had pics of A-Rod with his face crossed out and other wacky things that would make you think that this guy was your textbook nutjob. Except a Bronx Supreme court found him to be as normal as you or I last week. Just an unorthodox self promoter. How come you squares at Madison Avenue don't have the balls to do what he did?

I guess this begs the question what exactly is crazy then if LeRogue up there isn't? Even if he claims he had no intentions of actually hurting A-Rod or Cameron, isn't it crazy enough just to pretend like you might? Supposedly, he's a big Yankee and A-Rod fan, and the John Hinckley routine was just a scheme he cooked up to drum up hype for his book entitled (and I'm not making this up) "Children's Edition: The Illuminati Code Cracked". Oh, well in that case, he's the picture of mental stability. I'd say the fact that he jumped onto the Yankee Stadium field during a nationally televised baseball playoff game with heavy police presence, changed his name to a bad comic book character, and wrote a book about the Illuminati is enough evidence that he is bat-shit, balls to the wall, nuts. Just the fact that he believes in the Illuminati is enough reason for me to believe he's not only bonkers, but a dick. He might fancy himself some type of free thinking, marketing genius, but if I were to change my name to Creepy McSpooky, and ran up to the White House lawn with a diary strapped to my ass professing my love for Michelle Obama, I would expect to be promptly locked up under the jail for the rest of my days. This isn't to say that A-Rod is on the same level as the President, but if you're crazy enough to do that for attention, who's to say you're not crazy enough to follow through with your "pretend" threats? After all, there's no greater promotion than actually murdering someone.

A-Rod: The Yankee I Dislike the Most

I really don't like A-Rod, which is funny, since I actually like many players on the team currently. I have a lot of respect the core three of Jeter, Posada, and Rivera, now in the twilight of their careers, despite recent events. Rivera is the best closer ever. It's too bad he's blown three blown saves against the Orioles. Despite that stat, his performance is on pace to roughly equal the quality of his performance last year.

I think Mark Teixiera is goofy looking motherf'er (I feel like him and John Lackey have to share the same horrible overbite genes), but he's a solid first baseman. He does insist on making nearly every play to 1B for an out more dramatic by scooping up the ball into a quasi-fist pump, holding up the glove to the Ump as if to say, "You see, I got." I remember making fun of Cano several years back for having a lot of errors at second base. That doesn't seem to be a problem any more. He's one of the best hitters on the team now, a superior player than the guy on my fantasy team five years ago.

Brett Gardner might be the fastest guy in the league. Too bad he struggles to get on base. Nick Swisher is my personal favorite. He's goofy, but so damn likable. I really enjoyed the Swishawk. I actually wish he was playing a little bit better. He's a strange and entertaining man. Check out his twitter feed if you into that sort of thing. I even like Joba, who looked terrible last time I saw him. I swear he got fatter. And if you type "Joba Chamberlain" into Google, Joba Chamberlain gains weight, Joba Chamberlain fat, and Joba Chamberlain overweight are suggested as possible searches. Looks like he's been hitting the buffet line a little more often than the training room. He's got a really touching story with his dad and all, but hasn't lived up to expectations. I guess he's doing better in the last few games. His ERA dropped to like 3.8, which is respectable.

Anyway, this post isn't about those guys. It's about A-Rod and why I don't like him. Now, I don't think that he's not a great player. I don't think that he's not one of the best hitters ever. I just don't like him. And it's hard to explain why I don't like him. It's not that I don't like him because he's not clutch. It's not that I don't like him because he's a Yankee, although I think slapping Bronson Arroyo's hand in 2004 didn't help. It's not like I don't like him because his life is way better than mine in many respects. I don't dislike him because of his divorce, potential cheating, or any other nonsense in his personal life. It's not about his stats, his ability as a player, or the life he leads as a result.

I don't like A-Rod because he seems like a douche. He just comes across that way. Maybe it's the occasionally frosted hair, those purple lips, or those hamburger helper mitts he wears. Maybe I dislike him because he's hopeless in love with himself. Remember that picture above. Nope, it's not Tiger Woods. It's A-Rod. Yeah, I suppressed it from my memory too, because he literally looks like he's saying to himself, "I'd do me. I'd go gay for me." Maybe it's that attitude. I'm not sure, but he just seems like a colossal douche. The guy's nickname can be literally translated to "a dick." That probably doesn't help. Maybe I just hate his face. I got into an argument with some girl who thought he was the hottest Yankee (No Homo. Note, a guy can say or do anything, as long as he says "No Homo" afterward or doesn't make eye contact.). I got it when chicks thought Jeter was hot. It made sense, but A-Rod just looks weird.

Jeter and Cano seem like alright guys. Maybe it's because they smile all the time. They project a quiet confidence that doesn't seem arrogant or indicative of insecurity. A-Rod, however, projects douche-ness constantly. Whether at bat, on the field, post-game, or in a commercial, A-Rod just oozes douche. Remember that Nike commercial with A-Rod training with a medicine ball? Yeah, I haven't bought a Nike product since seeing it. Nike sales probably slumped after it aired. Come to think of it I don't remember him being in any ads lately. It might be that he hasn't been in that many or it might be that he has so little charisma that I don't remember them.

Another reason I don't like A-Rod is that he does not seem that tough mentally. He's an extraordinarily talented athlete, but he comes across as very weak mentally. I feel like if he got cancer, he'd never play again. He doesn't seem like he would come back harder and stronger like Lance Armstrong (who may be a cheater) or Jon Lester. I just don't see it. He just seems like a whiny bitch. His career would be over. Yes, I realize that at his age, this comparison might not be fair, but I would feel the same way if he was ten years younger. And I don't think coming back from what I understand to be a relatively minor hip surgery proves otherwise.

I was reminded that I don't like A-Rod over the weekend when I saw him at bat with a big wad of sunflower seeds and what appeared to be like five pieces of gum. He looked like he had a dick in his mouth. I was somewhat concerned he could choke, but then I thought, "What an asshole. This guy is supposed to be focused on this at bat and he's got his mouth so full of crap he has to spit out sunflower seeds in between each pitch. Maybe he'd be hitting better if he wasn't so focused on what's in his mouth and was paying more attention to the game." Don't get me wrong, I liked the result, but I couldn't help thinking that he was being a lousy teammate and player there. Maybe I haven't seen enough tape of A-Rod. Maybe he does better with a dick's worth of crap in his mouth. I don't know, but I know I don't like him.