Rock n Jock Free Throw Jam Recap

We learned some new things about ourselves and were reminded of some awful things we tried to forget on Saturday. The first game pitted Johnny Bagels, Mr. D and a wannabe Landry Fields slam dunk champion pussy(who came up empty on approximately 257 dunk attempts)against a chubby 14 year old boy, a less chubby 15 year old boy and a 50 year old Chinese jump shooter who defected from Macao to escape the Communists to engage in 3 point contests for bowls of rice. Team PTU plus one raced off to a 13-2 lead on a mixture of awkward lay ups, jump shots and a combined 4 feet of height advantage only to see the opposing team storm back using a Dallas Mavericks like comeback of their own to take the lead. At this point, team PTU had to go to their formidable bench to relieve the woefully out of shape cigarette smoker Bagels before he pulled a Hank Gathers in the middle of Fort Hamilton High School's upstairs courts. With the injection of life provided by the athletic Bottle, team PTU held on for the win on a dramatic put back similar to Ewing's game 7 vs the Pacers in '94 (minus the awkward hug of that goofy white guy in the front row).

Game 2 saw an all PTU lineup of Bagels, Mr. D and Bottle matched up with tall wanna be dunker pussy, the Asian Dell Curry, and a 40 year old man with a hot handball playing wife/sister (?). As expected, Bagels checked out 7 minutes in, replaced by the hustling other guy from Slob Den, who is pictured above. Using the hustle of other guy, and some good PTU teamwork, we held on for a dramatic victory as Bagels and M@d $cientist watched from the bench and made comments only funny to them.

The free throw shooting contest was less eventful but more appropriate for the out of shape Bagels. Despite the encouragement and heckling of M@d, the final numbers broke down as such (you can figure out the percentages yourself):

Bagels: 27 out of 50
Other guy: 26
Mr. D: 24
Bottle: 22
M@d $cientist: 13

So, we learned that we all shoot free throws about as well as Shaq on our best days and about as well as a baby seal hitting the ball off his nose towards the hoop on our worst days.

From there, we ate copious amounts of Chinese food for 10 dollars, but much to the dissapointment of Bagels (and I'm sure Snoot), there was no Sweet and Sour chicken, just chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce on the side. Fail. The lo mein and ice cream was good though, and the atmosphere was appropriately retarded.

Stay tuned for the rematch coming soon.

The 1st Annual PTU Rock n Jock Free Throw Jam

Tomorrow is July 9th, which can only mean one thing: The First Annual PTU Rock n Jock Free Throw and Sweet and Sour Chicken Jam. This is the beginning of a grand tradition that will both delight and haunt the PTU bloggers for the rest of our natural lives. Our children and our children's children's children will forever keep this date open as a time of celebration of athletic prowess and cheap ghetto chinese food.

The day will begin as most historic days in sports have: with 4 hung over bloggers slogging through sausage egg and cheese sandwiches and ice coffee to prepare themselves for the tests of endurance and MANHOOD that lie in their paths. Around 5 or 6, we'll remember that we had something to do that day and tear ourselves away from the MTV True life marathon and air conditioning, kiss our wives on the cheeks and warn them not to wait up for us, it could be a long night. The free throw jam will take place at the storied Owls Head basketball courts in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. These blacktop courts are hallowed ground, and have provided the setting for legends of the streetball game: Kenny "Twinkle Toes" Jackson, Earl "The Ostrich" Walker, and of course, the 5'7" high flyer Damien "The Leprechaun" Murphy. Looking to add to the glory will be the PTU all-stars. Naked Cowboy hater Mr. D has already predicted that he will hit well over 50%, much to the disbelief of his blogging cohorts.

After the drama of the foul shot contests has unfolded, it's on to the Chinese Buffet for the post-game celebration. Sweet and Sour Chicken will be tossed about like candy, hot sauce will flow like champagne, and M@d $cientist will attempt to break his own record by eating a small child's weight in egg rolls. It will be a glorious day, indeed.