Don't Blame The Refs: The Thunder Are Killing Themselves

It's a common practice of haters such as ourselves to try to find a reason, any reason, that the target of our hate is succeeding. In the case of PTU whipping boy, LeBron James, the thought of his actually winning a championship could send any basketball fan scrambling for a Kennedy assassination level conspiracy theory. The most common theory is the fix is in and the refs are going to make sure the Heat win a title. I think this is baloney. Big market teams (and the teams that get the highest ratings) do sometimes get a boost from the officials. There's been a couple games in the past 10 years that appeared to show blatant favoritism towards a team like the Lakers, but I believe that there's a greater chance that Tupac is tanning on the beach on an island somewhere than David Stern called the officials into his office and said "Make sure the Heat get the majority of the calls in this series. And for God sakes, get Durant off the court however you can!". Let's say the NBA does occasionally conspire to fix games for the sake of argument. Even if they worked to get a particular team in the Finals (and it would be the Lakers not the Thunder playing the Heat if they did), once that team was there, the most important thing would be to prolong the series. The league does not benefit from one team winning a series in 5. They would also not purposely put the third biggest superstar on the bench, as some people have implied, through manipulated foul calls. The Finals have been marketed by the league as Magic vs Bird 2.0. They wouldn't then purposely get Magic in foul trouble. The fact of the matter is Kevin Durant has committed dumb fouls throughout the series.


Are some of these fouls a little ticky tack? Sure. But I can't see a scenario in which the NBA would mandate it's referees to take one of the best players off the court in a Finals series. Of the four fouls in the video, the worst call is probably the first. A jab step and a shoulder used to clear some space that Durant and LeBron do all the time. A bad call, maybe, but not sinister if you ask me. The other calls are all legit; a hold as LeBron goes around a screen, a hand across the face of Bron on a layup, and leaving his feet on a Wade layup. All of these could probably have been no calls, but could also have been avoided by KD.

Even if all of these fouls were to get him off the floor in key moments, and the Heat took a lot more free throws, the Thunder really shot themselves in the foot through other dumb mistakes that were not contingent on the officials. Namely, back to back fouls on Heat three pointers (of which the Heat hit all 6 shots) that trimmed a 10 point lead to 4 in about 2 minutes of game time towards the end of the third. Even with the sloppy play on defense and offense by the Thunder they were still within striking distance, but again beat themselves by doing something that was beyond the referee's control: missing foul shots in the fourth quarter. Had they knocked down their shots, not made silly turnovers and stayed composed in crunch time (something that they have mostly been able to do throughout the playoffs), OKC would have won by a few points and the conspiracy theorists could go back to investigating the draft lottery (which actually is fixed) or something until tomorrow night. The truth is the Thunder didn't make enough winning plays, and in a turn of events even more painful for us haters, the Heat did.

Championships Are Over Rated

The NBA Finals are here. Tomorrow, the Finals are under way in OKC and we're already hearing all of the usual championship hype. Who's going to step up, who's going to shrivel under pressure, what legacies will be created and which will be tarnished forever? But while championship rings are of course an important symbol of a great career (you have to have done something right to win one), they are also undoubtedly over rated in regards to a player's success. Whenever the topic of greatest players ever is brought up, it always comes back to the rings. Kobe fans can throw that in the face of the haters, "he's got 5 rings, bro!". Gretzky's worshippers can tell you how unreal his number of rings are, Jeter supporters always have the hardware argument to fall back on, and people in the Bill Russell is the greatest basketball player ever camp love that picture of him rocking his rings on every finger like he's Slick Rick. But while those are undeniably among the greatest to ever lace up sneakers, cleats and skates, does not having a ring mean a player's career was a complete bust? Of course not. Barkley, Ewing, Reggie Miller, Karl Malone, the list goes on and on of great players who don't have rings and who's reputations have taken hits because of it. Ewing leads the Knicks in nearly every statistical category possible but there's a large portion of Knicks fans who will list him behind Willis Reed or Clyde Frazier on the all time Knicks list because he wasn't ever able to win in June. That's crazy. Is Nazr Mohammed a better former Knicks center because he has a ring (and may get another this season) and Ewing doesn't? Robert Horry and Steve Kerr were very good role players who hit a ton of big shots (hence the nickname Big shot Bob) but the fact that they were a part of 9 straight championships from 1994-2003 shouldn't overshadow that they were not even all star worthy players. They hit huge shots but also were just really, really lucky to ride the coat tails of some of the greatest players ever. If not for Jordan, Pippen, Olajuwon, Kobe, Shaq and Duncan, Robert Horry and Steve Kerr would be Cedric Ceballos and Tim Legler. That one piece of jewelry causes most people to over rate a player's worth even if winning a championship requires a huge amount of factors to fall into place just right. A couple bounces one way or the other and we view Barkley as a top 5 all time player, rather than a second tier superstar who's good for a funny quote. There is no shame in falling just short against the greatest athlete of all time. Those guys on the previous list just happened to be born around the same time as MJ.

