The Metta World Peace Keeping It Real HOF (Formerly the Ron Artest Keeping it Real HOF)

In case you haven't been paying attention, or your life is full of more important, show offy things like work and family and relationships, Ron Artest did something crazy again. This time, he's decided to have his name legally changed to Metta World Peace. World Peace because, of course, he's an advocate for peace between all nations and the abolishment of the cyclical violent mentality that plagues this planet and Metta because he's fucking nuts (that's the reason for the last name too). Thank you, Ron..I mean Metta, for giving us another reason to write about you. Changing your name to something like World Peace is not all that keeping it real, but we'll give you a pass for everything else that's on your resume. Keep on keeping it real, Metta.

The Perps vs The Upright Citizens

And here's the line-up:

THE PERPS

Point Guard: Damon Stoudamire has the marijuana convictions, and Iverson is a fellow perp-with-neck-tattoo, but Delonte West emerged on top. His 2010 conviction, when he was caught, (Desperado-style) with two handguns, a shotgun, and a large knife inside a guitar case, clearly won him the starting role. To boot, he also had sex with a teammate's (Lebron's) mother.

Shooting Guard: Arenas, having brought guns into the locker room and pointed them at a teammate, was an early consideration. Yet, King Perp, Isaiah "Easy" Rider, easily took the starting role, with 12 convictions between 2006 and 2008. From kidnapping, to cocaine possession, to grand theft, hes done it all. Quickly awarded team captain.

Small Forward: Artest was the popular pick for this position, but his former teammate and keeping-it-real expert Stephen Jackson ultimately won the starting job. Both thoroughly enjoy jumping into the stands to beat up fans, and while Artest does have a criminal record (including multiple domestic violence charges), Jackon earned the nod on the strength of his legendary 2006 conviction. After making it rain in an Indianapolis strip club, Jackson and his friend "Dino" got into a gun fight in the parking lot, which resulted in Jackson assaulting a man with a deformed arm and ultimately returning to practice the next day with some stitches in his lip.

Power Forward: Besides his sexual assault case and multiple DUI's, Zack Randolph made the team based on one distinction: he's knee-deep in the cane.. yeahhhhhh... Allegedly acting as a drug kingpin WHILE PLAYING IN THE NBA, Randolph's unique ability to perp multi-task makes him invaluable. Also was seen in a strip club while on bereavement leave from the team.

Center: While the Birdman was suspended from the league for a long span, any random bum can smoke some crack and get in trouble. A murder rap, on the other hand, gets you respect. Jayson Williams reportedly used the excuse that the gun went off on its own and shot a guest in his home. Sure. Williams also has the requisite DUI convictions along with an assault rap for punching a hick in the face in a North Carolina bar.

Coach Isiah Thomas, responsible for an 11.6 million dollar sexual harassment lawsuit (one of the largest in US history), knows a thing or two about being a perp. Will he have his team ready to play? We'll see.

The Upright Citizen's line-up comes tomorrow....

The Ron Artest Hall of Fame (Formerly the PTU Keeping It Real Hall of Fame)

Sometime in early February 2011, a group of ambitious and bored friends from Brooklyn decided to turn their e-mails into a blog so the whole world could share in our bull shit. 32 years earlier Ron Artest was born. And there has never been a better fit between player and meaningless blog.

Ron captures everything about a keeping it real athlete in one somewhat disturbed package:

• He admitted to drinking Hennessy at halftime of games.
• He ran into the crowd and punched opposing team's fans (completely unrelated to the Hennessy thing)
• Witnessed at least one death on the court as a youth involving a table chair through the heart
• Thanked his Psychiatrist in his post-game 7 on court interview and then appeared at the press conference with what seemed like half of Queensbridge
• Got pulled over driving a street legal racing car in Los Angeles mid-day traffic
• Has a hip-hop record label, Tru Warrior Records, which he once had carved into his head (his hair, that is, although carving it into his head would be even more keeping it real).
• Does not seem to be phased by big game situations, such as game 7s.
• Kisses his biceps after routine lay-ups

The PTU Keeping it Real Hall of Fame is now officially the Ron Artest Hall of Fame; Let us bask in the realness that is Ron-Ron. Say Queensbridge.