Lame Suburban Crime Blotter Update

Since moving out to the suburbs I always find the local crime blotter to be a good source of amusing reading. Maybe it's because this stuff wouldn't even get reported in Brooklyn (at least in keeping it real Brooklyn). All of this reminds me of the time when I lived in CT and three cop cars searched for me because I slammed a door at the drunk burger spot at 2am.

Anyway, here are some of my favorites, courtesy of he Nassau County Police Blotter:

• On July 7 around 10 p.m., a suspect in his mid-teens attempted to buy beer at the Fresh Break located at 2736 Merrick Road in Bellmore. When a worker refused, the suspect took a Slurpee on the way out of the store. When worker confronted the suspect, the suspect gave back the Slurpee. According to police, the suspect has stolen items in the past. 
• On July 29 around 1:55 a.m., five unknown suspects stole beer from the Rite Stop on Newbridge Road.
• Sometime between July 22 and July 25, unknown suspect(s) spraying shaving cream on a 1993 Ford at Woodmont Sports Complex in Wantagh. The shaving cream was also sprayed inside the gas tank, causing the vehicle's engine to seize. (I'm thinking the engine seized because this was an 18 year old Ford).
• A flower pot at Napoli Marble and Granite on 3501 Merrick Rd., Seaford was reported damaged between July 30 and 31.
• On Aug. 3, a police officer observed two suspicious males on bicycles near a BP Gas Station on Central Avenue. During the interview, the suspects stated they stole the bicycles earlier that day. Suspects showed the officers what house they stole it from and the victim identified his property.
• On June 4, it was reported that damage was done to a brick light stanchion on Sally Court. (Try calling the NYPD to report damage to your light stanchion)
• On Argyle Road, a complainant observed a group of youths hanging out, then heard commotion outside his residence and saw a subject stepping onto and over his 2006 white Chevy causing damage. This happened on June 4.

Pull Your Pants Up

In one of the perpiest sports stories in recent memory, Cowboys Wide Receiver Dez Bryant was issued a warning from police for a public disturbance that stemmed from him and his boys wearing their pants too low at a mall. Allegedly, the authorities were notified when Dez and his crew refused to pull up their pants. Seriously.

There's definitely a question as to the validity of a law policing an individuals' choice of wardrobe (unless his Jimmy Johnson was showing) but I can respect both side's points of view here. There is a growing trend around the country of local laws issueing fines if someone's boxers are showing, and while this might seem to some people like racial profiling or an infringement on their personal liberties, the bottom line is it just looks bad. C'mon man, you're a grown adult. I've never met a woman that likes that look and whitey is going to look at you as a thug. Pull your damn pants up.