This isn't to say that we should disregard championships altogether as measuring sticks. In certain cases, a player's failure to deliver in the clutch or lack of a competitive instinct (we're looking at you, LeBron and Karl Malone) were/are symbolized by their empty mantles (well, I guess they have MVP trophies and other things that billions of dollars can buy you but no ring). But, we shouldn't let the magical ring overpower a player's entire career in either direction. In a couple weeks, LeBron could very well win one, and then everything will be forgiven. Or Derek Fisher could suddenly have as many rings as Jordan and Nazr Mohammed could have as many as Olajuwon. Only a fool would put those guys in the same class simply because of their jewelry collection, but are they any more "winning guys" than the players who weren't in the right place at the right time? We'll never know, but let's not let championships over rate, or under rate, athletes'legacies.

NBA Finals Preview: Like Night and Day

The Oklahoma City Thunders may not be the NBA's number one choice to represent the Western conference (that would be the Lakers) but Scottie Brooks' boys should make most basketball fans excited. After all, this is the rare "play the right way" team that is really fun to watch. They're not the Anti-Heat but they're pretty close. Just about all of their main players are home-grown talent, still playing for the squad that drafted them (even if they were known by a different name at the time) the exception being veterans Derek Fisher and Kendrick Perkins, who may own the second ugliest jump shot in the league next to Jared Jeffries. But the trio of Durant, Westbrook and Harden (along with possibly the best defensive player in the league, all apologies to Tyson Chandler) carry the team, and this "our guys" mentality is only enhanced by the fact that Oklahoma City has literally nothing else to do right now. There are no other pro teams who play there, and Sooners football and basketball is a ways away. It's all they got, and the crowds at Chesapeake energy center (that's what it's called) reflect this type of giddy atmosphere. The Heat on the other hand, may have the worst fans in sports. While Lakers fans are often derided as being more about being seen than actually rooting for the Lakers, Heat fans take this kind of front running, attention seeking to another level. When the Heat are bad, the sight of thousands of empty, yellow seats is common place, and when they're good, you still see lots of empty seats next to the plastic surgeons and plastic surgery enthusiasts. Notorious front runners, you can even see their fickle nature from quarter to quarter. If the Heat are down by a few points, instead of rallying their team to victory like a good fan base would, they sit on their hands or just leave. The Thunder fans stand for the entire second half most games. Can you imagine Heat fans pushing their team to a win when they're down by 15 like Thunder fans did in game 6 vs the Spurs? Never.

So the fans are polar opposites, as is how the teams were assembled, and so are their team leaders. Durant is a quiet, by all accounts humble dude who only has tattoos where nobody can see them and announced his re signing with the team that drafted him via Twitter. LeBron is LeBron. Temperaments aside, they have very different games as well. Bron preferring to either bulldoze his way to the rim (when he feels like it) or shoot midrange jumpers. Durant has almost unlimited range as well as occasional outbursts at the rim, but he couldn't physically overpower anyone. Who will become a first time champion this season? I really have no idea, but I'd put my money on the Thunder. They're deeper, playing at a more consistenly high level, and less beat up. It also seems like it's destined to be their time. They knocked off the Mavs, Lakers and Spurs and can now knock off the Heat, teams that accounted for 10 of the last 12 championships. It's Durant's turn.

Thunder in 7

PTU Retirement: LeBron James and The Miami Heat

The Finals ended last night in a sort of anticlimactic way, at least compared to the first 5 games of the series. Dirk bounced back from a terrible first half to hit his usual clutch shots and the Heat looked lost on offense for long stretches of the third and fourth quarters. Worst of all, LeBron wasn't great or terrible but pretty much just had a blah, mediocre game. And with that, let's say goodbye to the NBA for 4 months (unless something crazy happens like Kevin Love dies in a hang gliding accident) and most importantly of all, let's say goodbye forever to PTU's unofficial mascot and whipping boy: LeBron James.

Over our 4 months of existence, we here at PTU have written approximately 638 posts about either LeBron James or the Miami Heat (or at least that's what it seems like). Whatever the number, there's only so many ways you can theorize about hating a basketball team or a player. And with that, I now raise to the PTU rafters, the most hated jersey in the world (outside of New Jersey): LeBron James and the Heat. I will not make another snide remark about the so-called King, call him by another demeaning nickname (LeBum, LeBrick, LePerp, LeBum, Peppino, etc) or write phony interviews with the man discussing his sexual organs or lack thereof. I will not write one more post about haters, hating or whether or not we should hate him and his team. And most of all, I will not post another pic of LeBron James' face crying, screaming, yawning, looking sad, confused, happy, cocky, or whatever. LeBron, Wade, Bosh, Spoelstra, even Joel Anthony and the rest of the Heat are now dead to me. It's been a good run, you've provided us and our readers hours of enjoyment and agony, but now it's time to find a new villain.

So long, LeBron. Even if we no longer say it, please believe that you will always be hated deep down in our hearts.

PTU EXCLUSIVE: LeBron James Interview

We're all pretty excited around here. In only our 4th month in existence and with not one press credential among us, we were able to score an exclusive post game interview with the most polarizing figure in sports after yet another late game meltdown.

PTU: LeBron, thanks for taking some time out of your busy schedule to sit down with us for a couple minutes. I know the media's been pretty harsh towards you lately.

LeBron: Thanks for having me, I love reading you guys, especially Bottle. He cracks me up and has supported me since day one.

PTU: Yeah, he's great. Now down to brass tacks. So, LeBron, what is it exactly that has been holding you back during the big moments in the Finals? You seemed to have everything going for you just a few weeks ago. Me and Bottle had already said you were now the closer and King. What gives?

LeBron: Well, uh, this is kind of hard to say...My vagina has been bothering me.

PTU: I'm sorry, I thought you said your vagina. Your what was bothering you? Shoulder?

LeBron: My vagina.

PTU: vagina?

LeBron: yes, my vagina. I've kept it a secret for a while. Even adopted a couple of kids to cover it up but I have a vagina. A big, sloppy, sometimes irritable vagina.

PTU: Well, this is big news.

LeBron: I wanted to break it here first. Plus, Oprah just retired so...

PTU: Thanks, LeBron. So, let's get down to business. Do you wear a jock strap?

LeBron: i have a specially made vagina strap.

PTU: Interesting. Do you have any issues with the menstrual cycle? Is this a normally functioning vagina?

LeBron: It's as normal as any other. To be honest, I've had a pretty heavy flow lately. I can't believe I'm telling you guys this.

PTU: it's ok, we're known for getting transgenders through tough times.

LeBron: No homo though.

PTU: Of course. Now, have you had any issues with yeast infections?

LeBron: All the time. In fact, remember when I bricked that 3 last night in the last 2 minutes?


PTU: Yeast infection?

LeBron: Bingo. It can be really irritating. Throws off my jump shot. Not making any excuses or anything though. I feel like I'm a two way player. I think I can help my team defensively even when my shot's not really falling. That and I have extraordinarily large female genitalia.

PTU: Do you sit down to use the bathroom?

LeBron: Well, I have a functioning vagina so yes.

PTU: Right, of course. How has having this vagina affected your relationship with team mates?

LeBron: Well, at first I think it took some of the guys by surprise, but now I think they've learned to embrace my vagina.

PTU: Well, this has truly been eye-opening, LeBron, and we want to thank you for shedding some light on a topic that is all too often ignored: professional athletes who have lady parts.

LeBron: Hey, what can I say? I got a huge pussy.

PTU: Love to talk more but I know you're busy. Thanks, and good luck in game 6, Bron.

LeBron: Appreciate it, man.

Night of The Living Haters

If last Thursday's meltdown in Miami was Christmas for LeBron haters, then last night's no show was New Year's Eve, your 21st birthday and losing your virginity all rolled in one. Much like how the previous 2 rounds of unprecedented LeBron clutchness and awesome play in the 4th quarters were the worst possible ways for the Heat to win for Hater nation, these 2 losses in the Finals have been like Manna from heaven. You might have thought (as I did) that the haters were dead and buried by the sheer power of James and the Heat, but the hater has been resurrected. LeBron and the Heat choke away a 15 point fourth quarter lead after their usual premature celebrations (LeBron you punk!), and now LeBron barely shows a pulse in what might have been the turning point of the series, scoring in single digits for the first time in his 90 game playoff career (LeBron shrinks again!). It can't get any better as an Exhibit A for the haters.

Last night's performance was eerily similar to game 5 vs. the Celtics last season, the game that some people (including, most angrily, Cavs owner Dan Gilbert) accused Bron Bron of intentionally quitting on the team since he already had South Beach in his sites. So what's the excuse now? The only justification for all the douche baggery of "The Decision" and the pre season "we did it" circle jerk to calling yourself King would be winning what he claims is most important to him: a championship. Yet, in the biggest game of the season (before tomorrow's game stole that title) in which Miami could have dealt a knock out blow to the Mavs, LeBron comes out lacking any aggression and playing as passively as ever. It's all very strange and is proving the haters right. He's so talented and physically gifted that those of us who were on the fence about the guy (I'd put myself in that category even though I'm a Heat hater) wanted to believe that any game like last night or Game 5 vs. Boston had to be because of an ulterior motive, like a teammate was banging his mother, or he wanted to force his way out of the city. Maybe he's just not built for the spotlight like we thought. Even scarier, maybe Hater J is right and he's just a pussy. Anything less than a game winner and a 35 point average over the next 2 or 3 games, and it'll be hard to erase the memory of last night and game 5 from LeBron's legacy. The haters are on the verge of a takeover.

NBA Finals Preview: The Beginning of The End

We're back. I hope everyone had a lazy, BBQ filled weekend without too many annoying friends you didn't want to see or heartburn. Now, it's time for basketball again after what seems like weeks. The couple games every day that are played during the first 3 rounds really become a habit, then suddenly no games for 4 days and I feel like Pookie in New Jack City. "It just keeps calling me". I probably need some new hobbies.

Anyway, tonight finally brings game 1 of the NBA Finals or the beginning of the end for most haters out there. Championship rings have this strange aura about them, able to erase years of bad reputations. LeBron's already half way there since he's morphed into Mr. Clutch this postseason. What about the other guys who will be playing?

Point Guard:
Mike Bibby vs. Jason Kidd

8 years ago, if you would've taken a poll asking which marquee PG would still be leading their teams to finals in 2011, it may have been split between these two guys. Bibby was a young up and comer who had proven to be a clutch shooter with the Kings and Jason was already 30. No matter, Kidd is no longer the speedy passer he was, but is now a wily vet, 3-point shooting floor general and Mike Bibby is filling the requisite 5th player role. They might as well play 4 on 5.
Advantage: Mavs

Shooting Guard:
Dwyane Wade vs. Deshawn Stevenson/Jet Terry
I swear I have to say to myself "Dwhy-ane" every time I write that name. What's the deal, Mrs. Reverend Wade? I know you had a drug problem but damn. Deshawn starts for whatever reason, but Terry is probably Dallas's 2nd best scorer.
Advantage: Dwhy-ane and the Heat.

Small Forward:
LeBron vs. Shawn Marion
Damn, Dallas has a late 90's early 2000s all star team. Me and my brothers used to create teams on NBA Live 98 or whatever it was. If Dallas still had Steve Nash, this Mavs team could have definitely been one of them. I heard the Matrix has a reality show coming out after the season. I'd rather eat nails then watch that.
Advantage: Heat

Power Forward:
Chris Bosh vs. Dirk Nowitzki
Yeah, I guess I should take back all the RuPaul insults, Bosh has been money this spring. But he'll be facing off against the other player who everyone will be watching this series. Many people view this as Dirk's last stand (I'm not totally sure of that) but the way he's been playing, he looks to be on a mission.
Advantage: Mavs

Center:
Joel Anthony vs. Tyson Chandler
Tyson's gone from underrated to almost over-rated this playoffs. He does a serviceable job out there though and is 100 times better than Joel. The sarcastic MVP chants from the Miami crowd are actually pretty funny, though.
Advantage: Mavs

Bench:
This is probably the clearest advantage for Dallas outside of the point guard match-up. Dallas' biggest strength this playoffs has been it's bench. Nicholas brother NBA Live all-star Peja and Terry lead the attack. My guess is Spoelstra will keep at least 2 of the big 3 out there at all times so as not to get too exposed (and that's what he's been doing most of these playoffs anyway) although Haslem and Mike Miller have been a spark lately.
Advantage: Mavs

Coach:
Spoelstra vs. Rick Carlisle
A chimp could roll the ball out on the floor and coach this Miami squad on offense, but you have to give Spo' some credit for getting the Heat to play defense like they do. Carlisle has much more experience though so he has an edge like Derek Jeter.
Advantage: Mavs

Unbelievably, that leaves the Heat with only 2 clear cut advantages here. Shouldn't conventional sports wisdom tell us that the team concept will win out over those 2 guys? Well, throw your grampy's basketball book out the window, Bron and Wade are finishing what Jordan and then Kobe and Shaq started. It's a superstar league and Miami has twice as many of those as Dallas. To paraphrase a recently passed Gil Scott Heron, "The Revolution Will Be Televised". I'm part of the hater brigade this year (weird to be on the hater side after rooting for the Lakers the past 3 seasons) so I hope that I'm wrong like I have been all playoffs (plus Dallas has been so great as an underdog this playoffs I can't pick against them), but I think the end is near for the hater. Long live the king.